Thursday, January 24, 2008

The Velveteen Rabbit - My favorite children's story


I don't remember the first time I read "The Velveteen Rabbit". I only know that I fell in love with it when I did. In case you've never read it or have forgotten what it's about...


The story starts when a boy got too many Christmas presents. Out of all of them one was special...it was a velveteen rabbit. The boy loved the rabbit (for about a day) and then the rabbit was forgotten in the boy's huge closet where he became very lonely.

Soon after, the boy lost his favorite stuffed animal and he would not got to sleep without it. His nanny, who wanted to make him feel better, grabbed the rabbit out of the closet and said, "This one will have to do." Then the boy and the rabbit became inseparable.

When the boy was gone from his room, the rabbit made a friend, a rocking horse. The horse told the rabbit that he was real and the rabbit asked how he could become real. The horse replied, "Lots of love".


One day the boy told his nanny that the rabbit was real. The rabbit was so excited he just couldn't wait to tell the horse! Soon after, the boy got really sick and was for a very long time. After he recovered, the doctor told the boy's family to burn everything that was in the nursery when he was sick, including the velveteen rabbit. The boy was moved to a different room and everything in his old room was bogged up, taken behind the tool shed and left until time was found to burn them. That night, the rabbit fell out of the bag and a fairy came down and turned him into a real rabbit.

The moral of the story is that if you believe in something and you never stop believing, maybe it will come true.


It's a wonderful story about love and I hope that one day my grandchildren will love it also.
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The rabbit shown above is the one given to me by my Great Granddaddy Orvin Cattell. That's him pictured on the left holding me. I remember nothing at all about him. In fact, I'd always thought that the rabbit had been given to me by my Grandfather Cattell before he passed away from cancer. I only found out I had the wrong misconception just a few years ago. Mom told me that my great grandfather had given her the money to buy Susan and me a rabbit for Easter that he later gave to us.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Mr. Bill


Who was Mr. Bill? First of all, he's the guy sitting on the left-hand side of the picture. He was Bill Harrison a young man who as I remember was about 23 years old and was assigned to your Granddaddy's Air Force squadron when we were living at Yokota AB, Japan in 1961. He was a nice Christian guy and he wound up being our babysitter on many occasions. I was only about 9 years old and not old enough to babysit even though I was the oldest. Granddaddy was in the hospital at Tachikawa AB experiencing severe back problems and was there for several months - yes months, around seven if I remember correctly. The hospital was quite a distance away and naturally Grandmother wanted to go visit and spend as much time with him as she could. Since we had only been in country for about five months and not members of the Church at that time, Grandmother didn't know a lot of people, Mr. Bill either volunteered or was volunteered to babysit. He was great! He would help us with our homework; he would feed us our meals; he would take us to the movie. Mr. Bill loved to take pictures and developed his own and one day invited me to go to the base Hobby Shop and where he taught me how to develop pictures using a darkroom. What a great time we used to have doing that.
I could never describe who he was exactly. He wasn't like a big brother, he wasn't like an uncle - he was just Mr. Bill and even as I grew much older, he was still Mr. Bill. One day it came time for Mr. Bill to rotate back stateside and I remember us taking him to the airport thinking I'd never see him again. I loved Mr. Bill. He was always so much fun to have around and I was so upset to see him go.
As it worked out, Mr. Bill was sent to Japan once again and so he was back in our lives. The next time someone left, it was us. But, he showed up again when we were living at Eglin AFB, Florida near Ft. Walton Beach. I remember him showing up one time with a purple dune buggy and he took us to the beach and we rode up and down sand dunes for as long as he could stand it. Every time we saw Mr. Bill he always had some new and exciting car or piece of equipment. You never knew what to expect from him.
When I graduated from high school in Valdosta, guess who showed up again? Yep, Mr. Bill. He came for my graduation. Of course by this time he'd married and had children. He used to tell me that since he couldn't marry me (since I was way too young), he did the best that he could and married a wonderful woman named Carol. No matter what, I knew I could always count on Mr. Bill if I needed him and it didn't matter where he was.
One day many years ago, sometime in the 80's, maybe 90's, I was sitting at home when I got a phone call that Mr. Bill had died. I remember it was around July 4th and I knew I had to be at his funeral. (And you know how much I hate funerals)! So, without hesitation, your grandmother and I packed our bags and headed to Spartanburg, South Carolina to attend his funeral. I remember standing at the casket taking my last look at the man I had loved for the majority of my life. And, even though I was now a much older person with a child of my own, he was still and will always be Mr. Bill. Carol was standing next to me holding my hands and was telling me how much he'd love me and my family. Up until that point, I had known Mr. Bill longer than anyone outside of my family. He was the biggest non-family constant in my life and I did feel a loss at his passing. I remember the following Christmas that Carol wrote me a wonderful letter about Mr. Bill. I saved it somewhere because it was so special and hope to run across it sometime and share it with you too. So, that's the story of Mr. Bill.

