Aunt Rachel - 1925 to 2012

This is my favorite picture of Aunt Rachel and me.

TIFTON — Rachel McGhee Hale, 87, of Tifton died Friday, Feb. 17, 2012, at her residence surrounded by her family. Funeral services were held at 11 a.m. Monday, Feb. 20, 2012, at New River Free Holiness Church. The Rev. Gerald Lee officiated, and a eulogy was given by Charles Connell.

Burial followed at New River Free Holiness Church Cemetery. Grandchildren served as pallbearers.

Mrs. Hale was born on Feb. 11, 1925, in Tift County and was the daughter of Dewey Cleveland McGhee and Beulah Merinda Goddard McGhee, both deceased. She was also preceded in death by two sons, Terry Wayne Hale and Dewey Bruce Hale; three brothers, Grady McGhee, Troy McGhee and Rollie McGhee; and one sister, Grace Hale. She was a homemaker and a member of New River Free Holiness Church.

Mrs. Hale is survived by three sons and daughters-in-law Larry Jerome and Darlene Hale, Alvin Virgil and Rhonda Hale and Calvin Clyde and Faye Hale, all of Tifton; one daughter and son-in-law, Joan and Charles Connell of Tifton; two daughters-in-law, Patti Hale of Brookfield and Glenda Hale of Tifton; one brother, Harce McGhee of Tifton; three sisters and two brothers-in-law, Alice McGhee Padgett of Tifton, Hazel and Jim Cattell of Tifton, and Ruth and David Carrin of Jacksonville, Fla.; two sisters-in-law, Delores McGhee and Ann McGhee; 10 grandchildren; and 14 great-grandchildren.
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Before moving to Wyoming, Aunt Rachel had asked me to speak at her funeral when her time came.  What an honor and a privilege it was to be asked.  She said she had informed all of her family and let them know.  And, even when I visited with her last October, she said the same thing again with Joan sitting there.

The phone rang about 8:30 and when I saw that it was Dad calling, I knew it wasn't good news and expected it had something to do with Aunt Rachel.  She'd been sick for quite awhile and had stayed with us longer than expected.  I remember that she wasn't expected to live even till Christmas and here it was almost two months later.  I called her on a very regular basis to check up on her and speak with her when possible.  In her last few days, breathing had become very difficult for her so many times we were unable to speak with each other.  The week of her birthday I had had a bouquet of flowers delivered and was very fortunate that on her birthday (the 11th) I had been able to sing "Happy Birthday" to her and have a short conversation.  This was the last time I spoke with her before her passing.

What an incredible woman she was.  There is so much I could say about her and I have written about her in earlier blogs.  Simply said...I loved her.  I loved her so much for so many reasons.  Unfortunately, I wasn't able to make it back to Georgia to speak at the funeral.  However, I wrote the following and Nancy read it for me in my stead...

"From the beginning of time, God has used angels as His emissaries in conveying love and concern for His children.  The scriptures are filled with accounts of angels ministering to those on earth and usually such beings are not seen, but we should also be reminded that not all angels are from the other side of the veil.  Some of them we walk with and talk with – here, now, every day.  Some of them live in our neighborhoods.  Some of them gave birth to us.  Indeed heaven never seems closer than when we see the love of God manifested in the kindness and devotion of people so good and so pure that angelic is the only word that comes to mind. 

I think it would be safe to say that there is not a single person sitting here today that was not blessed by Rachel Hale in one way or another.  She truly was one of God’s ministering angels here on earth.  How many times did she come into your home or your hospital room just to be there for you – to offer comfort or food or do whatever she could to make your burden lighter?  How many times were you sitting at a doctor’s office or the hospital waiting room and she was there for you – to hold your hand, give you a hug or even a shoulder to cry on?  How many times did she perform acts of kindness that brought immeasurable joy into your life?  I was one of those people whose life she blessed.  You knew she'd always be there for you, no matter what.  And she was.

Aunt Rachel loved her family.  You only had to step into her home and look about and see the pictures and drawings and notes of her family placed on the walls and shelves.  As a single mother, you knew that she’d done a wonderful job raising them because of the caring and loving  people they became. Aunt Rachel loved our Heavenly Father and you knew that without a doubt.  She manifested that love each and every day with every person she came in contact with.  Aunt Rachel loved life.  I got to see that during trips we went on together and the many, many conversations we had.  Hopefully, we will always remember with great love and fondness something that she did or said to us. 

Thank you for your gifts to me, Aunt Rachel.  Your gift of love and friendship.  Your wonderful conversations.  Thank you for sharing your special recipes - the chicken and dumplings and the peach cobbler.  I will never, ever make them and not think of you.

More Changes?

I have to keep reminding myself each day that "Today is the best day ever"!  It's become a daily mantra.  I am finding out that with each day, things keep evolving and change is definitely inevitable.  Life seems to be on a slow motion spiral and when it will end only our Heavenly Father knows.  I realize that generally today won't be as good as yesterday, but that today will most likely be better than tomorrow.  This primarily relates to Joe and the unpredictableness (hmm, is that even a word?) of his life.

We are now in week two of such changes for Joe.  He has been exhibiting the following symptoms on pretty much a daily basis.  His physical therapist would not even work with him the other day for fear of Joe collapsing or worse.  The symptoms include:

• the worse of which is...plummeting blood pressure.  It went from 190/something to 80/43 in just the matter of minutes while at the cardiologist's office for a routine pacemaker checkup.
• loss of use of his legs wherein he starts to bobble in his legs and then collapses.  When assisted, his legs tend to just drag. 
• a slight trembling in his hands.
• an irregular heartbeat.

I am grateful that when these episodes have happened I haven't been alone with him as he becomes total dead weight and it is difficult to hold him up.  And, they have been witnessed while at the Senior Center by their staff, while at dialysis, while at physical therapy and most importantly, while at the cardiologist's office.  It helps to validate and confirm that there is something wrong happening.

Are these symptoms related to his new medications from a couple of weeks ago?  Are these symptoms related to the possibility of fluid returning to his brain?  Thus far this month, we have made two trips to the emergency room, had an appointment with his cardiologist, have an appointment with a neurologist next week, have had an appointment with his primary care doctor and telephone conversations with his kidney doctor and various nurses and have no answers yet.  I have been told to remove one of his blood pressure medications and move one from the morning dose to the evening dose.

