Grandparent's Day

Sunday was celebrated as "Grandparent's Day". I realized when I woke up that this was my first one as a grandparent. I wondered how Derek will remember me when he is older. I wondered since I had such a strange relationship with my own grandparents. I know that unless Joe and I move closer to Derek, my relationship with him most likely won't be the way I'd love it to be.

I didn't know either set of my grandparents very well. In fact, my paternal grandmother was almost a mystery to me as I don't remember spending much time with her at all. My first memory of time with her wasn't until the time just before we moved to Japan in 1961. I remember her home in Missouri, I remember her living near railroad tracks and I remember attending Vacation Bible School at her church. (That is my first memory of any organized religion also). I remember her coming to visit us in Florida and visiting at the home in Brookfield. Other than that, I don't have many memories of her. I do remember that her looks never seemed to change and that she always seemed to be afraid to show affection. And, I don't remember my paternal grandfather at all since he died of back cancer when I was four?

I did spend more time with Grandmother and Granddaddy McGhee - mom's parents, but only because we had more opportunities to visit them from time to time. I even vaguely remember one of my great-grandmothers. Though I have memories of them, they are not all good ones. My first memory is being spanked with a switch from a tree by my granddaddy because I didn't want to carry a fish back to the house. I remember my Grandmother calling me "Caroline". I remember how she used to make homemade biscuits the same way morning after morning and how fascinating it was to watch how she did it. I remember walking out with out to the barn with her and watching how she milked the cows. That was always fascinating for me as a "city kid". She even let me try milking the cow. I remember her frying hog's brains with eggs for breakfast for my Granddaddy.

My funnest experience with Granddaddy was the time that he loaded me and bunch of my other cousins and sisters in the back of his pickup truck. He drove us down some old country, clay road which was very, very hilly and then floored it. The ride was fantastic! It was like our own personal roller coaster. Up and down the hills we went, hanging on to anything possible and squealing and screaming and Granddaddy giving us the ride of a lifetime. I look back at it now and wonder how we all survived. I remember Granddaddy feeding his fish in the pond with the leftover morning biscuits.

Corey has been lucky in one aspect of his life, I think. He's been able to establish a real, genuine relationship with him maternal grandparents. He's gotten to really know them, spend quality time with them and grow to love them. Unfortunately, that was not possible with his other grandparents. His other grandfather had long died and Les never really had much desire to return to Louisiana for visits. So Corey saw his Grandmother Nora when he was about two years old and when she came to visit us in Georgia when he was around 4.

Though Joe has four beautiful little granddaughters, he has only had limited access with them also. Their parents don't do anything to encourage a relationship. There are never telephone calls from the granddaughters to speak with their grandfather. If Joe sees them, it's because he makes the effort to fly and spend some time with them which is getting harder to do considering his health problems in the last couple of years. I've seen the hurt in his eyes.

So, I wonder from time to time what will be my own relationship with Derek? Thus far, I'm grateful and thankful that Corey and Nikki have tried to involve both Joe and I as much as possible. There are the phone pictures and videos which make us smile and laugh. There are the opportunities to listen to him on the telephone as he cries or laughs or coos. We look forward to our next visit with our grandson in about a month so that we can make new memories.

What's The Future Hold For Us?

Well, this weekend has been spent primarily checking on possible new jobs. When I go to work this coming week, I'll be lucky to be there another three weeks. I hope I can at least be able to stay around until October 3rd. Joe and I will go to Utah the next week and then life will definitely change for us once we return to Georgia. It'll be my second job loss in one year. Lucky me, huh?

I've spent the weekend submitting my resume to various employers in Wyoming, including the State of Wyoming, to see if I get any nibbles for a potential job. Since we're going out west, maybe someone will be interested in speaking with me about employment. You ask why Wyoming? We say why not? It would be close enough to the kids (about 3 hours drive) to visit regularly. Do we know anyone in Wyoming? No. Have we been there? Yes. Look at it this way - nothing ventured, nothing gained.

In the meantime, I'm still proceeding with looking for employment around the Tifton area. Unfortunately it took 5 months to find the last job and the job market is worse now. But, I know that my Heavenly Father has plans for me and Joe and all I can do is do my part with the job process. So, I'm also submitting my resume around this area.

I just know that I am in the stage of my life when most people are getting ready to retire and that's not even an option for me. Retirement will be a foreign word for me. When I was 49, I had been married for 23 years, had a retirement account with a husband and life seemed to be going in the right direction. Then there was the divorce and life changed - no husband, no money and having to start all over again. I started all over again the second time with a new job, with my own retirement account, which I keep for six years until the grant ends and I, at age 52, get a fantastic new husband who had recently had his own 23 year marriage ended by his wife (she got all the money).

So here I am at age 56, losing my second job in a year, retirement account still in tact for the moment and starting all over again for the third time. You know what they say about "third times"? It's a charm. I hope so!!!

So, will we stay in Georgia? I hope so, but something's gotta happen soon. I love the network of people and family we have here and though we would love to be out West with the kids, I'd rather stick around here, if possible.

It's Susie...

I was glancing through the Tifton Gazette website tonight and look who I found?!?! It's Susan! The caption says...Margie Jarworski, the Tifton Police Department’s Citizen’s Police Academy Alumni treasurer (front, left) recently presented a $1,000 check to Susan Tucker (front right), who is organizing the Vietnam Moving Wall’s visit here Oct. 23-29. The money will be used to purchase flags that will line the route the wall will take through Tifton on its way to Eighth Street Middle School for display. Other members of the academy pictured include (back, from left) Ginger Kelly, secretary; Iris Smith, vice president; and Jerry Hopwood, president.

Here are some of the other articles that's been published about her and the Moving Wall...

Published July 23, 2008 06:32 pm -

They plan to paint Tifton red, white and blue with flags. They are Susan Tucker and Bill Johnson and they serve on the committee to bring the Vietnam Moving Wall to Tifton this Fall.

“They call me ‘The Wall Lady,’” Tucker said.
“They call me ‘The Flag Man,’” Johnson said.

When the Vietnam Moving Wall comes to Tifton in late October, Tucker and Johnson plan to have the route the wall will take through Tifton lined with flags. She would like to have 58,000 flags — one for each Vietnam veteran name on the wall — but said that might not be realistic.

The wall will arrive in Tifton on October 22 and will be placed in the sallyport at the City of Tifton Police Department for security reasons. The next day it will travel down Main Street and turn west on Eighth Street to the Eighth Street Middle School. The wall will be set up on the field in the middle of the walking track and will remain there through October 28.

“We would like to have every street lined with flags,” Tucker said. “For people coming off the Interstate we want to be able to say, ‘Follow the flags.’”

Tucker and Johnson plan to have the name of a veteran written on the staff of the flag. To participate in Tucker and Johnson’s plans, everyone needs to do the following:
• Go to the main Fire Station and ask for Michael Coleman in the front office. You can purchase a flag for $2 and write the name of your loved one on the flag. Leave the flag you have purchased at the station.
• Or, you can go to Eighth Street Middle School and see the receptionist or ask for Susan Tucker and purchase the flag.
• Or, you can mail a check to: Susan Tucker, c/o Eighth Street Middle School, 700 West 8th Street, Tifton, 31794. Be sure to give the name you want on the flag and it will be put on the flag for you.

