Random Acts of Kindness

Don't you just love it when someone does something unexpected for you? And it's done "just because" - it's not your birthday, your anniversary, no special occasion - it's just because someone thinks you're special.

Nancy called me yesterday afternoon and told me that she had a bouquet for me at Mom and Dad's house. Nancy has a green thumb (or an entire green hand) and grows incredibly beautiful roses of every color and size. She knows I love pink roses and so she had some placed in a vase, along with some Queen Anne's lace for me to take to my office. The picture shows the flowers she had picked especially for me and no one else. I added some of my world famous gardenias in the bouquet this morning before taking it to work with me. I was so in love with the arrangement that I had to go back into the house, get my camera and take a picture to remember them. All day long I received comments about my lovely flower arrangement. (The general manager even threatened to "steal them" and take them home to his wife. So, if my flowers are missing when I return in the morning, guess who I'll be "suspicioning" right away. So, Nancy's gift to me has become my gift to everyone who walks past my desk all day long after they've stopped and admired and smelled my flowers.

And...A couple of weeks ago I was in Tifton before heading to work. I decided to stop by McDonald's to pick up something for breakfast for both myself and my boss lady. I NEVER get a chance to eat breakfast from a fast food place and there are some new things out there for me to try. Anyway, I drove up behind a white minivan and realized it was Susan in the car. I yelled out my window to her and she yelled something back before driving up to the takeout window. When it was my turn to pay for my breakfast, the girl at the window asked me if I knew the lady in the car in front of me. I said that I certainly did and it was my sister as I was handing her my money. She said she couldn't take my money 'cause that woman had already paid for me breakfast. Wow, how cool was that! Totally unexpected, totally loved and totally enjoyed by both me and Tami. So my good deed to buy breakfast for someone else was rewarded by a random act of kindness by my other sister. Don't it just do your heart good?!

So, Jimmy now it's your turn.

Remembering RFK and the Bambi Motel - 40 Years Later

Bambi Motel
Originally uploaded by lespaceplie

The news reports today are reflecting back 40 years ago to the assassination of Robert F. Kennedy. Sometimes things happen in our lives and it's easy to remember where you were at that time and what you were doing. And, RFK's assassination is one of them for me.

On June 5, 1968, our family was heading out on the first real family vacation we'd ever been on. It wasn't like our family had never traveled together before, but primarily it had been connected to moving in conjunction with Dad's job in the Air Force. This was going to be a real, genuine family vacation. We were living at Eglin AFB, Florida near Ft. Walton Beach and we were heading to central Florida to visit Busch Gardens and some of the surrounding attractions. (DisneyWorld, SeaWorld and the majority of the theme parks and attractions operating today were not even in business at that time).

I think the highlight(?) of our entire, life-long sleeping accomodations was the hotel we stayed in the first night. I'll never forget the Bambi Motel - wow! Located at 1829 U.S. Highway 19 in Perry, Florida, it was one of those roadside, non-chain motels that you drove right up to your room door. It was the kind of motel that you reached into the door first and turned the light on before entering. It was one of those kind of motels that you didn't want to get up in the middle of the night for fear that you might step on something that you could squish under your feet. If I remember correctly, the shower was pink tile accented with a green mold/slime border. Would you believe that according to the internet, the Bambi Motel is still in business? Holy Moly!!! Well,just remember, every vacation needs a high point and the Bambi Motel was ours

It's All About Me

One of the advantages of being the firstborn is that my mother at least began a "baby book". I discovered it the other day and decided to post the pictures and words she personally wrote. So in my mother's own words...

This is a part of your life as remembered by your mother. Don't forget she is not perfect so, take all mistakes as love.

You arrived at 4:50 a.m., Monday, July 28, 1952 at MacDill A.F.B. Florida, Hillsborough County. MacDill A.F.B. is just outside Tampa, Florida.

I will start by saying you started giving me trouble almost from the moment you were conceived and have been doing so ever since. You arrived in this world on your dads and my anniversary. At the time I had been in the hospital one week and had to stay another one after you were born. This was due to high blood pressure and toxemia. Oh yes, you weighed seven pounds, but I can't remember how many ounces. Sorry about that. 5 oz. I think.

Most of this story is gonna be in pictures. We were living about a block off Bayshore Blvd. in Tampa when you were born. At the moment I can't think of the name of the street. Maybe I will later. I wasn't quite eighteen when you were born. As I've said many times, we've sorta grown up together. As I think back over the years, maybe we haven't done too bad together.

Of course your daddy was in the Air Force at the time you were born. He was a boom operator and flew in a KC-97. When we were married, he was a B-29 gunner.

Well, I think it is time to start with the pictures.

This is your mother and daddy on their way to be married. They were married July 28, 1951 - 1:55 p.m. on a Saturday at the parsonage of the First Baptist Church in Tifton, Georgia. Rev. Davis M. Sanders performed the ceremony. Calvin and Alice Padgett were best man and matron of honor. We left the next day for MacDill A.F.B., Florida.

Before you were born your Dad had to go T.D.Y. to England, Norway, etc. So I went home to Georgia for those three months. Upon your Dad's return, your grandmother, granddaddy and Aunt Ruth brought me back home. Thinking you would be arriving soon, they stayed. The were with us for a month. Needless to say, Granddaddy got in lots of fishing, which he enjoyed very much. But, Aunt Ruth got tired of waiting.