At this point, it's a matter of wait and see what happens.

"A friend can tell you the things you don't want to tell yourself."  ~Frances Ward Weller

Fireproofing My Marriage

This last week has really been an eyeopener for me and my relationship with Joe.  There was an incident that took place one evening between Joe and I that had never happened before regarding Joe's mental state.  It was so frightening to me that I discussed it with his doctor the next day and she urged me to get him to the emergency room as soon as possible to have a full workup done on him.  So, I did just that.  We were at the emergency room some 7 1/2 hours while a series of tests took place.  And, near the end of the ER stay, a case worker came and spoke to each one of us individually.   Long story short - the emergency room doctor discussed Joe's unusual irrational behavior with a phone call to both his neurologist and nephrologist for a consult and direction on a new medication.  It was/has been determined that apparently Joe's vascular dementia is becoming worse.  He's now been put on another medication that will hopefully alleviate some of the stress/irritation he's been feeling, especially towards me. 

I've been quite stressed and frustrated with the deterioration of my relationship with Joe.  It's been very difficult to regard him as my husband and companion when so many of the things he's been doing have been so juvenile or childlike.  A very good friend suggested that I have to learn to "pick my battles"...meaning learn what I think is important enough to correct Joe about in his everyday activities.  I have to learn what he is and is not capable of doing.  He just flat out is not able to function mentally like he used to and I have to accept that.  A perfect example of that occurred yesterday at his physical therapy session.  He was having a very detailed oriented conversation with his therapist about something he'd  read many years ago.  He was quoting specific numbers and data.  I was amazed at how his long term memory is so intact and at the same time realizing, along with his therapist, how fractured his short term memory is becoming.  All this has slowly been working up to a point of frustration for both Joe and me - a point of frequent irritation and misunderstanding.  I haven't been picking my battles.  I hadn't understood until this last week that nothing will change Joe's behavior with all the fussing in the world.  I've learned that if he continues to not flush the toilet, or he wipes toothpaste on the clean hand towel or he gets into the food items on the second shelf of the refrigerator, his mind will not or cannot comprehend that he's doing something "wrong or unacceptable".   I'm learning to just flush to toilet or change the towel or whatever because it's just quicker, easier and won't cause extra contention.  I am trying to learn to serve my husband. 

One of the things that has also helped was watching a movie I'd had on the DVR for several weeks. It was called "Fireproof".  We finally got around to sitting down together to watch it.

It's about...At work, inside burning buildings, Capt. Caleb Holt lives by the old firefighter's adage: Never leave your partner behind. At home, in the cooling embers of his marriage, he lives by his own rules. After seven years of marriage, Caleb and Catherine Holt have drifted so far apart that Catherine wishes she had never married. Neither one understands the pressures the other faces--he as firefighter and she as the public relations director of a hospital. Regular arguments over jobs, finances, housework, and outside interests have readied them both to move on to something with more sparks.

As the couple prepares to enter divorce proceedings, Caleb's father challenges his son to commit to a 40-day experiment he calls 'The Love Dare.' Wondering if it's even worth the effort, Caleb agrees, but more for his father's sake more than for his marriage. When Caleb discovers the book's daily challenges are tied into his parents' new found faith, his already limited interest is further dampened. While trying to stay true to his promise, Caleb becomes frustrated time and again. He finally asks his father, 'How am I supposed to show love to somebody who constantly rejects me?' When his father explains that this is the love God shows to us, Caleb makes a life-changing commitment to love God. And--with God's help--he begins to understand what it means to truly love his wife. But is it too late to fireproof his marriage? His job is to rescue others. Now Caleb Holt is ready to face his toughest job ever--rescuing his wife's heart.

As I watched this movie, it made a real change in my perspective about how I had been treating Joe and not having patience with the things he can't do any longer.  I'd taken some notes during the movie about some of the things that had been said that made a real impact with me.  The "Love Dare" were things like...

The first part of this dare is fairly simple. Although love is communicated in a number of ways, our words often reflect the condition of our heart. For the next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation arises, choose to not say anything. It's better to hold your tongue than to say something you'll regret.

In addition to saying nothing negative to your spouse again today, do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.

Whatever you put your time, energy, and money into will become more important to you. It's hard to care for something you are not investing in. Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says "I was thinking of you today."

Contact your spouse sometime during the business of the day. Have no agenda other than asking how he or she is doing and if there is anything you could do for them.

Think of a specific way you'd like to greet your spouse today. Do it with a smile and with enthusiasm. Then determine to change your greeting to reflect your love for them

What need does your spouse have that you could meet today? Choose a gesture that says, "I cherish you" and do it with a smile.

Begin praying today for your spouse's heart. Pray for three specific areas where you desire for God to work in your spouse's life and in your marriage.  (The biggest thing I wanted to happen this year was for Joe to find joy in his life.  I realized how can that happen if I'm not contributing to that?  What if I am one of the reasons why he can't find that joy)?

Prepare a special dinner at home, just for the two of you. The dinner can be as nice as you prefer. Focus this time on getting to know your spouse better, perhaps in areas you've rarely talked about. Determine to make it an enjoyable evening for you and your mate.

I decided to try some of these things - these love dares.  It's only been three days, but I feel and am aware of a change in my attitude towards Joe.  I've made sure that there has been a more visual display of affection between the two of us and in turn, I've felt more genuine love for him.  He's also been more loving and helpful - he's done the dishes for me a couple of times, he's folded and put away some clothes, etc.  I'm excited in our changes - particularly mine.  Home can truly be a heaven on earth.

It's Almost Like Manna From Georgia!

Look what we found in one of our local Wal-Mart store tonight!

Gonna Grovel and Beg

Back in September I signed up for a photography class I'd really wanted to take for a couple of years.  I finally decided it was time for me to do something for myself.  I got registered, someone volunteered to stay with Joe and so I went, camera in hand, to my first class.  It was such a strange situation for me all in all.

When class was over, I stepped outside into the darkness, got into my car and just sat there and started to cry.  I was overwhelmed by it all.  I couldn't remember the last time I'd been outside that late by myself - without Joe. 

I did manage to make it the the 2nd of six classes the following week, but that was my last.  I felt a considerable amount of guilt about someone else coming over to be with Joe while I was out.  I just knew this man had something he'd rather be doing that "Joesitting".  So, I quit my class so no one would have to do it anymore.