Tucker said she wants to encourage organizations as well as individuals to purchase flags. “If an organization wants to buy 50 flags in their name that would be great,” Tucker said.

Tucker said the wall will be in Tifton two weeks before the election and two weeks before Veteran’s day. “We want every Vietnam vet honored in some way,” Tucker said.

The wall coming to Tifton will be a regional event. “This is the only place in Georgia the wall will be in this year,” Tucker said. She said the wall would be coming to Tifton from North Charleston, South Carolina. When it leaves it will go to Bradenton, Florida, and then it will return to its home base for the remainder of the year. “We want every county in Georgia to know about it,” she said.

Tucker and Johnson said they have been reaching out to neighboring counties to let them know of the event. The money left over from purchasing the flags will be used to advertise the wall being in Tifton. Any other money left over will be given to the Vietnam Combat Veterans organization.

Tucker has already begun making plans for some of the ceremonies and events which will take place during the week the wall is in Tifton. She is arranging for the Marine Corp Band out of Albany to play and for Keith Stone to play the bagpipes every evening before taps. The Military Vehicle Preservation Association will have vehicles and equipment displayed on the field. For the nine veterans from Tifton with their names on the wall, Tucker plans to have a memorial with nine inverted rifles.

Published July 23, 2008 06:24 pm - Help honor veterans

During the past couple of weeks, I have had the opportunity to speak with a pretty remarkable person from Tifton. As many of you know, Mrs. Susan Tucker is working to bring the “Moving Wall” to Tifton this October.

For those of you who don’t know about the “Moving Wall,” it is a half size replica of the Vietnam Memorial Wall that stands in Washington. There are over 58,000 names of soldiers who gave their lives fighting for our country during the Vietnam Conflict.

Of those 58,000-plus people listed on that wall, Tift County has nine soldiers of its own named there. I know there are some of you who might not know anyone listed there, but think of it this way: The youngest soldier from Tift County listed on the wall was just 19 years old. The youngest person in all on the wall was a young man who was born in Goldsboro, N.C. He died at the young age of 15 years old!

Now just think about that for a minute. These soldiers were just 15 and 19 years old. These young men’s lives had just barely begun, but they were sent off to war to fight for our country.

Every single one of those 58,000 names represents what was once a living, breathing person. Each person on that wall was someone’s father, mother, son, daughter or maybe just simply a best friend. Each and every person on that wall was loved by someone and they gave their lives to fight for our great country.

The wall itself is a remarkable memorial that is a testament to the sacrifice made by American soldiers during one of the most unpopular wars our country has ever been involved in. I can tell you first hand, when you walk among the heroes listed on this wall, you can not stop the feeling of pride that comes over your. You can not help but get a “goose bump” feeling that will make the hair on your arms rise and a tear come to your eye. This memorial has the uncanny ability to bring out the American pride in you and you have to stand in awe of it.

I can guarantee you, because I know from first-hand experience, that when you leave this memorial, you will have a whole different respect for what the veterans of this great country have done and continue to do today. It is because of people like the ones listed on this wall that we have the freedoms we enjoy today.

Mrs. Tucker is working so hard to make this a wonderful event. In talking with her, I have realized that she has so many things planned to honor the soldiers that called Tift County home. However, in case some of you don’t know, Mrs. Tucker is also a teacher here in Tift County and she makes it her life’s passion to teach our children about history and the sacrifices of our veteran heroes. But, she needs the help and support of OUR community. Please try to give a few minute of your time, or spend a couple of dollars and make a donation to help with the cost of bringing “The Wall” to Tift County. Help her to honor these people. They gave their lives for us ... whether we knew them or not.

There are still people living right here in our community and surrounding counties today that have limitations on their lives each and every day. Some of them may be losing their eyesight or may be disabled and in a wheelchair, or maybe just don’t have the financial means to travel to Washington to see the original Vietnam Memorial. This “Moving Wall” may be the only opportunity they get to pay respect to their fallen comrades who they fought side by side with. Others may just need to pay respect to a friend, a father, mother, brother or sister.

Help her honor them!

Jeannine Taylor
Tifton

Published June 27, 2008 07:30 pm - Wall’s visit will honor all local service

First let me begin by saying how much I appreciate the service performed by the Tifton Gazette in publishing the needs of the Committee to Bring the “Moving Wall” to Tifton. I am also grateful for the response from the members of the community to those needs. I feel I need to clarify for those readers who questioned why, even though they know their loved one’s name is on The Wall, I did not include them specifically in my request for information.

I gathered information from two different sources in order to determine which servicemen from Tift County were listed on The Wall. The first source was the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Directory of Names which is published by the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Fund, Inc. in Washington, D.C. It is the book that lists each name on the Wall alphabetically and specifies which panel and which line that person’s name can be found. It also lists the person’s branch of service, their rank, date of birth, date of casualty, the city listed as their home of record and whether that person is still missing in action.

The second source I used is the National Archives’ website entitled State-Level List of Casualties from the Korean War and the Vietnam War. On this site, information can be obtained either by alphabetical listing or by clicking on a state and accessing a listing of each service personnel’s home of record. Please allow me to quote directly from this site: “The National Archives and Records Administration prepared these state level casualty lists by creating extracts from the military casualty data files in the Records of the Office of the Secretary of Defense (Record Group 330). The lists are based on the ‘home of record - state’ data provided by the serviceman or woman upon last entrance into military service. ‘Home of record’ does not necessarily refer to the place of birth, residence of next of kin, place of longest residence or other common uses of the term “hometown.”

Please know that it is not my intention to overlook or slight ANY Vietnam Veteran who resides in Tift County — either in the past or presently. There are over 1,500 names on The Wall from the state of Georgia. Since The Wall is going to physically be in Tift County, I, as chairman of the committee, chose to try to give special recognition to those who listed Tift County as their “Home of Record.”

Many visitors to The Wall will not know anyone personally whose name is on the Wall. What an honor it will be for us in Tift County to introduce our nine servicemen and their families to someone new. Those of you who have a relative whose name was not included in the Gazette article are in a unique position to personally honor him/her by volunteering your time when The Wall is here and introducing your loved one to us on a one-to-one basis. I would welcome your participation in this experience.

I would encourage anyone who might have a question about their loved one to contact me and together we can examine the resources I used. No one who served in Vietnam will be left unrecognized in some way during the visit of The Wall. I will do my best to make sure we “leave no one behind.”

Susan Tucker
Tifton

Published June 24, 2008 09:59 pm

The names of nine Tift County men who died in battle are among the 1,400 listed on the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Wall. The Georgia history teacher who is organizing the Oct. 22-27 visit here of “The Moving Wall” is asking that the community tell her anything about those men and veterans of other wars so she can write it into history.

Susan Tucker teaches seventh and eighth-grade history at Eighth Street Middle School. She is the daughter of a Vietnam veteran, married a veteran and has a son who is a veteran.

