Monday, April 30, 2012

After The Ball Was Over...

Getting Joe ready for bed each evening sometimes seems to be quite time consuming, but definitely a "necessary evil" whole lot of fun.  This is the normal routine...
  • taking his night time medications;
  • checking his last of the day blood sugar;
  • administering the two types of insulin to help maintain or lower the blood sugar for the night;
  • filling up his water reservoir for his bi-pap machine;
  • having nightly prayer;
  • kissing his sweet, puckered up lips;
  • placing his bi-pap face mask on his head and over his nose; and
  • tucking him into bed, turning out the light and shutting the door.  (And then maybe having an hour of some quiet time for myself).
But, something new has now been entered into the routine...
  • removing his two hearing aids;
  • opening them up to preserve the battery life; and
  • placing them into their protective night time case.
As I was doing all this last night, Joe commented that it almost felt like he was being disassembled.  I told him that it made me think of a song that I had learned years ago.  Why I ever learned this song or where I learned this song, I don't even remember.  But, here are the words...
    After the ball was over,
    Mary took out her glass eye,
    Put her false teeth in the water,
    Hung up her wig to dry,
    Put her peg leg in the corner,
    Hung her tin ear on the wall.
    There wasn't much left of poor M-a-r-eeeeeee
    After the ball!
http://youtu.be/qGJJdhUlWrY

Today In History - Typewriter Finished


It is amazing to me how far the use and development of the typewriter has come even since I started working as a secretary/administrative assistant.

I remember when I used to have to type a duplicate copy of something and in order to do so I had to use carbon paper.  (I don't even know if they make carbon paper anymore).  And, if I made a mistake, then I had to erase both copies of paper.

Sunday, April 29, 2012

Today In History...Berlin Wall

April 29, 1990…Wrecking cranes began tearing down the Berlin Wall at Brandenburg Gate.
----------------------------------------------------------

On November 10, 2009, I wrote about my connection with the Berlin Wall.  Refer to this link to read about it... http://jocarweaver.blogspot.com/search/label/Berlin%20Wall

Love You Forever

File:LoveYouForever.png

As the story begins, a son has just been born. The story then continues through the life of the boy until he is a grown man. The mother continues to rock her son to sleep singing "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living my baby you'll be." Later, the role is reversed and he holds his elderly mother and says "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living my Mommy you'll be." At the very end of the story, the mother passes away and her son is the father of a little girl, rocking her to sleep; singing the same song that his mother used to sing to him.
-----------------------------------------------
A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while she held him, she sang:
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.
The baby grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was two years old, and he ran all around the house. He pulled all the books off the shelves. He pulled all the food out of the refrigerator and he took his mother's watch and flushed it down the toilet. Sometimes his mother would say, "this kid is driving me CRAZY!"
But at night time, when that two-year-old was quiet, she opened the door to his room, crawled across the floor, looked up over the side of his bed; and if he was really asleep she picked him up and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. While she rocked him she sang:
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.
The little boy grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was nine years old. And he never wanted to come in for dinner, he never wanted to take a bath, and when grandma visited he always said bad words. Sometimes his mother wanted to sell him to the zoo!
But at night time, when he was asleep, the mother quietly opened the door to his room, crawled across the floor and looked up over the side of the bed. If he was really asleep, she picked up that nine-year-old boy and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while she rocked him she sang:
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.
The boy grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was a teenager. He had strange friends and he wore strange clothes and he listened to strange music. Sometimes the mother felt like she was in a zoo!
But at night time, when that teenager was asleep, the mother opened the door to his room, crawled across the floor and looked up over the side of the bed. If he was really asleep she picked up that great big boy and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. While she rocked him she sang:
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.
That teenager grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was a grown-up man. He left home and got a house across town. But sometimes on dark nights the mother got into her car and drove across town. If all the lights in her son's house were out, she opened his bedroom window, crawled across the floor, and looked up over the side of his bed. If that great big man was really asleep she picked him up and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while she rocked him she sang:
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.
Well, that mother, she got older. She got older and older and older. One day she called up her son and said, "You'd better come see me because I'm very old and sick." So her son came to see her. When he came in the door she tried to sing the song. She sang:
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always...
But she couldn't finish because she was too old and sick. The son went to his mother. He picked her up and rocked her back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And he sang this song:
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my Mommy you'll be.
When the son came home that night, he stood for a long time at the top of the stairs. Then he went into the room where his very new baby daughter was sleeping. He picked her up in his arms and very slowly rocked her back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while he rocked her he sang:
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.
--------------------------------------------------------
Even if you don't like this book, it matters not a bit to me.  Maybe you have to be the mother of an only child who happens to be a boy if you don't understand it.

The Mama's Boy Myth

I spend a lot of time sitting in doctor's offices and waiting rooms because of Joe's many appointments.  The best only advantage of this is the variety of magazines and articles I get to read.  Look at all the money I'm saving by not ordering all those magazine subscriptions.  The point to all this is that I read an interesting article the other day in the Ladies' Home Journal - the May 2012 issue.  It was called "The Mama's Boy Myth".  So, I thought I'd contribute my thoughts as well.  Also, my comments are from my perspective as the mother to my son.  His perspective may be totally differently and he may remember/see things differently.  And, unless you fit into this category as a mother to a son, I think it would be hard to understand my feelings.  Here's the article...