(Mom's captions for the pictures read "Here I am waiting for you. This is the Gandy Bridge between Tampa and St. Pete". Also, "Granddaddy's big catch off Davis Island Bridge". Look at the size of those fish!)



You were born in a barracks type hospital. The only ones to have private rooms were the fussy officer's wives. This was my very first stay in a hospital. I don't even remember visiting anyone before. So I was pretty scared and ready to get out when they did decide to let me go.

This was taken in Hyde Park. You and I used to take long walks. Lots of times I would park the stroller in the theater lobby while I'd watched the movie. I had lots of free time then.

On the front porch of your first home. Your daddy made your seat you're sitting in. He was smart even then!! Besides, he married me, didn't he?

Front yard of the house we lived in when you were born.

Address: 209 Verne Street, Tampa, Florida



This is a card from friends. They sent roses in the pink shoe you have. This is the florist I bought the green frogs from. It was just up the street from Dad's and my first apartment.

This is a bench along Bayshore Boulevard.

A park on Davis' Island. I don't remember how old you were in any of these. That's me holding you. As you can see, you were bald-headed as an onion until almost a year old. So were your sisters and brother. Well, there was some fuzz.

(Take a look at my stroller)

When you were about eight months old, your great granddaddy Cattell and your great Uncle John Cattell came for a visit. Then we drove back to Michigan with then. This was the first time I had ever been there too. It was lots of fun even if I did get teased for my Southern accent.

We came back by way of Missouri on the train. (That was also a first for me). After our visit there with your grandparents, aunts and uncles, we went back to Tampa by train. So you had quite a long trip.

These were all made at Cypress Gardens when we went one Sunday while Granddad was visiting. You were about eight months old.

These are of your first visit to your grandparents home in Mountain View, Missouri. The first time I went there, there was nine inches of snow on the ground; I almost froze. After all, I was a Georgia Peach.

I don't think you liked Aunt Patty very much. You don't look very happy. Safe at last!! Back in Daddy's arms.

It sure looks like you are having fun. These were all made when we lived in a garage apartment for a few months between your dad's T.D.Y.'s. I think you were 10 or 11 months old. When your dad left this time, I believe it was to England and Norway.

I wish I could remember the address. But all I know for sure, it was somewhere in Tampa.

I just remembered the first T.D.Y. was to Africa, not Norway and England.

(I found a notation of "eight months old" on the back of the bottom picture.)

The morning you were born, your dad was home in bed sleeping. They called from the hospital but couldn't wake him up. Your grandmother said she heard the phone when it rang. The hospital called later and told your dad he was a father. This clipping came from some moments your Grandmother Cattell gave me.

This is at your grandparents house in Tifton.

The great concert artist. You and Grandmother McGhee about one year old.

I should have given you this bit of history before. But I said I wasn't perfect. I have to write as I remember.

As I said, your dad was a B-29 gunner when we got married. Well he transferred to the 306th Air Refueling Sqdn, August 24, 1951. He become a boom operator on a KC-97. That is he became a boom operator later. At first he I believe was a "cargo master".

He went on a lot of T.D.Y.'s. Before you were born he was over most of the U.S. He went to school in Mass., Texas, Seattle, Washing. (I think it must have been right after he returned from Westover, Mass., after two weeks that I got pregnant with you). He also went to Puerto Rico. He was very impressed with it.

The first and last stock car race I've ever been to was at Tampa State Fair in February 1952.

Oh, I almost forgot!! Your dad brought back some Puerto Rican cigars for your Grandad Cattell. When we went to Missouri in November (my first visit) we took the to him. I stayed there while he was gone to school in Texas. You Uncle Dave and I decided to try a couple of cigars out one afternoon. It wasn't as if I had never smoked a cigar before. I had some of your dad's. Of course, I was expecting you too. Needless to say we were two very, very sick, green people. We told Dad Cattell he could have the rest of them. He sure did laugh at us, but I think maybe he felt just a little sorry for us.

Your dad wrote his folks, "when I get hooked up like the picture shows, I'm boss of two airplanes worth over $5 million and 10 other men, some of them colonels. A big boss aren't I?" That's all for now on your dad.

From old letters he wrote May 5, 1952. We had just moved to the house where you were born. He said "it had a big orange tree beside it". (This I don't remember). It was upstairs.

We had just purchased a toaster a few days before and that just about completed our appliances. (Oh well, we didn't need much then).

It was while he was in French Morroco in June before you were born in July, that he bought my hand-woven bedspread. He returned to the states July 6th and you were born July 28th.

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P.S. by me...Thank you Mom for all the information. I really learned some things about you, Dad and myself. I guess the picture and information that made the biggest impact on me was the visit of my great grandfather. It boggles my mind to realize that Corey can see a picture of his great great grandfather with his mother and grandparents. But even more so is that one day Derek can see a picture of his great great great grandfather with a picture of his Grandma Carol as a baby.

Also, don't forget that you can click on the pictures and they will become enlarged for a better look.

Sammy the Army Cat

This is a picture of Sammy a Siamese who was our pet cat when we lived in Japan. Jimmy used to call him "Sammy the Army Cat" and drag him around the house by the tail. Sammy was also used by Jimmy as a pillow, a cushion and kid-handled in most every way possible. Although Dad was in the Air Force, Jimmy had Army everything, including Sammy who became an Army cat.