At the Tuesday meeting of the Tifton Lions Club at the Golden Corral, Tucker asked members if they knew how Lt. Harold B. “Pinky” Durham Jr., a Vietnam veteran and only recipient of the Medal of Honor, got his nickname. No one did.

“I heard that when he was born, the hospital had run out of blue blankets and they wrapped him in a pink one,” Tucker said.

In addition to Durham, the names of Franklin Thomas Collins, Robert Lee Dykes Jr., Hulus Edgar Key Jr. and Harold Ray Tyson, all of Tifton; Delma Ernest Dickens of Omega and George Thomas Spillers and Joseph Ray Wynn Jr., both of Chula, appear on the wall. Tucker is planning an archival booth that will be available near “The Moving Wall” for Vietnam veterans to have their pictures taken as they appeared in boot camp. Also, she’s encouraging them to either have their story videotaped at the booth or providing a typed version to organizers and placing the information in a book that she will donate to the Tifton-Tift County Genealogical Society. Also, if anyone wants to loan war memorabilia, it will be displayed in an exhibit at the Tifton Museum of Arts and Heritage.
Tucker, a native of Tifton, began organizing a fundraising campaign in February to bring the wall to Tifton. She said six sources donated the $4,000 needed to pay the Vietnam Combat Veterans, Ltd. organization in two weeks. She hopes others in the community will volunteer and donate funds to advertise the event through local media, to print flyers to distribute, to provide food for volunteers and decorations for the wall.

Tucker organized the ESMS History Club and those students and others will join her to take responsibility for the display while it is here. The moving wall will be erected on the campus at ESMS in the area of the track. People will have access to the wall around the clock beginning the morning of Oct. 23 through the afternoon of Oct. 27.
“The Moving Wall” is a half-size replica of the Washington, D.C., Vietnam Veterans Memorial and has been touring the country for more than 20 years. Only 40 communities each year have the privilege of hosting the wall.
“This year, the only place it’s coming in Georgia is to Tifton,” Tucker said.

Tucker told Lions Club members that the memorial helps bring healing to veterans and their friends and families and their visits are sometimes very emotional.

“I feel it’s an extremely important event because the Vietnam War affected everybody,” Tucker said. “My wish is for the five days the wall is at Eighth Street Middle School, (that it will be) the No. 1 place people can go and find peace.”

“The Moving Wall” is made of Plexiglass and aluminum and is 250 feet long and four feet tall at each end and six feet tall in the center. The names of the 58,425 men and women who died in Vietnam is silk-screened on the black panels. Many of the people who visit the wall leave mementos, some of which are artifacts of the war. All of the items left at the Moving Wall are collected the last day of the display, marked, boxed and shipped to the Vietnam Combat Veterans, Ltd., office in White Pine, Mich. The artifacts are stored there until they are displayed in glass cases below the flag of each state the memorial has visited.

TIFTON — The Moving Wall, the nation’s first and only traveling Vietnam Veterans Memorial, will be in Tifton from Oct. 22 - 27. The visit is sponsored by the Eighth Street Middle School History Club on behalf of all the veterans in Tifton and the surrounding area.

Susan Tucker, the faculty advisor of the history club and chairman of the committee to bring the Moving Wall to Tifton, said that the club is honored to be able to sponsor this visit and proud to be even a small part of the special experience. The memorial helps to bring healing to veterans, families and friends of those men and women who served and gave the ultimate sacrifice for this country. Bring the wall to Tifton also helps provide an opportunity for those people in Tifton and Tift County who may not be able to go to Washington to visit the original wall.
The Moving Wall allows people to experience the memorial; to reach out and touch the name of a loved one. Visiting the wall is a very emotional experience, even for people who don’t personally know someone who died in Vietnam.

In 1982, John Devitt, a former helicopter door gunner and Army veteran, visited Washington, D.C. for the dedication of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial and to participate in the National Salute to Vietnam Veterans. This visit and experience changed Devitt’s life and led to the creation of the Moving Wall. Devitt, the chairman and founder of the Moving Wall, wanted to capture the spirit he felt at the Washington, D.C. memorial and share it with people who couldn’t travel there to see the monument. In 1983, he and some friends spent 22 months and about $28,000 in donations to build his original Plexiglas/aluminum replica of the memorial. The result was a replica that measures 250 feet long. It is four feet tall at each end and six feet tall in the center. Upon the replica are inscribed the names of the 58,425 men and women who died in Vietnam. Each name is silk-screened on the black panels.

The Moving Wall visits about 40 cities a year and the stays range from the normal five days to a week. There is no admission fee charged to visit the Moving Wall. Many of the people who visit the Moving Wall leave mementos for their loved one. All the items left at the Moving Wall are collected the last day of the display, marked, boxed and then shipped to the Vietnam Combat Veterans, Ltd., office in White Pine, Mich. There the artifacts are put in storage until they are displayed in glass cases below the flag of each state the memorial has visited.

Tucker said it is a chance for her to give special thanks to her father for his service in Vietnam. She said that because he physically will never be able to make it to the wall in Washington, she is especially grateful for this privilege of bringing the wall to her father.

Those who come to the Moving Wall while it is in Tifton may be looking for a certain name. Volunteers will be on the site to help people locate a name on the wall.

Be Late For Something Day

Sorry I am so late letting you know that today is "Be Late For Something Day". This would be a great day to be a procrastinator. If you are among the millions who never seem to be able to stay on schedule, then you will certainly enjoy today.
Being late for something as a common occurrence. It's caused by a whole host of reasons. Some are intentional, some are not. Fall behind schedule early in the day today and you will most likely be late for everything that follows. Doctors and lawyers are notoriously late for something....their appointment with you! My doctor must have thought yesterday was "Be Late For Somthing Day". One thing that really is very acceptable today is that it's always been perfectly proper to be "fashionably late" for parties, especially if you want to make a grand entrance.

So, although you may be reading this at the end of your day, you can still celebrate by being late to go to bed. Come on - live it up!

PROCRASTINATOR'S CREED

...I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.
...I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.
...I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.
...I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.
...I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.
...I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.
...I shall never forget that the probability of a miracle, though infinitesimally small, is not exactly zero.
...If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.
...I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
...I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.
...I obey the law of inverse excuses which demands that the greater the task to be done, the more insignificant the work that must be done prior to beginning the greater task.
...I know that the work cycle is not plan/start/finish, but is wait/plan/plan.
...I will never put off until tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.
...I will become a member of the ancient Order of Two-Headed Turtles (the Procrastinator's Society) if they ever get it organized.

The Doctor Was In...Finally!!!

I don't mean to diminish the "badness" of the day that Jennifer experienced today. But, really it was only some kid barfing everywhere, a little traffic problem, etc. Ce la vi...tomorrow's another day and it could make today seem like a fun day at Disneyworld.

That being said, let me tell you about my "bad" day...

I'm still experiencing problems with my right leg which are beginning to make me wonder if I will be on a show like ABC's "Medical Mysteries" or some test subject in a training hospital. Anyway, I was told I had an appointment with an orthopedic doctor last Friday. I showed up there at the proper time with my very large envelope of MRI pictures of my naked right knee. Signed in and was then told I was not due there for another SIX days! Ooooops, someone goofed and it wasn't me!