"A couple of years ago I was going through a minor career crisis.

My employer had just changed my job description to include duties that I could certainly handle but which, in my opinion, didn't really exploit my strengths. I complained to my son, Paul, then 19. "Mom," he told me, "the problem is that they're playing you out of position."

As usual, Paul nailed it. I happened to mention his comment to a woman I barely knew and she told me that she often discusses work with her grown son -- that, in fact, they regularly call each other as they're leaving the office to rehash their workdays. She then went on to say how simpatico they are and how they share the same sense of humor.

This is Corey who actually WON the beauty pageant.  You have to have a sense of humor to do this!

 (I've always felt that Corey and I had a similar sense of humor.  People who know the both of us, often comment that he is just like me in humor, looks, mannerisms, etc.  I've been so privileged to have spent lots of time with Corey on a one-on-one basis, especially as he grew older.  Some of those countless times include:
  • Trips to the grocery store and/or running errands.
  • Out of town trips for cultural experiences i.e., going to Atlanta to see "Phantom of The Opera" or "Riverdance."
  • Out of county trips to England, Scotland and France.
  • Cross-country trip for two weeks and 16 states.
These trips have given me the opportunity to absorb that sense of humor - many times I've seen a side of him I might never have gotten acquainted with if it were not for those long 24/7 days together.  He made me laugh - genuinely laugh.  He still makes me laugh.  He makes me laugh so hard sometimes that I have to beg him to stop before I pee in my pants!  I love how he used to dance around me when I would walk track.  I love that sweet face that used to tickle my face and say "jibby, jibby, jibby".)  In fact, she confided, the time she spends with her son evokes a profound tenderness that she doesn't experience with anybody else.  (I, too, agree with this mom.  The time I spent and spend with my son has always been different from any other man in my life.  Maybe it's because I tried so long and hard to be able to have a child and then when I finally discovered I was pregnant there was that moment when I thought I was going to miscarry.  Maybe it's because I almost did lose him when he was 13 months old when he experienced seizures and extremely high fevers.  Maybe it's because we spent so much time together due to his dad's work schedule.  Maybe it's because he was there for me after the divorce.  I always tried to shield him from the bad parts of my marriage and my grief, but sometimes he would catch me sobbing and hurting so badly and he was the one who offered his shoulder and strong arms to comfort me). 

I was stunned: She could have been describing, almost word for word, my own feelings. Paul, who's now 22, "gets me" like no one else. We finish each other's sentences (don't think we ever did this one) and share dozens of inside jokes (but, we definitely have and did/do this one.  We even did this around his father). We can intuit each other's moods without even speaking. And I confess that I still get a little thrill when I see his number on my caller ID (so true and it makes my day when I get a simple text that simply says "I love you Mommy).

As this woman and I continued our unexpectedly intimate conversation, she told me she'd never before opened up to anyone about the intensity of her feelings for her son. I could relate. She and I were talking about a level of emotional connection that is usually associated only with mother-daughter relationships. If I were to tell people how close I am with Paul's older sister, no one would bat an eye. But moms rarely talk about a similar bond with their sons, partly because there seem to be no words, no examples, no context, in which to describe it without raising eyebrows. Many of us have gotten the subtle message that there's something "off" about a close mother-son attachment. So we mostly keep quiet about it, even though this relationship is one of the major delights in our lives.

Let me be clear: My son and I are very close, but we are not each other's best friend (and, I shouldn't be Corey's best friend.  That should be Nikki.. Nor, for that matter, am I my daughter's best friend. (I've gotten that memo from both kids: I am their mother, not their pal.) Also, Paul is more than six feet tall, plays ice hockey, and is a highly independent guy. (Hmmm, sounds like Corey, except he played football and basketball, not ice hockey).  Why do I feel the need to mention this? Because in this culture, I must reassure everyone (including myself) that our deep emotional connection hasn't compromised my son's masculinity.  (I was questioned by Les one time when I made the decision that Corey could sleep with a doll.  Buddy was his name.  He was like a Cabbage Patch doll and was given to him by his Aunt Susan.  I saw no harm in his sleeping with a doll.  As an only child, he had no one to sleep with and it was a comfort to him to have someone to "talk" to when he went to bed.  Besides, I thought it might also bring out a nurturing side to him that he would need later in his life).

The question we should be asking, of course, is why, nearly half a century since the advent of modern feminism, there's still such a double standard.

Think about it. There's practically a small industry that encourages mother-daughter bonding, from spa discounts to hundreds of books on the subject. And father-son camaraderie is all but enshrined in the parenting hall of fame. Dads and sons are inundated with cultural cues to play catch, shoot some hoops, or watch a game together.

