The Best Daughter-In-Law In The World

Tomorrow is Nikki's birthday.  Simply said, "I love Nikki".  I love her for so many reason...



I love Nikki first and foremost because she loves Corey.  And, Corey loves Nikki.  As his mom, I have seen young ladies come and go in his life, but I knew that when he met Nikki, he wanted her in his life.







I love Nikki secondly because she is the mother of my adorable grandson.  I have always loved her interaction with Derek and admired her nuturing abilities and the way that she cares for him.



I love her ability to care for her family through her resourcefulness, her cooking abilities, her housekeeping skills and so many, many other wonderful qualities she possesses.

I love her for her love and devotion to our Heavenly Father and love that she helps guide Corey and teaches Derek that same love.

I love Nikki because she is the daughter I never bore and she is everything I would ever have wanted in one.

Nikki

This is my beautiful daughter-in-law, Nikki. You know, the one with the gorgeous blue eyes and those cute dimples. This is my only daughter, Nikki. She loves my only child deeply and helps to make my most adorable grandchild with blue eyes and dimples.

Derek at Family Reunion...

in the beginning, hanging onto his mommy for a little reassurance. After all, there were LOTS of strangers around...

But then, it was time to start checking things out...

with his new buddy, Caitlin...

Then it was time to hang out with Daddy...

What a great looking family!!!

The Weekend Side Trip

No job hunting for me on Friday. I packed my suitcases and headed for Utah. It was a very, very long drive - especially when doing it by yourself - 8 hours long. But, it was well worth the drive! Why?

• I arrived in time to see Derek dressed up as the world's cutest lop-eared bunny and then we all went out to dinner.
• I got to be Grandma all by myself Saturday afternoon. Corey and Nikki went off to the temple with her family and so Derek and I had a great time together. He's so much fun to be with. Grandchildren are everything good and great that I'd been told about, but until you have one you just can't understand the difference between your child and your grandchild. I don't remember feeding and changing diapers being so much fun and later I got to spend some other time watching Derek get his bath.
• Sunday was such a relaxing day. It just cracks me up when attending church in "Mormonland". You can see the chapel from their townhouse - you could walk to church. And then, it's funny when attending sacrament meeting - so many kids!!! It sounded like a daycare center during the meeting Sunday due to all the little people there. I don't see how anyone could make a change though. That evening we spent a fun evening playing games and visiting with friends of Corey and Nikki.
• Nikki is a fantastic cook! I've never tasted anything she didn't make wonderfully well. Corey and Derek don't ever have to worry about starving to death as long as they live with her.
• It was just so nice spending time with my son and his family!!!

I'm so blessed to have them in my life. Thanks for a wonderful, relaxing weekend and here's to many more in the future.

It's Bedtime For Derek

Pre Wyoming Dinner

After finally getting everyone together and our luggage, we all went to dinner in Salt Lake. Joe and I were heading to Rawlins, Wyoming where we had reservations to spend the night, but we wanted to spend a little time together.

Meeting Derek - Part Two Six Months Later

It was our six months exodus to Utah and our chance to spend time with Derek again (and Corey and Nikki as well, of course).

On our trip west, Joe and I were on separate airlines obviously going separate ways. Why? Mine was a free ticket cashed in several months ago and Joe's was a purchased ticket several weeks later. I left Atlanta, flew to Phoenix and then on to Salt Lake City. That was after lots of turbulence, no free drinks or snacks and sitting through the "Incredible Hulk" as the featured movie. That is so hoaky! How can some guy split everything, including his underwear and then he somehow appears to always have another change of clothing available whenever needed. Really! I wonder about things like that. Hey, how 'bout some of the stuff they do on "Survivor"? Where do they use the bathroom? Do they use toilet paper or some banana leaves? What do the older women do about their "goat hairs" growing on their chins?

Anyway, I digress...Joe left Atlanta, flew to Minneapolis and then on to Salt Lake. (He got free drinks and snacks, by the way). I got there first, picked up the rental car and then waited in the "Park and Wait" for Joe and the kids. (That was after I circled the airport three times before I found the right entrance to the "Park and Wait". Hey, it was very confusing to get there. You'll see when you try it out one day! This is where you can park and watch the display boards which tell you where a flight is coming from, the number of the flight, if it has landed or still enroute and if you can pickup your passenger). I was sitting in my car reading my free "USA Today" when the kids appeared with the little guy. It was so strange seeing Derek this time after seeing him as a two month old the last time. When Joe called to say he had landed, the kids went to find Joe and his luggage and left me and Derek together. Waa hoo!




Isn't he adorable? Isn't he just the cutest grandchild ever? I think so!

And then Joe showed up after Nikki found him and his luggage.

Grandparent's Day

Sunday was celebrated as "Grandparent's Day". I realized when I woke up that this was my first one as a grandparent. I wondered how Derek will remember me when he is older. I wondered since I had such a strange relationship with my own grandparents. I know that unless Joe and I move closer to Derek, my relationship with him most likely won't be the way I'd love it to be.

