The Doctor Was In...Finally!!!

I don't mean to diminish the "badness" of the day that Jennifer experienced today. But, really it was only some kid barfing everywhere, a little traffic problem, etc. Ce la vi...tomorrow's another day and it could make today seem like a fun day at Disneyworld.

That being said, let me tell you about my "bad" day...

I'm still experiencing problems with my right leg which are beginning to make me wonder if I will be on a show like ABC's "Medical Mysteries" or some test subject in a training hospital. Anyway, I was told I had an appointment with an orthopedic doctor last Friday. I showed up there at the proper time with my very large envelope of MRI pictures of my naked right knee. Signed in and was then told I was not due there for another SIX days! Ooooops, someone goofed and it wasn't me!

So off I went again today for my 9:45 a.m. appointment with my very large envelope of my still naked knee pictures. Right day, right time. Unfortunately the doctor's time was waaaay off as I sat there for two hours never going anywhere...not even to an office that would have given me a sense that I was making some type of progress. But no, I got nothing except the last part of the "Today Show" and "Regis and Kelly". I finally got up, told them I had to leave as I had payroll to complete for 200 people. (And 200 people tend to get a little upset when they can't get their money)! I got rescheduled for 4:00 p.m. today. Yeah! What's another trip back to the doctor's office? Hey, I'd already filled out the voluminous amounts of paperwork and handed over my personal pictures of my naked right knee.

I'd also done a "fasting" this morning in order to have some lab work done. I thought since my morning was a bust at the doctor's office and it needed to me done, I'd get that out of the way. And, I was ready for a little nourishment, since it was almost lunch time by now, I'd pop in and have them take my blood. Imagine my chagrin when I walked in and saw a ROOM FULL OF PEOPLE! I knew it was useless to plead my case, but I tried anyway and lost. I'll be back there at 7:30 a.m. tomorrow morning and guarantee I'll be the first in line. I'll show them.

So, it was back to the office with a return engagement at the doctor's office by 4:00. Things went much better this time. They were expecting and looking for me. No paperwork this time and I didn't spend much time in the outer office. I didn't even get a chance to finish reading about "Brangelina's" new twins. Where was the good stuff this morning?

Anyway, I went into a back office and was invited to change into some shorts. (Never been offered shorts in a doctor office before). However, after I showed the nurse how far I could pull up my pant legs, she was convinced I didn't need to change. After a while, in walked the doctor. OMG!!! He was definitely worth the wait!!! I think I need an appointment there every week. I feel something drastic happening to my legs, my knees, my toes, my hips, anything that will necessitate a routine office visit for a long, long time. Here he was. I was almost at a loss for words. I felt my eyes glazing over, my mouth going dry because I was breathing so hard and fast. I was having problems talking and pleading my case of medical problems. My "girls" became like a heaving runner in an Olympic marathon. I thought I was going to faint from the sight standing before me.

He sat down in a chair next to me and then he began to caress my leg. I warned him though. I told him that this morning my legs had been silky smooth - just for him. Unfortunately though since I'd had to return at this late date, my legs were most likely experiencing a 5:00 o'clock shadow (well, a 4:00 shadow). I told him I didn't want him to hurt himself as he touched my legs. With that, he laughed, threw back his head full of curls and the corners of his face turned up and his brilliantly white teeth almost blinded me.

I was then asked to sit on the exam table. Sensing that I might have difficulty doing so on my own because of my affliction, he gently lifted me and placed me ever so carefully on the table. I thought I was going to pass out again. After our ever so intimate patient/doctor conversation, with some cute little nurse close by, my doctor suggested that we proceed with x-rays for me and then he would return. Imagine that! He would return - just for me.

X-rays completed and he walked in and then things made a drastic u-turn for the worse after our next discussion!!! This once gorgimous doctor of mine suddenly took a turn for the worse in my eyes and heart. He recommended a shot! A shot in my knee!! I thought I was going to pass out and believe me, it wasn't from swooning this time around. I was pleading and begging him not to give me the shot. Wasn't there some other alternative? He promised I'd feel much better. (Isn't that what they always say)? So, he proceeded with the preparations for the shot:

1 - He sprayed something on my knee to deaden the knee area. I know it had to be liquid frostbite. It was cold and I lost feeling on my knee. Now, not only was I going to get a shot, but I knew I'd never feel my right knee ever again.

2 - He then proceeded to pull out the largest, most ginormous needle I think I've ever seen. It must have been at least 12" long. I just knew it would go in the front of my knee and out the back. If it did, I'll never know as...

3 - I then turned my head and I could feel the needle as he he jabbed it in my knee as though he was stabbing for the last piece of perfectly cooked prime rib left on a platter. I almost passed out from the incredible, excruciating pain as the liquid lava burned its way into the inner core of my knee. Then, at last, it was over. A large, heavily padded gauze bandage was taped to my knee before all the blood from my leg escaped. And then, then I was tossed aside like a dirty, stinky washcloth and told to return in a couple of weeks.

I then left the doctor's office dragging my right leg behind me and feeling defeated and beaten. I felt as though I'd been in a fight with a well-trained pit bull dog. I needed to recover before driving home so I sought solace at Mom and Dad's house. I knew they'd give me reassurance and comfort and they did. Then I returned home to my loving, faithful husband who I hoped would forgive my brief platonic indiscretion with my doctor. I confessed all to him and all is well in the Weaver household once again. (Until two weeks from now. Who knows maybe Joe will come with me the next time :)!

P.S. For the record: If you are a loyal fan of "Grey's Anatomy" as Joe and I are, you will recognize "my doctor" as Dr. McSteamy. If you don't recognize the picture, I'm so sorry you are living a slightly deprived life. And, my actual doctor was a very nice, caring gentleman.