Grandpa Joe meets Derek

It was very interesting watching Joe in his capacity as a new grandparent to Derek. Though he's a grandfather to four beautiful little girls living in Indiana, he hasn't been around them a great deal of time. So, he's not had a lot of exposure being around small children and it's been both scary and funny watching him with Derek. Thank goodness he's had Nancy's grandchildren breaking him in little by little since joining the family almost four years ago. He used to fall asleep sitting on Mom and Dad's couch and wake up with a baby blanket across him, his hair fixed, etc. And, his calling in the Bishopric as the counselor over the Primary, as well as a substitute teacher for the young children in the school system, has definitely broadened his experience as a grandpa.

Sunday with Corey (and Joe and Ally)

...Then there was the Sunday afternoon drive with Corey at the wheel of our ugly blue rented minivan and Ally, Joe and I along for the scenic ride up into the mountains to see the snow. We left Mom in the hotel room to get a nap after the lunch at the clubhouse.

The scenery was breath-taking and spectacular as usual. We went as far up as we could since many of the roads were still closed because of snow. I never tire of the views out West. Maybe it's because the landscape is so much more different than south Georgia.

My favorite part of the day was standing at the top of a mountain looking down on the Salt Lake valley with my son. We hadn't had the opportunity to really talk face to face in a very, very long time and we did that afternoon. We talked so long, that I at least was totally oblivious that Joe and Ally had gotten back into the van while we talked of many things. We talked of our individual happiness with those we loved and married and how fortunate and blessed we were to have Joe and Nikki. We talked about the pride I had in him as a father and a husband, especially since he'd blessed Derek that morning. We talked about some of the things his father was missing since he was no longer on this earth - how blessed I am to see him grow up, become a husband, become a father. It's was so very nice to have that time with him. I could have stood on that mountain all day saying absolutely nothing between us and had a perfectly wonderful day. Unless you've been the mother to only one child, you will never be able to understand what it's like to be a mother of one. You've never had to divide your love among other children. If something happens to that one child, there is no extra, no spare child. Hence my calling Corey my "heir-with-no-spare". But, now there is a spare...sweet Derek.

Mother's Day is this coming this Sunday. What a lucky mom I am! I love my son with all my heart. How proud I am of who he has become. It wasn't easy for us as mother and child just a few years ago. After Les left it caused Corey and I to re-examine our lives and see where we went from there. I've always said that if it were not for the strength of Corey and our love for each other, I would never have gotten to this point in my life. A mother always wants to be a good example for her children and I feel like I let him down on many occasions. I hated that I felt so vulnerable at times and not a strong person, not counting being his mother. Even from the time he was small, I sometimes would wonder what made me so special to be his mom, that no other woman couldn't have done? I could write a list of all the things I wish I'd done differently - things that could have made him an even better person. How about real family prayer? How about real family meals together? How about daily scripture study? I asked him one time after the divorce if he thought I could or should have done anything differently? You see, I didn't want him going on the "Jerry Springer Show" sometime when he was older and blaming his life on me. He told me that he knew I'd done everything I could possibly have done to have saved the marriage. He told me that I he was proud of me for being a strong person. Boy, did I have him fooled! But, I am grateful that that is how he saw me.

How do I want my son to remember me? Hmmm, let's see:

• The fun times we had going back and forth to daycare;
• That I attended all of his school functions;
• The unusual mother-made packed school lunches envied by his friends;
• Our special trips and cultural opportunities - Riverdance; Phantom of the Opera; Europe; Simon and Garfunkle; Elton John; the Westin's Heavenly Bed; Buffalo, NY in the summer; two week trip out West through 16 states (remember the hotel in Little Rock, Arkansas with the hole in the wall?); etc.
• Tiger Scouts, Cub Scouts, Boy Scouts and working on our Eagle Scout award and getting it!;
• Riding the dirt roads and interstates with the music blaring and windows down;
• Cake cones;
• That I took him to Seminary every morning when he wasn't driving no matter how cold or dark it was;
• I'm sure I'll add more things later or he may even do so, but most of all, I want my son to know that...
• I always did and always will love him.

Happy Mother's Day to me!

The Day We Were Sealed In The Temple

For Time and All Eternity

April 12th dawned as a beautiful day - perfect to be sealed to your sweetie for time and all eternity. We all arrived at the Mt. Timpanogas Temple about 10:00 with Corey and Nikki, as well as Mom and Ally. What a fantastic feeling to be sealed in the same temple as Corey and Nikki and have them be there with us, as well as Mom. I only wished that Dad could be there as well, but since travel is difficult for him, we knew that wouldn't ever be a reality. But, I knew he was there in spirit.

We were very lucky to have some old friends with us there that day - Stan Clark who lives in Ashton, Idaho, Erin and Doug Carlson, Melissa Nickle and Sam and Kris Bell. Almost all served as missionaries in Tifton - the ones who didn't are the newlyweds, Erin and Doug and Sam and Kris. Doug and Sam (Samatha) were instrumental in Joe joining the Church. Elder Clark and his wife served in Tifton shortly after my divorce and they were very special to Corey and I.

Afterwards most of us went to lunch together and got to spend more time together. It was a perfect day, spent with people that I love the most. It was truly a bit of heaven.

Utah here we come...

I made this widget at MyFlashFetish.com.

Sightseeing with Grandmother - Part 2

Sorry, forgot these pictures and didn't know how to add them onto the other slide show. And, I couldn't figure out how to get Grandmother off her side - almost looks like she's trying to lie down - imagine that! These pictures were all made inside the Visitor's Center.

Sightseeing with Grandmother in Salt Lake City - 4/11/08

On Friday, Corey, Nikki, Derek, Ally, Joe and I took Grandmother sightseeing in downtown Salt Lake City since she'd never been to Utah before. She got to ride in style as Corey pushed her all around the area. We visited the Conference Center where General Conference is broadcast, went to the Joseph Smith Memorial Building where we saw the movie "Joseph Smith: Prophet of the Restoration, went and viewed the inside of the Tabernacle where they did the "pin dropping" exhbit to demonstrate the acoustics of the building and we went into the inside of the Visitor's Center and viewed the Christus Statue.

Mother and Child

While in the process of still reviewing pictures taken on our last trip to Utah, I came across this one I took of Nikki and Derek which is one of my favorites. To me this shows true love of a mother for her child. It also brings back memories of how sweet a baby feels while in those rare quiet moments. If you look closely you will notice that Derek has his hand securely planted down along the inside edge of Nikki's blouse. How fortunate I felt to have also been initiated into this practice, as well as his great-grandmother Hazel.

