Diary Diddle - June 3

Tuesday - 1969

The packers were at the house when I came home from last day of school.  I went outside and took a nap under the trees.  Later Dad took us girls to the Guest House.  I went down to the beach.  We went and got something to eat and then went to the Gulf.  After eating I went wading and saw the gulls and sun going down.  It was beautiful.

By Love Possessed

Good Housekeeping, August 1952 said..."Your possessions express your personality.  Few things, including clothes, are more personal than your cherished ornaments.  The pioneer women, who crossed a wild continent clutching their treasures to them, knew that a clock, a picture, a pair of candlesticks, mean home, even in the wilderness."

When I read this I thought about when we made the move here to Wyoming.  The move was difficult in one way in that I had lived in the same home for nearly 30 years.  I had moved there as a newlywed, brought a new baby into the home and raised him there, I had assembled furniture and pictures and possessions that fit into each and every room. After the divorce, I did have to make other changes inside and outside the house for maintenance and structural prevention as I was starting a new phase of my life.  For nearly 30 years, I had accumulated many, many items nevertheless and many had some type of story as to its possession.

More changes came when Corey decided it was time to leave his home and then Joe came along, we married and his things started coming in.  At one time, the living room was made virtually impassable because of the moving in and moving out occurring about the same time.

Then came the big move.  Because we were forced to make the move from Georgia to Wyoming so quickly, I didn't have the opportunity to carefully and selectively decide what I really wanted to keep and what I really needed to give away.  Because of the time factor, so many things just left and there was no chance to really savor decisions.  Furniture was given away, antiques were passed on, cherished mementos were entrusted to others, while some things were made presents and gifts.  Some items are being stored without the assurance that I will ever be able to have them back in my possession.  Helpful people came on a daily basis and just went to packing and I found I'd lost control.  This was made abundantly clear when items such as old pillows and trash were opened during the unpacking stage.

I find myself on occasion wondering whatever happened to...the jewelry box I got for my 12th birthday while living in Japan?  Whatever happened to the picture taken of Corey helping out during a presidential stopover? Whatever happened to my collection of rocking horse Christmas ornaments?  Whatever happened to the slides of Les' family members?  Whatever happened to so many other things?  I know they are only things and if my home had been hit by a tornado like the recent ones in the news, I could have lost it all and had no control about what would happen to my possessions. 

I know that my possessions do not define me as a person, that it's my personality, it's my wits, it's how I view life on a daily basis.  It's my spirit of adventure, it's my present home and my family and the relationship I have with my sweet husband.  So, yes, I do understand to an extent how the pioneer women felt when they clutched something that reminded them of home.  And, yes, I will admit that the simplifying of my life with less things has been rather exhilarating at times.

Diary Diddles- May 27

Tuesday - 1969
Mom, Dad and Jimmy leave tomorrow for Georgia.  Jimmy's going to stay at grandmother's house till we move.  Dave gave me $10.00 and the car.  Mom gave me a bunch of work instructions and TV dinners.  Most of my drawers are empty as is most of the house. 
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Note:  Wow, $10.00 must really have gone a long way back in 1969!

Day 5...And Counting

My morning started off with a visit to the doctor's office. I had two cortisone shots - one in each knee and had to have fluid drained from my right knee first. It's amazing how I realize that my breathing virtually stops when I am receiving a shot and I also realized that me right leg could have doubled for a park bench as it was straight and rigid. However, the doctor did such as FANTASTICAL job giving me the shots and doing the draining that it was the best non-hurting cortisone shot (maybe any shot) ever given to me. I just had to give him a kiss on the cheek when he finished!

It feels as though we are finally making some progress in the house. I basically got the office packed up today and now there is a slight echo since all the acoustical materials have been removed off the wall. No more shelves, no more loaded shelves, no pictures, etc. Then I started on cleaning out furniture in the bedroom this evening as a couple of pieces of furniture are leaving tomorrow.