So off I went again today for my 9:45 a.m. appointment with my very large envelope of my still naked knee pictures. Right day, right time. Unfortunately the doctor's time was waaaay off as I sat there for two hours never going anywhere...not even to an office that would have given me a sense that I was making some type of progress. But no, I got nothing except the last part of the "Today Show" and "Regis and Kelly". I finally got up, told them I had to leave as I had payroll to complete for 200 people. (And 200 people tend to get a little upset when they can't get their money)! I got rescheduled for 4:00 p.m. today. Yeah! What's another trip back to the doctor's office? Hey, I'd already filled out the voluminous amounts of paperwork and handed over my personal pictures of my naked right knee.

I'd also done a "fasting" this morning in order to have some lab work done. I thought since my morning was a bust at the doctor's office and it needed to me done, I'd get that out of the way. And, I was ready for a little nourishment, since it was almost lunch time by now, I'd pop in and have them take my blood. Imagine my chagrin when I walked in and saw a ROOM FULL OF PEOPLE! I knew it was useless to plead my case, but I tried anyway and lost. I'll be back there at 7:30 a.m. tomorrow morning and guarantee I'll be the first in line. I'll show them.

So, it was back to the office with a return engagement at the doctor's office by 4:00. Things went much better this time. They were expecting and looking for me. No paperwork this time and I didn't spend much time in the outer office. I didn't even get a chance to finish reading about "Brangelina's" new twins. Where was the good stuff this morning?

Anyway, I went into a back office and was invited to change into some shorts. (Never been offered shorts in a doctor office before). However, after I showed the nurse how far I could pull up my pant legs, she was convinced I didn't need to change. After a while, in walked the doctor. OMG!!! He was definitely worth the wait!!! I think I need an appointment there every week. I feel something drastic happening to my legs, my knees, my toes, my hips, anything that will necessitate a routine office visit for a long, long time. Here he was. I was almost at a loss for words. I felt my eyes glazing over, my mouth going dry because I was breathing so hard and fast. I was having problems talking and pleading my case of medical problems. My "girls" became like a heaving runner in an Olympic marathon. I thought I was going to faint from the sight standing before me.

He sat down in a chair next to me and then he began to caress my leg. I warned him though. I told him that this morning my legs had been silky smooth - just for him. Unfortunately though since I'd had to return at this late date, my legs were most likely experiencing a 5:00 o'clock shadow (well, a 4:00 shadow). I told him I didn't want him to hurt himself as he touched my legs. With that, he laughed, threw back his head full of curls and the corners of his face turned up and his brilliantly white teeth almost blinded me.

I was then asked to sit on the exam table. Sensing that I might have difficulty doing so on my own because of my affliction, he gently lifted me and placed me ever so carefully on the table. I thought I was going to pass out again. After our ever so intimate patient/doctor conversation, with some cute little nurse close by, my doctor suggested that we proceed with x-rays for me and then he would return. Imagine that! He would return - just for me.

X-rays completed and he walked in and then things made a drastic u-turn for the worse after our next discussion!!! This once gorgimous doctor of mine suddenly took a turn for the worse in my eyes and heart. He recommended a shot! A shot in my knee!! I thought I was going to pass out and believe me, it wasn't from swooning this time around. I was pleading and begging him not to give me the shot. Wasn't there some other alternative? He promised I'd feel much better. (Isn't that what they always say)? So, he proceeded with the preparations for the shot:

1 - He sprayed something on my knee to deaden the knee area. I know it had to be liquid frostbite. It was cold and I lost feeling on my knee. Now, not only was I going to get a shot, but I knew I'd never feel my right knee ever again.

2 - He then proceeded to pull out the largest, most ginormous needle I think I've ever seen. It must have been at least 12" long. I just knew it would go in the front of my knee and out the back. If it did, I'll never know as...

3 - I then turned my head and I could feel the needle as he he jabbed it in my knee as though he was stabbing for the last piece of perfectly cooked prime rib left on a platter. I almost passed out from the incredible, excruciating pain as the liquid lava burned its way into the inner core of my knee. Then, at last, it was over. A large, heavily padded gauze bandage was taped to my knee before all the blood from my leg escaped. And then, then I was tossed aside like a dirty, stinky washcloth and told to return in a couple of weeks.

I then left the doctor's office dragging my right leg behind me and feeling defeated and beaten. I felt as though I'd been in a fight with a well-trained pit bull dog. I needed to recover before driving home so I sought solace at Mom and Dad's house. I knew they'd give me reassurance and comfort and they did. Then I returned home to my loving, faithful husband who I hoped would forgive my brief platonic indiscretion with my doctor. I confessed all to him and all is well in the Weaver household once again. (Until two weeks from now. Who knows maybe Joe will come with me the next time :)!

P.S. For the record: If you are a loyal fan of "Grey's Anatomy" as Joe and I are, you will recognize "my doctor" as Dr. McSteamy. If you don't recognize the picture, I'm so sorry you are living a slightly deprived life. And, my actual doctor was a very nice, caring gentleman.

Nine Words Women Use

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. (Joe knows this one well, especially when I'm trying to finish up a posting and he's heading to bed).

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It! (I've said this one many times to Joe during all of his medical adventures).

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' ... That will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying SCREW YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

Labor Day - Too Short!

I don't know how you spent your Labor Day, but I spent my laboring. Laboring on the computer. No, not because I was blogging. It was more like revising my revised revised resume. All this seems rather like something out of "The Twilight Zone". Didn't I just go through all this almost a year to the day!?!?!?! I'm in the process of pulling out all those lists of job employment sites. Goodie, goodie. I am so looking forward to going through the entire mess again - NOT!

Time to dust off the ole fax machine, get a new supply of black printer cartridges and make sure there's plenty of copy paper. But I look at it this way - atleast I know what to do and how to do it this time around!

It'll all be good and it'll all work out the way it's supposed to. My Heavenly Father knows what is in store for sweet Joe and me.

Forgot to mention that Nikki called on Friday 8/29 and Derek now has tooth number

I've got a holiday from work today and I am so glad!!!

Ain't life grand?!?!?! I think so.

More "Earlier" Pictures of Derek

2/19/08

6/30/08

6/30/08

7/6/08

7/15/08

7/17/08

8/13/08 - This was my good morning kiss from Derek.

8/14/08

8/14/08

8/15/08

Who Knew? It's National Lint Trap Day!

Uses for Dryer Lint: (Disclaimer: These ideas were not written by me. They came from some article on the internet. I don't have that much spare time to think of these things - thank goodness!)

After reading several group discussions about the different uses for dryer lint, I went hunting for dryer lint dust bunnies. As you can see from the photo, I found one! (Wow)! With this much dryer lint accumulating, it was obviously time to find other ways to use it (and maybe other ways to use my time, but that's another story). You may be surprised at how very creative people can be with such a lowly common household substance that it is usually tossed out with the trash.

Dryer Lint Starts Fires.

