Thanks to Nikki...

she unwittingly created a monster. At the end of last year, Nikki said she was going to begin a blogspot so that everyone could keep up with the new baby and their family. I thought what a great idea! Maybe I'd also start one to write about myself so that maybe my own son (and daughter-in-law) might find out more about his mother, that my future grandchildren would have the opportunity of reading things about their parents, their grandparents and even their great-grandparents.

Years ago, I bought a book for my parents entitled "Reflections from a Mother's/Father's Heart" hoping they'd fill it out so that my family and I could discover interesting things about them. I'm still waiting and with the daily passage of time, the prospects aren't looking any better for them to return the book with completed entries. So, when it comes to blogging, I think of it as electronic journal keeping for me and my posterity. It's a way of my getting thoughts and feelings out - it's almost like there is a sense of urgency to express myself as soon and as often as possible. There are so many things I want to record and there seems to not be enough time. Maybe it's because I see the failing health of both Mom and Dad in these past few months. I realize that life is fragile and we are not guaranteed life will be the same for us tomorrow that it might have been for us today. I also realize that no matter what I try to accomplish in life, I wonder if there is something I should be doing? Is there something I'm missing? There are things that I would like to record, but won't and can't since this is after all an open forum for others to read. And, there are things best not spoken either aloud or "on paper" that might diminish my standing with those I love.

I find it very therapeutic to write - especially late at night before going to bed. Years ago for mental therapy I used to do counted cross-stitch (eyesight is too bad to try it anymore), make, paint and create one-of-a-kind wood crafts, antiqued dolls, etc. (Too much space and lack of time for those anymore). Reading isn't working either as I can't seem to get engrossed in any particular book - I don't even have time to read magazines. I've got some of them laying around with the plastic covers still intact. So, now that I've created my own personal musical playlist, I can sit here almost nightly recording my thoughts, with Joe snoring in the next room until he comes to remind me that I have to come to bed. And, reluctantly I leave until my next opportunity. So, just remember Joe, it's all Nikki's fault (thank you Nikki).