I don't remember how we acquired Sammy. I only remember he was with us in the first months after we moved into our home offbase in 1961. When let outside to do his duty, he apparently thought he was the toughest cat in the country and always seemed to have the misfortune of getting into some kind of tomcat fight. We lived next door to a rice paddy which would be flooded from time to time and he would sit out in there crying and wailing for someone to come help him. On more than several occasions, Mom would get up in the middle of the night, go into the rice paddy and rescue him. He would usually have some type of wound and had several scars to show for it. Unfortunately, no one seems to remember what happened to Sammy. Did he go off and fight one fight too many?

In Remembrance of Timothy

Shown is a portion of a letter written to a friend of mine who was living in Utah at the time.

I had a conversation with Nancy the other day and she reminded me that Timothy would have been 8 years old tomorrow. Time has a way of making our heartache disappear, but I can't imagine that her heartache will ever really disappear since I've never lost a child. Chances are the family would all be gathering for his baptism next Saturday if he was still alive - another opportunity to celebrate another family milestone. Think of the priesthood circle for his confirmation. The front pew would need to be removed to hold all the family priesthood bearers. What a large family Timothy would be a part of too. He'd be an uncle, have lots of little nieces and one little nephew. Has it really been eight years? Life has certainly moved on, but with it has come joy and sorrow for all remaining members of the Cattell clan.

Probably one of the most important times I've ever spent with Nancy was in the lobby of the hospital one night. We had just come down from upstairs visiting Susan who'd had gall bladder surgery. As we were about to go outside, Nancy said she wanted to talk to me and so we sat down. It was then that she asked me to "tell me about my baby". It broke my heart for her to say that. This was only a couple of days after she'd buried her baby and it was at that time that I realized she'd had no time to grieve for her baby. People had been with her almost constantly since his death - lots of well-meaning people. But, she'd had no time for herself. At that time in that lobby I realized that that was probably the closest she'd come to alone time and now she wanted to know about Timothy. I also realized at that time that I had had more alone time with Timothy than even his own mother and now I could share my time with her.

I have always felt so blessed by that small child. Though his time here on earth was not meant to be, he taught me more about living and dying in one evening and made me face some of my fears more than anyone else had been able to do. That sweet baby made me appreciate even more my life and my family.

Happy birthday Timothy - Aunt Carol still loves you and misses you.

Yes, I Was A Brownie

Yes, I was a Brownie Scout when I was a little girl. These pictures were taken when we lived in Poquoson, Virginia in 1961 when I was nine years old. (I think I still have my Brownie pin in an old jewelry box in the attic).

Baptism Day for Mom and Dad

This is a picture of the day that Mom and Dad were baptized into the Church at the Tokyo, Japan Mission home. They were baptized on their 11th wedding anniversary on July 28, 1962 by Don L. Christensen. They have always been excellent examples to me while growing up. They have truly lived the gospel, fulfilled their callings, had prayer together every night for as long as I can remember.

A few years ago Dad did a summary of his family and himself as a Christmas present for all of us. I'll go more into detail at a later time, but I did want it recorded what he wrote as a closing statement. It reads "Well, today is December 20, 2006. It's time for me to close this thing out if I hope to pass it out at Christmas-time.

In these 74+ years it has been a great ride. Who would ever thought that a farm boy from Michigan would end up in South Georgia living in a red barn - the wealthiest old man in Tift County and happy as I can be. My wealth is in the family surrounding me, a good wife and a heart at peace with the world. I love my Savior, the giver of all gifts and I pray each day that I can be a good servant and be acceptable when this life is ended. LIFE IS GOOD.'

Three Months, Two Weeks, Six Days...

...that's how old Derek is today according to the fancy little counter widget I added to my blog some time ago. But then who's counting? ME! Days keep going by and recently I told Joe how much I miss not getting to spend time with Derek. I have felt such a strong longing to get to know my grandchild, but circumstances prevent that at this time. So, I am thrilled when I receive the newest, latest picture via my cell phone or the phone rings and in the background I hear either a cooing or crying little voice. Derek has fantastic parents though who do their best to keep Joe and me updated with the latest changes that are happening in their new lives.

It has been a little over a month since I last held him, but I can still remember how he felt when he snuggled up against my neck and the sweetness of his neck when kissed there. I've said I would give up chocolate permanently just to have the opportunity to kiss and hold him daily or at least on a regular basis. Most of my friends who have already experienced being a grandmother tried to warn me how grandchildren change your lives and your perception of children. They weren't kidding. One of the things that amazed me the most was watching my own child hold his child with the kind of love and affection that had for him. I loved watching the gentleness of Nikki and the look that would come over her face when talking to Derek or while she nursed him. I have no doubt that Derek is loved by him parents.

Yes, my ticket is booked for another flight to Utah in October, but by then Derek will be eight months old - no longer a small baby. Children grow so fast and I know he won't stay small for long. But, at least Joe and I had the opportunity to spend some time with him. I just know that I don't want the kind of relationship with Derek that Joe has with his granddaughters. For whatever reason they may have, Joe's children don't call him - he calls them when he wants to speak with them. And, never in the entire time since we've married has he ever received a phone call from any of his granddaughters to speak to "Grandpa". I cannot begin and don't want to imagine what that would be like. Not only would it be painful to bear, but I can only imagine the grief I would suffer. I know that I am so blessed with a loving son and a truly wonderful daughter who keep us involved as much as possible considering the distance.

