What I Should Have Done Differently

Yesterday our stake had an "Education Day" for all the sisters.  I didn't go.  In fact, I've not been to one since we moved here.  There are several reasons I didn't or haven't been...

• Joe and I have been off on a daycation sometimes in the past so we haven't been in town or
• I may have forgotten or not been aware of it.

But, the primary reason(s) I didn't go yesterday...

• No one invited me to go with them.  No one even called to tell me or remind me about it.  This was important to me, particularly in this period of my life.  It's a hard thing to explain, especially to someone who has known me in the past.  I'm hesitant to go by myself.  I've been so used to doing everything with and for Joe for such a long time I've forgotten what it's like to me an independent, free-wheeling, go by myself person.  The only time I seem to be "not a couple" is running to the grocery store on occasion or taking care of the monthly household responsibilities. 
• I don't really know a lot of women here in the church.  I know some of the women in my ward and wonderful women they are.  However, once again I've not been the Relief Society on a regular basis so that has prohibited me getting to know the others I don't know.  And, how would I know if the women I do know were going yesterday?  I am so far out of my comfort zone these days.  It doesn't bother me to go to church on Sundays by myself.  In fact, I rather like being able to just absorb the quiet and enjoy the Spirit without having to tend to someone else's needs. 

It's no one's fault except myself that I didn't go yesterday.  I'm a big girl.  I could have hoisted up my big girl panties and gone.  Yes, I would have been late because I would have had to wait to get Joe into dialysis first.  And, I wouldn't have been able to stay for lunch because I would need to be ready to get him picked up after his session, but I could have gone - all by myself. 

More importantly, I have now realized these simple facts - I could have called someone.  I could have taken someone with me.  I, too, did not fulfill my calling as a Visiting Teacher.  I didn't call anyone to see if they knew about it.  I didn't offer to come and pick them up.  I didn't and now I wish I had.  Remember - don't point fingers at others when you haven't done what you should and could.  Hopefully, it'll be different next year.  (What was that?  That was the sound of me slapping my hand for being a bad girl).

Now I'm off to get ready for church and enjoy this absolutely wonderful, sun shining gorgeous day with my husband.