I had one job interview scheduled today, but cancelled it due to the too low pay. No reason to take up someone's time when I wouldn't have accepted the job. I have to believe there's something better to come along. I was shown today what could be our new home. It's a small two bedroom house in a nice neighborhood and in a great location with anything we'd need within a 10 minute drive in any direction. There is even a bus stop a short distance from the house that Joe could utilize and be as mobile as he wants to be. We don't have to worry about the furry kids as there is a fenced in backyard that would be large enough for them. Not lots of running room like they have now, but not too cramped. I know that Blaze will miss heading out to her tree and check out the squirrels like she does now. But, there are trees in both the front and back yards so no telling what hangs out in those trees. Does that mean we've decided to move here? No, not yet, but things seem to be falling into place for us to do so. Tomorrow will most likely have us making definite decisions about things here.
I've been experiencing headaches which is not normal for me. I just think it must be all the things going on i.e., loss of job, lack of finding job in Georgia, pursuit of job here in Wyoming, being away from Joe, being away from family, news of Mom's condition, feeling helpless and unable to do anything other than have long distance conversations. HELP! Calgon take me away! I feel at times as though I'm having an outer body experience and my life is beginning to be out of control. I lost a second job yesterday simply because I am not already living here. But how can I be living here when I'm still living in Georgia. The house will become available by the end of the month. How do I get back to Georgia and pack up a house that I've lived in for 30 years in a matter of a little over two weeks? How do I decide what is important to drag halfway across the United States and what to leave behind? How do we logically transport household items and furniture, two furry kids, a Joe and a Carol across the United States by the end of this month? How do I go away and leave my parents at this time in their lives? How can I move away and feel as though I've deserted them after all the times they never deserted me, that they've both been there to support me? How can I not be there to support them during what could possibly be the hardest part of their married life? Doesn't being the oldest child mean I should be there in times of need rather than have others take over? If I move, I'll never have the chance to be there when they may need me. What is it that the Lord has in mind for me that I can't have stability in my life? Doesn't He know or think that I'd love to have some normalcy? Hey, I'm 56 years old! That's just four years from being 60 and isn't that when most people are retiring and enjoying some simple time together?
I've prayed about all this. Maybe I haven't prayed enough. Maybe I haven't prayed long enough. Maybe I'm not worthy enough to get the answers to all my questions. Maybe I'm not supposed to get answers. I just don't think or know that I've gotten my answers. Yes, I've found two places to live for a somewhat reasonable monthly rental rate in a city that I was told would be virtually impossible to find by everyone. So if I'm allowed to sign a lease, that problem has been taken care of - thus a portion of my prayers have been answered. Have I gotten a job here? Not yet, but prospects are certainly being presented here...that is NOT the case in Georgia. I hung in for five months the last time for a job, can't I/shouldn't I wait another five months this time?
I know I've written about these concerns in some fashion in earlier blogs. What does that
mean? I'm spending too much time alone? I'm spending too much time contemplating and worrying about things I shouldn't? I need to be committed to some funny farm? Am I being insensitive to others problems such as Mom and Dad's? Is that the reason I feel so unsettled? Hey, I did find a Chinese food buffet today for lunch (can't move to a new town without a good Chinese restaurant, right)? When the waitress brought my check, there was the expected fortune cookie laying on top. I anxiously ripped open the cellophane and broke the cookie. Was this the sign, the answer I'd been looking for? You decide and advise...it read "An hour with friends is worth more than 10 with strangers". (It couldn't have read something like "You will experience a life changing event in another state in the coming days :( bummer).--------------------------------------------------------------------
BTW...gas is now $1.89 here.
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