Nothing Went As Planned

Ever had one of those days when nothing went as you planned? Sure you have. I seem to have them most every day. Anyway, my original plans for today as planned last night were to not even leave my driveway. All I was going to have to do today was prepare my Sunday School lesson. At 9:45 a.m., I was backing my car out of the driveway. See where this is going? I had to make a mad dash to our local post office before it closed early on Saturday and mail off my certified, return receipt requested travel voucher before the 24-hour deadline was over. This all according to the airline's instructions from last evening.

I came back home and showered after I decided that it would be a good day to go visit people who we thought needed visiting. When we were finally public presentable, we went to the bank for some "quick" business that lasted 30 minutes. Then it was on to drop off stuff at Nancy's and Mom and Dad's - that wasn't quick either. I had really wanted to visit with Aunt Rachel today and had even taken my camera for some nice picture-taking and you never know what you might see riding down the highway. Got to her house and voila, she was gone. Nix that idea.

Aunt Alice was next on the list for visitation. We drove up in her driveway and she was getting ready to leave and no time to visit. Nix that idea too. What is this?! We showered and used deodorant this morning. I even had on makeup. So our next visitation was taking us to Fitzgerald to visit a friend. We took that scenic back road where no one lives and it makes Ocilla seem like it's a million miles away. But, finally after passing through Ocilla and arriving in Fitzgerald, we discovered the friend wasn't home either. We ran some errands, decided to make one last drive by (sounds like we were gunning for someone, huh) and finally had success. On our way home, we decided to stop by Don and Susie's. They had to be home, right? After all, Don just came home from the hospital and couldn't go far? Yes, a second success!!!

I've decided that being compassionate is not an easy thing. First off, there went my sleeping in on Saturday, getting showered and dressed, driving all over the countryside and no one home. Who came up with this brilliant idea anyway? And, to make up for wonderful, lost sleep this morning I WAS going to go to bed early, but that didn't work out either as evidenced by the time of this posting. But, I'm outta here now...

My One and Only Time for Karaoke

Coming home from work today, a song came on the radio that brought back memories...my one and only time of singing karaoke. I was at a conference in north Georgia with several child care professionals from various agencies.

One night it was decided that we would all go to the hotel bar and do karaoke singing. Somehow, after sipping on my diet Pepsi, and some prodding from my "friends", I got up a weird nerve and decided that I would try it and I did. Scared to death I was, but somehow I managed to get through it. And, received comments afterwards that I had done a great job.

The surprising thing was that out of all the songs to sing, I picked one from the Vietnam War period about mind altering drugs. So for your enjoyment, "White Rabbit" by Jefferson Airplane

One pill makes you larger and one pill makes you small
And the ones that mother gives you don't do anything at all
Go ask Alice when she's ten feet tall.
And if you go chasing rabbits and you know you're going to fall
Tell 'em a hookah smoking caterpillar has given you the call
Recall Alice when she was just small.
When men on the chessboard get up and tell you where to go
And you've just had some kind of mushroom
and your mind is moving slow.
Go ask Alice I think she'll know
When logic and proportion have fallen sloppy dead
And the White Knight is talking backwards
And the Red Queen's "off with her head!"
Remember what the dormouse said "Feed your head, feed your head"

Just the kind of song one would think a nice Mormon mom would sing for karaoke, huh? Hey, I was 17 years old and loved the way the song sounded and didn't understand the words. Click on the blog title and maybe you'll see why I loved it.

Comments from the Peanut Gallery

Well folks, sister Nancy informed me tonight that my comment setting had not been activated. So, for all interested commentators, the peanut gallery is now open. Comments, questions, rebuttals, etc. are now available for publication. Remember, sticks and stones may hurt my bones, but words will never harm me. And keep in mind that I'm the one who sends unusual, hand-picked just for you cards when others may not.

The Hummingbird

It was a beautiful morning when I woke up. (Well, as beautiful as it can be when you have to get up at 6:15 a.m.) I'd gotten to sleep with the windows open and the blinds raised and had actually slept all night. (Wearing earplugs helps a lot). Anyway, while dressing for work I looked out the window and there was a hummingbird hovering over one of my wild rose bushes. It was incredible - so small, so unusual, so unexpected. I woke Joe up to tell him and then it disappeared before I had the chance to show him or grab my camera. But, I just knew it was an omen. An omen that this was going to be a fantastic day. After all, how many times does a hummingbird just show up out of the blue?

When I arrived at work I even told Tami, my boss lady, it was going to be a fantastic day because I'd seen the hummingbird. All went well until about 9:00 a.m. and then the day seemed to steadily decline. Not necessarily for me as my day proceeded with the usual questions about insurance, customer service calls from clients, calls about submitted applications, calls from truck drivers, etc. But, for everyone else it seemed as though it soon became a very unwanted day more so than usual. Isn't it wonderful to not be the aim of potential, impending doom and gloom for once?! Isn't it nice being on the outside looking in for once?! It was the kind of day that I even had to go into Tami's office, close the door and suggest that a word of prayer might be needed and she agreed. How thankful I felt to have been the helper this time around; the one who could offer my strength, a listening ear and a big hug. But, isn't even nicer to know that she was there for me in previous days doing exactly the same thing...Offering her shoulders to cry on and her listening ear. It was a further confirmation for me that I am truly at the right place at the right time for the right reasons.

I feel truly blessed at this juncture of my life to be seemingly reaching a little balance in my life - at least between my marriage and my job and that's been a long time coming. Like I said, I'm blessed! However, the next time I see a hummingbird first thing in the morning when dressing for work, I may have to shoot that omen with my BB gun instead of my camera!

For Dad: It's Kermit the Frog

What a special time I had singing this song with Dad this morning and in the past. We've always shared a love of the Muppets and this has always been one of our favorite songs.

However, Dad, you'll do much better if you have the words, so here they are. Just click on the title and the song will begin. Minimize the music and sing along with these words. And, who knows, it might become a favorite of others too.

Written by Paul Williams and used by Kermit the Frog of The Muppets

Why are there so many songs about rainbows
And what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,
And rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we've been told and some choose to believe it
I know they're wrong, wait and see.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers and me.

Who said that every wish would be heard and answered
when wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that
and someone believed it,
and look what it's done so far.
What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing?
And what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
the lovers, the dreamers and me.
All of us under its spell,
we know that it's probably magic....

Have you been half asleep and have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors?
The voice might be one and the same.
I've heard it too many times to ignore it.
It's something that I'm supposed to be.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
the lovers, the dreamers and me.