I find that happening to me quite alot.  And, even now I find that if I need to run an errand, I will wait until Joe is napping and then hurry quickly to complete the task so I can return home as soon as possible. 

I've found that many times it does no good to make any firm plans.  I have made appointments or bought tickets to attend an event and then boom!  A sudden turn in Joe's health can bring everything to a halt.  I remember that I'd look forward to the PBR (Professional Bull riders) to come to Casper.  I'd purchased our tickets near the bottom so Joe could see much better.  However, he had to use the bathroom a couple of times and I had to walk him up to the facility.  When the third time came, I was so frustrated, we just went home.  I was missing so much of it anyway.  I know these things don't happen because Joe wishes or wants them to, but it seems as though sometimes my whole life is in flux because of his condition.  I am getting used to it, in a way.  Whenever I try to schedule anything, I tell people that it all depends upon how Joe is feeling at that time.  I don't even try to schedule dinner appointments for the missionaries because our lives are so unpredictable.

Things are changing for the better though.  I used to have so much unpredictability even when it came to my being able to work a full 8 hours.  Now that he is enrolled at the adult daycare, that has taken alot of that stress off of me.  I'm feeling much better and more productive for myself.  And, I feel that between dialysis, the Senior Center and now the daycare, Joe is having more opportunities for social interaction himself.

All I know is this...expecting surprises is part of my daily life.  No one can accuse me of having a boring life.  Another photography class is starting soon.  I think I'm going to see if I can get back into the class and try it all over again.  If so, maybe I'll make all the classes this time?

Cooking Some Wild

Our neighbor, Mark, who lives across the street, gave us a Christmas present this year of an elk roast.  He'd heard me say that I had really enjoyed some elk ribs I've had in Jackson, Wyoming one time.  So, when I gave him his baked goodies Christmas present, he ran into his house and brought out the roast.

I decided I would cook it for our dinner today.  I'd never cooked elk before.  Didn't even know where to begin except to hop onto the internet and see what I could find out.  I wanted to see if it would be possible to cook it in a crock pot so that it would be cooking away while we were at church.  Yep, there were lots of recipes for that.  But, most of them suggested marinading it overnight.  Now to pick a marinade that I had all the fixin's for. 

So, I blended some soy sauce, some Worcestershire sauce, and a packet of mesquite grilling powder.  Then I stabbed the meat a few times with a knife on both side, smeared the thick liquid concoction all over it, placed it in the refrigerator and went to bed.

This morning I put it into one of my crock pots, added some water (for extra gravy according to the internet) and turned it up on high and started the cooking.  All went well, it was so tender you could cut or flake it with your fork.  The flavor was just right and the gravy tasted really good over my homemade mashed potatoes.  Not bad for a girl from South Georgia who'd never cooked elk before.

I think I may have to take Mark some more baked goodies!

Joe's New Toys

Joe is now part of the digital talking books program that is sponsored by the government.  He recieved, free of charge, the cassette player shown above that talks and gives directions.  If you stick a headphone in the side, then of course, you can't hear it.  A special tape slips into the front of the cassette and the entire book is self-contained on that one cassette.  No more turning a series of cassettes over to side 1 or 2 or A or B.  It doesn't matter if the tape is 17 hours long - it's one tape.  The only time you take it out is when you have reached "The End".

Each cassette arrives in it's own little blue plastic box.  When the tape has been heard, the mailing card is turned over on the front and mailed - no postage due!  There is a catalog of hundreds of such tapes and you just place your order of what you want and it's mailed to Joe.  20 tapes at a time, if you wish.  This is such a godsend and so much better than the tape player I had purchased for him that he has always had problems operating and flipping tapes over.  Technology is a wonderful thing!!!

The Best Is Yet To Be

I wanted to share something I read today. It's from an article written by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland entitled, "The Best Is Yet To Be". I will be taking excepts from this that really made an impact on me.

The start of a new year is the traditional time to take stock of our lives and see where we are going, measured against the backdrop of where we have been. I don’t want to talk about New Year’s resolutions, but I do want to talk about the past and the future, with an eye toward any time of transition and change in our lives—and those moments come virtually every day.

As a new year begins and we try to benefit from a proper view of what has gone before, I plead with you not to dwell on days now gone nor to yearn vainly for yesterdays, however good those yesterdays may have been. The past is to be learned from but not lived in. We look back to claim the embers from glowing experiences but not the ashes. And when we have learned what we need to learn and have brought with us the best that we have experienced, then we look ahead and remember that faith is always pointed toward the future. Faith always has to do with blessings and truths and events that will yet be efficacious in our lives.

To yearn to go back to a world that cannot be lived in now, to be perennially dissatisfied with present circumstances and have only dismal views of the future, and to miss the here and now and tomorrow because we are so trapped in the there and then and yesterday are some of the sins of Lot’s wife.
The poet Robert Browning wrote:

Grow old along with me!
The best is yet to be,
The last of life, for which the first was made:
Our times are in his hand
Who saith, “A whole I planned,
Youth shows but half; trust God: see all, nor be afraid!” 2

Some of you may wonder: Is there any future for me? What does a new year or a new job hold for me? Will I be safe? Will life be sound? Can I trust in the Lord and in the future? Or would it be better to look back, to go back, to stay in the past?

Keep your eyes on your dreams, however distant and far away. Live to see the miracles of repentance and forgiveness, of trust and divine love that will transform your life today, tomorrow, and forever. That is a New Year’s resolution I ask you to keep.

Paul taught, “This one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.”

Live to see the miracles of repentance and forgiveness, of trust and divine love that will transform your life today, tomorrow, and forever.

Someone Really Does Understand

Near the end of last year, one of the staff members at the Senior Center gave me a couple of books to read. She felt that they might help me cope with everything going on with Joe. I laid the books on the ottoman in front of the couch and that's where they laid for many, many days. One day I finally got around to opening up one of them and read the page for that date and started bawling like a baby. I read...

"I hesitate to go to a regular gathering for prayer or worship even though the music and messages soothe my soul. It's comforting to be there, but I can't stay. In this safe and tender place, tremendous sadness, too long restrained, breaks loose. I can't hold back the tears. I slip out to my car and can barely see through the wetness to get home.

It's too much for me to stay and try to explain to everyone how tired I am, how much it hurts, how out of control everything seems. But I know it's good for me to go there from time to time. Even when I can't stay, I am cradled for a while by the sacred sounds and sights and silences. I feel the understanding, the hope, the eternal caring. The tears find release there and the grief pours out."

