May, 2, 1979
(I had been married to Les a little over a year when I wrote the following entry in a journal)...
"Disappointment is so hard to bear I've come to realize. After going to the doctor Monday and him telling me I was pregnant and then finding out finally today that I'm not. I can hardly stand the pain by myself. Les is working night shift this week and I feel so all alone. I've had my one good cry earlier this evening. My expectations were built so high only to be crushed. I feel as though I can never trust another doctors opinion until it's confirmed. I know now what Susan was feeling when she lost her baby.
I guess I feel sorrier for Les more than anything. He was so looking forward to a baby. I guess Heavenly Father knows best though. He's blessed us so much during the past few months that it's really unforgivable to complain. We have our own home, all the things that we need and want and our marriage is going so well. I love Les more than I ever have. He's so good to me. Maybe sometime soon we can have a baby".
