It's 2012

I can't believe it's already seven days into the new year.  So much for starting those new plans and resolutions at the beginning of the year.  I'll just justify that by saying I'm doing more contemplating and pondering on how to implement the ones I want to keep and how to rationalize getting rid of the ones that I'm probably going to wimp out on anyway. 

A new year is supposed to be a sign of promise, of hope.  I know that hope won't come from focusing on the uncertain nature of either Joe's or my daily situations.  The truth is, that it is possible to find hope if I trust in the generosity of life - my Heavenly Father, my family, my friends.  Not that I can expect any particular outcome just because I want it.  But I can expect to find help and understanding in every situation I face, now matter how difficult the circumstances may seem, IF I am aware of and ask for that help and understanding.  My dad tells me all the time to "stop denying others their blessings from service.  I don't have to do everything myself". 

At the beginning of the new year I've always tried to determine what my "word of the year" will be.  Let's just take stock of previous years before announcing this year's new word, huh?

2009 - Adjustment - To see what my impending adjustments were anticipated to be, you can go to the article and read about it and see how it all turned out - http://jocarweaver.blogspot.com/2010/01/my-word-for-this-year-is.html.

2010 - Patience - http://jocarweaver.blogspot.com/2011/01/word-of-year-2011.html.  Hmm, still need to work on that one.

2011 - Joy - How'd that work out for me?  By and large not too good at all!  Thank goodness 2011 is over and done with.  Now it's time to move on to my new word for 2012...(drum roll)

And the word is CHANGE! (Please no alluding to President Obama's campaign slogans)!  The definition of change in my situation is...

1. The act, process, or result of altering or modifying (I want at least one hour of quiet time alone in the morning.  I can spend that time reading and/or doing some exercise without having to attend to Joe.  I want to read a book, a magazine, anything!  I want to be able to have Joe tucked into bed by 10:00 each night so that I can finish up my day with at least one hour of quiet time to reflect on the day by blogging or reading).: a change in facial expression.  (I want to smile more and really mean it).

2. The replacing of one thing for another (changing up routines at home, i.e., spending so much time with Joe and not spending alone time for me at the computer.  I want to get back to blogging on a regular basis.  I want to get my book project completed by Christmas this year.; substitution: a change of atmosphere (a new job with benefits that will work with me when Joe has medical commitments).

3. A transformation or transition from one state, condition, or phase to another (I want to continue to stay one step ahead of Joe's needs so that I don't continue to feel like his mother or his maid.  I want to find and experience more love for him).

4. Something different; variety. ( I want to be able to attend a class or go to a meeting or have lunch with a friend without feeling guilty). 

So, let's get back together again at the beginning of 2013 and see if I was fortunate enough to have accomplished what I wanted to this year.

Word of the Year 2011?

For the past two or three years, several of us family members have selected our own special "Word of the Year". Last year my word was "Patience". I wrote...

"I chose this word because of continued changes that are occurring in my life mainly because of Joe. Joe continues to experience health problems and they seem to be occurring more often. He is now putting eye drops in his eyes for glaucoma and his eyesight is slowly failing. He continues to experience problems with keeping his blood sugar under control which still creates problems with his kidneys. If the truth were known, I could start at the top of his cute fuzzy head down to his eight toes and point out problems along the way. Because I'm gone so much of the day and Joe is left on his own, this causes a great deal of stress on me from time to time. And, I don't see this getting any better. So, patience is the perfect word for me this year:

1. Patience to understand how Joe feels and have more compassion for him.
2. Patience with Joe when he doesn't do as I think he should or as quickly as I think he should. 3. Patience with getting things done when I want them done as they relate to myself.
4. Patience to deal with the changes in Joe's health.
5. Patience to deal with the changes I'm beginning to experience.
6. Patience to understand that things don't happen just because I want them to. I'm sure there are more instances where patience comes into play in my life other than waiting in lines or waiting on paydays or the regular day-to-day occurrences. I just want patience and I want it now!!!"

I didn't do a very good job with my "patience" word last year. In fact, I could use the same word again, but I'll just add another word to it.

My word for 2011 is "Joy". I want this year to be a happier year for Joe and I. I want us both to find something to be joyous about every day. The definition of "joy" is:

1. a deep feeling or condition of happiness or contentment
2. something causing such a feeling; a source of happiness
3. an outward show of pleasure or delight; rejoicing

Wouldn't it be great if we could all find joy each and every day. After all, our Heavenly Father said "Men are that they might have joy". I have found joy thus far this year because of the kindness and generosity of neighbors, strangers and friends. I've found joy in that Joe's health has thus far been manageable - his blood sugar seems to be more manageable, he's had fewer doctor appointments, the dialysis process is getting easier to accept. I've found joy in my work in that my supervisor and co-workers seem to appreciate my work. I'm finding more joy in my marriage in that the stress of last year seems to be easing off. I'm finding joy in being able to do things I've wanted to do.

2011 is off to a good joyous start.