Some really does understand what I experience on a regular basis. Thank you. Many times I have been forced to not attend church because of how Joe was feeling and I was afraid to leave him at home along. Many times we have gone together but been unable to stay for very long because of some emergency which has happened. There have been times when he has had to be assisted by others to walk to the restroom or back out to the car.

On those occasions that I have left him at home tucked securely into bed, I have hurried to the chapel to either sit through Sacrament Meeting or to attend Relief Society. During those times, as I entered the chapel I have felt overwhelmed by a sense of peace and comfort. I knew that I was in a place where I could sit on the back pew or row and just let my tears flow. I knew that I was in a place where my brothers and sisters in the gospel loved me and comforted me. It was like coming home to a family reunion and feeling immeasurable love. I, too, have gone and sat in my car and cried because my heart felt so full and I felt some release from my daily life just listening to the music and sitting in the chapel.

P.S. to It's 2012

I want things to improve so well this year that conversations with friends and family will not start off...

"How's Joe doing"?  I want things to be so improved in both our lives that people will say, "Well, what have you been up to Carol"?

(Note:  It's coincidental that I wrote that earlier.  I was reading a daily excerpt from "Daily Comforts for Caregivers" when I read this..."People are always asking me how my loved one is doing.  I'm glad they care enough to ask.  I wish sometimes they would ask about me as well.  I could use a show of concern.

It seems odd that I'm feeling a little jealous over the attention being given to the person I care for.  I wouldn't want to loved one's shoes.  Yet, although my problems might seem small by comparison, I'm having a difficult time, too.  The problems my loved one experiences are more apparent than mine".

I can honestly say that there have been very few people who have really looked me in the eye and asked me how I am doing and whom I have felt have really meant it.  Don't get me wrong, people are concerned and I am grateful that they do ask about Joe and then me as an afterthought.   However, I am beginning to believe that unless you have truly lived and experienced having to care for someone virtually 24/7, you will never be able to understand.  I never really understood before Joe's problems.  I never really understood what my dad was/is going through with my mom.  I admit that I had even judged my own father harshly at times for things he said or did to my mom.  Now we talk to each other on a regular basis, share common problems and try to solve problems that may come up.  One thing I have over him is that I am so lucky to have a friend who has already gone through this before and she is there as a mentor, a sounding board and someone to give me hugs and "comfort and joy" cookies on really bad days).

It's 2012

I can't believe it's already seven days into the new year.  So much for starting those new plans and resolutions at the beginning of the year.  I'll just justify that by saying I'm doing more contemplating and pondering on how to implement the ones I want to keep and how to rationalize getting rid of the ones that I'm probably going to wimp out on anyway. 

A new year is supposed to be a sign of promise, of hope.  I know that hope won't come from focusing on the uncertain nature of either Joe's or my daily situations.  The truth is, that it is possible to find hope if I trust in the generosity of life - my Heavenly Father, my family, my friends.  Not that I can expect any particular outcome just because I want it.  But I can expect to find help and understanding in every situation I face, now matter how difficult the circumstances may seem, IF I am aware of and ask for that help and understanding.  My dad tells me all the time to "stop denying others their blessings from service.  I don't have to do everything myself". 

At the beginning of the new year I've always tried to determine what my "word of the year" will be.  Let's just take stock of previous years before announcing this year's new word, huh?

2009 - Adjustment - To see what my impending adjustments were anticipated to be, you can go to the article and read about it and see how it all turned out - http://jocarweaver.blogspot.com/2010/01/my-word-for-this-year-is.html.

2010 - Patience - http://jocarweaver.blogspot.com/2011/01/word-of-year-2011.html.  Hmm, still need to work on that one.

2011 - Joy - How'd that work out for me?  By and large not too good at all!  Thank goodness 2011 is over and done with.  Now it's time to move on to my new word for 2012...(drum roll)

And the word is CHANGE! (Please no alluding to President Obama's campaign slogans)!  The definition of change in my situation is...

1. The act, process, or result of altering or modifying (I want at least one hour of quiet time alone in the morning.  I can spend that time reading and/or doing some exercise without having to attend to Joe.  I want to read a book, a magazine, anything!  I want to be able to have Joe tucked into bed by 10:00 each night so that I can finish up my day with at least one hour of quiet time to reflect on the day by blogging or reading).: a change in facial expression.  (I want to smile more and really mean it).

2. The replacing of one thing for another (changing up routines at home, i.e., spending so much time with Joe and not spending alone time for me at the computer.  I want to get back to blogging on a regular basis.  I want to get my book project completed by Christmas this year.; substitution: a change of atmosphere (a new job with benefits that will work with me when Joe has medical commitments).

3. A transformation or transition from one state, condition, or phase to another (I want to continue to stay one step ahead of Joe's needs so that I don't continue to feel like his mother or his maid.  I want to find and experience more love for him).

4. Something different; variety. ( I want to be able to attend a class or go to a meeting or have lunch with a friend without feeling guilty). 

So, let's get back together again at the beginning of 2013 and see if I was fortunate enough to have accomplished what I wanted to this year.

2011 Recap of the Year That Was - Crappy, Stressed, Emotional, etc. etc., etc.

equals =

JaNUaRy started out as a year with high hopes and expectations.  Life was good considering we had gone through about six weeks with no medical problems, I had a great job which was paying very well and there was the promise of 12 brand new months and a clean slate.

Two weeks into the new year and month we had medical emergency no. 1.  I had tried calling Joe for approximately 45 minutes and couldn't reach him.  At first, I thought he might have stepped outside to feed the dogs.  Then I thought maybe he's stepped outside to check the mail.  Then it was that he must be in the bathroom and can't get to the phone.  I knew he shouldn't and really couldn't go anywhere since it was very, very cold and snowy and he should be home.  Finally, I called the Sheriff's Department, told them where to find a house key and they sent a deputy over to do a "well check".  When the Deputy found Joe, he was unconscious on the kitchen floor and was rushed to the hospital.  Apparently his blood sugar had dropped too low and he was going into a diabetic coma.  Luckily he survived with no apparently problems and got to go home. http://jocarweaver.blogspot.com/2011/04/yes-its-true.html.