First, be careful, because dryer lint starts fires. Dryer lint is highly flammable, which is why your dryer should always be vented to the outside, and you should remove lint from the lint trap regularly. (And, you wondered why we celebrate National Lint Trap Day. Shame on you for doubting it is an important day)! Stick up a post-it note, if need be, to remind your busy teens to take this step. Decorate it with red hot flames to remind them they risk a house fire if they forget!- Provide a coffee can, or other small container, for easy collection of dryer lint, preferably after every dryer use.

Second, start fires with dryer lint:- Pack toilet paper rolls or paper towel rolls with dryer lint and use with kindling to easily start a fire in your woodstove or fireplace.- Pack empty pill containers or film cannisters with dryer lint. You'll be surprised how much lint you can stuff in these (several dryer loads worth). Give them to the campers in your family to help start their next campfire.- Make fancy cup cake campfire starters to give as gifts or sell as bazaar crafts. See the instructions for wood shaving campfire starters, replacing all or part of the wood shavings with dryer lint. Alternatively, pack cardboard egg cartons with dryer lint and drizzle with melted wax from broken crayons or old candles. Cut the sections apart and use as kindling for your next camp fire.- Forget the lighter fluid, and use small amounts of dryer lint to light your next charcoal barbeque. (Hey Corey and Nikki - guess what you may be getting for your Christmas presents?!? The perfect fire starter for those family picnics up in the Utah canyons)!

Dryer Lint as Art:

Yep, I'm serious. Or semi-serious, anyway. Or maybe tongue-in-cheek serious. You can make the dust bunny shown in our photo by rolling copious amounts of dryer lint into a bunny shape and adding some goggle eyes. Slide it under your teenager's bed as an artistic counterpoint to the dust bunnies already residing there. It just may work better than any amount of nagging to get the mess cleared out (if you try this, please let me know how it works out for you)! Caution: Don't forget that dryer lint - even as a dust bunny - is highly flammable, so use it to play a joke or have a laugh but, once the fun is over, don't leave it lying around. Recycle it in one of the ways suggested here, or dispose of it safely.- Artistic types might like to see How to Make Dryer Lint Art on the Homes and Garden Television site. - Serious artistic types should read the artist's statement (and see the pictures) on Angels and Other Creatures, brought to you by the National Lint Project and Studio Capezzuti.

Crafters with children who love to sculpt can make dryer lint clay. There are numerous recipes available on the web. The following recipe must be made by an adult, because it involves cooking in a saucepan. However, it is a nice clay to mold in a variety of ways.

Lint Dryer Clay:

Tear 3 cups of lint into small pieces and place in a saucepan. Cover with about 2 cups of water and slowly stir in 1 cup of flour. Add a few drops of vegetable oil and stir constantly, over low heat, until mixture is smooth and binds together. Pour onto sheets of newspaper, parchment or waxed paper to cool. Use to sculpt models, cover forms, or pack into small molds, similar to our Toilet Paper Plant Pokes. Allow your creation to dry fully, which can take anywhere from 3 to 7 days, depending on the size. Paint and decorate to finish.

Lint Dryer Paper Mache:

Combine 2 cups of water with 3 cups of dryer lint in a large saucepan. Stir in 2/3 cup of flour until well mixed. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, until pulp holds together enough to form peaks. Pour onto newspaper, parchment or waxed paper to cool. If not using immediately, store in an airtight container; pulp will keep for about 3 days. Spread mixture over the object that you are using as the paper mache mold - a bowl, box, bottle or balloon, for instance. Allow to air dry, which may take up to a week. Sand rough edges and decorate as desired.

Dryer Lint Paper- If you're making handmade paper, add dryer lint to your paper pulp. Don't try to make paper purely from dryer lint; it doesn't have enough "body" to hold the paper together - but a handful of dryer lint in a blender full of paper pulp will add texture and interest to the final product.

Dryer Lint and Horticulture

Line plant pots with dryer lint, then add potting soil and plants. The lint keeps the soil in, but lets the water out.- Use dryer lint as a kind of indoor mulch to help conserve moisture for your indoor tropical plants. Just spread the dryer lint on the surface of the plant soil; water the plant as usual. Conserve moisture in outdoor container plants, or around the base of small speciman plants, by mulching with dryer lint.

Give Dryer Lint Away

Yep, there are those who would welcome your cast-off dryer lint. Among them are busy sparrows and robins, looking to line a nest for their expected family of baby birds.- Fill an onion mesh bag with a mixture of nesting material, including small pieces of dryer lint, small pieces of yarn or string (no bigger than the length of your thumb), hair from your hairbrush or dog hair, feathers or leftover strings of moss from your craft projects. Hang from a tree in the springtime, ready for pickup by your grateful feathered friends.- Give natural fibre dryer lint to your pets - offer it as a nesting material for your pet finches, guinea pig, hamsters or mice.

Give dryer lint to the worms! Add natural fibre dryer lint (from cotton or wool fabric, but no synthetics) to your compost heap.

Dryer Lint Do-Nots

Yep, do nots, not donuts. I've seen some really silly suggestions for using dryer lint. All kidding aside, dryer lint is very flammable. It catches fire very easily and burns very well -- so DO NOT use dryer lint to stuff toys or crafts, puff out appliques, or make pillows. It is soft and fluffy, and compacts well, but dryer lint is not a substance that you want surrounding you in a quilt or on a sofa, nor do you want your grandkids hugging a teddy bear stuffed with one of the world's best fire starters.

Not one to be left out of a good thing, Joe decides he just has to make his own lint trap art project. He begins by removing the layer of lint from our own handy-dandy dryer.

Oh my, is he ever so lucky. Joe finds that his lint is also sprinkled with lots and lots of black dog hair. Maybe he can add that little something extra to his art project?

Hmmm, looks like he didn't quite get all the lint out of the trap yet.

Look carefully. That is a genius at work. I wonder what Joey might be making? A rabbit like in the picture?

Well, it looks like he's finished. And what did Joey make? Oh, it's a ball, huh? No, you can't play ball with the Furry Kids with that ball. They might try to eat it. Good try though. Everyone has to start somewhere when making their first dryer lint art project. (Hey, maybe he got his inspiration for the ball after reading Jennifer's blog about her family making meatballs)?

What can you make boys and girls?

My Memories of Katrina - Three Years Later

When Hurricane Katrina hit the Gulf Coast three years ago, Joe, Corey and I, as well as other members of the Ward, had the opportunity to go and do some relief work just five days after she struck. The following is an email I sent to friends of mine upon my return. It is an abbreviated account of my experiences. Please excuse the condition of some of the pictures as they were taken as we were traveling in the truck.

I sent an email to many of you last week to let you know that Joe, Corey and I would be making a trip, with other members of my church - The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (the Mormons) to Gulfport, Mississippi to do relief work this Labor Day weekend. We did go to Mississippi. However, we were sent to a very small town - Waveland, MS which is about 55 miles east of New Orleans. This is/was a town of almost 7,000 that was practically wiped off the face of the earth when a storm surge of 25 feet came into the town.

We brought in supplies that so many of you graciously donated for this trip to families staying at our church in Waveland and distributed them. I cannot begin to tell you how appreciated and grateful these people felt.