La, la la, La, la la la, La Laa, la la, La, La la laaaaaaa

Sunday morning reflections

As you may know, every Sunday morning I have to drop Joe off at the chapel by 7:00 a.m. for his bishopric meeting. I then go on to Mom and Dad's house and spend time with them until it's time to go to church. I have become their Sunday morning chauffeur to church. It's a very wonderful and restful time for me. Usually I show up at their house dressed like some reject bag lady wearing some old dress, old thrown on shoes, hair in rollers, etc. I always offer a silent prayer that we're not in some type of accident on the way to the chapel and always make sure there is plenty of gas in the car so that running out of gas is not an option.

Most mornings, I may stretch out on their couch for some more sleep. However, this morning I had the opportunity to spend some time with Dad showing him how to set up his new blog and then we spent some time "spying" on other bloggers and their bloggings. We've come to the conclusion there are some really strange people on the internet. But, every once in awhile we'd run across some very poignant blog written by someone talking about someone special in their life or memories that they remember. Isn't that why we write them...so someone we love can smile or shed a few tears or nod their head when they read something we write? They can say "Wow, I'd forgotten all about that" or "wow, I never knew that before"?

Anyway, after looking at the blogs this morning, it definitely gave me a chance to pause and reflect on my life in the last couple of weeks. There have been so many highs and lows with a very minimal amount of "normalcy". To illustrate this here goes...

The anticipation and excitement of our trip to Utah. The arduous travel getting there...changed flights...stopover in Nashville...l-o-n-g layover in Chicago...late arrival in Salt Lake and finally making it to our motel room at 1:30 a.m. after having to swap rental cars and then driving almost an hour south of Salt Lake...Corey popping into our hotel room that morning and seeing him for the first time since November...later on that morning getting to see my favorite daughter-in-law. Nikki, (remember, my only one) and most exciting and wonderful of all - meeting my new grandson, Derek! What an experience that was. More on that later as that warrants a whole blog by itself. Continuing on...seeing and playing in falling snow...Mongolian Barbecue...taking Mom to Salt Lake City...seeing the Joseph Smith movie again...touring Temple Square...eating at Pei Wei...being sealed in the Mt. Timpanogas temple...Nikki being my escort, Corey being Joe's...quiet time together for Joe and me...seeing old friends - Stan Clark, Melissa Nickle, Doug Carlson (and Erin), Sam Robinson (and Kris)...lunch together at Wings...Derek's blessing on Sunday...luncheon afterwards...excursion in the snowy mountains with Ally, Joe and Corey...Nikki's enchiladas!!!...reading emails and discovering Missy was being brought home from Emory...Cabela's...looking for gifts for people back home...babysitting for Derek for a few hours...dinner with Nikki, Corey and Derek and Mom and Joe...back to the motel to pack every one's suitcases...driving to Corey and Nikki's home for one last kiss for Derek, one last hug from Nikki and one last hug and kiss from Corey...drive to the airport....boarding on time...de-icing the plane because of falling snow...stopover in Denver - 80 degree weather...15 minute changeover in Nashville...running, running, running to catch flight...made it! Crew had saved three seats in front that was perfect! Uneventful flight to Jacksonville...last flight in...barely got to pick up luggage...lucky to have reserved room at hotel or we would have had none...breakfast at Denny's at 1:00 in the morning...slept in until last possible moment and finally arrived back home Wednesday evening. Back to work...saw Missy for the last time...Don put in hospital to have open heart surgery...Johnny put in the hospital with mild stroke...Missy died ...her visitation with Amy, Jerry and Shirley...Missy's funeral...news about Michael Kemp. I've tried to think of how to end this blog, but can't come up with anything witty or earth-shattering so I'll leave that up to you.

Some accompanying pictures are below. Just click on the link and if you place your cursor at the top left hand side on "original size", the slide show will start. Isn't that wonderful?!

http://www.slide.com/r/Ooo1WG395D9_Hau3763QLZBCRYKp2HkD?previous_view=mscd_embedded_url&view=original

Saying Goodbye To A Friend

What can I say about Missy Sunday? Lots and lots of things and they're all good. Who is Missy and why would I want to say anything about her? Simply put, Missy is a friend of mine and she's dying. She's 37 years, the mother of three, the wife of a man she's been with for about 18 years and she's dying.

I've known Missy for many, many years. I first met her when I was a family child care provider and I used to come into the Child Care Resource and Referral Office to make copies and laminate things. She was working as an intern for the office at the time and later began working there full-time. Since I was in and out a great deal of time, I got to know her and later when I began working at the R&R myself, we became co-workers as well as friends. We were part of the original group of R&R staff as well as Jerry Walker, Shirley Alexander and Amy Page.

Missy was definitely a southern girl. She spoke with an accent that you could "cut with a knife", she taught at Vacation Bible School every year it seemed, as well as children's Sunday School classes. Every Wednesday afternoon she could be seen throwing something together for VBS that night and always managed to have something ready by the time she left. She loved her family! Her family meant more to her than most things. She used to make me laugh with the stories she told about the antics of her family...Her Dad with a baby alligator and the pet deer, her Momma, Matt's love of fishing, Haley hating to start school and having a stomach ache most every day, Hannah becoming a young lady realizing boys weren't so bad and Jamie being the love of her life.

Missy loved to cook and clean and anytime I'd ever been to her home, you could have probably eaten off the floor. She used to bring her ice cream churn to the office every once in a while and make homemade ice cream and it was fantastic. She could also make fantastic cakes and we got to be her guinea pigs when she tried out new ones. No one ever died from her cooking!

She was soft-spoken, always acted and looked like she was in control of her life, she was kind to everyone, never wanted to hurt any one's feelings and because of that sometimes got her feelings hurt and Missy cared for people in many ways - whether through her thoughts, her words or her actions. Missy eventually left the R&R and so every time I went up and down the interstate near Exit 80, I would swing by her home and pop in if she were home. Lately I had missed her more than saw her.

Unfortunately, life wound up being unkind to her. She became ill with leukemia in 2006 and began having to fight for her life. She managed to beat it for awhile. She went into remission in April of 2007. Then in the last part of February of 2008 the leukemia became active again. She went through a study at Emory University Hospital in Atlanta that had never been tried before for patients who had relapsed or didn't respond well to therapy originally. Only 42 people in the U.S. got to be in that study and only four from Emory. She got to be one of the four!