Fathers and daughters? All systems are go: A father's support, experts agree, is essential to his daughter's self-esteem. And today's dads are strongly urged to be part of their daughters' lives, whether it's coaching their sports teams or escorting them to a father-daughter dance. (Can you imagine a high school sponsoring a mother-son dance? Yeah, me neither.)

If a father flouts gender stereotypes and teaches his daughter a traditional masculine task (working on a car engine, for example), he's one cool dad. The electrician husband of my friend Hannah was just named "Hero Dad" by the PTA of his daughter's all-girl middle school after he gave a one-hour workshop on how to rewire a lamp. But a mom who teaches her son a "feminine" skill, like knitting? Uh, what is she trying to do to that boy?  (No knitting or crocheting for me or Corey.  But he did like painting.  In fact, he'd "borrow" my paints to add accessories to his cars and trucks.  I did do things though like take him grocery shopping and taught him about price comparisons and how to buy food.  I taught him how to wash and dry his clothes.  I taught him how to cook.  I taught him how to make his bed.  I gave him the means to appreciate art, music, cultural arts and old cemeteries and history).

Even when a mother helps her son talk about his feelings, she's risking criticism -- often from a source uncomfortably close to home. (Some of my most profound conversations with Corey came when discovering a hidden shoebox.  And, there was the conversations that took place upon his return home from his mission.  I will go no further in explaining those as they are deeply personal and not for public consumption).  My husband, Michael, is a warm, loving man and a terrific dad -- really. But I can remember many occasions when he reacted as if I was tormenting our son when, say, I encouraged Paul to open up after a heartbreaking soccer loss. "Stop interrogating him," Michael would chide.  (The majority of good close conversations took place after the divorce when it was just the two of us).

Just the other day, my friend Caitlin reports, her 11-year-old son, Jack, came home from middle school visibly upset. When she put her arm around him and asked him what the trouble was, her husband snapped, "Leave the kid alone." But Caitlin persisted, and it turned out that Jack had gotten into a fight with his best friend, leaving him hurt and confused. He was clearly relieved to be able to sort out his emotions with his mom and to discuss ways to handle the situation.

As women, of course, we know how to put these kinds of feelings into words. Boys and men do not. So the world regards mother-daughter gabfests as therapeutic while thinking it's okay to let sons withdraw into muteness and grapple with their worries alone. I can't count the times I've witnessed people not just accept, but embrace, appalling stereotypes about boys. A respected psychologist speaking at my kids' school a few years ago informed the audience that "Boys don't talk" and told us not to worry if our sons replied simply with grunts. Please. How will these boys get through life if they can't communicate? Besides, in my experience, boys are perfectly capable of articulating their thoughts, given the right environment. (Like many moms, I discovered that the car is a great place to get a son talking. (A whole lot of conversations took place in the car between Corey and I.  Some of my funnest, funniest and most memorable conversations took place there.  And, once again, spending 24/7 together for two week intervals helps promote a whole lot of conversations too).  Paul divulged some of his thorniest problems and biggest triumphs on the way to and from soccer practice.)

Boys, we constantly hear, are "in crisis." Small wonder: They're bombarded with mixed messages. On one hand, they're supposed to be cool, tough, stoic, and strong; on the other, being overly macho makes them seem clueless, backward, and ripe for mockery. And they're expected to respect women while also having to compete with them, first in the classroom and then in the workplace.

Well, I believe one of the reasons boys are struggling is that they lack the emotional intelligence and verbal skills that their mothers could help them develop. We moms are also in the best position to help combat the crudest elements of a culture that sabotages boys' natural sensitivity and empathy.
Moms like me are tired of hearing that we should back off from our sons in the name of manhood. Here's a news flash from the 21st century: By offering our sons an emotional education, we're not creating wimpy men who cling to their mothers -- we're helping half the population reach its full human potential."  (There is so much more I could say about Corey and the way he turned out.  I don't take full credit.  There have been his grandparents, other family members, church members, scout leaders, school teachers, Nikki and, of course, his father.  And, as Corey's life becomes even more busy with Nikki and Derek, I realize that our relationship will diminish from what it was.  I already see that happening now and that's just the way it is). 

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Eeyore's Birthday

Eeyore has always been a member of the Preston family.  For as long as I can remember, Corey and I always thought of and referred Les to Eeyore.  It had to do with his pessimistic attitude and the way he would always say, "It doesn't matter" in the voice of Eeyore.

This picture was take of Eeyore and Corey at Disneyworld on his 18th birthday.  He was asking for Eeyore's autograph when he was apparently mugged by Eeyore.
http://youtu.be/3k_cVLHEIDI

Today In History...Occupation of Japan Ended

April 28, 1952…A treaty with the United States and 47 other countries went into effect, officially ending the U.S. occupation of Japan
---------------------------------------------------------
Note:  Hard to believe that almost 9 years to the day, I would be living in Japan for the next four years.

Today In History...Mutiny On The Bounty

April 28, 1789…The mutiny on the Bounty was a mutiny that occurred aboard the British Royal Navy ship HMS Bounty on 28 April 1789, and has been commemorated by several books, films, and popular songs, many of which take considerable liberties with the facts. The mutiny was led by Fletcher Christian against the commanding officer, William Bligh. According to most accounts, the sailors were attracted to the idyllic life on the Pacific island of Tahiti and repelled by the harsh treatment from their captain.