I didn't know either set of my grandparents very well. In fact, my paternal grandmother was almost a mystery to me as I don't remember spending much time with her at all. My first memory of time with her wasn't until the time just before we moved to Japan in 1961. I remember her home in Missouri, I remember her living near railroad tracks and I remember attending Vacation Bible School at her church. (That is my first memory of any organized religion also). I remember her coming to visit us in Florida and visiting at the home in Brookfield. Other than that, I don't have many memories of her. I do remember that her looks never seemed to change and that she always seemed to be afraid to show affection. And, I don't remember my paternal grandfather at all since he died of back cancer when I was four?

I did spend more time with Grandmother and Granddaddy McGhee - mom's parents, but only because we had more opportunities to visit them from time to time. I even vaguely remember one of my great-grandmothers. Though I have memories of them, they are not all good ones. My first memory is being spanked with a switch from a tree by my granddaddy because I didn't want to carry a fish back to the house. I remember my Grandmother calling me "Caroline". I remember how she used to make homemade biscuits the same way morning after morning and how fascinating it was to watch how she did it. I remember walking out with out to the barn with her and watching how she milked the cows. That was always fascinating for me as a "city kid". She even let me try milking the cow. I remember her frying hog's brains with eggs for breakfast for my Granddaddy.

My funnest experience with Granddaddy was the time that he loaded me and bunch of my other cousins and sisters in the back of his pickup truck. He drove us down some old country, clay road which was very, very hilly and then floored it. The ride was fantastic! It was like our own personal roller coaster. Up and down the hills we went, hanging on to anything possible and squealing and screaming and Granddaddy giving us the ride of a lifetime. I look back at it now and wonder how we all survived. I remember Granddaddy feeding his fish in the pond with the leftover morning biscuits.

Corey has been lucky in one aspect of his life, I think. He's been able to establish a real, genuine relationship with him maternal grandparents. He's gotten to really know them, spend quality time with them and grow to love them. Unfortunately, that was not possible with his other grandparents. His other grandfather had long died and Les never really had much desire to return to Louisiana for visits. So Corey saw his Grandmother Nora when he was about two years old and when she came to visit us in Georgia when he was around 4.

Though Joe has four beautiful little granddaughters, he has only had limited access with them also. Their parents don't do anything to encourage a relationship. There are never telephone calls from the granddaughters to speak with their grandfather. If Joe sees them, it's because he makes the effort to fly and spend some time with them which is getting harder to do considering his health problems in the last couple of years. I've seen the hurt in his eyes.

So, I wonder from time to time what will be my own relationship with Derek? Thus far, I'm grateful and thankful that Corey and Nikki have tried to involve both Joe and I as much as possible. There are the phone pictures and videos which make us smile and laugh. There are the opportunities to listen to him on the telephone as he cries or laughs or coos. We look forward to our next visit with our grandson in about a month so that we can make new memories.

Three Months, Two Weeks, Six Days...

...that's how old Derek is today according to the fancy little counter widget I added to my blog some time ago. But then who's counting? ME! Days keep going by and recently I told Joe how much I miss not getting to spend time with Derek. I have felt such a strong longing to get to know my grandchild, but circumstances prevent that at this time. So, I am thrilled when I receive the newest, latest picture via my cell phone or the phone rings and in the background I hear either a cooing or crying little voice. Derek has fantastic parents though who do their best to keep Joe and me updated with the latest changes that are happening in their new lives.

It has been a little over a month since I last held him, but I can still remember how he felt when he snuggled up against my neck and the sweetness of his neck when kissed there. I've said I would give up chocolate permanently just to have the opportunity to kiss and hold him daily or at least on a regular basis. Most of my friends who have already experienced being a grandmother tried to warn me how grandchildren change your lives and your perception of children. They weren't kidding. One of the things that amazed me the most was watching my own child hold his child with the kind of love and affection that had for him. I loved watching the gentleness of Nikki and the look that would come over her face when talking to Derek or while she nursed him. I have no doubt that Derek is loved by him parents.

Yes, my ticket is booked for another flight to Utah in October, but by then Derek will be eight months old - no longer a small baby. Children grow so fast and I know he won't stay small for long. But, at least Joe and I had the opportunity to spend some time with him. I just know that I don't want the kind of relationship with Derek that Joe has with his granddaughters. For whatever reason they may have, Joe's children don't call him - he calls them when he wants to speak with them. And, never in the entire time since we've married has he ever received a phone call from any of his granddaughters to speak to "Grandpa". I cannot begin and don't want to imagine what that would be like. Not only would it be painful to bear, but I can only imagine the grief I would suffer. I know that I am so blessed with a loving son and a truly wonderful daughter who keep us involved as much as possible considering the distance.