My favorite memory with Derek thus far is the afternoon Mom, Joe and I got to babysit while Nikki went to work and before Corey came home. Nikki had put him down for his nap, but after she left he woke up crying not ready to settle down. I went upstairs, tried to calm him and eventually picked him up and rocked him in rocking chair in his room. What a feeling that was. Just him and me, alone and together. Even now thinking about it brings tears to my eyes as I remember the experience of looking into his face and realizing that he is a part of me; that part of me and my child was the next generation. I was as though time had reverted and I was looking into the face of Corey once again. But, I was looking into the face of my new grandson. If I could have frozen that moment in time I would have. I would have frozen it long enough to remember that moment for as long as I live. It's a difficult thing to explain and most likely understand unless you've been the parent of an only child and that child is not accessible to you on a regular basis.

I many times feel a small twinge of jealousy for Nancy as she has her grandchildren in close proximity and sees them on a regular basis. One day it will be time to make a change - just not now. For now it's important to me to be here and love my own parents for as long as possible. One day it will be time to make that move out West and when it is...Look out Corey and Nikki and Derek and whoever may have come along by that time. But until then, keep those pictures and phone calls coming!!! :)

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About the picture - I ran across this one tonight. It's me and when I turned it over it had my name and birthdate written on the back, as well as my age at the time. My age at the time is the same age as Derek is at this time. Maybe it's just me, but it sure favors a certain little baby living in Utah. What do you think?

Counting My (Our) Many Blessings

Most mornings on my way to work, I call Dad on my phone and we chat about some aspect of our lives until I arrive at the office. I recently had a conversation with Dad about how life has been so great for me in the last few weeks. For the first time, in many, many years, I feel as though I have finally reached a wonderful balance in my life. My marriage is great, my job is great, my home life is great, etc., etc., etc.

My marriage is great primarily because of Joe. We celebrated an anniversary of sorts this last weekend. It was four years ago that we met in person for the first time. Because of Joe I feel real love, a real commitment of belonging from someone. Joe lets me be me. He understands me as much as one person can understand me. He is kind, gentle, quiet, patient and logical...everything I am not. He puts up with my crazy antics and awful singing. I love his beautiful eyes, his rosy red cheeks and his sweet, gentle kisses. I love spending time with him and miss when I'm not with him. I can't imagine life without him as he's become so much of my life and grateful that he is my eternal companion.

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I've found the place I need to be working right now also. I drive to work less than 20 miles roundtrip vs. the 100 miles roundtrip I drove for the last few years. I work for people who appreciate me and my caliber of work. I am wonderfully compensated for my work. The work is interesting, challenging, fulfilling and gives me a sense of purpose. If I have to work, then this is the place I want to work.

Joe's health is doing well even with all his medical problems and since no one has been in the hospital recently, we consider ourselves blessed health wise also.

Financially we are also being blessed. It has taken us about a year to get to this point. We sunk a very large investment in a child care center which fell through for us. What seemed to be a devastating loss for us at the time has proven to be a blessing as we were not locked into a situation that we most likely would not have been able to get out of. Then I lost my child care job and was unemployed for five months with some unemployment compensation. However, that didn't help with our financial obligations a great deal especially when I was traveling around for job interviews. I have a firm testimony of paying tithing. We have had unexpected monies come our way, been able to pay off some of our financial obligations and haven't felt any loss of money by paying our tithing. Between Joe serving as 2nd counselor in the bishopric and my teaching the adult Sunday School class and being full tithe payers, I know that the balance in our lives is due to our blessings from my Heavenly Father.

I am fortunate to still have the opportunity of spending time with my parents and family. Whether it's daily phone calls to Mom and Dad or spending time at their home or taking Mom out to dinner or a movie, I'm grateful that I can still tell them in person that I love them.

I know and acknowledge the hand of my Heavenly Father in my life and thank Him for all my blessings (and hope that this continues for a long, long time).

Yes, I'm aware these are Thanksgiving pictures, but I'm now going through my pictures and entering things as I run across them. Unfortunately, I can't just insert postings into a chronological order (at least I can't figure out how to do that), so you'll just have to go along with random postings. Anyway, this was when the ENTIRE family was together for the first time since Mom and Dad's 50th wedding anniversary in 2001. There was Mom and Dad; Joe and me, Corey and a pregnant Nikki; Susan and Don, Travis and Sarah; Nancy and Donald, Jennifer and James, Madeline and Isabella, David and Eileen, Estella, Amelia and Gretchen, Helen and Ryan, Nathan and Samatha, Matthew and Jed; Jimmy, Allison, Tabitha and Caitlin. A total of 31, plus Derek who would eventually make his appearance in three months. What a wonderful day that was especially knowing that the chances of this ever happening again would be a miracle.

My "Wish List"

Question: If you died tonight, what would you regret not having done today? What do you have on your "Wish List" that you wanted to do and haven't?