Just so you know, in case you have to do it someday, packing up and moving is very, very stressful. It just seems that Joe and I don't have fun any more. We don't laugh any more. There doesn't seem to be time or energy to do it and I know this needs to change. Maybe the drive out west will help. Maybe it will help restore our fun sides. I hope so, just so we can enjoy each others company again like we should and do.

Day 6...And Counting

Today was the day that Joe was supposed to have his "tummy worm" removed. The doctor's office called before 10:30 this morning to let us know that the doctor was running late. The appointment was rescheduled for 2:30 p.m. We stopped packing, got ready and made the trip into town. After waiting for over an hour, Joe was finally seen by the doctor. However, they'd only wanted to check his healing around the catheter and had no plans at all to remove it today. Somewhere (over some 6 weeks ago) someone had definite miscommunication problems by telling Joe the surgery would take place today. So, we'll have to wait until we move and find a doctor there who can do the surgery. Goody, goody!!!

I woke up this morning with a terrific headache. I think it was just thinking about all the continued packing and sorting that had to get done today. I think the items are procreating while Joe and I are sleeping!!! I know LOTS of things have left this house, but it doesn't seem like we're making too much progress. I also got the entire office cleared and cleaned out today. Tomorrow should finish that and then it's on to the bedroom so that pieces of furniture there can be taken out on Friday.

Nikki calls me a couple of times each day to check on my progress since she's doing the same thing - moving this week. We try to outdo each other as to who has it worse. She seems to win when she throws in the "I've got a baby to care for while packing" sympathy angle. I use the "been living here 30 years and only have 13 days total to pull this all together" approach. I think we both come out about even. Just think, we'll both have new homes to show off when we visit later on.

On the job front, no changes on my new job. However, I did get a phone call from the University of Wyoming in Laramie wanting me to interview for a job. So sorry, but I missed out on that one. It would have been a great job too, but I didn't really want to move to Laramie.

Time to partake in some body rejuvenating time with the anticipation of more packing tomorrow.

Day 7...And Counting

Well it's almost to the end of another day for me and I really don't feel that much progress has been made today. That's really sad and bad since we'll be gone by this time next week. I need a whole day home by myself and I think I could make a lot of progress...good luck on that one Carol!!! We did go have lunch with Mom and Dad today at The Wall, along with the missionaries, the Bishopric and Sister Bishop and other family members. It was bittersweet since that may have been the last time to eat with Mom and Dad for awhile. I hugged Katie and Chaing goodbye when we left. They've always been so sweet to us by sending a container of Mei Fun home when we went home.

I'll be taking Joe to the doctor tomorrow for his removal of the catheter tomorrow morning and that will impede progress again. I'm planning on taking Joe to Mom and Dad's to keep him out of the way for awhile at least.

It seems that I spent most of the day sorting through things. That is very time consuming but since we may be limited on space, I don't want to take more than necessary. I went through some of Corey's things that had been stored in the attic - Boy Scout items, old t-shirts, Legos, Teddy Ruxpin (but he won't be going since his mouth fell off), etc. Then there was an old box full of things of mine primarily from the 70's - old checks and statements, old love letters to Les, pictures of family members who look much, much younger, pictures of old boyfriends, etc. Lots of these things will great blogs some time in the future.

The Ritchie's came by tonight and brought some homemade cinnamon rolls and "Ritchie Rolls". Thank you! The were soooo good.

Oh, I also received an email from my future boss lady. I share it with you ...

Carol,
Looking forward to having you...provided you pass all the details with flying colors!
Bring warm clothes! You may need them by Dec. 1, but it is close to 60 out here today! (this is unusual!)

Once I get confirmation that you passed from Corporate - I will meet you at 5:30 a.m. in the Cottonwood Parking Lot on Monday, December 1, 2008. You will see all our pick ups backed into a line in the parking lot area. There will be others around that meet there too. Just ask for me or Kevin Cannon, whom you met, if you arrive before I do.