To give you the short version of our trip...We spent the night with these good and humble people and had a tent donated for the three of us to sleep in. It was one of the worse nights I've ever spent in my life in many ways. First of all, I don't like to camp and here I was sleeping in a tent in the open, helicopters flying around all night, fear of looters, sirens in the night, etc. There were no working toilets, the flood waters had come into the church and so the carpeting was still wet and smelly, you had to wear your shoes at all times and wipe your hands constantly with wipes since there was no running water. Even if there had been, it would have been contaminated.

There were so many wonderful, spiritual, heartbreaking, tragic experiences that took place that is too numerous to write about here. Suffice it to say that this was one of the most humbling experiences I've ever had in my life. Whatever you've seen on television about New Orleans, or Gulfport or Biloxi is like heaven. Where we were, was truly hell on earth and the outside world has not really discovered its plight yet.

So many of you have said you wished you knew what you could do for people such as these and wanted to know what you could do. If you still feel that way, I would like to suggest something. Send me a money donation so I can turn it into something these people could use. We are all going back as soon as we can. Hopefully, in the next couple of weeks once we've gathered more items. We got the names, sizes, ages of the people we were trying to help out and we're using this as a guideline to purchase items they could use. They need towels, sanitized hand cleaner, baby wipes, socks, etc. These people have nothing. Before I left, I cleaned out my suitcase and gave away most everything I had. This included my clean underwear, an old pair of shoes given to a lady who had worn wet shoes and socks for 4 days, any medicine I had, tee shirts, etc.

I'm attaching pictures that do no justice to what we saw, but may give you an idea of how unbelievable this devastation was and still is.

The salt water hit the trees so hard and long, it's now killed the trees and bushes.

Some portable toilets - I would love to have had one of these.

Two of the many gas lines right off the interstate. Gas got more and more scare the further west we went until there no longer was none. We took extra with us so we could make it home.

Some of the damage in Mississippi. This was one of the gas lines we sat in - this one for 1 hr. 35 mins. And, then we were only allowed to purchase $40 in gas and with cash. We still had gas in cans, but didn't want to use it unless we absolutely needed to. Therefore, we sat in this line as a little insurance for us.

Some of the mangled signs along the interstate. You couldn't even tell where you were as all the exit signs had been blown down. It was my job to turn around and identify the fallen signs from time to time.

Gulfport, MS water tower. The wind has sandblasted the paint off of the legs of the tower.

People lining up to get water. Remember this is in the summertime in the south. It was hot!
One of the many helicopters we saw flying around for various reasons - body recovery, looters, etc.

Military personnel directing traffic in Gulfport since there was no electricity

One of the many cars the storm blew over on the interstate. We saw many, many vehicles which was damaged or had run out of gas.

This was an oil tank you'd find at a gas station that the wind had dropped on the interstate. It had finally been pushed to the side of the road.

A water delivery by helicopter in Kiln, Mississippi.

A car that had been blown into the trees

A boat that was blown into the trees

Highway 90 into Waveland, MS. Notice the depth of the mud and muck. Snow plows from North Carolina had been brought in to try and clear the roads. The smell was incredible.

Hundreds of overturned vehicles going into Waveland which is located on the coast and was virtually wiped out.

A neighborhood in Waveland near the church.

The church where we stayed. You could only enter on one side because a transformer pole was knocked down.

Neighborhood damage.

Train tracks were washed out from the storm surge.

A house that the storm placed in the middle of the washed out train tracks.

A mile in from the beach and no houses left standing.

Someones tool box and a child's picture left on a board

A family picture left among the debris. I just left it laying there - it almost seemed intrusive to disturb personal items.

Law enforcement was in the process of doing a body recovery when we drove by.

Remains of the beach littered with items blown out of homes.

Items left hanging in trees - some 25 feet high in the trees.

The remains of the Waveland Cemetery.

More debris in Waveland.

One of the tents I spent the night in.

If you want or are interested in knowing more, contact me. Any help would be appreciated by those in Waveland.

May God bless us all and make us mindful of the things we take forgranted.
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Notes and comments from friends:

Carol, I am so glad you are back (safe and sound). It must have been a terrible sight, a really helpless feeling.

David's sister lives in Laurel, Miss. and she came home with her baby. No power, water, etc.She said she could not describe how really bad it was. Her husband's family lost their house and everything in it. Her brother-in-laws home had 3 large tree through it and they were trying to salvage what they could.

We sent a trailer full of water, diapers, gas, etc. back with them. Let your Church and it's congregation know they are making a difference in these people's lives.

Lynn Berryhill
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From Teresa Geary in California...

Carol,

The pictures make it so much more real! What an experience for you and your family.

I went through my closet this weekend and boxed up clothes, shoes, sunglasses, baseball hats, etc. I haven't heard of a location to drop these items yet. Everyone is asking for money which I made a large contribution to the Red Cross last week. It was easy to use donate my hair cut & dye budget as well as my yearly upcoming home improvements $. I assume that the refugees flown into Los Angeles will require assistance, which I am sure they will receive alot of. So I don't know if it will behoove me to send you these items, or make the drop in LA. I am more than happy to ship them your way just knowing that they will directly affect the refugees. I also want to get in my bathroom and pull together some of those 'gifts' that I never used. Body lotions and spray, nail polish, manicure sets...all that bath & body stuff that I can do without. If you want to take it....I'll ship this stuff.

I am considering opening my home to refugees. Heidi and Olivia just moved out two weeks ago, so I definitely have room.

I am so glad you are able to make the trip again. What are the gas prices in your area?

Let me know if there are specific items on your list that are difficult to come by. I may have something to send your way.

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This article came from CNN.com and refers to the town that we helped and stayed in.

WAVELAND, Mississippi (AP) -- Hurricane Katrina seemed to take a particular vengeance out on Waveland, Mississippi.

The storm virtually took out Waveland, prompting state officials to say it took a harder hit from the wind and water than any other town along the coast.

Rescue workers there Wednesday found shell-shocked survivors scavenging what they could from homes and businesses that were completely washed away.

The air smelled of natural gas, lumber and rotting flesh. (See the video of corpse recovery efforts in Mississippi -- 3:28)

"Total devastation. There's nothing left," said Brian Mollere, a resident who was left cut and bruised. Katrina tore his clothes off and he had to dig in the debris for shorts and a T-shirt.

Katrina dragged away nearly every home and business within a half mile of the beach, leaving driveways and walkways to nowhere. The water scattered random reminders of what had been normal, quiet lives: family photos, Barbie dolls, jazz records, whiskey bottles.

Fourteen members of Waveland's police department survived the storm by hanging on desperately to a spindly bush.

The town of 7,000 about 35 miles east of New Orleans has been partially cut off because the U.S. 90 bridge over the Bay of St. Louis was destroyed.

There is no power, no phones, no way out -- and nowhere to go. (See the video report of National Guard relief efforts in Mississippi -- 1:18)

State officials would not confirm a death toll in the town, but Mayor Tommy Longo estimated that at least 50 residents died, The Clarion-Ledger in Jackson reported.