January 20th brought the end of my job out in the oilfield.  27 people, including myself, were laid off due to "budgetary problems".  I immediately filed for unemployment benefits and began searching for a new job.  The rest of the month was having lunch with friends, job interviews and taking Joe to doctor appointments.  We were also able to make our first trip of the year to Utah for a belated Christmas celebration with the kids. http://jocarweaver.blogspot.com/2011/04/january-2011-trip-to-kids.html and also share in the celebration of Travis and Lindsea's wedding in Utah.  FB said:  "What a great day it was! Loved spending time with my sweet hubby, lunch with friends, Skyped Travis and Lindsea's wedding reception in Georgia, phone calls from caring friends checking on us and a quiet evening at home and clean sheets on the bed. Ahhhh."

fEBrUAry - More job searching in the coldest of winter weather!, Joe had a fistula gram operation http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hemodialysis, I started working part-time for an insurance agency where I was free to job search and take Joe to doctor appointments.  We made our first trip to Utah to share in Derek's third birthday http://jocarweaver.blogspot.com/2011/04/dereks-3rd-birthday-party.html.  More doctor appointments and dialysis. 2/1/11 FB said: "I can't believe that I went job hunting in -30+ degree weather today. It was butt cold and face cold and hands cold, etc.! I think I'll put it off going out again tomorrow and just search from home. Bright spot of the day was having Derek visit with Grandma Carol on the "compooter" this afternoon.  2/19/11 FB - What a great day! Spent time w/my sweetie, spent time w/ a good friend, phone conversations w/family, went grocery shopping all by myself, went to a lecture about the Buffalo Soldiers at the Interpretive Center, ate me some Chinese food all amongst snowflakes throughout the day. Ahh, life is so good.  2/25/11 FB - My fortune cookie today said "Sometimes the object of the journey is not the end, but the journey itself". I find that to be true. Live each day as though it is your own personal journey or adventure because we can't obsess about the future. That's why my heart aches 4 Joe because he doesn't seem to think life will get betr bcause of so much negativity from people @ dialysis. I want a permanent smile back on his face.  2/26/11 FB - No trip to Denver this weekend after all. Joe's kidney evaluation appointment was rescheduled to the following Monday due to a technical error with his insurance company. I was already salivating at the thought of eating at Sweet Tomatoes and bringing me back some Church's and Popeye's chicken. 

MARcH - Resumes, interviews, doctor appointments, part-time work and then a trip to Denver.  The purpose of the Denver trip was a kidney transplant evaluation for Joe.  It was a wonderful diversion for us.  A trip to a big city - eating out in some old favorite restaurants, spending the night in a motel and just getting away from all the regularness of our lives.  The outcome of the trip was continued monitoring of Joe's kidneys and fluids around his heart and lungs.  Been sitting here in the hospital waiting room for a couple of hrs. Joe was having surgery to have his dialysis port work better so it was nothing big, this time.  3/14/11 FB: Sitting in Denver @ the hospital waiting on the next dr. to come in for Joe's transplant evaluation. What a great place with wonderful people. The weather is beautiful here 2day. What a rush driving in the "going to work" traffic this morning!!!  After some add'l tests done for Joe in Casper, results will be sent back to Denver so panel can decide if Joe is to be put on transplant list. Hopefully will know something in the next two weeks. It's all according to the doctors and Heavenly Father now. The staff was incredibly wonderful to us and wow, what a hospital! 

The following weekend we went down to Cheyenne for an appointment with an eye specialist to see if anything could be done to improve Joe's eyesight.  That was a fun trip which ended with us almost being snowed in because of a blizzard.  Power was even cut at the motel and Joe and I had to huddle together in our bed until the power was restored.  3/18/11 FB: We're home...again. This time from Cheyenne. What a trip!. Got to the hotel last night and started having a mini blizzard. Went to eat and when we got back we couldn't find our hotel. The electricity had gone out to all the hotels in that area so it was total darkness. Great when temperature drops and you've no heat in your room for 2 hrs. eye specialist says most likely nothing can be done for Joe's eyes which is sad. However, he's being referred to one other specialist that may be able to do one other procedure in one eye so we'll have to wait and see what happens. 3/28/11 FB: Busy week upon us - dialysis, work @ temporary job, full-time job interview, dialysis, temporary job, "aggressive dialysis", temporary job, echo cardiogram, eye specialist (Joe losing more eyesight and the "aggressive" and extra dialysis and echo cardiogram are at the request of the Colorado transplant team).  3/31/11 FB:  Joe went for his 3rd "aggressive" dialysis in a row today and then for his echo cardiogram, so he's kinda wiped out. The results are being sent to Denver to the transplant team and hopefully this will be his last test and the results are good so he can be put on the kidney transplant list.  (Note:  Eventually Joe was denied being placed on the transplant list because of fluid around heart and lungs and too many other health complications).

APRil - The greatest thing that happened in April was that Joe FINALLY got out of the house! He started working as a volunteer at the local Senior Citizen's Center http://jocarweaver.blogspot.com/2011/04/back-in-saddle-again.html.  I was so happy for him! And then there were more doctor appointments, job interviews and a sleep study for Joe. 4/1/11 FB:  A blessed day. Joe went to eye specialist and had surgery done on his right eye with expectation that it will help him see better. No hope for left eye though.  4/23/11 FB:   Not a good day in dialysis for Joe. I think they drained him of everything. Poor guy had to be helped into car and house so he wouldn't fall over, not hungry, nauseous, headache and I've tucked him into bed. Called the center to see if anything unusual took place - they said no.  4/27/11 FB:  Joe is back in the hospital tomorrow - out patient for ANOTHER surgery on his arm where they are trying to do his dialysis. Hopefully third time will be the charm.  All went wonderfully well with Joe today...Joe did not have to have surgery on his arm (fistula). After numbing the area and shooting in some dye, apparently it did a self heal on itself. See prayers really do get answered! :)

MAY - We weren't able to make it back to Georgia this year for the family reunion.  With all of Joe's medical problems, I didn't feel it would be a wise decision and having lost a job had put a strain on our finances.  We did make our 3rd trip to Utah during the month and were thrilled to attend a performance of "Riverdance" in Casper.  A sad moment of the month though was the death of a dear friend who had been on my visiting teaching list since we'd moved to Casper.  Her death was unexpected and heart-breaking for me.  5/14/11 FB: What can I say about today? It was a sad day. It began with cold, sad weather and then receiving a call that saddened my heart. Found out that a friend of mine is now in hospice and not expected to live much longer. I was told, while conscious, that she asked for me and when I got the message and went to see her, she is no longer conscious. How do you tell a friend goodbye and that you want her to know that you loved her when she is already slipping away? How do you tell her that you will miss her smile, her laugh and her infectious personality? What an honor to know that she counted me among someone that she cared about. Lesson learned here...tell your friends, your family you love them whenever possible. We never know when that opportunity may no longer be an option.