Eighteen mutineers set Lieutenant Bligh and 18 of the 22 crew loyal to him afloat in a small boat. Mutineers then settled on Pitcairn Island or in Tahiti. The Bounty was subsequently burned off Pitcairn Island to avoid detection and to prevent desertion. Descendants of some of the mutineers and Tahitians still live on Pitcairn island.

After Bligh and his crew of 18 made an epic and eventful journey in the small boat to Timor in the Dutch East Indies, he returned to England and reported the mutiny.
----------------------------------------------------

File:Poster for Mutiny on the Bounty.jpg

This was one of my all-time favorite books and movies.  The movie was released in 1962 with a new version released in 1984.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Gratefulness

The last couple of days have made me feel very grateful.  I love how every once in awhile something happens in your life that resets your gratefulness clock.

Yesterday there was a funeral held here in Casper.  It was for a 31 year old firefighter who had a stroke after fighting a grass fire last week.  I didn't know the young man.  I just know that he was only a year older than Corey and did the same type of work that Corey does and loves.  There have been times in the past, that I know that Corey's life was in danger while he was either fighting fires or worked as a police officer.  I was always glad when he could return home at the end of his shift - that I never had to witness what I saw yesterday.

Probably the most poignant part of the funeral procession for me yesterday was seeing Adam's casket on the back of the firetruck.

My office is located right next to the US Bank heading downtown and so I was able to stand outside and watch the procession...


This was the large flag hanging in the downtown district.  Adam's casket is on the back of this fire engine.

---------------------------------------------------------
Today there was a newcomer to the adult daycare.  It was a man who is probably in his late 20's or early 30's.  He apparently has no interaction with any of the other day residents, such as Joe, as he constantly talks to himself and seems to reside in his own world.  He occasional gets up and paces, all the while talking to himself, or just sits on the couch.

I know things could be worse with Joe, but I am so grateful that my Heavenly Fathers has blessed the both of us as much as He has.

Monday, April 23, 2012

National Picnic Day

It’s National Picnic Day! People have been eating their meals outside in the beauty of nature for centuries. In fact, our modern-day idea of a picnic evolved from Medieval hunting feasts and Victorian garden parties. These were usually quite sophisticated affairs, which involved multiple courses and elaborate preparations.

During the early 19th century a group of wealthy London citizens formed “The Picnic Society” to promote picnics as social gatherings. These picnics were potlucks, and each participant also had to provide a share of the entertainment. The society members drank from crystal goblets and listened to a live string quartet while eating their meal! Today, picnics are usually casual meals enjoyed on a comfortable picnic blanket.
------------------------------------------------
I love picnics and have some fond memories of them.  My earliest memory of a picnic is with Mom.  She made some finger sandwiches and we went into the backyard where she spead a blanket and we ate the sandwiches.  After we'd eaten, then we layed down on the blanket and looked into the sky and told what the clouds made us think of.  I think that was when we were living in Virginia.  My sisters would most likely have been with us, but for some reason I don't remember them on this occasion.

I remember our "family" picnics were usually held alongside the highway as we traveled.  It was more for necessity rather than fun as the restaurants were few and in between at times and with a family of six, meals could get very expensive.  Probably my most notable roadside breakfasts were when Mom had purchased a gazillion boxes of Captain Crunch cereal at the commissary for about .10 or .15 cents a box. So, we ate LOTS of Cap'n Crunch.  In the beginning it really was quite fun and exciting.  Cold cereal was not normally kept in our home (with four children it wouldn't last long).  We usually had hot cereal such as oatmeal, grits, farina, cream of wheat, etc.  By the time I'd eaten the Cap'n Crunch several times, it was no longer fun.  In fact, I've never bought a box of it at all in my entire life.


These are some other picnics I have pictures of...

Picnic at Andersonville National Historic Site which was a POW camp during the Civil War with Travis and Sarah.

Touring the grounds of Andersonville National Historic Site with Sarah and Travis.  I was pregnant with Corey at the time.  I think this was around October of 1978.

Les with Sarah and Travis.

Checking out one of the cannons at Andersonville National Historic Site with Uncle Les.



Another memorable picnic...After driving across country and back for two weeks, Corey and I had lots and lots of picnics.  This was the last one we had near the end of our trip.  We had left Arkansas that morning and around lunch time we kept looking for a roadside park or some place to stop and eat, but never found a place.  Finally in Mississippi we discovered a spot alongside the road that had been cleared away.  We just stopped there and that's where Corey took a picture of me sitting on our very large cooler eating my lunch.



Shakespeare Day



My favorite Shakespeare story hands down is Romeo and Juliet.  Shakespeare's classic tale of romance and tragedy. Two families of Verona, the Montagues and the Capulets, have been feuding with each other for years. Young Romeo Montague goes out with his friends to make trouble at a party the Capulets are hosting, but while there he spies the Capulet's daughter Juliet, and falls hopelessly in love with her. She returns his affections, but they both know that their families will never allow them to follow their hearts.

