P.S. to It's 2012

I want things to improve so well this year that conversations with friends and family will not start off...

"How's Joe doing"?  I want things to be so improved in both our lives that people will say, "Well, what have you been up to Carol"?

(Note:  It's coincidental that I wrote that earlier.  I was reading a daily excerpt from "Daily Comforts for Caregivers" when I read this..."People are always asking me how my loved one is doing.  I'm glad they care enough to ask.  I wish sometimes they would ask about me as well.  I could use a show of concern.

It seems odd that I'm feeling a little jealous over the attention being given to the person I care for.  I wouldn't want to loved one's shoes.  Yet, although my problems might seem small by comparison, I'm having a difficult time, too.  The problems my loved one experiences are more apparent than mine".

I can honestly say that there have been very few people who have really looked me in the eye and asked me how I am doing and whom I have felt have really meant it.  Don't get me wrong, people are concerned and I am grateful that they do ask about Joe and then me as an afterthought.   However, I am beginning to believe that unless you have truly lived and experienced having to care for someone virtually 24/7, you will never be able to understand.  I never really understood before Joe's problems.  I never really understood what my dad was/is going through with my mom.  I admit that I had even judged my own father harshly at times for things he said or did to my mom.  Now we talk to each other on a regular basis, share common problems and try to solve problems that may come up.  One thing I have over him is that I am so lucky to have a friend who has already gone through this before and she is there as a mentor, a sounding board and someone to give me hugs and "comfort and joy" cookies on really bad days).