JunE - June had us dust the snow off the car and head out for our first daycation of the year.  Joe also had to start bi-weekly physical therapy because of increased severe problems with balance and therapy.  All year long he'd been experiencing increased eye problems, memory and balance coordination.  His condition was described as "Parkinsonian like symptoms".  June also found me finally finding a full-time job working at a local RV dealership.  And, the kids came over from Utah for a great weekend visit with us!

jULy - We had company - Ally and Ryan came and spent July 4th weekend with us. The month was spent doing daycations in Nebraska and in Wyoming.  We had the usual doctor and therapy visits and celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary and my 59th birthday.  7/25/11 FB:  Hello hospital. It's been almost 7 months since we last visited. Poor Joe got whipped at dialysis today. Could hardly get him into the house but 45 mins later I did. Then things didn't improve so I called a friend to help me get him back into the car many minutes later. Dr. advised bringing him here to get more fluids. So here we sit, while one sits and one lies on that little skinny bed with an iv drip. We should go home, let me rephrase that we better go home tonight. Not starting this stuff again!!!

Got some 80 birthday wishes on Facebook alone today, plus phone calls and a surprise birthday party at the office.

aUGUst - More fun daycations, including going into Montana, but not a so great one when Joe had to be transported to the ER in Laramie because he kept passing out.  8/13/11 FB: We're home after our daycation to the mountains. Unfortunately we had to make a detour to an ER. In short, while some 40 miles away from a hospital, Joe got sick and we hightailed it out of the mountains. Had to call 911, deputy and ambulance met us outside of Laramie to get Joe and headed for ER. After a short stay, we got to leave - YAY! He had extremely high blood sugar and blood pressure as well as fell down and almost had seizure - don't know why, but he's much better now and we are home. Thankful toand we are home. Thankful to be here and grateful that all things fell into place to get him medical attention. Prayers are answered!  8/18/11 FB:It's official...Joe has a cracked rib from a fall over the weekend. Unfortunately nothing can be done other than rest, meds and ace bandage. There will be no daycation this weekend for us.    8/28/11 FB:  Update on Joe...his rib is doing better. Blood sugar still extremely high. Dialysis didn't go well two days last week, but he did sleep through the night for the first time in a long time last night.

My Aunt Erma died.  She was the wife of my Uncle Dave and was such a gentle, quiet lady whom I was always exited to see when they came to visit.  She will be missed.

SeptEMBer - I quit my job with the dealership.  I felt under so much pressure in my new job and medically Joe was declining again.  He was having problems walking, seeing, lots of cognitive problems, having lots of falls and it was like I was caring for a large two year old.  Joe had an appointment with a neurosurgeon who pronounced that Joe had been having a series of strokes and was most likely afflicted with vascular dementia.  9/3/11 FB:  Well we're off on an extended daycation to North and South Dakota in just a bit where it's now 46 degrees where we'll be spending the night. Here's hoping for a fun and medically uneventful time with my sweetie.  9/4/11 FB:  We're home - 860 miles later. Arrived to find dogs had gotten out of the yard and were returned by some nice person. Can mark visiting North Dakota off my list and don't plan on visiting again. Lunch in Rapid City, South Dakota before going to hang out with George, Thomas, Franklin and Abe at Mt. Rushmore. What a great trip, but so glad to be home.  9/6/11 FB:  things are changing for Joe :(. He got lost last night in the bedroom and couldn't find the bed even with the light on. I had to help him get there and crawl in. Then this morning, he forgot how to put on his shoes. Went to dr. for some tests today.  9/15/11 FB:  Weaver update...I've quit my job after 90 days. Too stressful for me most every day. Will work until time to fly to Georgia. Joe will be seeing a neurologist soon to hopefully determine cause(s) for memory loss problems he's been having. Taking each day one at a time cuz I sure can't think too much beyond that. So looking forward to spending time away from all this when we spend some time down south in about 20 days!  9/22/11 FB:  Joe's appointment with the eye doctor went wonderfully. His eyesight doesn't appear to have changed. Apparently his dialysis is just messing with his eyes from time to time. Doesn't mean it won't get worse.  But he is still very, very unsteady and that's the reason for the balance therapy.  9/28/11 FB:  My morning has started out with hearing Joe call my name. Got up and found him in the bathtub. Apparently he was drying off outside the tub, lost his balance and fell back into the tub. I finally got him out of the tub, but couldn't manage to maneuver him off the floor and he was too weak. So, I had to call 911 and ask them to please send help with no lights or sirens and six burly dudes showed up and got his little nekkid body off the floor.  9/29/11 FB:  So today...Joe thinks the bus forgot to pick him up @ the house. He goes and climbs in the bed, the bus shows up - no Joe. Door's open, house key on ground and walking stick halfway in and out. Driver knocks and yells - no Joe. She calls supervisor who comes and knocks and yells - no Joe. 20 mins. later they call police who find Joe just waking up. I get call from neighbor later that police have been at my home, I call house - no Joe answers, call where he was supposed to have been - no Joe. I leave work, hurry home and find him asleep again after everyone has left.

OCToBER - We finally made it home to Georgia the first week in October!!!  Joe had to be transported to the hospital in Tifton though when he had an apparent seizure.  He was also scheduled for a lumbar puncture (spinal tap) because it was determined that he had water on the brain.  I was back working at the insurance agency - with no benefits though.  10/23/11 FB:  Well the kids just left and took Blaze with them too. After 4 yrs. of caring for the granddog, it's unbelievably hard to see her ride away in the truck. What a wonderful weekend spent with kids. One of the best visits in quite awhile. It still hurts my mama heart when I see my son and his family leave. :(  10/18/11 FB:  Today was the day Joe went to the neurologist. In a nutshell...Joe does not have Alzheimer's; he has had several strokes and seizures and will be having a lumbar puncture (spinal tap) next week to drain fluid from his brain which may have been causing some of his mental/memory/balance problems. A shunt may have to be implanted if fluid returns. He may al...so have vascular dementia, but we won't know for sure until possibly after the procedure next week. Prayers and positive thoughts are welcome. It is such a relief to know that someone has finally validated what I've been seeing and what Joe and I have been living with - especially in the last three months. 10/29/11 FB:  Update on Joe. Went to pick him up from dialysis yesterday and we left an hour later. Just before he was supposed to leave, his blood pressure dropped dramatically, his fingernails and lips turned blue and skin was very cold. He was put on oxygen which helped and he was able to leave after dr. made arrangements for oxygen over the weekend at home. He's going in for a chest x-ray first thing Monday morning to see if that might help explain what happened.