In 1968 Franco Zeffirelli directed the movie "Romeo and Juliet".  What a fantastic movie!  I remember I saw it with Mom and I was 16 years old.  When I started sobbing, I remember her patting me on my knee and saying "It's only a movie, Carol".  True, but it was a lovely wonderful movie.

http://youtu.be/6UfUd03qOxE

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Today In History...Richard Nixon Died

April 22, 1994…The 37th President of the United States, Richard M. Nixon, died four days after suffering a stroke at age 81.
---------------------------------------------
According to Dad, Nixon was/is a 6th cousin of mine.  Apparently a female Milhous married a male Cattell many years ago and both were members of the Religious Society of Friends, or Friends' Church or we they are commonly know, Quakers.

Today In History...U.S. Holocaust Museum

April 22, 1993…The U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum was dedicated in Washington, DC.
---------------------------------------------
In August of 2000, I had the opportunity to go to Washington, D.C. for a child care conference.  I rode to D.C. with a girlfriend of mine, Bonnie Giles and we went a couple of days early so that we would have the chance to do some sight-seeing.  It was the second of many opportunities to visit there - the first being with Mom, Nancy and Aunt Rachel.

One of the places we visited was the Holocaust Museum which is a must see for anyone visiting that city.  You need to set aside several hours to work your way through the museum and view and listen to the many displays.




The "Tower of Faces" is a three-floor-high segment of the permanent exhibition at the US Holocaust Memorial Museum devoted to the Jewish community of the Lithuanian town of Eisiskes, which was massacred by units of the German Einsatzgruppe and their Lithuanian auxiliaries in two days of mass shootings on September 25 and 26, 1941.

The exhibit consists of approximately 1,000 reproductions of prewar photographs of Jewish life.  The photographs in this exhibit document the life of a Jewish community that existed prior to the occupation by the German Army in the last week of June 1941.  On the eve of the Jewish New Year in September 1941, the community was ordered to surrender all its valuables. The following morning all Jews were ordered to assemble in the main synagogue and its two houses of study. Another 1,000 Jews from two neighboring towns and crowded into the three buildings. For the next two days the 4,000-4,500 Jews were held without food or water. On the third day the killing action began with the mass shooting of all the men at the old Jewish cemetery. The next day the women and children were taken out and shot near the Christian cemetery. Only 29 Jews escaped the slaughter.



Display of concentration camp prisoner uniforms.



Detail of the scale model of crematorium II at Auschwitz-Birkenau on display.  This model, which is a recreation of the sculptor's model that has been on display in the State Museum of Auschwitz for many years.



The railcar is one of several types of freight cars used to deport Jews to ghettos and concentration camps.



A collection of valises belonging to Jews who were deported to death camps, that are displayed at the base of the railcar.

 

Detail of the "Murder of the Handicapped" segment, featuring a register and photographs of euthanasia victims.



The shoes, about 3,000, taken from the Jews before being gassed at the killing centers.

I don't know how anyone can leave the museum without being affected by what they've seen.

What I Should Have Done Differently

Yesterday our stake had an "Education Day" for all the sisters.  I didn't go.  In fact, I've not been to one since we moved here.  There are several reasons I didn't or haven't been...
  • Joe and I have been off on a daycation sometimes in the past so we haven't been in town or
  • I may have forgotten or not been aware of it.
But, the primary reason(s) I didn't go yesterday...
  • No one invited me to go with them.  No one even called to tell me or remind me about it.  This was important to me, particularly in this period of my life.  It's a hard thing to explain, especially to someone who has known me in the past.  I'm hesitant to go by myself.  I've been so used to doing everything with and for Joe for such a long time I've forgotten what it's like to me an independent, free-wheeling, go by myself person.  The only time I seem to be "not a couple" is running to the grocery store on occasion or taking care of the monthly household responsibilities. 
  • I don't really know a lot of women here in the church.  I know some of the women in my ward and wonderful women they are.  However, once again I've not been the Relief Society on a regular basis so that has prohibited me getting to know the others I don't know.  And, how would I know if the women I do know were going yesterday?  I am so far out of my comfort zone these days.  It doesn't bother me to go to church on Sundays by myself.  In fact, I rather like being able to just absorb the quiet and enjoy the Spirit without having to tend to someone else's needs. 
It's no one's fault except myself that I didn't go yesterday.  I'm a big girl.  I could have hoisted up my big girl panties and gone.  Yes, I would have been late because I would have had to wait to get Joe into dialysis first.  And, I wouldn't have been able to stay for lunch because I would need to be ready to get him picked up after his session, but I could have gone - all by myself. 

More importantly, I have now realized these simple facts - I could have called someone.  I could have taken someone with me.  I, too, did not fulfill my calling as a Visiting Teacher.  I didn't call anyone to see if they knew about it.  I didn't offer to come and pick them up.  I didn't and now I wish I had.  Remember - don't point fingers at others when you haven't done what you should and could.  Hopefully, it'll be different next year.  (What was that?  That was the sound of me slapping my hand for being a bad girl).