About that time, Amy sent me an email saying she was coming to south Georgia for a meeting and wondered if all of us could get together for dinner the following Tuesday. So, Jerry, Shirley, Amy and I did so, without Missy since the last we'd heard she was at Emory. I sent her the following note to her hospital website:

SATURDAY, MARCH 08, 2008 07:52 AM, CST

Hi Missy:

I had a wonderful experience last Tuesday that I wish you could have been part of. Jerry, Shirley, Amy and I had dinner together for the first time in forever it seems. Though you were not there in body, you were there with us as we fondly remembered you as we reminisced about "the good ole days" when we worked together and about our lives now. We must have done a l-o-t of reminiscing 'cause we were there for almost three hours!!! Wow, that was almost one hour for each of us and just think, you could have made it another hour! Hurry and get well so we can all get together again.
You are in my prayers everyday, as well as your family. Be strong - I love you.

Carol Weaver carolcweaver@hotmail.com
Omega, GA

I was really surprised and pleased when she sent me the following in response:

From: msunday@windstream.net
To: carolcweaver@hotmail.com
Subject: jealous
Date: Sat, 8 Mar 2008 11:42:27 -0600

I am so glad you all were able to get together, I'm jealous. I wish I could have been the. The only time I am not at home is on Monday's and that is the day I go to Atlanta each week. Stop by and see me sometime. How is Corey and Joe?
Missy

I then sent her my response never knowing that it would be my last email to her: Had I known that, I would have said more about her, how my life was better knowing her, recalling past experiences, etc.

RE: jealous‏
From: Carol Weaver (carolcweaver@hotmail.com)
Sent: Sat 3/08/08 9:10 PM
To: msunday@windstream.net

Well shucky darn...you would have been home on Tuesday, huh? Amy had not known anything about you until I told her the other day and then when we got together Tuesday is when Shirley found out. And, I thought she'd already known about you. And, I had the impression you where up at Emory most of the time. Next time, I'm gonna check and make sure! We all decided though that we had to do this more often - every time Amy is down this way we are planning on getting together. I've visited quite often with Shirley, see Jerry occasionally on Sunday afternoons and speak with Amy quite frequently. It was so funny listening to us the other night between talking about grandchildren, our children, our nephews and nieces, our jobs, other people, etc., there weren't too many lapses in conversation. Jerry dressed up in some of her funky earrings, Shirley looked like she was going to church, Amy's hair has grown out again and she still laughs like she always did and me, well I was me.

We found us a table back in the corner, asked them to turn down the country music a little so we could hear better and pigged out on food and conversation. I loved it! It's amazing and wonderful to me that we could all still love each other and enjoy each others companionship. You were really missed. If I had known you were home, I would have come and got you myself if necessary. Like I said, next time I'll personally check on you!

Corey is wonderful. I can't remember if you've seen pictures of Derek yet? Corey called me today so excited. He had Derek fastened in his car seat sitting in Corey's 4 wheel drive truck and they were heading up for a little "guy time" in the mountains. He said he had plenty of diapers and enough bottles and he was sure he'd find a place to warm one up when needed. He was letting Nikki get a little downtime and he was out with his boy. After so much exposure to daycare kids, he's not afraid or too proud to change a diaper and doesn't mind it at all. We're flying out to finally meet my grandchild next month and I'm so looking forward to that.

Joe is doing fine. He did have two places cut off his back recently and they were cancerous, but the Dr. said he got it all. Two more places were cut out this week and we're hoping for the same result on those. He's started doing substitute teaching and it's just changed his whole outlook on life! It's like his self-worth has been elevated and he feels as though he's really contributing to our life. I'm loving it! and hearing about his exploits during the day with the little "snot-pickers" as he calls them.

I finally got a job and have now been there two weeks. Losing my job with the R&R has been the best thing for me. I'm not traveling long distances now, have super great benefits, work with a wonderful boss lady and also for the general manager when he needs something done. I've lost 6 lbs. in the last two weeks from all the walking and movement - that's an unexpected benefit. So life is great for me. I was getting a little panicky as I wasn't finding anything after months of trying, but the Lord knew what I needed and he came through!

Missy, I know everyone asks you if you need anything or if they can do anything for you. It sounds so cliche, but I am asking you, if you need anything, please let me know. I'm a terrible person who does try to keep in contact, but fall short of it. I have stopped by most every time I've been up or down the interstate, but always seems to miss you. But, I'll keep trying.

Hang in there. It's been my experience that when things seem to be the worse, that something good always happens. and, if it had not been for the bad thing, the good thing would never have happened. Do I make sense? Remember, "there needs to be opposition in all things". Take care. I love you.

Carol
----------------------------------------------------
One of the best experiences I had with Missy and her daughter, Hannah, was when we went to Denver, Colorado with Julia Reifenberger to a national family child care conference (see the picture at the top). It was the first time on a airplane for both Missy and Hannah which made it even more fun for me. We all went out the day before the conference began so we could do some sight-seeing. One of the things we did was go up into Rocky Mountain National Park and got to see mountain goats and the gorgeous scenery. Coming home from the conference we spent the evening in the airport waiting for our midnight flight home. We virtually had the airport to ourselves and took our shoes off and lounged on the seats. We made it to our homes just as the sun was rising.

I got word last week while in Utah that Missy had taken a turn for the worse and was being brought home from the hospital to her mother's home and that Hospice was being brought in. I had received an email that Missy had 2-5 days to live as she had a bacterial infection that the doctors could not stop and it was entering her brain. The night after we arrived home, Joe and I went to see her. The following email tells about my experience as explained to the women at the R&R...

From: Carol Preston
Sent: Friday, April 18, 2008 11:30 AM
To: 'rcamarillo@kac-ccrr.org'
Subject: Missy

Good morning: I wanted you to know that Joe and I went to visit with Missy last night. I had been forewarned about what shape she was in and how she now looked, but nothing really could prepare me. My heart felt like it was breaking and the lump in my throat became so large I felt as though I couldn't swallow when I saw and spoke with her. When we arrived, Jamie was outside and we spoke for awhile and then he went inside to see how Missy was doing. Hannah saw me and came over and hugged me - she seemed to be holding up well considering. He said she'd had a bad day and didn't know whether she was awake and would even know who we were. He came back out and told us to come on in - she wanted to see us. I had brought along a Dairy Queen peanut buster parfait as a favor to Jerry. We knew she would most likely never eat it, but it was the remembrance. Used to every time we went to Atlanta for a meeting or conference, we always stopped at a Dairy Queen for a treat - usually a peanut buster parfait. And, each time we completed the provider newsletter, Jerry would always treat us to a DQ treat. Missy smiled when she saw it and said we'd just have to give it to Jamie. I promised her another one when she felt better.
We didn't stay long. I could tell she was very weak and struggling to speak. We told each other we loved one another and we left. My heart ached for her and Jamie, the kids and her family.