NOVEMBER - Joe wound up in the ER and then in ICU with hydrocephalus for a week.  He had totally lost touch with reality and kept falling.  I was asked to bring his living will to the hospital and DNR was being discussed because the situation with Joe was very dire this time.  11/3/11 FB:  At hospital w/joe. i woke up hearing him keeping calling"dad, dad,dad". I went 2 check on him thinking he was dreaming, found him on floor totally scrambled. blood sugars ok, eyes glazed, slurred words and no oxygen in nose. wound up calling EMT's who said blood pressure very high which is total opposite of his normal.  Joe is now in ICU with drs. trying to find out what is going on. He may have hypertensive encephalopathy which I understand it is that high blood pressure is causing swelling on the brain. It was a strange day yesterday with two falls last night and then this trip to the hospital. He has no idea where he is and speaks with some foreign gibberish when he does speak.

FB Update on Joe...He has had an echo cardiogram done, a ventilation-perfusion scan (VQ) which is to look for evidence of a blood clot in the lungs. Waiting on those results. Will have a lumbar puncture (spinal tap) sometime today to relieve the brain of fluid. They are also inserting a PICC line which is a long, slender, small, flexible tube that is inserted into a vein in the upper arm and insert.

11/4/11 FB:  Joe got moved out of ICU. Shortly afterwards his blood pressure started going up again and they've just taken him in for a dialysis session hoping that it brings it down.  Joe is doing much better today and may even be moved out of ICU.   (Later) Still hooked up to blood pressure meds and won't have dialysis today as it would throw his bp out of whack. Dr. said Joe does have enlarged vessels in his brain which is causing the swelling and hopefully spinal tap will help/take care of problem when it's done soon. He has absolutely no memory of what has happened to him in the last couple of days which is probably very good.

ll/7/11 FB:  Better day today. Joe was taken to dialysis in the hospital very early this morning for 4 hours and was doing fine until he became nauseated in the afternoon. He's much better now and speaking and thinking much more clearly. They've removed the catheter much to his delight and started him on his "delicious pineapple flavored" gallon of prep for his colonoscopy for sometime tomorrow to determine cause of bleeding that started a couple of days ago. He just can't seem to get a break. But, I am encouraged with his mental and cognitive progress. I truly believe in the power of the priesthood and in the power of prayer from our many friends and family members. 

11/8/11 FB:  Daily Joe update...had colonoscopy done today. They discovered polyps and are doing biopsy. He's doing so good today - conversation and humor! I told the nurse to take away his phone for tonight though as he called me every hour last night/early morning. :) Makes getting a good nights sleep a little hard. If all goes well, he may be coming home tomorrow afternoon after a session of dialysis. 

11/10/11 FB:  Joe's home and doing wonderfully and miraculously great. I truly do see and feel the power of the knowledge of the medical personnel who attended him, as well as the priesthood blessing he received, the many, many prayers and good thoughts sent by awesome people known and unknown and most especially for the blessings and love of my Heavenly Father.

Joe became enrolled in an adult daycare setting because he cannot be left alone. Thanksgiving was a very low key day spent at home together with our own turkey dinner. I was asked to come back to work at the RV dealership on a part-time basis until the first of the year.  I went since the pay was so much better, the pace of work had slowed down and I felt I could handle it better this time.  I stayed until the last week of December when they let me go again.  We had more company from back east - Travis and Lindsea came and spent the night with us. The visit was too short! 

decEMBer - The month started out with a company Christmas dinner at a nice restaurant.  Great prime rib and it turned into a really snowy, snowy evening!  Joe was fitted with a tracking bracelet by the Emergency Management Office in case he would wander off anytime.  It'll go well with his Lifeline necklace in case he needs medical assistance and I wasn't around. 

Joe's behavior and mood had begun to change drastically.  He became very moody and disoriented and in his confused stupor, he told the dialysis social worker a number of things he shouldn't have.  One night we had an unexpected visit by two police officers to check on our welfare and then a visit from the state Department of Family Services social worker the next week.  I discovered the reason for his dramatic change - his anti-depression medical had been discontinued during his hospital stay and upon his return home - cold turkey and it shouldn't have been.  Once he was back on those meds, things returned to a better place. 

Trina's mom died...12/16/11 FB:  In fond memory of my Wyoming mom, Mother Mary, who passed away yesterday. She was one beautiful and loving person. One of my greatest blessings when I moved to Wyoming was working with and getting to know Trina and then having the opportunity to meet and know her mother. Mother Mary's hugs and kisses were the best and she loved and accepted me as one of her other kids. I will miss her deeply.  A week later 12/23/11 another friend - Jim Munger died.  Jim had briefly been my supervisor in the oilfield until he'd become ill a month before Joe's heart attack.  I spent time with his wife while he was in the hospital and she spent time with me when Joe was in the hospital.  This went back and forth until they moved last October.

We ended our year with a trip to Utah to spend Christmas with the kids.  Thank goodness the trip was totally uneventful!

The Heber Creeper Train

The day after Christmas, the kids, Derek and Joe and I went on a train ride.  We drove to Heber City and boarded the "Heber Creeper" so named because it creeps along the countryside.

Christmas 2011

The road heading out of Casper on Friday morning was glazed over and frozen with several inches of ice and snow.  The driving was like this most of the way until we finally hit the interstate.

The lovely decorated Preston Christmas tree.

Saturday morning I was getting myself and Joe ready so I could take him for his Saturday morning dialysis session in Provo.  While getting ready, Corey started reading me an article in The Tifton Gazette that had been sent to him over his cellphone.  Read below...
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TIFTON — You can count on Jim Cattell to read the Christmas Story as much as you count on Santa Claus to bring toys for good boys and girls tonight.