Now I'm off to get ready for church and enjoy this absolutely wonderful, sun shining gorgeous day with my husband.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Kindergarten Day


When I was younger, and the age of when I could have attended kindergarten, it was not possible for me to do so.  Only the children of parents who were well off could attend and that left me out.  Times have changed and children such as Corey now have the opportunity to attend kindergarten.
Corey, age 6.
"The first day of school  was very, very, very, very scared.  I did not know anyone that day.  I only know Karla".
Corey's kindergarten class.  Corey last row third from left.  He's standing by Chris who was his best friend for years.  Leslie, one of his good girl friends.  Second row - Karla in the pink shirt was and is still one of his forever friends.  Mandy, sitting to the left of Karla, was his very good tomboy and true friends.
One of Corey's first drawings.  He loved dinosaurs, just like his mom did.


Here he is...Mr. Kindergarten!  Wasn't he a cutie?!
Corey's first love letter given to him.  (The first of many)!
Corey's kindergarten class on a field trip to Omega Pharmacy.  Corey is in last row of children in dark t-shirt with arms raised and strange look on face.
Translation..."I Like Halloween.  Halloween is fun because you get to scare people in your coffin.  Halloween is fun".
Corey, Me and Karla Whitley dressed for Halloween 1988.

Serving my dry ice brew in our front yard.

Our front yard.

Corey's Kindergarten report card.




Drawn after Corey's class had gone on a field trip to the zoo.

End of year comments - passed on to 1st grade.


Friday, April 20, 2012

How's 2012 Working Out?


I just don't seem to have the time to do what I want to do and if I have the time I don't seem to have the energy.  Before you know if, the year will be over and I'll have to put some of those same ole things on my list again.

Here I am.  Four months into the new year.  Where has the time gone?  What have I accomplished that I wanted to do and still want to do?

Things such as...
  • I would love to have the energy to get up each and every morning before Joe starts his day and just take a walk all by myself.  Then come back for a nice little breakfast while reading my scriptures and/or my Ensign and a hot shower and then get ready for work.  I would love to lose half of my body weight.
  • I would love to blog everyday.  My mind gets so full of things I'd love to say, that I'd love to record, that I'd love to pass on to my son and grandchildren.  I'd love to be able to just take the time and talk with my parents and write down some of their thoughts, their memories so that I can get to know them better.
  • I'd love to be able to waste some time by logging onto pinterest.com and just spend some time browsing on there everyday.  Then I'd love to be able to create and make some of the things that catch my interest.
  • I'd love to be able to wash my white clothes and fold and put them away on every other day and do my colored clothes the in between days.
  • I would love to go to bed every night and get a full, undisturbed night's sleep.  This means not worrying that when I did go to sleep Joe wouldn't get up and get into and do something he shouldn't be doing.
  • I would love to have more contact with my kids and grandson as I feel as though they are slipping away from my life.  I sometimes feel as though I need them more than they need me.  And, I suppose as time goes by it will become even more so as Derek gets older.
  • I would love that each morning when I leave my house that all is in its place as it should be.
  • I would love to get the typing done of the Vietnam letters by Dad by Thanksgiving.
  • I would love to have some free time each evening by myself just to decompress from the day.
  • I would love to fly back to Georgia about every six months to visit with family.  I would also love to be able to go to the temple at least every six months.
  • I would love just to be able to read a book - not  a church book, but go to the library and check out a real book and read it.
I guess I got to thinking a little more about this after Joe and I had dinner with some friends.  We had been invited to their home for dinner.  When I asked what time we should arrive, the response was "6:00.  We always eat at 6:00."  This couple always seems to have it together.  They have a beautiful home which is impeccably decorated.  Both are retired from their jobs.  They appear to lack for nothing.  And, it appears that they have plenty of time to do whatever they want.  And they always eat at 6:00.  How did they get to that stage in their lives and why am I where I am?  Really, I don't need anyone to analyze my question and give me an answer.   I know my life is different from theirs because:
  • My first marriage didn't last and caused everything that I worked for and hoped for a total of 23 years to be taken away from me.  Primarily any financial security that I had.
  • My second marriage has caused such instability that normalcy will never happen.
  • Too many job losses in the last four years have made such a deep impact on starting all over again.  Starting to save money, trying to save my home and struggling to plan for the unknowns of getting older.
  • I'll still be working or trying to earn some money when most others will most likely be retiring.
All in all though, life is pretty darn good.  I've still got 7-8 more months of this year to accomplish some of my goals.  So, I'll just keep plugging along and see how it all turns out in the end.

    It's Lima Bean Day!



    I'd love to have a big bowl of some lima beans right now!  Yummy!  The best way to cook them though in adding a nice spoonful of some bacon drippin's and just enough salt for a wonderful flavor.  Then you cook them long enough until their tender and wrinkled.  (You know the kind of wrinkling like when you stay in your bath water too long)?

    They are the perfect accompaniment to a plate of fried catfish and some big fat tater logs.  This is making me salivate just thinking of it!