You can ride with me that day to the field. Hope you have a 4 wheel or all wheel drive vehicle however, as I do not always go to the field due to meetings, etc. so as we discussed during your interview you may have to drive yourself on numerous occasions. I have 2 other employees who go to the field as well so carpooling is always an option - provided they don’t have meetings back in town too. We always know each other’s schedule so this won’t be a hard thing to accomplish.
Thanks and have a safe trip to your new home!

If you have any questions, just call my office cell.

You know what this means?!?! I'll be getting up at 4:00 a.m. to go to work every morning. Now I know why we only work four days a week. But hey, just think of the fun, exciting work.

BTW - Georgia is having sympathy pains for us since we're moving to cold and windy Wyoming. It's doing the same thing here today and the temperature is supposed to drop to about 24 degrees tonight. Brrrrr!

Day 8...And Counting

I've come to the absolute conclusion that I am old!!!! I'm so sore and can't seem to move very fast these days. Hmmmm, maybe it has something to do with climbing up and down attic steps and carrying, moving, pushing and dragging items all around the house? I know I sleep very well until I wake up and then start thinking of all the things that need to be done.

I did have a pleasant visit with an old friend today while running errands. I needed to go by my attorney's office for some unfinished business and saw Render for the first time in awhile. That's good when you don't need to see your attorney, but bad because he is such a sweetie. I remember the first time I met him. I walked into his office after being referred to him by a friend and he handled my divorce from Les. When I first laid eyes on him I just knew he was not old enough to be an attorney and he looked just like a Mormon missionary. However, he proved to be very qualified to handle my legal matters and I grew to love him. One day he mentioned he was looking for someone to care for his young children and that's when I recommended Helen and the rest is history. She became almost a member of their family even after she became pregnant. Then when Nikki moved to town she needed a job and wound up working for Render. And other members of my family used him for legal matters and consequently he got to know my family VERY WELL! Poor man. Anyway, it was great visiting with him today and we discovered he too has a blogspot and I've plugged him in to ours.

Though more items left the house today, it doesn't seem like we're making too much headway packing up. It will truly be a miracle to get this all taken care of in time. We went by today to look at the size of the truck we've rented and we may have to attach a trailer to the truck! People have come and gone today with trucks loaded down or trailers strapped with goodies.

Our sweet neighbor, Ann Johnson, took Joe and I to dinner tonight. She has been my neighbor since I moved here as a new bride and is like a member of my family. She made the comment tonight that we won't be here to go look at the Christmas lights together this year. In recent years, we've made it a tradition to get Mom and the four of us together (remember Joe) to go exploring and looking at the lights. The funnest time we had was the year Corey took us. (That's a whole different story for another time). Ann still talks about that night/morning adventure. I am really going to miss her as I know she will miss us.

The best thing today though was receiving written confirmation that I have indeed been hired for the job in Casper. I was beginning to doubt if I had actually been hired since I saw nothing in writing. Yeah!!!! And, the house is supposed to be ready and waiting for us upon our arrival next week. Here's hoping all continues to go smoothly.

Kudos To Friends and Family

Because of the move, we are doing MAJOR reduction of items we have in our home. If it were up to Joe we'd be doing much, much more but, that ain't happening. He's telling everyone that all he's allowed to take is what fits inside a sandwich bag. Sounds good to me!

Anyway, we've lost furniture of all types; 20+ years of accumulated child care items; antiques of all kinds; books - novels, cookbooks, church books, research, magazines; all my craft supplies; and items that I never expect to ever accumulate in my life time. I've been very selective about many of the items and where they are going. It's almost like I've been adopting out these items to people to who they would be compatible. I know that may sound strange, but I want comfort in knowing that they would be appreciated as much as I've enjoyed them. Shelves have disappeared that used to cover the walls of my office and the front room and now the rooms seem larger and there is the beginning sound of an echo. Floors that use to be visible have disappeared from stacks of boxes and containers and now they seem smaller. You don't dare walk around in the house in the dark for fear of breaking some body part.