City Hall is gone, with nothing but a knee-high mural of a beach scene still standing.

Mollere had set up camp on the wreckage where his family's two-story home and jewelry store once stood. A couple of chairs and a sheet of plastic protected him and his dog from the sun and spits of rain. Mollere doesn't usually smoke, but he sucked on a Kool menthol and collected bottles of whiskey and Barq's root beer that had washed up nearby. He recalled swimming out of the store with the dog as the water rose and finding shelter in a house that survived. "If it had been night, I would have drowned," he said. His 80-year-old mother did drown in the storm. She had evacuated with some family to a grocery store in neighboring Bay St. Louis. As her family members swam away to escape the storm, his mother, who used an oxygen tank, stayed behind.
Mollere's father was a local folk hero for being one of the few people to stay behind in Waveland during Hurricane Camille in 1969. The elder Mollere swam along and grabbed onto a white horse, and both were saved.

On Wednesday, Jim Clack held the hand of his elderly mother, Mercedes Clack, and led her through the rubble of her Waveland home. "You might fall, Mama," he said gently. Mercedes Clack, blocking the glare with wraparound sunglasses, said of her splintered home: "Oh, that was a beautiful house. Remember it?"
She brightened when she found an antique radio and a few of her jazz records. "Do you think they can be salvaged?" she asked her son.

Other sweaty, mud-caked survivors camped out in shopping center parking lots in Waveland and Bay St. Louis, some using tents or mattresses they had been taken from stores. People lined up to get ice and bottled water distributed by emergency workers.

Frank Lombardo said he and his fiancee, Bridgette Favre, tried to weather the storm in their apartment, but moved to a high school in Bay St. Louis when the wind and rain grew too strong. He said he broke into the gym's football supply room to find cloth bandages to wrap some elderly people's wounds.

Marcel and Shannon Whavers and their 2-year-old daughter, Ayanna, stood Wednesday at the end of the devastated bridge that connected Bay St. Louis and Pass Christian. They said they felt cut off from the world. "We're in trouble for a long time," said Shannon Whavers, 29. "What are you going to do?" said her 30-year-old husband. "We saw a guy just lying in the highway, not knowing where to go."

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emails to Jill Wood and back to me...

Hey, thanks for the reply to the email. We will be making another trip to Mississippi soon. In fact, it may be this coming weekend. It all depends if we can get enough things together and get enough of a financial contribution to purchase some items we want to take. Joe and I are totally tapped out after spending more money than we can really even spend. I know though that our Heavenly Father will and does bless us for our efforts. I do feel as though we've not done enough though and it's necessary to do more.

We had one of the most spiritual church meetings on Sunday in the midst of all the horror. Afterwards, I made hundreds of pancakes for countless people as my personal gift to whoever wanted to eat some. For many, it was the first hot meal they'd had in a week. I had taken my griddle and all the fixings for pancakes just in case I could do this and was eventually plugged into a power strip coming from the single generator and was able to cook.

Jill, you cannot believe the horror of it all. New Orleans, Biloxi and Gulfport were like heaven and Joe, Corey and I went to hell. I've now been suffering from something like "survivors guilt" since returning home. I've cried off and on yesterday and today. We welcome any help and contributions. We are trying to purchase washtubs and washboards and laundry detergent for one thing. What good does it do to have clothes given if not able to wash them. We have no communication with the people there since leaving since phone lines are still down. Even if the electricity does come on, it doesn't mean that washing machines will be available.

Gas was non existent the closer you went and we took all our own. A small miracle (one of many) occurred when it came time to go home and someon gave Corey about 80 gallons of gas. Combined with what we had taken and what we were given, we never had to purchase a drop the entire trip home. If anyone is interested in going and or giving, have them give me a call on my cell phone as we're still getting another trip together. We just didn't want to drop off stuff, say have a good life and leave. It was a humbling experience and makes you grateful for all you have.

Did all the pictures come through? If they didn't let me know that also.Thank you for being my friend. Carol

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Hi, Yes they did.

I was in Glennville yesterday and they had a truck theywere loading and I went to Family Dollar and spent $50 in diapers,clothes, socks, forks, spoons, wipes, etc and was talking with the ladyand come to find out she paints and will paint me a baby shoe for Cameron free for my donation. (Harrison had one and when I had Cameron the dr. had went into private practice and the other place had a patent onthe shoe). This shows you can never outgive God. They were marking down onsies and the footed sleepers to $2 so got lots of those. The lady doing said her husband is a dr. from there and went and called and said get things together these people are starving. Bob gave $200 at church Sunday so we are stretching, but also feel guilty when we have so much. Iwill just send you a check and you can purchase-however-if they will take items that I have left over from yard sale (like two of the smallold highchairs, clothes, etc I will get them to you)-just let me know. You are in my prayers for your safety as I know the water contaminationis an issue at this point. I will forward this to others--- Jill

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Hi,

Please send info about Hurricane efforts etc to my personal email at ----------@hotmail.com. Let me know how this weekend went--I spoke to our church this morning about our efforts and their help (our church is going to donate $300 toward our purchases). I will get you a list for the tax purposes later-anyway-I ended up singing a duet with the song leader( my firsttime ever singing in front of a church other than in a chior, playsetting-we sang Thank you Lord for your Blessings on me--our church hopes to also adopt a church so hopefully in that area -since we are actually in the So. Bapt Assoc. One from them (don't matter to me but you know how some folks are!!-but God loves them too. Ha-need a little humor!) Thanks for allowing me to be apart of this and I want to get copies of our pictures, news articles etc and have them laminated for Harrison and Cameron for their scrap books-I feel this was and is anawesome experience for them to learn first hand about what is important in life and about helping others. Like I said in church you don't need FEMA when you Jesus Christ on your side because he is the creator of all and can chose to destroy FEMA, GEMA and all the other alphabet when he so chooses and the Lord will provide for his people and I quoted Jeremiah 29:11- As you know I have been praying for a job closer to home, but maybe the Lord needs me here because I meet so many people just like you!! Take care and keep me posted. Jill

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Hello All!

I know it's been a while since I updated - needless to say, my life's been rather unsettled these days. For those who didn't know, I moved to Jackson, MS to work with the Mississippi Annual Conference of the United Methodist Church to continue working with the advocacy group Congregations for Children, as well as to develop the conference-wide response to children following a disaster. Things are going well, for the most part. Learning "traumatology" and the phases of a disaster have made for a steep learning curve, and many moments of panic. Luckily, I've made contacts with quite a few folks from the Jackson area that have made life easier.

On a personal level, another part of my life is settled - I found an apartment! I've been living with a co-worker who has a generous heart and a spare bedroom/bathroom. After being a nomad for 6 weeks, I'm finally moving into an apartment on Friday. It's a simple one-bedroom, but will serve my purposes perfectly for the next few months. My plan is to return to the coast after the new year. (Pending housing, of course.) Shadow (grey cat) will make the move with me - he's not getting along too well with Max's cats. Fox is fairly docile, and will stay with Max until I can reclaim him.