    Thursday, April 19, 2012

    One of the great talks given at the last General Conference...

    The Merciful Obtain Mercy
                            
    Dieter F. Uchtdorf - 2nd Counselor in the First Presidency

    My dear brothers and sisters, not long ago I received a letter from a concerned mother who pleaded for a general conference talk on a topic that would specifically benefit her two children. A rift had grown between them, and they had stopped speaking to each other. The mother was heartbroken. In the letter she assured me that a general conference message on this topic would reconcile her children, and all would be well.

    This good sister’s sincere and heartfelt plea was just one of several promptings I have received over these last months that I should say a few words today on a topic that is a growing concern—not only for a worried mother but for many in the Church and, indeed, the world.

    I am impressed by the faith of this loving mother that a general conference talk could help heal the relationship between her children. I am sure that her confidence was not so much in the abilities of the speakers but in “the virtue of the word of God,” which has a “more powerful effect upon the minds of the people than … anything else.”  Dear sister, I pray that the Spirit will touch your children’s hearts.


    When Relationships Go Bad
    Strained and broken relationships are as old as humankind itself. Ancient Cain was the first who allowed the cancer of bitterness and malice to canker his heart. He tilled the ground of his soul with envy and hatred and allowed these feelings to ripen until he did the unthinkable—murdering his own brother and becoming, in the process, the father of Satan’s lies.

    Since those first days the spirit of envy and hatred has led to some of the most tragic stories in history. It turned Saul against David, the sons of Jacob against their brother Joseph, Laman and Lemuel against Nephi, and Amalickiah against Moroni.

    I imagine that every person on earth has been affected in some way by the destructive spirit of contention, resentment, and revenge. Perhaps there are even times when we recognize this spirit in ourselves. When we feel hurt, angry, or envious, it is quite easy to judge other people, often assigning dark motives to their actions in order to justify our own feelings of resentment.


    The Doctrine
    Of course, we know this is wrong. The doctrine is clear. We all depend on the Savior; none of us can be saved without Him. Christ’s Atonement is infinite and eternal. Forgiveness for our sins comes with conditions. We must repent, and we must be willing to forgive others. Jesus taught: “Forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not … [stands] condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin” and “Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.”

    Of course, these words seem perfectly reasonable—when applied to someone else. We can so clearly and easily see the harmful results that come when others judge and hold grudges. And we certainly don’t like it when people judge us.

    But when it comes to our own prejudices and grievances, we too often justify our anger as righteous and our judgment as reliable and only appropriate. Though we cannot look into another’s heart, we assume that we know a bad motive or even a bad person when we see one. We make exceptions when it comes to our own bitterness because we feel that, in our case, we have all the information we need to hold someone else in contempt.

    The Apostle Paul, in his letter to the Romans, said that those who pass judgment on others are “inexcusable.” The moment we judge someone else, he explained, we condemn ourselves, for none is without sin.  Refusing to forgive is a grievous sin—one the Savior warned against. Jesus’s own disciples had “sought occasion against [each other] and forgave not one another in their hearts; and for this evil they were afflicted and sorely chastened.”

    Our Savior has spoken so clearly on this subject that there is little room for private interpretation. “I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive,” but then He said, “… of you it is required to forgive all men.”

    May I add a footnote here? When the Lord requires that we forgive all men, that includes forgiving ourselves. Sometimes, of all the people in the world, the one who is the hardest to forgive—as well as perhaps the one who is most in need of our forgiveness—is the person looking back at us in the mirror.

    The Bottom Line
    This topic of judging others could actually be taught in a two-word sermon. When it comes to hating, gossiping, ignoring, ridiculing, holding grudges, or wanting to cause harm, please apply the following:


    Stop it!

    It’s that simple. We simply have to stop judging others and replace judgmental thoughts and feelings with a heart full of love for God and His children. God is our Father. We are His children. We are all brothers and sisters. I don’t know exactly how to articulate this point of not judging others with sufficient eloquence, passion, and persuasion to make it stick. I can quote scripture, I can try to expound doctrine, and I will even quote a bumper sticker I recently saw. It was attached to the back of a car whose driver appeared to be a little rough around the edges, but the words on the sticker taught an insightful lesson. It read, “Don’t judge me because I sin differently than you.”

    We must recognize that we are all imperfect—that we are beggars before God. Haven’t we all, at one time or another, meekly approached the mercy seat and pleaded for grace? Haven’t we wished with all the energy of our souls for mercy—to be forgiven for the mistakes we have made and the sins we have committed?

    Because we all depend on the mercy of God, how can we deny to others any measure of the grace we so desperately desire for ourselves? My beloved brothers and sisters, should we not forgive as we wish to be forgiven? 

    The Love of God
    Is this difficult to do?  Yes, of course.  Forgiving ourselves and others is not easy. In fact, for most of us it requires a major change in our attitude and way of thinking—even a change of heart. But there is good news. This “mighty change” of heart is exactly what the gospel of Jesus Christ is designed to bring into our lives.

    How is it done? Through the love of God.

    When our hearts are filled with the love of God, something good and pure happens to us. We “keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous. For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world.”

