Sunday, May 25, 2008

Hmmmm....

I've always said that we go through phases in our lives - particularly women, I think. Mine were: childhood, teenaged years, college years and early jobs, my various career changes, marriage, motherhood, a single mother in midlife who went through divorce, another marriage, another career, becoming a grandmother, etc. Each life experience has left an indelible mark on my soul as well as a layer of memory. It's kind of like having a build up of sediment.

Someone once wrote that "we think that it's the big moments that define our lives - the wedding, the baby, the new house, the dream job. But really, these big moments of happiness are just the punctuation marks of our personal sagas. The narrative is written every day in the small, the simple, and the common. In your tiny choices, in these tiny changes. In the unconsidered. The overlooked. The discarded. The reclaimed."

Do you realize that there are only three ways to change how our life will go? That would be some type of crisis, chance or choice. My life at this exact moment is a direct result of choices I made somewhere in my life. That boggles my mind when I think about it. It was a family crisis that brought me to Shreveport, Louisiana, chance that Les lived next door and we were introduced and a choice that I made to marry him. Then once again, years later, it was a crisis (divorce), a chance meeting on the internet that caused Joe to find and woo me and my choice to marry him from all the men I met during that time.

Would I do things differently if I knew then what I know now? Certainly not! I would not be where I am now without having had those experiences. I would not have you, Corey, I would not have Nikki or Derek. I would not have Joe. And, how empty my life would be without any or all of you. No matter how painful some memories may be, there were also wonderful memories that kept me alive or I wouldn't be here today. Someone once wrote "The past is not only that which happened, but also that which could have happened, but did not." Think about that.

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