“My firm memory of doing this would be in Christmas 1960 when we lived in Virginia,” says Cattell, “but I also read it off and on during the early 1950s.”

This Christmas’ reading makes it at least the 51st time he’s told it to a hushed, special audience---his family.

Jim steps down from his living room to his bedroom, moves to the second rack of hanging clothes where a red vest stands out much like the bright star in the East on Christmas night. He gently removes the vest, makes his way back to the living room and puts it on over a white shirt and sits in his recliner.

The family of children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren eats another treat and gets ready to hear him read the story that never changes.

Most of the family lived in and around Tift County, but not anymore. A grandson lives in Seattle, Washington and won’t make it to the family’s gathering. Other family members missed some of the in-person readings over the years.

“I remember when I was pregnant and living in Illinois and couldn’t make it home for Christmas,” says his daughter, Susan. “I was alone and dad sent a note I read on Christmas Eve.”

The note drew a comparison between the Virgin Mary and Susan, both young, a little frightened and about to deliver a baby.

“I’ll never forget it,” says Susan with a quiver in her voice.

A dark blue, leather bound Bible sits between Jim and his wife, Hazel , who wears a red dress and smiles with anticipation. Papers stick out the top of the Bible, as Jim’s big hand gently moves it from the table to his lap.

“My eyesight has failed me, so excuse me for not directly reading it from the Bible. I can assure you these words are the right words,” says Cattell.

Yes, you certainly can.

The orange highlight used to make Christmas Story’s Bible verses standout have faded, much like his vision, but his Christmas Eve memories haven’t.

He recalls recording an audio tape of the Story when he served in Viet Nam. He knew the annual party would continue stateside as it was their tradition, but Susan wondered if this was the year her father break it.

“I remember mother surprising us by removing two tapes from a box on Christmas Eve. One tape was just for her and the other was the Christmas story dad had recorded,” says Susan.

Jim remembers vividly that year. It was 1970. He commanded a language school in Saigon and rented a hotel ballroom for his 125 troops to celebrate Christmas. Literally a few miles away, it looked as if a fireworks show was under way, but it wasn’t.

“The war was that close, right across the Saigon River,” says Jim.

That night he heard a few holiday partiers a few barracks down from his.

“We didn’t have widows, just netting,” says Jim. He heard Christmas music in the distance.

“Someone played a banjo and the guys were singing,” says Jim. “Here I was 10,000 miles away from my family. I’ll remember this until the day I die.”

Like then, separation from family at Christmas is becoming the norm, not the exception.

“Now the family has begun getting scattered away and larger,” says Jim who counts 19 grandchildren and 14 great-grandchildren, plus their four children.

He made a DVD of the Story to send to those who can’t make it this year and for the family’s history album, all because of a story he knows by heart because his heart believes it no matter what might separate them on Christmas Eve.
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As Corey was reading this to me, I was putting on my shoes.  At the conclusion, I made a comment like "Well, I see Susan managed to make it about her".  That is, what I recall, when Nikki lit into me about what I said.  "This story was supposed to be about Dad and a surprise to me.  I didn't get the message of the article.  Shame on me" and she went into tears.  Even Corey when a little crazy.  I tried to tell them they didn't know the story behind why I would say what I did.  It wasn't a surprise.  Susan had told me about it several weeks before.  In fact, Nancy had spoken to me about it also.  There was some disagreement between the two sisters as to whether Joe Courson should have even been asked to do this interview with Mom and Dad.  My understanding was that Nancy thought we should all remember how Dad looked and sounded in an earlier taped recording and not have him when he was much weaker and frailer.  I saw no problem with the new one since I didn't have a copy of any other reading at all.  Dad was even aware of all of this.  These discussions between the sisters and Dad had gone on for quite awhile.  But, it had been my understanding that all of us children would be asked for our impressions of the reading during an interview with Joe.  That never happened.  So, with Susan and her children being the only ones singled out with quotes and living locations AND her propensity for always seeking and wanting the limelight, that's why I made that comment.  I felt I was justified in saying what at that time - in the presence of my family, my son, my daughter-in-law, no other family member, but Nikki especially took issue to that.  In fact, she was so upset with me that she told me "why don't you just get your things and go home". 

I left immediately to take Joe to dialysis.  We discussed and debated about actually leaving and going home at the completion of his dialysis session.  Joe reminded me that this Christmas was about Derek and therefore, we should stay.  And, because of the text messages Corey kept sending asking me to please stay and not go home, we decided to stay.  It was a very strained weekend.

My joy came from seeing Derek and Corey open up their presents we had brought for them.  Nikki never expressed any joy or happiness for her gifts, but I'm hoping she enjoyed them.  They were items she had specially stated she wanted from a certain store and that's what we did.

This is the hat I bought from Corey when we made the trip back to Georgia in October.  Notice Joe's Elmo pants.

A gift from the kids for Joe.

Seeing his new bicycle from Papa Joe for the first time being wheeled into the living room.

It was a very strained weekend.  By far, it was one of the worst Christmases I can remember having. 

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Note:  Tomorrow is Easter.  I called today and spoke with Corey and told him that we were planning on coming for a visit during Memorial Day weekend.  That would be the first time we'd all gotten together since Christmas - 5 months later.  Doesn't appear to be happening though as they will be going out of town to pick up a dishwasher that weekend.  It's a shame to live only 8-9 hours away and still not be able to see each other.

Travis and Lindsea Came For A Visit

Travis and Lindsea came to see us on November 14th on their way to move to their new home and life in Washington State.  We were so excited to see them after so long of not seeing them.  Unfortunately, they got in late that evening and we had to head out to work the next morning and then they traveled on.  But, we'll always take what time we get to spend time with any family or friends who may come our way.

I had wanted to take a picture of the kids the night before when they arrived, but forgot to.  So, I took this one while they were still sleeping thinking they wouldn't be awake when we left that morning.

We got caught though getting ready to head out of the door and Lindsea took this picture of Travis, myself and Joe.

We came home that afternoon though to find these on our dining room table...

They are "Yeti" hats from Disneyworld.  Joe and I have gotten many comments and compliments when we wear them.  People have offered to buy them, like them, love them, smile at them, laugh at them.  I'll bet we are the only two people in Wyoming that probably have them!

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Picture of Papa Joe wearning his Yeti hat while in Utah for Christmas.