It seems strange to be packing food also. After all there are grocery stores in Casper. But we've worked long and hard on achieving what food storage we've accumulated and how do you not take that with you? There is the planning of the last day to wash clothes, to plan a meal, to take down the shower curtain and the list goes on and on. My advice...never live in a house for 30 years and then try to move. And, if you have to, don't wait until you are too tired with sore, hurting knees and legs to do so!

But were it not for the help of dear friends, it would be so much harder to do. And, it's a wonderful thing to find out who your true friends are because they are the ones who won't take your refusal of help seriously. They are the ones who show up and take time out of their busy weekend and spend it with you for no other reason than they love you. Thanks to those friends.

Day 9...And Counting

I know what you're thinking...what happened to Day 10 and 11? Well, we moved things up a little bit and are trying to be ready to leave Georgia on Tuesday the 25th. So, we've had to accelerate things a bit and work faster and longer.

We did go to church this morning where I taught my last Gospel Doctrine class in the Tifton Ward. I also unloaded lots of good junk onto other peoples. Items like old Homemaking binders I had put together while in the Relief Society presidency, some Primary books I had and Joe's deer head which he donated to Darrell Spikes for his hunting cabin. Then we went got something to eat, changed clothes and called Janice and Rob Patrick who came out and helped us again today. They came out yesterday and spent several hours helping to take everything off the walls and bringing things down from the attic. To say they were a godsend would be an understatement. We've been very fortunate to have had offers of help from several of our friends.

Things are slowly disappearing from the house either as trash or give-a-ways. Too bad we didn't have the time for a yard sale as we could have made some great money. However, there just isn't enough time to do everything I would love to do and time to visit everyone I'd love to see.

Tonight will be an earlier evening for me though not as early as last night. I can't stay up long as we have people to see and places to go tomorrow morning. Then it's back to the salt mines again.

Since Joe had his bishopric meeting this morning it was getting up at 5:30 a.m. (my body is still working on MST too). I then went to Mom and Dad's as I usually do, spend time chatting with them and then take them to church. I realized this morning that I would only have one more opportunity to do so before leaving and it made me feel quite teary-eyed. No longer would I be able to do that one little simple thing for them any longer.

Eileen spoke in Sacrament Meeting today and gave a very moving talk. She spoke of her love of family and the gospel interspersed with humor and humility. She is one outstanding young woman and Nancy is certainly blessed to have her as a daughter-in-law as we are to have her in our family.

Day 12...and counting

What a day! I've got swollen feet the size of basketballs and my legs feel like wooden logs. We only made two trips to town today and the rest of the day was spent packing.

Our house is beginning to seem as though we have a revolving door. We've had a variety of people coming and going to pick up items that we've been giving away. That has been good and bad. Bad because if the items haven't been cleaned off or out, I have to stop and handle that particular project. Good because that means that is one less thing I have to worry about. It's been hard though watching pieces of my life walk out the door with someone else. Sometimes we are selling things for such ridiculous prices just so we can get rid of them as we won't and don't and can't take them with us.

I did manage to get all my Lakeshore workshops put in their suitcases today and will call and have UPS pick them up and send them to California next week. That's another thing I can mark off my list.

Day 13...and counting

It's been an exceedingly long day. I have the feeling that this is the beginning of many exceedingly long days. It's amazing the amount of things that start popping into your head that needs to be done before moving. I start thinking about the people I need to call to say goodbye. I start thinking about the people I need to see to say goodbye. I start to think of all the businesses that I'll need to contact to discontinue service. And it goes on and on. Standing in the shower is the worse time. I've always done my best thinking in the shower and I've found that I've needed to speed up my showers because I'm thinking waaaay too much!