When we got back from our flight the night before last, I had to hurry to my email and see if I still had the last email that Missy and I had exchanged shortly before I left for Utah. I had. And then, I had to look at pictures I had of her. I think that's especially why I was so shocked by her present appearance. The only thing that looked like her was her eyes. I just wanted to hold her and take some of her pain away, but obviously can't. I wanted to kiss her when I left, but didn't for fear of contaminating her somehow.

We had another brief conversation with Jamie. He said he was still waiting to go on an airplane ride with me somewhere - a running joke we've had for years. Renee, it took every thing I had to not break down in front of her and then in front of everyone we passed in the house. We got in the car, drove down the road and then I flooded. I knew it was the last time I'd ever get to see her and that hurt alot! When we got back to Tifton, Joe and I then went to the hospital to check on Johnny. Shirley sent me the email yesterday about her taking him to the hospital. He looked good - considering. Anyway, I spoke with Jerry at their place in Blackshear and Amy yesterday so everyone is up to date unless something else has happened this morning that I am not aware of. If you hear anything, please let me know at this email address.

Thanks. :)
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I've kept thinking through all of this - how great it would have been had Missy and her family been members of the Church. They could have such comfort in the knowledge that they could be an eternal family. They could have had the blessings of the priesthood in their home and lives. I know how grateful I am for the testimony and faith that I have of this.
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It's Monday and I received a phone call at work this morning that Missy passed away in her sleep this morning. I feel a sense of relief, yet I feel a great sense of loss for her family, for me and anyone else who knew her. Her visitation will be held tomorrow and Jerry, Shirley, Amy and I will be going together and be with Missy one last time. We are then planning on going to a Dairy Queen, getting a peanut buster parfait and toasting a dear friend knowing that she would appreciate our token of love.
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As planned, we went to Missy's wake. It seemed everyone in Ashburn and Sycamore had come to pay their respects. How wonderful to have been loved by so many and that they would take the time to show that love. We waited in line for almost an hour and a half before we saw her in the casket. Amy and I just held hands and wept. Since she'd lost all her hair and hated to wear a wig, a ballcap had been placed on her head. It just seemed so surreal to see her lying there. And then it was so hard to speak with Jamie. What can you say? What can you do?
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Tiffany rode with Joe and me to the funeral. When we got to the very crowded church, we sat with Jerry and Amy. I cannot describe the feeling that came over me when they closed her casket. Jerry, Amy and I all reached for each other's hand instantaneously. It was as though the finality of her life hit you. It was a beautiful funeral presided over two of her minister's. It was wonderful to sit and listen to stories about her life and be able to nod agreeing from time to time. So, with all that probably needs to be written, my story of Missy comes to a final end. May our Heavenly Father find a special place for her in heaven - maybe taking care of some of the little ones who are missed by their families.

Derek in the Tabernacle on Temple Square - 4/18/08

Can You Say Jet Lag?!?!

We've made it back from Utah and here it is almost 1:30 in the morning and I should be sleeping - Joe is. Earlier in the day I would have given anything for a hot shower and a nap. So what happened? JET LAG! My body thinks it's only 11:30. Since we've arrived home, I've checked the mail, partially unpacked, sorted dirty clothes into piles, done a load of whites, balanced my checkbook, called the car rental place in Utah to give them a piece of my mind - part two will come when I speak to the manager, fixed a couple of bologna sandwiches, reviewed all my pictures I took on our trip, watched "Men In Trees", changed the light bulbs in the kitchen, figured out what I'm wearing to work in the morning (oops...this morning), printed out some pictures for my "grandma's brag book", etc. Whew, now I think I'm ready for bed. More on the Utah trip later especially about my fantastically wonderful new grandson! P.S. I think my friend Maxine says it best.

Go West Young Girl!!!

Well, it's the last night before the exodus out west begins with Joe, Mom and me. It's after 11:00 when I should be in bed. Afterall, I still have to work a full day tomorrow before we take off to spend the night in Jacksonville. So, why am I still up??? You look at the picture and maybe that will begin to explain why I'm not counting sheep. The bed is covered with a large suitcase for Joe, a large suitcase for Mom and two smaller ones for me. They're still on the bed since I'm still waiting for needed clothes to dry. (It's the last load, thank goodness)! You try packing suitcases for three people who are leaving 70-80 degree weather and arriving in a place where you found out it was snowing today. I figure between the three of us there are: 24 pairs of underwear, countless sweaters, 2 dresses, 1 suit, 2 ties, a couple of slips, a half dozen shoes, lots of socks, 2 large cans of boiled peanuts, presents for Derek, enough medicine to open up a family pharmacy, hot rollers, Joe's special hairbrush, pants, jeans, blouses, shirts, etc., etc., etc. And, remember no suitcase can weigh over 50 lbs.

The dogs, BJ the Dog and Blaze, were bathed by Joe today and delivered to Granddaddy tonight. He figured it was a fair trade to swap Grandmother for the dogs. The neighbors have been told to be on the lookout for persons who might want to invade our homestead while we're gone, the money taken out of the savings account, the post office is holding our mail, and I've remembered to collect all the airline, hotel and car rental confirmation paperwork.

I'm sure this will be a memorable flight for everyone involved. Hopefully, Mother Nature will cooperate, hopefully flights will run on time so we can make our connections, hopefully luggage won't get lost, hopefully we can manage to flag down one of those beeping stretched out golf carts to move us from one gate or terminal to another, hopefully the bathroom lines won't be too long, etc., etc., etc.

I could go on and on, but thank goodness for everyone that the dryer just buzzed!!! :) That means maybe I can go to bed by midnight and get up in six hours.

1. 1. Cashier at Hardee's in Valdosta while attending Valdosta Technical College. I had all the french fries I ever wanted to eat; hated cleaning the milkshake machine; taking orders for "erenge" sodas (that means "orange"). Left because I moved to New Jersey when Dad came back from Vietnam.


2. 2. Secretary in the printing department at Deborah Heart and Lung Center in Brownsville, New Jersey. I had to get a chest x-ray there every six months to discover if I'd contracted tuberculosis from any of the patients. You got stuck on the elevator with people wearing masks to prevent them from coughing TB germs all over you. This is where I met and worked with my best friend Ericka (Ricki) McPherson who became a member of the Church. She and I were the only females in a sea of young, eligible males since we were living on or beside two military bases. That's a whole story in itself. Left because I moved back to Georgia.


