I posted this picture because it's one of my favorite ones taken shortly before my move to Wyoming. We'd just had our hair cut and thinking we looked pretty darn great! There were certain things that I used to do for Mom on a regular basis before the move, i.e., take her to get her hair cut (even when she thought it didn't need it), cut her fingernails (which always grew incredibly fast and ALWAYS needed to be trimmed), take her to dinner at Golden Corral most every Wednesday night (since Dad really didn't enjoy going to restaurants) where she would have her piece of steak prepared medium rare with a serving of freshly steamed broccoli and cauliflower, some mashed potatoes and dinner finished off with some peach cobbler a la mode and/or chocolate pie. I miss those doing those things for her and with her.
There are lots of other things we did in the past. I know that Mom loves her Dairy Queen Blizzards - the chocolate covered cherry kind. They had to be made with maraschino cherries, not cherry pie filling, and I always had them add some chopped up pecans too. If she wanted one, I made sure she had one. If they didn't have it on their menu, I told them how to make it because I knew how happy it made her. I remember coming home from Atlanta with Mom one day and, of course, she wanted a Blizzard. I stopped at the first advertised Dairy Queen off the interstate. The water main had broken so the restaurant wasn't serving food at that time. I stopped again at the next DQ - the ice cream machine was broke. I tried again at the next one - this time they were out of chocolate. Yes, I tried again, but this time, this one didn't have maraschino cherries. I tried every Dairy Queen from Atlanta to Tifton until I was finally able to get her Blizzard an exit or two from her own home. I know how much Mom loves going to the movie. I remember even when living in Jacksonville, she would come to visit and she and I would go to the matinee and sit through two or three movies in one day, come back to my apartment, order pizza and watch television. She and I used to pull all night binges of watching movies especially when Les was gone hunting and it was B.C. (before Corey). I'd rent a VCR on Friday afternoon, pick it up, check out several videos and she and I would stay up ALL NIGHT LONG watching movies until our eyes couldn't focus or stay open any longer. And, she was usually the one that could outlast me. Our primary themes for movies where "Harlequin Romance" or comedies. I think the movie that we probably enjoyed the most was "Trains, Planes and Automobiles". We laughed so hard in one section that we had to stop the movie, rerun it, watch it, rerun it again several times. How Dad was ever able to sleep, I don't know.
There were the trips. I'd just stick her in the car with me and off we'd go waving bye to Dad and seeing him several days later. She always had a sense of adventure and was always ready to go on a trip.
She was there with me the days prior to and at the birth of Corey and at the hospital with me during my gallbladder operation. She was with me in her living room a few days before my delivery when she witnessed the flying roach that landed on my swollen belly, ready to give birth, and laughed uncontrollably when I jumped off her couch screaming.
She loved me when I brought shame and dishonor to her and for some reason she seemed to love me more. She held me like a baby during my divorce and dried my tears on so many, many occasions from scrapped knees through all my pains of growing up.
Yes, it's been over a year since I've touched her soft skin, smelled the freshness of her hair, kissed her lips and forehead and wrapped my arms around her. I miss my mom. I miss making memories with her - right now, right here memories. I'm grateful for the old memories for they are what sustain me from time to time when I am unable to speak with her. I know there will most likely come a time when I will no longer be able to speak with her because she will be unable to do so for whatever reason. I feel that widening already taking place and it pains my heart and my soul. I know that some time will come when I will have to look back and realize that she is no longer physically on this earth and I will have missed out on having spent more time with her and making new memories. But, I know, even though I may not hear it as often, I know that my mother loves me and that she always has. She has always loved me unconditionally and unselfishly. What a role model she has been and I hope and pray that my own son will look back one day and loves me as much as I love my own mother. As written in Proverbs 31:
Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
She stretcheth our her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.
I love you Mom and I miss you. What a blessing you are to me.
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