    The more we allow the love of God to govern our minds and emotions—the more we allow our love for our Heavenly Father to swell within our hearts—the easier it is to love others with the pure love of Christ. As we open our hearts to the glowing dawn of the love of God, the darkness and cold of animosity and envy will eventually fade.

    As always, Christ is our exemplar. In His teachings as in His life, He showed us the way. He forgave the wicked, the vulgar, and those who sought to hurt and to do Him harm.

    Jesus said it is easy to love those who love us; even the wicked can do that. But Jesus Christ taught a higher law. His words echo through the centuries and are meant for us today. They are meant for all who desire to be His disciples. They are meant for you and me: “Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.”

    When our hearts are filled with the love of God, we become “kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving [each other], even as God for Christ’s sake [forgave us].”

    The pure love of Christ can remove the scales of resentment and wrath from our eyes, allowing us to see others the way our Heavenly Father sees us: as flawed and imperfect mortals who have potential and worth far beyond our capacity to imagine. Because God loves us so much, we too must love and forgive each other. 

    The Way of the Disciple
    My dear brothers and sisters, consider the following questions as a self-test:
    Do you harbor a grudge against someone else?
    Do you gossip, even when what you say may be true?
    Do you exclude, push away, or punish others because of something they have done?
    Do you secretly envy another?
    Do you wish to cause harm to someone?

    If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may want to apply the two-word sermon from earlier: stop it!

    In a world of accusations and unfriendliness, it is easy to gather and cast stones. But before we do so, let us remember the words of the One who is our Master and model: “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone.”

    Brothers and sisters, let us put down our stones.
    Let us be kind.
    Let us forgive.
    Let us talk peacefully with each other.
    Let the love of God fill our hearts.
    “Let us do good unto all men.”
    The Savior promised: “Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over. … For with the same measure that [you use] it shall be measured to you again.”

    Shouldn’t this promise be enough to always focus our efforts on acts of kindness, forgiveness, and charity instead of on any negative behavior?

    Let us, as disciples of Jesus Christ, return good for evil.  Let us not seek revenge or allow our wrath to overcome us.

    “For it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.
    “Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink. …
    “Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.”
    Remember: in the end, it is the merciful who obtain mercy.

    As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, wherever we may be, let us be known as a people who “have love one to another.” 

    Love One Another
    Brothers and sisters, there is enough heartache and sorrow in this life without our adding to it through our own stubbornness, bitterness, and resentment.

    We are not perfect.

    The people around us are not perfect.People do things that annoy, disappoint, and anger. In this mortal life it will always be that way.

    Nevertheless, we must let go of our grievances. Part of the purpose of mortality is to learn how to let go of such things. That is the Lord’s way.
    Remember, heaven is filled with those who have this in common: They are forgiven. And they forgive.
    Lay your burden at the Savior’s feet. Let go of judgment. Allow Christ’s Atonement to change and heal your heart. Love one another. Forgive one another.
    The merciful will obtain mercy.

    Of this I testify in the name of the One who loved so well and so completely that He gave His life for us, His friends—in the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen.
    ---------------------------------------
    What a fantastic talk.  I think we all need to be reminded that we are not perfect and neither are others.  Everyone makes mistakes.  How can we expect to prepare ourselves to enter God's holy temples when we harbor resentment and grudges towards others? 

    We all have times in our lives when others hurt us, but that doesn't mean we should shut them out of our lives.  This whole talk centered around forgiveness and that's what we should do.  Or else, we can and will be judged according to how we have judged others.

    Tuesday, April 17, 2012

    On This Day in History...The Mustang

    April 17, 1964…At the New York World's Fair, the Ford Motor Company formally introduced the Mustang. Priced at $2,368, 22,000 orders were taken the first day. The 1965 Mustang was the automaker's most successful launch since the Model A.
    ----------------------------------

    Monday, April 16, 2012

    On This Day in History...The British Royal Yacht, Britannia

    April 16, 1953…Britannia, the British royal yacht, was launched by Queen Elizabeth II. Following the Labour Party's victory in May 1997, it was announced that the vessel would be retired and no replacement would be built. Britannia was decommissioned on December 11, 1997 and is now permanently moored as a tourist attraction in the historic Port of Leith, Edinburgh, Scotland.
    ----------------------------------
    On July 22, 2000, Corey and I made a day trip to Edinburgh, Scotland.  It was a birthday present from Mum and Dad McLean who knew that I wanted to take Corey to visit that city.  It is one of the most beautiful cities I've ever been to and I wanted to share it with Corey.

    One of the things we did upon our arrival in Edinburgh was visit the royal yacht, Britannia. 



    This is Corey standing in front of the Royal Barge, a wooden boat, which was used by the royals when they disembarked from the yacht...



    Now he's standing in front of the front end of the yacht.  The item in his hand was used to give everyone the opportunity for a self-guided tour.  I do remember the wind blowing really cool.


    This is the back end of the yacht...


    He's only pretending to have bumped his head.  We loved the way the Brits and the Scots word things such as the sign in the background that read "Danger.  Mind your head."