Here are some of my wishes...I wish I could do something meaningful for someone that would change their life for the better; I wish I could see my Utah family every day if that's what I wanted to do; I wish Joe could have a real relationship with his sons and know true love from them; I wish that I could understand how a computer works; I wish I could build a dream house somewhere overlooking a beautiful lake in the mountains; I wish I could have lunch with Thomas S. Monson and bring Corey along with me; I wish I could be more spontaneous without restriction of cost or time; I wish I could be an ice cream taster at Ben & Jerry's and not gain one ounce of weight; I wish I could discover a hidden pyramid filled with the greatest artifacts ever discovered; I wish I had a personal trainer who came and got me every day and made me work out no matter what; I wish I had a personal chef who would cook for Joe and me every day; I wish I could sit and watch the sun rise and set every day; I wish I didn't have to go to work everyday just to earn a paycheck; I wish I had my ideal Mustang and could take it to an open track and see who fast it could go before I chickened out; I wish parents never got older, but rather stayed in a holding pattern of good health; I wish it was cool enough every night to sleep with the windows open and I didn't have to wear earplugs; I wish the dogs could stay spotlessly clean at all times; I wish I could stay up late every night and sleep in until I wanted to in the morning. But since that last wish is impossible, I've got to stop for now and go to bed. And, lest you think this is all I wish for, think again!

Think about it...what would be on your "Wish List"?

Hmmmm....

I've always said that we go through phases in our lives - particularly women, I think. Mine were: childhood, teenaged years, college years and early jobs, my various career changes, marriage, motherhood, a single mother in midlife who went through divorce, another marriage, another career, becoming a grandmother, etc. Each life experience has left an indelible mark on my soul as well as a layer of memory. It's kind of like having a build up of sediment.

Someone once wrote that "we think that it's the big moments that define our lives - the wedding, the baby, the new house, the dream job. But really, these big moments of happiness are just the punctuation marks of our personal sagas. The narrative is written every day in the small, the simple, and the common. In your tiny choices, in these tiny changes. In the unconsidered. The overlooked. The discarded. The reclaimed."

Do you realize that there are only three ways to change how our life will go? That would be some type of crisis, chance or choice. My life at this exact moment is a direct result of choices I made somewhere in my life. That boggles my mind when I think about it. It was a family crisis that brought me to Shreveport, Louisiana, chance that Les lived next door and we were introduced and a choice that I made to marry him. Then once again, years later, it was a crisis (divorce), a chance meeting on the internet that caused Joe to find and woo me and my choice to marry him from all the men I met during that time.

Would I do things differently if I knew then what I know now? Certainly not! I would not be where I am now without having had those experiences. I would not have you, Corey, I would not have Nikki or Derek. I would not have Joe. And, how empty my life would be without any or all of you. No matter how painful some memories may be, there were also wonderful memories that kept me alive or I wouldn't be here today. Someone once wrote "The past is not only that which happened, but also that which could have happened, but did not." Think about that.

Thanks to Nikki...

she unwittingly created a monster. At the end of last year, Nikki said she was going to begin a blogspot so that everyone could keep up with the new baby and their family. I thought what a great idea! Maybe I'd also start one to write about myself so that maybe my own son (and daughter-in-law) might find out more about his mother, that my future grandchildren would have the opportunity of reading things about their parents, their grandparents and even their great-grandparents.

Years ago, I bought a book for my parents entitled "Reflections from a Mother's/Father's Heart" hoping they'd fill it out so that my family and I could discover interesting things about them. I'm still waiting and with the daily passage of time, the prospects aren't looking any better for them to return the book with completed entries. So, when it comes to blogging, I think of it as electronic journal keeping for me and my posterity. It's a way of my getting thoughts and feelings out - it's almost like there is a sense of urgency to express myself as soon and as often as possible. There are so many things I want to record and there seems to not be enough time. Maybe it's because I see the failing health of both Mom and Dad in these past few months. I realize that life is fragile and we are not guaranteed life will be the same for us tomorrow that it might have been for us today. I also realize that no matter what I try to accomplish in life, I wonder if there is something I should be doing? Is there something I'm missing? There are things that I would like to record, but won't and can't since this is after all an open forum for others to read. And, there are things best not spoken either aloud or "on paper" that might diminish my standing with those I love.

I find it very therapeutic to write - especially late at night before going to bed. Years ago for mental therapy I used to do counted cross-stitch (eyesight is too bad to try it anymore), make, paint and create one-of-a-kind wood crafts, antiqued dolls, etc. (Too much space and lack of time for those anymore). Reading isn't working either as I can't seem to get engrossed in any particular book - I don't even have time to read magazines. I've got some of them laying around with the plastic covers still intact. So, now that I've created my own personal musical playlist, I can sit here almost nightly recording my thoughts, with Joe snoring in the next room until he comes to remind me that I have to come to bed. And, reluctantly I leave until my next opportunity. So, just remember Joe, it's all Nikki's fault (thank you Nikki).

It's True...Children Do Grow Up So Quickly

Grandmother, Joe and I went to a dance recital for a friends little girl this afternoon. One of the "dance" numbers was a group of mothers pushing their babies in strollers. They were accompanied by this song and it really touched my heart because the words of the song are so true. It doesn't seem like my own son should be 26 years old this year and now have his own child. When I run across old pictures of Corey, I think back and wish that I could and should have done more with him when he was growing up. I loved him at every stage of his life thinking it couldn't get any better, but it always did. It's already been over a month since I spent time with Derek and I feel quite sure he's already changed so much. I regret that I will never ever see him as a "baby" ever again since he will almost be walking the next planned visit. So, to all you young parents - cherish every day with your babies, no matter their age, for someday you too may look back and wish you'd spent more time playing with and loving them.

