Grandparent's Day

Sunday was celebrated as "Grandparent's Day". I realized when I woke up that this was my first one as a grandparent. I wondered how Derek will remember me when he is older. I wondered since I had such a strange relationship with my own grandparents. I know that unless Joe and I move closer to Derek, my relationship with him most likely won't be the way I'd love it to be.

I didn't know either set of my grandparents very well. In fact, my paternal grandmother was almost a mystery to me as I don't remember spending much time with her at all. My first memory of time with her wasn't until the time just before we moved to Japan in 1961. I remember her home in Missouri, I remember her living near railroad tracks and I remember attending Vacation Bible School at her church. (That is my first memory of any organized religion also). I remember her coming to visit us in Florida and visiting at the home in Brookfield. Other than that, I don't have many memories of her. I do remember that her looks never seemed to change and that she always seemed to be afraid to show affection. And, I don't remember my paternal grandfather at all since he died of back cancer when I was four?

I did spend more time with Grandmother and Granddaddy McGhee - mom's parents, but only because we had more opportunities to visit them from time to time. I even vaguely remember one of my great-grandmothers. Though I have memories of them, they are not all good ones. My first memory is being spanked with a switch from a tree by my granddaddy because I didn't want to carry a fish back to the house. I remember my Grandmother calling me "Caroline". I remember how she used to make homemade biscuits the same way morning after morning and how fascinating it was to watch how she did it. I remember walking out with out to the barn with her and watching how she milked the cows. That was always fascinating for me as a "city kid". She even let me try milking the cow. I remember her frying hog's brains with eggs for breakfast for my Granddaddy.

My funnest experience with Granddaddy was the time that he loaded me and bunch of my other cousins and sisters in the back of his pickup truck. He drove us down some old country, clay road which was very, very hilly and then floored it. The ride was fantastic! It was like our own personal roller coaster. Up and down the hills we went, hanging on to anything possible and squealing and screaming and Granddaddy giving us the ride of a lifetime. I look back at it now and wonder how we all survived. I remember Granddaddy feeding his fish in the pond with the leftover morning biscuits.

Corey has been lucky in one aspect of his life, I think. He's been able to establish a real, genuine relationship with him maternal grandparents. He's gotten to really know them, spend quality time with them and grow to love them. Unfortunately, that was not possible with his other grandparents. His other grandfather had long died and Les never really had much desire to return to Louisiana for visits. So Corey saw his Grandmother Nora when he was about two years old and when she came to visit us in Georgia when he was around 4.

Though Joe has four beautiful little granddaughters, he has only had limited access with them also. Their parents don't do anything to encourage a relationship. There are never telephone calls from the granddaughters to speak with their grandfather. If Joe sees them, it's because he makes the effort to fly and spend some time with them which is getting harder to do considering his health problems in the last couple of years. I've seen the hurt in his eyes.

So, I wonder from time to time what will be my own relationship with Derek? Thus far, I'm grateful and thankful that Corey and Nikki have tried to involve both Joe and I as much as possible. There are the phone pictures and videos which make us smile and laugh. There are the opportunities to listen to him on the telephone as he cries or laughs or coos. We look forward to our next visit with our grandson in about a month so that we can make new memories.