My favorite memory with Derek thus far is the afternoon Mom, Joe and I got to babysit while Nikki went to work and before Corey came home. Nikki had put him down for his nap, but after she left he woke up crying not ready to settle down. I went upstairs, tried to calm him and eventually picked him up and rocked him in rocking chair in his room. What a feeling that was. Just him and me, alone and together. Even now thinking about it brings tears to my eyes as I remember the experience of looking into his face and realizing that he is a part of me; that part of me and my child was the next generation. I was as though time had reverted and I was looking into the face of Corey once again. But, I was looking into the face of my new grandson. If I could have frozen that moment in time I would have. I would have frozen it long enough to remember that moment for as long as I live. It's a difficult thing to explain and most likely understand unless you've been the parent of an only child and that child is not accessible to you on a regular basis.

I many times feel a small twinge of jealousy for Nancy as she has her grandchildren in close proximity and sees them on a regular basis. One day it will be time to make a change - just not now. For now it's important to me to be here and love my own parents for as long as possible. One day it will be time to make that move out West and when it is...Look out Corey and Nikki and Derek and whoever may have come along by that time. But until then, keep those pictures and phone calls coming!!! :)

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About the picture - I ran across this one tonight. It's me and when I turned it over it had my name and birthdate written on the back, as well as my age at the time. My age at the time is the same age as Derek is at this time. Maybe it's just me, but it sure favors a certain little baby living in Utah. What do you think?

Hmmmm....

I've always said that we go through phases in our lives - particularly women, I think. Mine were: childhood, teenaged years, college years and early jobs, my various career changes, marriage, motherhood, a single mother in midlife who went through divorce, another marriage, another career, becoming a grandmother, etc. Each life experience has left an indelible mark on my soul as well as a layer of memory. It's kind of like having a build up of sediment.

Someone once wrote that "we think that it's the big moments that define our lives - the wedding, the baby, the new house, the dream job. But really, these big moments of happiness are just the punctuation marks of our personal sagas. The narrative is written every day in the small, the simple, and the common. In your tiny choices, in these tiny changes. In the unconsidered. The overlooked. The discarded. The reclaimed."

Do you realize that there are only three ways to change how our life will go? That would be some type of crisis, chance or choice. My life at this exact moment is a direct result of choices I made somewhere in my life. That boggles my mind when I think about it. It was a family crisis that brought me to Shreveport, Louisiana, chance that Les lived next door and we were introduced and a choice that I made to marry him. Then once again, years later, it was a crisis (divorce), a chance meeting on the internet that caused Joe to find and woo me and my choice to marry him from all the men I met during that time.

Would I do things differently if I knew then what I know now? Certainly not! I would not be where I am now without having had those experiences. I would not have you, Corey, I would not have Nikki or Derek. I would not have Joe. And, how empty my life would be without any or all of you. No matter how painful some memories may be, there were also wonderful memories that kept me alive or I wouldn't be here today. Someone once wrote "The past is not only that which happened, but also that which could have happened, but did not." Think about that.

Thanks to Nikki...

she unwittingly created a monster. At the end of last year, Nikki said she was going to begin a blogspot so that everyone could keep up with the new baby and their family. I thought what a great idea! Maybe I'd also start one to write about myself so that maybe my own son (and daughter-in-law) might find out more about his mother, that my future grandchildren would have the opportunity of reading things about their parents, their grandparents and even their great-grandparents.

Years ago, I bought a book for my parents entitled "Reflections from a Mother's/Father's Heart" hoping they'd fill it out so that my family and I could discover interesting things about them. I'm still waiting and with the daily passage of time, the prospects aren't looking any better for them to return the book with completed entries. So, when it comes to blogging, I think of it as electronic journal keeping for me and my posterity. It's a way of my getting thoughts and feelings out - it's almost like there is a sense of urgency to express myself as soon and as often as possible. There are so many things I want to record and there seems to not be enough time. Maybe it's because I see the failing health of both Mom and Dad in these past few months. I realize that life is fragile and we are not guaranteed life will be the same for us tomorrow that it might have been for us today. I also realize that no matter what I try to accomplish in life, I wonder if there is something I should be doing? Is there something I'm missing? There are things that I would like to record, but won't and can't since this is after all an open forum for others to read. And, there are things best not spoken either aloud or "on paper" that might diminish my standing with those I love.

I find it very therapeutic to write - especially late at night before going to bed. Years ago for mental therapy I used to do counted cross-stitch (eyesight is too bad to try it anymore), make, paint and create one-of-a-kind wood crafts, antiqued dolls, etc. (Too much space and lack of time for those anymore). Reading isn't working either as I can't seem to get engrossed in any particular book - I don't even have time to read magazines. I've got some of them laying around with the plastic covers still intact. So, now that I've created my own personal musical playlist, I can sit here almost nightly recording my thoughts, with Joe snoring in the next room until he comes to remind me that I have to come to bed. And, reluctantly I leave until my next opportunity. So, just remember Joe, it's all Nikki's fault (thank you Nikki).