Wednesday - The kids arrived around 2:00 a.m. and it was so wonderful seeing them walk into the front door. I think it was at that time that I felt I could truly begin grieving because someone else was there to make decisions. In all honesty, I don't remember much about that Wednesday. I just remember people and food arriving and that's about it. I think that initial preparations were beginning to be made about some type of service for Joe.
The biggest thing I do remember from that day was Corey and I going to the funeral home to make arrangements for Joe. I think I wrote all about that in an earlier blog. It was just such a blessing having the details handled by a worthy member of the church who understood my desires and needs for the burial.
Thursday - This day is a fog also except I do remember going to the Social Security office with Nikki. I'm so glad so was with me so she could explain things to me later. I think it was sometime on this day that one of the most special things for me took place. Since Joe was going to be cremated all of his temple clothing was going to be placed with him since he body could not be dressed due to all of the harvesting of tissue and bones. Since I had no temple clothing for Joe, the stake graciously provided that for us, as well as tissue paper and ribbon. I had asked Corey and Nikki if they would please be the ones to prepare the temple packet for Joe while I observed. They agreed and before they began, we all knelt for a prayer around the ottoman. Then, I sat on the couch and watched them lovingly, reverently, respectfully prepare the packet of clothing. What a beautiful moment in time that was. And then, they took and delivered it to the funeral home.
Friday - Brian, Amy and Rachel, Elaine, Lauren and Claire arrived from Cincinnati, Ohio after traveling since Tuesday. They took me to lunch which was so nice as it had been about 7 years since I had seen them. In fact, Claire was not even born at that time. Joe and I had stopped by to visit with them when we were on our honeymoon in Indiana where they lived at the time.
Lunch and the wonderful company was so nice. I was so glad that Brian had come and brought the family although I had tried to dissuade them. I knew I wasn't going planning a funeral program at that time and knowing the time and expense it would take for them to come, I didn't want to cause them any inconvenience. I'd spoken to Brian many times on the phone over the course of my marriage and had thoroughly enjoyed doing so, but Joe and Brian had a very strained relationship and spoke very little. Very little until the last few months of Joe's life. I don't know exactly what happened years ago, but my heart always hurt because they were missing out on the opportunity of being able to have a great relationship. I do know that Joe was so very sorry that he and Brian didn't have a great father/son camaraderie. So, I was so happy when Brian and his entire family showed up. They were a great comfort to me and it was wonderful for me to observe some healing between my kids and Brian and hopefully for Brian a better sense of hearing and seeing how much his father was loved by so many people. (We've never heard anything else from Joe's other son, Jason, to this day).
The most special event of the day was when Corey and Brian both went to the funeral home to pick up the box of Joe's ashes. I thought it was quite appropriate that both of my sons went to do one last act of love for Joe. It was so very strange to have Joe returned home in a rectangular black box. He now sits on a bookcase shelf in the living room now.
I genuinely love Brian. He reminds me so much of his father, with his looks, his voice and his temperment.
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