3. International Harvester - secretary at a business that sold farm implements. If I remember correctly, I left because I moved to Jacksonville, Florida.


4. Holiday Inn as a desk clerk. I did this in the evening out of sheer boredom from living in south Georgia. Left because I moved to Atlanta.


5. Kelley Manufacturing Company as a departmental secretary and then promoted as a Junior Buyer. left due to layoff. Moved to Atlanta.


6. Physical Therapist at Tift Regional Hospital. I can't remember how I got this job and how I was turned loose to perform physical therapy on hospital patients! Scary, huh? Can't remember why I left, hmmmmm.


7. Furniture salesperson/secretary. Got my purse stolen one day when a group of young thugs distracted me and the others stole my purse. The purse was recovered many years later where it had apparently been thrown by the side of the road near the country club and discovered by a man who called me to return the purse. I think the business went out of business.


8. A legal secretary for Wells Fargo Pony Express in Atlanta left for another job. A legal secretary for a man who became a district attorney; Left to have baby. A legal secretary for a very powerful and well known attorney in south Georgia. Left because the man intimidated me everyday! Took me 10 months to get the nerve to tell him I was quitting.


9. Worked as a departmental secretary for Honeywell Corporation in Atlanta. Left to move down to south Georgia to start married life away from Atlanta.


10. First real job away from home in Jacksonville was as lease department secretary for Duval Motors - largest Ford dealership in the U.S. Can't remember why I left, but I do know that I got a job working for...


11. Secretary for the City of Jacksonville in their Utility Regulatory Department. Took complaints from unhappy people every day all day long. Left here to move back to Tifton because of broken hearted relationships.


12. Worse job ever...worked at the Diagnostic Veternarian Lab for two weeks only!!! I unpacked strange packages delivered by UPS which would contain dead animals, dead animal body parts, etc. some preserved in formaldahyde, some not. Watched dead cows being dissected, smelled animal body parts toasted over bunsen burners all while wearing white pants, white shirt, white shoes, white lab coat. Great money, but not worth gagging and smelling nasty everyday!!!


13. Technical assistance consultant for child care resource and referral agency covering ten counties in south Georgia. Later became project manager over 25 child care providers in special Air Force project.


14. Secretary for the USDA as a temporary job for several months.


15. Worked for marketing firm until boss kept coming onto me and making promises he wouldn't keep.


16. Trainer/Consultant for Lakeshore Learning Materials. Conducted trainings and workshops all over the U.S.; and


17. Now I'm an assistant to the Human Resources Manager at a Food Commissary warehouse. (We supply all the items that restaurants use from staff t-shirts to the t-bone steaks and everything in between). We have almost 300 employees at our distribution center.


18. more as I think of them.

What A Difference One Week Can Make In Your Life

I started looking at all the family blogs tonight realizing it had been awhile since I'd posted anything. So, I began thinking about what I would write and then it came to me...what a difference one week can make in a persons life.

One week from now I will have been sealed in the Mt. Tippanogas temple for time and all eternity to the love of my life. What a journey that's been and that's a whole different story to write about at a later time. At this point, I can only imagine what the day will have gone like - a mixture of excitement with me most likely shedding tears with mascara running down my cheeks, grateful that someone loves me as much as Joe does, looking around the room and seeing my son and my daughter-in-law, my mother and loving friends sharing this experience with us. And then the next day being able to watch my first grandchild blessed by my son and seeing my husband stand in the prayer circle while I most likely shed more tears with mascara running down my cheeks. Wow, how blessed I will be!

But before any of that happens, there'll be the flight out to Utah with Joe and Mom with the layover in Chicago. I'm sure that will have the makings of another interesting story. At this point, I cannot imagine what it will be like to finally meet my grandchild for the very first time. How will he act towards me? Will he cry when I hold him because he wants someone other than me? What will he smell like? How will he feel when I hold him in my arms? I can hardly wait to get those questions answered. Three days and counting...

A "Grandmother Pang"

Nikki and Corey though you may never know what a "grandmother pang" is, I want to try and explain it for you.

Earlier today you attempted to send me new pictures of Derek just in time to spread around at church for some weekly brag time for me. Unfortunately, the pictures were too large for my telephone and I was unable to open the files. When I called Corey about this, he suggested I check your website as Nikki was going to add more pictures to your blog.

Happily, and very excited to see new pictures of Derek, I hurried home to get on my computer to check them out. How wonderful the first picture was - you with Derek sleeping on your chest. The second picture - Derek wide awake and looking so cute. Then picture three rolled up and my smile froze and my heart began to ache. It was the picture shown above of your mom, his other grandmother holding him and that's when I had my first "grandmother pang". Tears began to roll down my face as I looked at this picture. It wasn't jealousy, it wasn't envy, it wasn't resentment - it was a "grandmother pang". I don't know if there is such a word, but here is my own personal definition...to have a sudden physical hurt, a heart ache, as a result of the inability to share the same space or moment of closeness experienced by others. This particularly occurs when other grandparents are involved and such occurrences are documented visually and can be seen by other grandparents. That was my "grandmother pang".

I am reminded on an almost daily basis how life changes and with those changes we are able to experience happy and sad times. Corey, you are my one and only child no matter how old you are and with it brings the knowledge that I as a mother never had to divide my love for you amongst other children. I loved you from the very moment I found out I was pregnant with you. I fell in love with you immediately when you were placed in my arms and I knew you were my child. When you married Nikki, I had to learn to divide my love with her. It was difficult at first, especially when you wound up moving to Utah, but I grew to love Nikki as my own daughter. I love her first and foremost because she loves you and because she is the mother of your child, my first grandchild and I know she will make a great mother. I know she'll be a great mother because she was raised by wonderful parents who are kind and loving and taught their daughter well.

When I saw that picture this afternoon, it was a sad reminder of some things I miss in your life. Things that happen when your children grow up and begin to have new lives. I had been able to handle being a new grandmother with the earlier pictures and the phone calls. I know that Nikki's parents see Derek often, but seeing the picture of his other grandmother holding him was almost unbearable, as I 've not had that opportunity and won't for several more weeks. That was the "grandmother pang" - the sudden physical hurt that my heart felt when I realized it wasn't me...that Derek knows how she smells, how she feels, how she talks and he knows nothing about me; That she knows how he smells, how he feels, how he coos and she has many opportunities to experience being a grandmother. I had never felt that kind of pain before. Am I crazy for feeling the way I do? I think not. Will I continue to feel this way? Only time will tell. Can I change the way things are? Not presently. So, for right now, I'll look forward to new pictures, phone calls with a crying baby in the background and appreciate that you include us as much as possible. We'll look forward to listening to yours and Nikki's new life experiences and laugh and smile with you and hope that Derek will get to know his other grandparents really well sometime in his life.