I can remember when you fit in the palm of my hand.
You felt so good in it; no bigger than a minute.
How it amazes me you're changin' with every blink.
Faster than a flower blooms, they grow up all too soon.

So let them be little,'Cause they're only that way for a while.
Give 'em hope, give them praise,Give them love every day.
Let 'em cry, let 'em giggle,Let 'em sleep in the middle,
Oh, but let them be little.

I never felt so much in one little tender touch.
I live for those kisses, your prayers an' your wishes.
An' now you're teachin' me how only a child can see.
Tonight, while we're on our knees, all I ask is:

Please, let them be little,'Cause they're only that way for a while.
Give them hope, give them praise,Give them love every day.
Let 'em cry, let 'em giggle,Let 'em sleep in the middle,
Oh, but let them be little.

The so innocent, precious soul:You turn around, an' it's time to let them go.
So let them be little,'Cause they're only that way for a while.
Give them hope, give 'em praise,Give them love every day.
Let 'em cry, let 'em giggle,Let them sleep in the middle,
Oh, but let them be little. Let them be little.

Today was Tabi's graduation day. It was so foggy at the stadium that the lights were turned on. Since there was so much construction taking place around the school, we left early enough so that we could find a decent place to park - and we did. Shortly before the graduation was over, the sun finally came out and the weather turned hot!

Life Is Like A Train Ride

While checking my email this evening, I opened up an email sent to me by a friend. Many times I get so many messages that I just go through and delete a lot of them, but this one really appealed to me and I felt it was worth sharing with whoever wanted to read it. So, here goes...

A while back, I read a very interesting book that compared life to a train ride or a series of train rides. Life is like a train ride, it read. We get on. We ride. We get off. We get back on and ride some more. There are accidents and there are delays. At certain stops there are surprises. Some of these will translate into great moments of joy, some will result in profound sorrow.

When we are born and we first board the train, we meet people whom we think will be with us for the entire journey. Those people are our parents! Sadly, this is far from the truth. Our parents are with us for as long as we absolutely need them. They too have journeys they must complete. We live on with the memories of their love, affection, friendship, guidance and their ever presence.

There are others who board the train and who eventually become very important to us, in turn.These people are our brothers, sisters, friends and acquaintances, whom we will learn to love, and cherish. Some people consider their journey like a jaunty tour. They will just go merrily along. Others, will encounter many upsets, tears, losses on their journey. Others still, will linger on to offer a helping hand to anyone in need. Some people on the train will leave an everlasting impression when they get off. Some will get on and get off the train so quickly, they will scarcely leave a sign that they ever travelled along with you or ever crossed your path. We will sometimes be upset that some passengers whom we love, will choose to sit in another compartment and leave us to travel on our own. Then again, there’s nothing that says we can’t seek them out anyway. Nevertheless, once sought out and found, we may not even be able to sit next to them because that seat will already be taken. That’s okay - everyone’s journey will be filled with hopes, dreams, challenges, setbacks and goodbyes. We must strive to make the best of it, no matter what. We must constantly strive to understand our travel companions and look for the best in everyone.

Remember that at any moment during our journey, any one of our travel companions can have a weak moment and be in need of our help. We too may vacillate or hesitate, even trip. Hopefully we can count on someone being there to be supportive and understanding. The bigger mystery of our journey is that we don’t know when our last stop will come. Neither do we know when our travel companions will make their last stop. Not even those sitting in the seat next to us.

Personally, I know I’ll be sad to make my final stop. I’m sure of it! My separation from all those friends and acquaintances I made during the train ride will be painful. Leaving all those I’m close to will be a sad thing. But then again, I’m certain that one day I’ll get to the main station only to meet up with everyone else. They’ll all be carrying their baggage most of which they didn’t have when they first got on this train. I’ll be glad to see them again. I’ll also be glad to have contributed to their baggage and to have enriched their lives, just as much as they will have contributed to my baggage and enriched my life.

We’re all on this train ride together. Above all, we should all try to strive to make the ride as pleasant and memorable as we can, right up until we each make the final stop and leave the train for the last time. All aboard!

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The picture is one of my family in 1961 with our 1957 Chevy named Betsy. This was taken shortly before we moved to Japan.

Tossing Out The "Important" Things?

A few months I discovered a pile of "important papers" that I'd saved for many years. I finally got around to sorting through these "important papers" last night and even more tonight and realized that what used to be important no longer seems to hold much value for me. I think it's quite coincidental that during this time of the year when so many are graduating from high school and college, such as Tabi and Sarah and Travis, that several of the important papers were old cards. These were cards that had accompanied graduation presents and/or had held money. As I opened each of the cards and read the signatures, I realized that many of them contained names of people I can't even remember. These were people who at one time were apparently very important in my life and now I can't even picture their faces! Is this due to old age or were these just people who happened to be a part of my life during this brief period? Don't get me wrong, there were cards from people who haven't been in my life for a long time, but are still important, i.e., my great Aunt Lillie who I loved immensely and who died many, many years ago. There was a card from my great Uncle Lorin and Aunt Mary on my dad's side of the family. Again, people whom I love and was always thrilled to have visit during my life. But, who were the Schillinger's, the Logsdon's, David, Renee and Scott? Then on the other hand, many of the cards brought back memories of living in Japan...there were cards from the Lenore and Roy McClelland's, the Bill and LaKay Holman's, the Gerald and Martha Corbett's, the Jack and LaDean Wecker's. And then there was the card from Dorothy and Marguerite Ford - the old lady spinsters who lived next door and were wonderful to our family especially while Dad was in Vietnam.

