Change

This morning while listening to General Conference on our computer, Thomas S. Monson, our beloved prophet spoke about "change". When I heard that I really perked up because it was as though he was going to speak directly to me. After all, I seem to be the queen of change and I'm just about tired of it!

Change: To alter; to make different; to cause to pass from one state to another; as, to change the position, character, or appearance of a thing; to change the countenance.
To alter by substituting something else for, or by giving up for something else; as, to change the clothes; to change one's occupation; to change one's intention.

I've had major changes in my life in the last couple of weeks - the most serious being a loss of my job. That change alone has caused other changes - my routine, time spent with Joe, my schedule, time spent looking for other employment, etc.

Realizing change has already begun AGAIN for me doesn't make it any easier. I am not stupid and realize every day brings change in one way or another. However, there are those monumental changes which take place that sometimes we do or do not have control over and every once in a while we get the chance to sit back and reflect about those changes. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I had traded one change for another? If we could go back and change something that happened in our past, would we? Even if it was something bad or terrible, would you really want to change it? And, if you did what would be the results? Would our life be any better? Would we have made it worse?

There's a movie that came out 10 years ago called "Sliding Doors". It's about how the life of a woman could change just because she didn't make it through a door at a certain time. Think of all the "what if's" you've had in your life. Mine might be:

(1) What if Les had never lost his job after 19 years? Would he still be at Union Camp and would we still be married? He most likely would not have made a change of a job in Cordele and met the other woman.

(2) What if I'd never gotten divorced from Les? I might never have met Joe. I would certainly miss him now since he's come into my life.

(3) What if I'd never met Les in that chance encounter in Louisiana many years ago? I would never have had Corey and Nikki and Derek.

(4) What if I'd never met Joe by our chance Internet encounter? What if I'd chickened out the day we were to meet? (I almost did).

So, change affects our lives daily. You never know when a chance encounter with a person might change your life. For example, when last unemployed, I met an attorney friend I'd not seen in years. After exchanging pleasantries, he asked what I was doing, I told him I was unemployed and he suggested checking out COI which had not been advertised with openings. I did and the rest is history. I got the job - for only seven months, but it was some of the luckiest seven months of my life. I learned new skills, met fantastic people I'd never have met and I developed at least one relationship that I would never have had.

So yes, I've certainly had many changes and I seem to be at the threshold of many more. We leave to go to Utah this week and we'll be taking a side trip to Wyoming to job search. Now I'm beginning to realize that life could take a drastic change for me in the next week or two. I have a couple of job interviews set up in Casper. I'm beginning to think...

What if they offer me a job? What do I do? Do I say yes? I have a home back in Georgia. What do I do with our home? I can't sell it in the next couple of weeks, or months or whenever. I can't afford two mortgages. Where do we live? How much does it cost to live out there? What do I do to get from here to there? Why am I doing all this? Isn't it just easier to keep looking for a job here? Can I hang in there until something comes along? Is this the Lord's way of say MOVE? (After all, this is my second job loss in a year).

Then there are the other questions regarding possible change...Am I ready to move from this area after 30 years? Can I go off and leave my mom and my dad? Can I give up the network of love and support I have from family and friends?

I certainly don't know the answers to these questions. I can only know that I make my decisions on a daily basis one step at a time. I don't know what my Heavenly Father has in store for me and Joe. He has a plan for me and all I can do is be as ready and willing as possible knowing that prayer and blessings will help and comfort me.