Let's see what we got accomplished today:

• Got Joe a "store bought" haircut
• Dropped "goodies" off at Mom and Dad's (one mans junk is another mans treasure)
• Went by the post office to mail our deposit for new home in Casper
• Went by Social Security office for some paperwork for Joe
• Went by Wal-Mart for medicines and packing tape
• Next door neighbor came over to check our possible furniture purchases
• Called friends and family to schedule pickup of additional "goodies".

Unfortunately, that wasn't everything on my list, but then there's always tomorrow.

Change

This morning while listening to General Conference on our computer, Thomas S. Monson, our beloved prophet spoke about "change". When I heard that I really perked up because it was as though he was going to speak directly to me. After all, I seem to be the queen of change and I'm just about tired of it!

Change: To alter; to make different; to cause to pass from one state to another; as, to change the position, character, or appearance of a thing; to change the countenance.
To alter by substituting something else for, or by giving up for something else; as, to change the clothes; to change one's occupation; to change one's intention.

I've had major changes in my life in the last couple of weeks - the most serious being a loss of my job. That change alone has caused other changes - my routine, time spent with Joe, my schedule, time spent looking for other employment, etc.

Realizing change has already begun AGAIN for me doesn't make it any easier. I am not stupid and realize every day brings change in one way or another. However, there are those monumental changes which take place that sometimes we do or do not have control over and every once in a while we get the chance to sit back and reflect about those changes. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I had traded one change for another? If we could go back and change something that happened in our past, would we? Even if it was something bad or terrible, would you really want to change it? And, if you did what would be the results? Would our life be any better? Would we have made it worse?

There's a movie that came out 10 years ago called "Sliding Doors". It's about how the life of a woman could change just because she didn't make it through a door at a certain time. Think of all the "what if's" you've had in your life. Mine might be:

(1) What if Les had never lost his job after 19 years? Would he still be at Union Camp and would we still be married? He most likely would not have made a change of a job in Cordele and met the other woman.

(2) What if I'd never gotten divorced from Les? I might never have met Joe. I would certainly miss him now since he's come into my life.

(3) What if I'd never met Les in that chance encounter in Louisiana many years ago? I would never have had Corey and Nikki and Derek.

(4) What if I'd never met Joe by our chance Internet encounter? What if I'd chickened out the day we were to meet? (I almost did).

So, change affects our lives daily. You never know when a chance encounter with a person might change your life. For example, when last unemployed, I met an attorney friend I'd not seen in years. After exchanging pleasantries, he asked what I was doing, I told him I was unemployed and he suggested checking out COI which had not been advertised with openings. I did and the rest is history. I got the job - for only seven months, but it was some of the luckiest seven months of my life. I learned new skills, met fantastic people I'd never have met and I developed at least one relationship that I would never have had.

So yes, I've certainly had many changes and I seem to be at the threshold of many more. We leave to go to Utah this week and we'll be taking a side trip to Wyoming to job search. Now I'm beginning to realize that life could take a drastic change for me in the next week or two. I have a couple of job interviews set up in Casper. I'm beginning to think...

What if they offer me a job? What do I do? Do I say yes? I have a home back in Georgia. What do I do with our home? I can't sell it in the next couple of weeks, or months or whenever. I can't afford two mortgages. Where do we live? How much does it cost to live out there? What do I do to get from here to there? Why am I doing all this? Isn't it just easier to keep looking for a job here? Can I hang in there until something comes along? Is this the Lord's way of say MOVE? (After all, this is my second job loss in a year).

Then there are the other questions regarding possible change...Am I ready to move from this area after 30 years? Can I go off and leave my mom and my dad? Can I give up the network of love and support I have from family and friends?

I certainly don't know the answers to these questions. I can only know that I make my decisions on a daily basis one step at a time. I don't know what my Heavenly Father has in store for me and Joe. He has a plan for me and all I can do is be as ready and willing as possible knowing that prayer and blessings will help and comfort me.