Change

I was in the process of cleaning out old email files today when I ran across what appears to be my last talk given in Sacrament Meeting in Tifton. It applied then and it applies now...

One of the most inevitable aspects of our lives here upon the earth is change. At one time or another we’ve all heard some form of the familiar adage: “Nothing is as constant as change.” I, on the other hand, like to use voice from time to time that I would like to have a normal life; that I would like to be like normal people. However, I have discovered that the only thing normal in life is the setting on a clothes dryer.

Throughout our lives, we must deal with change. Some changes are welcome; some are not. There are changes in our lives which are sudden, such as the unexpected passing of a loved one, an unforeseen illness, the loss of a possession we treasure. But most of the changes take place subtly and slowly.

This week I have been reflecting back on my days here in the Tifton Ward.

Ÿ 1965 while visiting grandparents
Ÿ Expansion of chapel - branch to ward
Ÿ Newlywed
Ÿ Various callings
Ÿ New mother
Ÿ Divorce
Ÿ New marriage
Ÿ People who have been born and died

Day by day, minute by minute, second by second we went from where we were to where we are now. The lives of all of us, of course, go through similar alterations and changes. The difference between the changes in my life and the changes in yours is only in the details. Time never stands still; it must steadily march on, and with the marching come the changes.

This is our one and only chance at mortal life—here and now. The longer we live, the greater is our realization that it is brief. Opportunities come and then they are gone. I believe that among the greatest lessons we are to learn in this short sojourn upon the earth are lessons that help us distinguish between what is important and what is not. I plead with you not to let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and nonexistent future when you will have time to do all that you want to do. Instead, find joy in the journey—now.

If you have children who are grown and gone, in all likelihood you have occasionally felt pangs of loss and the recognition that you didn’t appreciate that time of life as much as you should have. Of course, there is no going back, but only forward. Rather than dwelling on the past, we should make the most of today, of the here and now, doing all we can to provide pleasant memories for the future.

If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly-cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled will disappear all too soon and that you will—to your surprise—miss them profoundly. My Dad has a saying which is…100 years from now, you’ll never know the difference.

Les’ death - missing out on opportunities with Corey and Derek

Stresses in our lives come regardless of our circumstances. We must deal with them the best we can. But we should not let them get in the way of what is most important—and what is most important almost always involves the people around us. Often we assume that they must know how much we love them. But we should never assume; we should let them know.

Send that note to the friend you’ve been neglecting; give your child a hug; give your parents a hug; say “I love you” more; always express your thanks. Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved. Friends move away, children grow up, loved ones pass on. It’s so easy to take others for granted, until that day when they’re gone from our lives and we are left with feelings of “what if” and “if only.” Said author Harriet Beecher Stowe, “The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.

Grateful for friends and family that have supported me in my lifetime.

A friend gave me a little plaque one day which said…

“When one door closes, another opens; (but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us).” Alexander Graham Bell

Gratitude for:

Power of prayer
Priesthood blessings
Principle of tithing
Opportunities to serve
Compassionate service of friends

I hope that my neighbors will look upon me as a good example of the Church and what it means to be a good person.

Let us relish life as we live it, find joy in the journey, and share our love with friends and family. One day each of us will run out of tomorrows.

God Be With You Till We Meet Again

Change

This morning while listening to General Conference on our computer, Thomas S. Monson, our beloved prophet spoke about "change". When I heard that I really perked up because it was as though he was going to speak directly to me. After all, I seem to be the queen of change and I'm just about tired of it!

Change: To alter; to make different; to cause to pass from one state to another; as, to change the position, character, or appearance of a thing; to change the countenance.
To alter by substituting something else for, or by giving up for something else; as, to change the clothes; to change one's occupation; to change one's intention.

I've had major changes in my life in the last couple of weeks - the most serious being a loss of my job. That change alone has caused other changes - my routine, time spent with Joe, my schedule, time spent looking for other employment, etc.

Realizing change has already begun AGAIN for me doesn't make it any easier. I am not stupid and realize every day brings change in one way or another. However, there are those monumental changes which take place that sometimes we do or do not have control over and every once in a while we get the chance to sit back and reflect about those changes. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I had traded one change for another? If we could go back and change something that happened in our past, would we? Even if it was something bad or terrible, would you really want to change it? And, if you did what would be the results? Would our life be any better? Would we have made it worse?

There's a movie that came out 10 years ago called "Sliding Doors". It's about how the life of a woman could change just because she didn't make it through a door at a certain time. Think of all the "what if's" you've had in your life. Mine might be:

(1) What if Les had never lost his job after 19 years? Would he still be at Union Camp and would we still be married? He most likely would not have made a change of a job in Cordele and met the other woman.

(2) What if I'd never gotten divorced from Les? I might never have met Joe. I would certainly miss him now since he's come into my life.

(3) What if I'd never met Les in that chance encounter in Louisiana many years ago? I would never have had Corey and Nikki and Derek.

(4) What if I'd never met Joe by our chance Internet encounter? What if I'd chickened out the day we were to meet? (I almost did).

So, change affects our lives daily. You never know when a chance encounter with a person might change your life. For example, when last unemployed, I met an attorney friend I'd not seen in years. After exchanging pleasantries, he asked what I was doing, I told him I was unemployed and he suggested checking out COI which had not been advertised with openings. I did and the rest is history. I got the job - for only seven months, but it was some of the luckiest seven months of my life. I learned new skills, met fantastic people I'd never have met and I developed at least one relationship that I would never have had.

So yes, I've certainly had many changes and I seem to be at the threshold of many more. We leave to go to Utah this week and we'll be taking a side trip to Wyoming to job search. Now I'm beginning to realize that life could take a drastic change for me in the next week or two. I have a couple of job interviews set up in Casper. I'm beginning to think...

What if they offer me a job? What do I do? Do I say yes? I have a home back in Georgia. What do I do with our home? I can't sell it in the next couple of weeks, or months or whenever. I can't afford two mortgages. Where do we live? How much does it cost to live out there? What do I do to get from here to there? Why am I doing all this? Isn't it just easier to keep looking for a job here? Can I hang in there until something comes along? Is this the Lord's way of say MOVE? (After all, this is my second job loss in a year).

Then there are the other questions regarding possible change...Am I ready to move from this area after 30 years? Can I go off and leave my mom and my dad? Can I give up the network of love and support I have from family and friends?

I certainly don't know the answers to these questions. I can only know that I make my decisions on a daily basis one step at a time. I don't know what my Heavenly Father has in store for me and Joe. He has a plan for me and all I can do is be as ready and willing as possible knowing that prayer and blessings will help and comfort me.