Then there were the old yearbooks collected since 1965. That was the first one I "just had to have" to collect all those really important names and sayings. You know the ones such as "Remember the M, remember the E, put them together and remember ME"! I was, and I quote from various yearbooks or annuals...keen, sweet, neat, far out, cute, a friend 4-ever, cool, hard-working, etc. Skimming through these books I realize I know no one from any of the six books I have. I'm also including the yearbook I received while attending Valdosta Tech. I never kept in touch with anyone since I changed schools, locations, states or countries most every year.

So, my question is: Are these cards and yearbooks important enough to hang on to? What purpose do they serve? Do they bring back real memories for me - good or bad? I can answer for the cards in one word - No. Unless cards that are 38 years old are valuable, the answer is no. They are small, don't take up much room and are easy to throw in the trashcan beside my desk. Will my grandchildren care that I threw them away? I doubt it. Then there are the yearbooks - bulky, sophisticated looking and filled with those dumb sayings. I think they too will suffer the same fate of the cards except for the one from Japan and the one from the technical college. Why? Well, the Japanese one is sentimental proof I was there - nothing more, nothing less. The technical college one proves to me I was a somebody during some tenure of schooling. During high school I was a nothing, a wallflower, an invisible person. I doubt anyone remembers me. In fact, I've never been contacted to return for a reunion and wouldn't go even if invited.

I moved to Valdosta during the summer just before my senior year. It was the first year of intergration and I had to take makeup classes in order to graduate by Georgia standards which caused me to take many non senior classes. I felt I was ugly, never dated the entire school year, never attended any school functions, including prom and wanted desperately for the school year to get over as quickly as possible. I cannot name one person in my entire senior class that I went to school with. That's one thing I've always been jealous about with Corey and his growing up. He went through school with basically the same group his entire life. Some of his friendships even began as early as when he was in daycare together. And, he still stays in touch with several of these people even after being graduated several years later. It was not until I went to Valdosta Tech that I finally started coming to understand my capabilities and began to blossom as a person. I'll write more about that on another blog.

So, back to the fate of the yearbooks. What's to become of them? I say can them, trash them, dump them!!! Sorry Mom and Dad for sacrificing your hard-earned money for something that I just couldn't live without and had to have. (Let's don't even bring up about my senior ring, okay)? Maybe I have no attachment to the yearbooks because I had no attachment to the school or the kids attending them?

Isn't it amazing that I can now sit back and see the cards and yearbooks from a different perspective? But then isn't that the way life is? Some things can be so desired, coveted and necessary today and we want it at all costs and then get it, use it, look at it for awhile and then it's time to move on to something else?

And, speaking about moving on, I shall...

B.J. and Blaze are our furry kids. B.J., large black Labador/collie mix, came to us as a puppy for Joe's Christmas present in 2005. He looked like a black, furry bowling ball with legs. B.J.'s name comes from using the first name of Joe's boys - Brian and Jason. Blaze, who is our granddog, is a full bred chocolate Lab and she came to live with us all the way from Utah in October of 2007 when her daddy and mommy (Corey and Nikki) couldn't keep her as they couldn't locate a place that would let them have pets. More on them later...

We recently had the missionaires over for dinner before Sister Redman left. These are some of the pictures taken after dinner.

Family Reunion - 2008 pictures

Family Reunion - 2008

Desmond Tutu wrote "You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them". Well, in a few hours Joe and I will have the opportunity to visit many of those gifts. These are the relatives on my mother's side of the family primarily coming from around south Georgia and north Florida. The numbers keep getting larger with the grandchildren having children who are now having their own children. And, the problem is knowing who all these people are. We've always had name tags worn by each and every person in the past, but that was to primarily be used for the drawing of door prizes since the tags were also numbered. Nowadays, you need the name tags to identify people and still may not know who they are related to. This is the only family reunion I'm required to attend and it's always held the Sunday after Mother's Day each year. Everyone usually gathers at the designated location somewhere before noon since that is when the dinner is served. Long ago the dinners were held at Grandmother and Granddaddy McGhee's home or some relatives home - I do remember dinners at Aunt Grace's home. I also remember the after dinner softball games the cousins used to play - the ones that were played in the field next to Grandmother and Granddaddy's house. This was the field that the cows used and many times the bases were marked with cowpatties. Now, this was something way out of the ordinary for a city girl such as myself, but I learned how amazingly hard a cowpattie can be after it's been baking in the sun for many, many a day. In the years following, the ballgames gradually migrated to one of the City softball fields since the location of the family reunions were moved to a facility uptown. Now that we're back in the country at a new building, I wonder if the games have continued? Hmmm, I'll have to check that one out. Also, back in the "old days", it was a real adventure to come for the family reunions, Since Dad was in the Air Force, we either never made them because of time and distance or when we did, it was a real treat. It was about the only time that I got to hang around my cousins my age. There was Terry, Larry, Joan, Diane, Peggy and others whose name I can't remember. There were also those relatives that you could count on for being predictable. Aunt Ruth always looked perfectly coiffured, Aunt Alice was always doing something totally unexpected from the norm (bandaids on her boobs one year) and Grandmother always saying that she hoped she'd be at the next reunion if the good Lord was willing.

