"Have The Police Called You"?

It was an uneventful morning. Got Joe totally dressed after he'd made it through a morning shower with no unexpected slippage and falling today. The only mishap was when I was pulling his newly pulled on Depend a little too hard and started a horizontal tear across the backside. Ta dah! Another use for duct tape and he had wearable underwear for all day usage.

I left around 8:30 with my usual "stay out of trouble" and a quick prayer in the car. Around 10:30, I received a telephone call from Leonard Landlord asking me "Have the police called you"? And this is the reason why...

Joe's side of the story:

He was apparently sitting outside waiting for the CATC bus to take him to the Senior Citizen Center. According to him, the bus was running very late and never came and got him. And/or a bus arrived but it was a driver he'd never seen before and he wasn't going with her. And, since the bus never came, he decided to go back into the house, undress and climb back into bed.

CATC'S side of the story:

The driver arrived at our home at 9:35 a.m. The driver walked to the front door since Joe wasn't sitting outside where he usually is most of the time. She became quite alarmed when she neared the front door and found the housekey lying just outside the half-opened screen door where Joe's walking cane was half in and out of the door with the front door open. She knocked on the door calling his name repeatedly. (They are not allowed to enter customer homes). After doing this for about 5 minutes, she called her office and reported what she had observed and done. The office called our home number trying to reach Joe. (I heard that recording when I arrived home later in the morning). CATC sent one of their supervisors over to our house and for several minutes they tried to determine where Joe was. Leonard Landlord even came into the house at some point and called for Joe with no response.

The CATC supervisor finally called the police department for them to come do a "well check".

Police Officer's side of the story:

When they arrived at the house, one officer went to the backyard and spoke with Leonard, first to find out who he was, and then entered the home. (At some point someone even went and spoke with our neighbors to see if they knew about Joe). The other officer came into the front door wherein he finally found a dazed Joe walking into the living room in a pair of jean shorts. (Thank goodness he had at least put on some type of clothing). Joe couldn't understand what all the fuss was about. He just knew the bus hadn't come, he didn't feel it was absolutely essential that he go to the center and had gone back to bed. The police officers and everyone, except Leonard Landlord who continued working on the fence until...

My side of the story...

I was at work when Leonard Landlord called and asked "Have the police called you"?

Me: No, why? What's happened?

LL: Apparently Joe didn't catch the bus and they came looking for him. When he didn't answer, they called and the police came and went into the house and found him okay.

Me: Is he at the house now?

LL: No, I think the bus went on and took him to dialysis.

Me: Today's not his dialysis day. He was supposed to go to the Senior Citizen Center. I'll just give them a call. Thanks for the information LL.

I hang up the phone, search for the SCC number and call asking for Joe. They go looking for Joe and he's not anywhere to be found. I call the house. He doesn't answer the phone. I pick up my purse, clock out at work and say I'll be back as soon as I can find my husband.

I drive home where I find Joe tucked into bed like a sleeping angel. He wakes up. I question/grill him about what has happened. He gets mad at me for making a big fuss about nothing. I find items for his lunch (which he was supposed to have eaten at the Center), give some insulin and leave after I have let him live.

Then I went to CATC to find out all the real facts of the morning, then to the Center to alleviate their wonder of what happened to Joe and spoke to the police officer later when I return to the office.

911 - This is a non-emergency. No lights or sirens, please!

My morning began with hearing Joe call me from somewhere outside the bedroom. I was having my best night's sleep in a long time. Carol. Carol. Carol.

There he was in the bathtub. According to him, he WAS outside the tub drying off when he lost his balance and fell backwards back into the bathtub. Did you know:

• Each year, 350 people drown in their bathtubs. You are 151 times more likely to be killed by your bathtub than you are by a pit bull and/or;
• Seven hundred ten persons drowned in bathtubs in 1979 and 1980 and/or;
• Of the 24000 accidental deaths of people over the age of 65 every year, many take place in the bathroom from slipping and falling when entering and exiting the bathtub. Joe is now 66 years old.

I told him all that while he was lying nekkid in the bottom of the tub.

Seriously, he didn't appear to be hurt only totally unable to get out of the tub. After a great deal of struggling, we did manage to have him "slither" on the side of the tub, but then he was stuck on the bathroom rug and couldn't get up. I no longer was able to help so that's when I threw on a house dress and called 911. I told the dispatcher I needed help, but that it was a non-emergency and begged for no lights or sirens. They granted my wish. Six burly, hunky dudes showed up. There I was standing in my house dress and morning bed head hair going off in a million directions. But in a matter of moments nekkid man was standing tall and the burly dudes all disappeared.

I did call the dialysis office to let them know to be on the lookout for any strange behaviour, but all went well.