Reality Check?

So, after we'd gotten home this evening from our "daycation" and as I was helping put Joe to bed he said, "I'm going blind".  He's so sure of it that he called his best friend, Roger, and told him while I was running out to pick us up something to eat.  I didn't venture to ask him if this was just today or something noticeable for several days.  (In my heart and my mind though I do believe it's not just today now that I think back on clues in the recent days).

"Oh, no" I said.  I'm sure that it's only because we were in such bright sunlight today during our exploring.  After all, the temperature was between 85-96 degrees with beautiful bright skies and I'm sure that's what it is.  And, if that's the case, we definitely need to get you some darker sunglasses that wrap around to go over yours.  (He has transitional lenses that turn to sunglasses when necessary).  My eyes hurt a little too so I'm sure it's just the long day and the bright sun for both of us."

Then he said, "You're probably right.  The glasses would probably be a good idea.  Thank you." as I kissed his sweet, freshly-showered fuzzy head.

He's sleeping now so he doesn't know and can't tell if his eyesight will be better in the morning or not.  I'm hoping and praying that it's his "normal" sense of sight when he wakes up.  He has mentioned from time to time today though that he can't seem to focus on things like Chimney Rock or some antelopes or whatever I might have pointed out to him no matter what I did to try to steer him in that direction.  Even looking through his binoculars (which he suggested bringing along) didn't seem to help.  I think back on it now as I am sitting here thinking over the course of the day.  Was he trying to tell me then and I was just too preoccupied to get his "drift" or was I just subconsciously putting that conversation on hold?  After all, it was exceedingly bright all day long.

I know and he knows that we know that he will in all probability go blind and it could come at any time.  The eye doctors, the specialists, the opthmalogists, the optometrists, eye surgeons - all those people have done everything they can do to extend his opportunities to see his new surroundings.  I believe that's why Joe has willingly accepted the receipt of and the learning of how to use his walking cane.   He's trying to learn its use now while there is some eyesight left.

Oh, my heart is aching if indeed his sight is diminishing and that maybe those pieces of "swiss cheese" in which he peers though in his beautiful blue eyes are deteriorating.  If that is the case, then please Heavenly Father stop!  Don't take it anymore away from him.  Only now is he finally beginning to live and really enjoy life as a fairly independent man.  Only recently have I finally gotten him to leave the confines of our home and venture out amongst non-medical potential friends and acquaintances.  He's finally becoming somewhat resourceful again without me being there for him most of his waking hours.  Why would it be necessary to take even more away from his quality of life?

So, as I prepare to go to bed, my last hope and prayer for this day is that when Joe awakes in the morning that his eyes will have been refreshed by a good night's sleep; that the loss he felt today was indeed because of the beautiful sun filled day.