Anyway, back to the present...There is the frantic picture taking with various flashes flashing and people calling to find their family members for the obligatory family groups to assemble. There are always the pictures taken of the babies, someone about to put food in their mouth and relatives sitting next to each other in conversation. These conversations consist of discussing the pictures in dated 3-ring notebooks of past reunions which have been cared for by my dad, whose gained weight, whose lost weight, whose had a new baby, whose no longer with us, who couldn't make it this time, etc. In some ways, the conversation appears to be just nods of the head to each other, smiling and waving and then drifting off to others who you spend time with on a regular basis.

There is the anticipated food that shows up every year - Aunt Rachel's extremely large pot of chicken and dumplings (there is never any left), Aunt Grace used to make the best cornbread dressing and if I remember correctly, she was the one who made the fried fruit tarts. Family reunion dinners are totally different than church dinners. Here the pace is laid back - you know there is plenty of good food, no one will leave without feeling well-nourished. Church dinners, people seem to act as though it is "The Last Supper" they will ever consume and go through the food like a human tornado.

Yep, it's time for Family Reunion - 2008. I think I'll take a better look around this year and spend more time talking with people I've not visited with in a while. Why? Because I know that some of those people won't be back next year. There will be deaths due to old age or misfortunes of life and then I'll be sitting back looking at those dated pictures wishing I'd spent more time with them and getting to really know about them. We have to realize that those persons for whom this reunion was begun so many, many years ago, my grandmother Beulah Miranda Goddard and Dewey Cleveland McGhee, are no longer with us, but their memory still lives on in our hearts and in those pictures. And, I for one have come to find out in the last few months that we never know when and where life will take us and so we need to make good memories every day.

I will admit that I'm sure there will be a time tomorrow when I will find a chair in some relatively quiet corner of the room and experience some small measure of disappointment. That disappointment will come from the fact that this was my year to have the spotlight shinning on my little family group. This was the year that I would be able to proudly show off my new grandbaby and formally be introduced into that elite group of people who've done so in the past. Though the world may be getting smaller all the time, there are still some things, such as time and money, that can't be overcome. But, I'll have my Grandma's Brag Book and memories from the Utah visit a month ago and I know my little extended family will be with Joe and me in spirit. I can always take heart that there will be the possibility of next year at Family Reunion - 2009.
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Well, this reunion started out a little differently. Mom had to go home before it even began. Could it have been too much partying the night before? Maybe one sausage dog too many? Whatever the reason, Nancy took her home before Joe and I even arrived. Nothing too spectacular to report. There was Aunt Rachel's dumplings - yeah!; seemed like a lesser amount of people this year; David didn't get up and do any of his long speeches...seems someone suggested that he not this year - do I hear another yeah?; there were a couple of fantastic door prizes given out this year - $50 in cash (a non-family visitor won it) and a one week use of the Carrin's condo in Daytona Beach - that was won by the David Seaman family. Another nice touch was recognizing all the new grandmothers and Martha gave each of us a gift bag. It contained a teddy bear for the baby, a car mug that said "grandparents are special people" and a ceramic mug that said "grandpa hugs are the best". How very thoughtful for us. When my name was called, I had my Grandma's Brag Book open proudly flashing pictures of my new grandbaby.

When I Grow Up, I'm...

I remember when I was younger that there were things I was or was not going to do differently when I was grown up. I got to thinking about that today and started taking mental stock of what had or had not occurred since making that statement. Let's see if I can remember some of those things now. I'm sure I can add on as I think about it in coming days.

• I was going to stay up all night, especially on Fridays, since I wouldn't have to go to school or work the next day. I don't know about you, but most times when Friday nights come along, I could put my head on my pillow before the first prime time show hits the airwaves. Why is it that when I was younger, I had so much energy? Was it the anticipation of the weekend? Was it that I had big plans?
• When I grew up, I was going to buy a can of whipped topping and just suck it down anytime I wanted to. I remember Mom having a can of it in the refrigerator and there never seemed to be hardly any when it came time for her to use it? And, do you know that they now have it in chocolate too?!?!?
• I was never going to take naps. Now I wonder when will the government require that all adults must stop for a nap time of at least one hour per day?
• I was going to have twins and dress them alike. Thank goodness that God listens with a deaf ear from time to time!!! Corey was just the right number of children for me.
• I was going to live happily ever after with the man of my dreams. It took me a second time on that one to get it right.
• I was going to have my Mustang GT, with a 5-speed transmission, dual pipes, convertible top, black in color, with a full sports package complete with chrome wheels. Still working on that one. I've had about three Mustangs, but never the coveted one yet.
• Also 30 years ago, I wished for a white picket fence for my front yard festooned with an English garden and cascading pink roses over a walk-through trellis.
• I was going to own a horse - (now where would I have ever put a horse with all the traveling I've done).
• I was not going to spank my children and I can only remember giving Corey one spanking - doesn't mean I didn't swat his bottom a couple of times to get his attention.
• Job wise - I was going to work for the F.B.I. in Washington, DC as a fingerprint specialist. My mom talked me out of that one. I was going to be a flight attendant for Eastern Airlines. I talked myself out of that one even after I had a job interview. I was going to work for the American Embassy in London as a secretary. I got cold feet and never followed through.

I'm quite sure there are more things that I will add later on. How about you? What you were going to do?