The Velveteen Rabbit - My favorite children's story

I don't remember the first time I read "The Velveteen Rabbit". I only know that I fell in love with it when I did. In case you've never read it or have forgotten what it's about...

The story starts when a boy got too many Christmas presents. Out of all of them one was special...it was a velveteen rabbit. The boy loved the rabbit (for about a day) and then the rabbit was forgotten in the boy's huge closet where he became very lonely.

Soon after, the boy lost his favorite stuffed animal and he would not got to sleep without it. His nanny, who wanted to make him feel better, grabbed the rabbit out of the closet and said, "This one will have to do." Then the boy and the rabbit became inseparable.

When the boy was gone from his room, the rabbit made a friend, a rocking horse. The horse told the rabbit that he was real and the rabbit asked how he could become real. The horse replied, "Lots of love".


One day the boy told his nanny that the rabbit was real. The rabbit was so excited he just couldn't wait to tell the horse! Soon after, the boy got really sick and was for a very long time. After he recovered, the doctor told the boy's family to burn everything that was in the nursery when he was sick, including the velveteen rabbit. The boy was moved to a different room and everything in his old room was bogged up, taken behind the tool shed and left until time was found to burn them. That night, the rabbit fell out of the bag and a fairy came down and turned him into a real rabbit.

The moral of the story is that if you believe in something and you never stop believing, maybe it will come true.


It's a wonderful story about love and I hope that one day my grandchildren will love it also.
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The rabbit shown above is the one given to me by my Great Granddaddy Orvin Cattell. That's him pictured on the left holding me. I remember nothing at all about him. In fact, I'd always thought that the rabbit had been given to me by my Grandfather Cattell before he passed away from cancer. I only found out I had the wrong misconception just a few years ago. Mom told me that my great grandfather had given her the money to buy Susan and me a rabbit for Easter that he later gave to us.

Mr. Bill

Who was Mr. Bill? First of all, he's the guy sitting on the left-hand side of the picture. He was Bill Harrison a young man who as I remember was about 23 years old and was assigned to your Granddaddy's Air Force squadron when we were living at Yokota AB, Japan in 1961. He was a nice Christian guy and he wound up being our babysitter on many occasions. I was only about 9 years old and not old enough to babysit even though I was the oldest. Granddaddy was in the hospital at Tachikawa AB experiencing severe back problems and was there for several months - yes months, around seven if I remember correctly. The hospital was quite a distance away and naturally Grandmother wanted to go visit and spend as much time with him as she could. Since we had only been in country for about five months and not members of the Church at that time, Grandmother didn't know a lot of people, Mr. Bill either volunteered or was volunteered to babysit. He was great! He would help us with our homework; he would feed us our meals; he would take us to the movie. Mr. Bill loved to take pictures and developed his own and one day invited me to go to the base Hobby Shop and where he taught me how to develop pictures using a darkroom. What a great time we used to have doing that.

I could never describe who he was exactly. He wasn't like a big brother, he wasn't like an uncle - he was just Mr. Bill and even as I grew much older, he was still Mr. Bill. One day it came time for Mr. Bill to rotate back stateside and I remember us taking him to the airport thinking I'd never see him again. I loved Mr. Bill. He was always so much fun to have around and I was so upset to see him go.

As it worked out, Mr. Bill was sent to Japan once again and so he was back in our lives. The next time someone left, it was us. But, he showed up again when we were living at Eglin AFB, Florida near Ft. Walton Beach. I remember him showing up one time with a purple dune buggy and he took us to the beach and we rode up and down sand dunes for as long as he could stand it. Every time we saw Mr. Bill he always had some new and exciting car or piece of equipment. You never knew what to expect from him.

When I graduated from high school in Valdosta, guess who showed up again? Yep, Mr. Bill. He came for my graduation. Of course by this time he'd married and had children. He used to tell me that since he couldn't marry me (since I was way too young), he did the best that he could and married a wonderful woman named Carol. No matter what, I knew I could always count on Mr. Bill if I needed him and it didn't matter where he was.

One day many years ago, sometime in the 80's, maybe 90's, I was sitting at home when I got a phone call that Mr. Bill had died. I remember it was around July 4th and I knew I had to be at his funeral. (And you know how much I hate funerals)! So, without hesitation, your grandmother and I packed our bags and headed to Spartanburg, South Carolina to attend his funeral. I remember standing at the casket taking my last look at the man I had loved for the majority of my life. And, even though I was now a much older person with a child of my own, he was still and will always be Mr. Bill. Carol was standing next to me holding my hands and was telling me how much he'd love me and my family. Up until that point, I had known Mr. Bill longer than anyone outside of my family. He was the biggest non-family constant in my life and I did feel a loss at his passing. I remember the following Christmas that Carol wrote me a wonderful letter about Mr. Bill. I saved it somewhere because it was so special and hope to run across it sometime and share it with you too. So, that's the story of Mr. Bill.

Ladies Man!

Look what happens when I clean out drawers! I find interesting items such as this "love note" from Christina Ruberson. Did she have a crush on you? I think this must have been shortly after the Ruberson's moved to Tifton.

I'm sure I'll run into something else interesting.

I Hope You Dance

I was sitting here this afternoon listening to music while working on the computer. Then the song "I Hope You Dance" came on. And, as usual I had to stop and listen to the song and the words. They always make me think of you Corey and the song always makes me cry. I guess the reason is that the song was popular around the time that your dad and I were in the mist of our divorce. And, the song said so many things that I wished I could say to you, but couldn't since I'm not a poet or songwriter.

Leann Womack said somewhere that "The thing about this song is it can be so many things to so many different people. Certainly, it can be everything a parent hopes for their child, but it also can be for a relationship that's ending as a fond wish for the other person's happiness. It can be for someone graduating from school or embarking on some new path...It fits almost every circumstance I can think of."

That's why when I hear the words I wanted you to not be discouraged in love just because your dad and I didn't stay together. I wanted you to have faith that all would be well and that you would trust people and continue to feel the excitement of what life could offer you and that you would find your real love. And, thank goodness you did. You got Nikki and aren't we all lucky!

"I hope you never lose your sense of wonder, May you get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger, May you never take one single breath forgranted, God forbid love ever leave you empty handed.

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean. Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens. Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance, And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance...I hope you dance.