My new address:
Becky Trask

Ridgeland, MS 39157
Phone: 601

I thank you all for the many thoughts, prayers, and gifts that have been shared with me throughout this time. I am overwhelmed by the generosity and the love.

I wish you all well, and hope your life journey is calmer than mine. =)

Love, Becky

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Hi Becky:

Glad to hear all is going better for you. I can only imagine what you've been going through while I sat cool and comfortable here in South Georgia.

I did, however, make a trip to the coast to do some relief work a week after the hurricane hit and my son and husband have been back several times since then. I confess that I just could not bring myself to go back again. I experienced something like survivor's guilt and cried for a week after returning.

I went through Pensacola, Mobile, Biloxi and Gulfport on my way to Waveland, Miss. before anyone knew about Waveland. I have pictures and memories if you ever want to see them, but I'm sure you've seen enough probably.

Anyway, if there is anything I can do for you personally or that you need, please let me know and I will do my best to see if I can do it. I mean it. Good luck.

Does this mean you're no longer an Outreach Specialist? I was/am hoping to see you in Washington DC in December. If not, God bless you and I hope life improves for you. Carol

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Hey Carol -

I completely understand the desire not to return - I've made several trips back, and each time the destruction grips a part of me that I thought had healed. I would love to see your pictures and hear your stories - they are cathartic to hear AS WELL AS share.

I'm still working for the gulf coast ccr &r , but not the outreach specialist - Lisa Kuzma Crick has taken that role. We're attempting to salvage our R&R - our facility was flooded/ruined, so we're kinda starting over. I'm attempting to recover my data from my computer - it, too, was flooded, but rumor has it that hard drives can be restored. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

I'll inquire about the training in December. If it's specifically for Outreach Specialists, I may not be able to be there. If a "back up" person can be sent, I'll try to get there.

How are things going for you & your program? I hope you are well...

Becky

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Becky:

Here are pictures I took while on my trip along the coast, mainly pictures of Waveland. If they don't come out, I'll try sending them again.

I will confess that I began crying when I read your last email. I cannot begin to tell you I understand what you've been through. I can only say that I understand to the smallest, tiniest degree what you've endured. How grateful and thankful I am to have been spared this pain. I hold my breath everytime a hurrican forms in the Gulf because we've been in the path so many times and then it has changed course. Do you realize that there are three Outreach Specialists/R&R's that are all in the same boat. You, Tricia at Eglin and me here in South Georgia.

Continued good luck. You could be like a woman I met in Waveland and have continued to check on...someone sent a "buttload" of thong underwear for the ladies to wear. She is very happy though that she finally moved into a FEMA trailer last week - along with 200 other ones in the middle of an open field about 50 miles away. But, she's grateful to have a lockable space, electricity and water.

I may be going back over to that area in a couple of weeks. My husband has been asked to coordinate work orders and he may be staying there for a few weeks doing that. I'll be taking him over (a 7-9 hour trip) and dropping him off.

Carol

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Carol -

Thanks for the pictures & the stories & for your compassion for my "neighbors." (My idea of neighbor has truly expanded during the past 6 weeks) May I share your pictures on my blog?
www.happyinthesun.blogspot.com

Even tears are a way of praying.

Blessings on you & your husband as you each find your own way to help.

Becky

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Becky:

You may certainly share my pictures.

I try to explain to people that no matter how bad they (the pictures) look, there is no way they can smell the smells, understand the depth of the piles of debris nor can they feel the aura of the environment in which you stand. Most importantly though, they cannot begin to sense the utter frustration of sometimes just making it mentally one day to the next. I have a great deal of respect for those, such as yourself, who have managed to make improvements from your losses.

Carol

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Thank you, Carol...

I was on the coast yesterday, having a staff meeting with Moore Comm. House staff, trying to reclaim some personal stuff from my office, and helping Lisa connect with NACCRRA software, etc. The repetitive prayer through the day was "if you haven't seen it, you won't believe it." nothing describes the destruction accurately enough, no smell is like what still lingers, and there aren't enough words bad enough to embrace the feeling of being there. I asked Lisa (who lives in Gulfport) if she ever gets used to it - she said - with a small gasp - NO. Each time I've been the smell strikes me first and then the debris, and then the loss - mostly, the loss of security, the loss of hope, and the loss of "normal."

I had lunch with my friends from work and one was giddy over something small that had happened, and apologized for being so excited about something so trivial. My first reaction was - it's the small stuff that makes life what it is. And we don't realize that until so many seemingly small things are taken away. Like the ability to drive down a street or through a drive through for dinner or a movie date or a fresh breath of air. These are things that we remember we've lost.

I do a good job of disassociating from the loss until I'm there. Until I hear my coworkers and friends talk about their personal losses. Then I feel guilty for having left, for having moved on to something "better" even if it is temporary, even if it is part of the relief effort. I feel guilty for not waking up there, every day. My guilt is only assuaged (sp) by the mere hint that i may be doing something worthwhile, after all.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me, and allowing me to share mine. I find that the moments of reflection hit me at random times throughout the day.

Becky

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Hello my friends!

Sorry it's taken SO long for me to re-surface after the wedding & move from Mississippi - you'd never believe how busy being un-employed was, and now, how busy being moderately employed can be. (Case in point - I still can't get my thank-you's done! They ARE coming, I promise!)

For those of you were there, thanks for celebrating our wedding with Max & I. We had an amazing weekend, and wished it could have lasted for a whole week - even for as long as we stretched things out, it still went by MUCH too quickly! For those who couldn't come - we missed you being there. Hopefully our paths will cross again soon!

Our honeymoon to the outerbanks was amazing - we went kayaking, canoeing, boogie boarding (for the 1st and ONLY time!) ... and drove up and down the islands to see all of the sights - birds, lighthouses, alligators, black bears... you name it, max could tell you where & when we saw it... i would ask you what it looks like! =)

We tried to capture as much of the honeymoon to bring home with us as we could, and apparantly, it worked - - - 'cause I'm pregnant! Yup, Baby Blalock is due April 23 (yes, that's 9 months and 1 day after the wedding for those who are quickly trying to do the math...) We heard the heartbeat yesterday morning, and now all holds are released on the self-imposed rule of "we're not telling people yet." Sorry we couldn't tell all of you in person or over the phone - but we're busily trying to adjust to the new reality of our lives! (Now can you understand why I can't get my thank-you's done? I come home from work & collapse onto the sofa, as soon as I've had my meal of the hour.)

I've been feeling good, for the most part - September wasn't anything I want to re-live any time soon, but now I've moved on to the "I eat ALL THE TIME" phase. It's actually a burden to have to eat as frequently as I am hungry, 'cause it requires more thinking ahead, especially when I'm at work.

I hope you are doing well - I miss you all, and hope to see you each soon! Much love - Becky and Max

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I had the opportunity of returning to Waveland a week later, but I mentally could not go. I had cried off and on for a week every time I thought about the condition of those we left behind. Corey and Joe did go back the next week taking clothing and supplies for specific families we'd met at the Waveland Ward. One of the ladies we'd met the week before died during the week from medical complications.

Though Corey and Joe went back again other times, as well as Nikki, I never returned.