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance. Never settle for the path of least resistance. Living might mean taking chances, but they're worth taking. Loving might be a mistake but it's worth making.

Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter, When you come close to selling out reconsider. Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance, And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance!" And, just in case you ever want to listen to the song, just click on and listen...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIAWY4LLsEw

My Last Visit With Grandmother McGhee

This is something that I wrote many years ago and just recently found in a drawer. I know that some people may say this confirms that I am a crazy person, but I know what I experienced is true.

I grew up as an "Air Force Brat". Consequently, I never was exposed to people who were really sick and no one ever died around me so death and sickness was a very frightening thing for me. In fact, the first time that I ever went to a funeral in my adult life was when I was about 19 or 20 years old and it was highly tramatizing for me. And, it wasn't someone I was close to - just the lady who lived behind us in the house in Brookfield. Also, because we were stationed at various bases all my younger life, I was not able to cultivate a "normal" relationship with my grandparents.

My story begins many years ago and for ten years, I searched for an answer to my experience.

My grandmother was gravely ill and expected to die at any time. Although she was not of our faith, she was probably the most religious personal I've ever met in my life. She was a woman who put her entire faith in the healing power of God and, therefore, she would not go to the hospital, so it was only a matter of time until she died.

I woke up that Saturday morning with a feeling that I really should go visit Grandmother. Because you were still very young and had not yet visited with Santa to give him your Christmas list, I convinced myself that that was the most important thing to do that day and that I would go visit Grandmother later. Later never came.

My dad called my home very early the next morning to tell me that Grandmother had died. I accepted the news matter-of-factly and proceeded to get dressed and ready for church. It was while attending church that I was suddently and violently hit with feelings of extreme guilt and remorse. Guilt that I had not taken the time to go and visit with her. I felt so overcome with guilt that I couldn't even bring myself to attend her funeral a couple of days later.

Some three weeks later, your dad and I were taking our "Sunday afternoon nap" when I suddenly awoke. I felt the presence of someone standing next to my bed. When I looked, there was my grandmother. It seemed to me such a natural thing that she should be there and I experienced no fright. I spoke to her and asked what she was doing there and she told me that "she had come to give me a message". About the time she was going to tell me the "message", the bedroom door opened and you walked in. Grandmother had disappeared and no one else had seen nor heard her. Not even your dad who was still sleeping and had never stirred. I will got to my grave knowing that she had indeed been in my bedroom and had spoken to me just as you and I would speak to each other. I, however, felt very sad and cheated to not have received her message.

I remember talking to my mom some days later and asking her if Grandmother had ever come to visit her and she said "no". I related my experience to her and she said that Grandmother had probably come to tell me it was alright that I had not come to visit her that last day since I was still feeling guilt. I wanted to believe what my mother said, but still wanted and needed some other type of confirmation since I felt that is what any loving mother would say to her daughter.

For years I searched and prayed for an answer to "why"? ABC's 20/20 had a program about people who'd had similar experiences such as me, so I knew I wasn't too crazy. I read books referred to on the program and prayed for an answer many times.

Finally, one day I was sitting in the backyard reading a book that Aunt Susie had given me for a Christmas present. It was entitled "Sanctuary" by Sister Chieko Okazaki. And, when I reached page 150, Sister Okazaki was relating her experience of the night her father died. She said she was awakened by the feeling of something brushing her hair. Later after speaking with her brother, he related that he had had a similar experience after being awakened. Her mother said, "The Japanese say that when the spirit departs, it will return once more to the home and leave a message for the person in greatest need".

When I read that, I remember starting to cry. After more than ten years, I had finally received my answer, my own personal revelation. My mom had been right all along, because I truly felt that my grandmother had come to comfort me and let me know that I no longer needed to feel guilt! Perhaps my grandmother felt that I was a person who was in greatest need!

I will be eternally grateful for this experience and I know as sure as the sun rises that my grandmother stood in my room and spoke to me because she loved me enough to come comfort me even in death.

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The necklace...this necklace was given to me by Grandmother McGhee before we went to Japan in 1961 as a birthday present when I was almost 9 years old. I have no idea where she got it from, but only know that I thought it was the most beautiful necklace in the whole world. I imagined that the middle stone is a beautiful ruby (since that is my birthstone) and that the stones around the edges were diamonds. I've never had the necklace appraised by any jeweler, so who knows I could have a very expensive necklace. The surprising part about the necklace is that I still have it. Considering all the places I've traveled and lived, I've hung onto it which is truly a miracle. I never am able to keep jewelry. I've lost my ruby birthstone ring that was given to me by my parents when I was seven. I've lost my high school class ring. I lost my diamond engagement ring given to me by your dad. Remember I temporarily (for over a year) lost the Mother's ring you gave me? Thank goodness Joe found it! Atleast I have never lost the necklace you gave me for Mother's Day either. Maybe that's why I'm not a "jewelry kinda gal"? It's too much pressure to have jewelry! So now do you see why it's amazing I've still got the necklace in my possession? It'll stay in my jewelry box until whenever. How special would it be if I had the opportunity to pass it on to my own little granddaughter sometime? So, you guys better make sure there's a little female Preston to inherit the necklace sometime in the future, huh?

Love Notes From Joe

One of the things that is so special about Joe is that he writes me love notes. They aren't poems, but rather thoughts about his feelings for me. He's done this randomly for me since we first met and they literally melt my heart since I'd never had anyone write a "poem" for me that I can remember. I have come home from work and found them under my pillow, laying on the kitchen table or somewhere he knows that I'll find them. So, I decided to share some of them and I'll also have a copy in case I happen to lose the originals.

Carol, For You

I love being with you. Your presence brings a smile to my heart.

I love being apart if only to long for your return and your embrace and kiss.

Being apart gives me a chance to listen to your smile on the phone, to know you from afar.

And to look forward to your closeness. For me this is all new. Although I've been in these circumstances before,

No one has ever loved or cared for me as much as you.

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Happy Valentine's Day 2007

Years are beginning to pass and our differences are getting smaller.

Funny how living together brings us closer.

Thoughts and actions of one are are predestinedto be that of the other.

As our differences grow smaller, our love is getting deeper and genuine.

Have no doubt of my love, my love.

I'm committed to you as I know, you're committed to me.

Life's uncertainties will be overcome by our committment to what is important - us.

So uncertainty will soon bloom into new opportunity.

So let's look forward, hand in hand, with eager anticipation of the future.

Our love will sustain and guide us if we let it.

The future may bring something old, or something completely new.

But being together, and in love, will overcome any obstacles.

To that end, I pledge my love.

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More love notes later...