Ladies Man!


Look what happens when I clean out drawers! I find interesting items such as this "love note" from Christina Ruberson. Did she have a crush on you? I think this must have been shortly after the Ruberson's moved to Tifton.

I'm sure I'll run into something else interesting.

I Hope You Dance


I was sitting here this afternoon listening to music while working on the computer. Then the song "I Hope You Dance" came on. And, as usual I had to stop and listen to the song and the words. They always make me think of you Corey and the song always makes me cry. I guess the reason is that the song was popular around the time that your dad and I were in the mist of our divorce. And, the song said so many things that I wished I could say to you, but couldn't since I'm not a poet or songwriter.

Leann Womack said somewhere that "The thing about this song is it can be so many things to so many different people. Certainly, it can be everything a parent hopes for their child, but it also can be for a relationship that's ending as a fond wish for the other person's happiness. It can be for someone graduating from school or embarking on some new path...It fits almost every circumstance I can think of."

That's why when I hear the words I wanted you to not be discouraged in love just because your dad and I didn't stay together. I wanted you to have faith that all would be well and that you would trust people and continue to feel the excitement of what life could offer you and that you would find your real love. And, thank goodness you did. You got Nikki and aren't we all lucky!

"I hope you never lose your sense of wonder, May you get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger, May you never take one single breath forgranted, God forbid love ever leave you empty handed.

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean. Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens. Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance, And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance...I hope you dance.

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance. Never settle for the path of least resistance. Living might mean taking chances, but they're worth taking. Loving might be a mistake but it's worth making.

Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter, When you come close to selling out reconsider. Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance, And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance!" And, just in case you ever want to listen to the song, just click on and listen...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIAWY4LLsEw

Monday, January 21, 2008

My Last Visit With Grandmother McGhee


This is something that I wrote many years ago and just recently found in a drawer. I know that some people may say this confirms that I am a crazy person, but I know what I experienced is true.

I grew up as an "Air Force Brat". Consequently, I never was exposed to people who were really sick and no one ever died around me so death and sickness was a very frightening thing for me. In fact, the first time that I ever went to a funeral in my adult life was when I was about 19 or 20 years old and it was highly tramatizing for me. And, it wasn't someone I was close to - just the lady who lived behind us in the house in Brookfield. Also, because we were stationed at various bases all my younger life, I was not able to cultivate a "normal" relationship with my grandparents.

My story begins many years ago and for ten years, I searched for an answer to my experience.

My grandmother was gravely ill and expected to die at any time. Although she was not of our faith, she was probably the most religious personal I've ever met in my life. She was a woman who put her entire faith in the healing power of God and, therefore, she would not go to the hospital, so it was only a matter of time until she died.

I woke up that Saturday morning with a feeling that I really should go visit Grandmother. Because you were still very young and had not yet visited with Santa to give him your Christmas list, I convinced myself that that was the most important thing to do that day and that I would go visit Grandmother later. Later never came.

My dad called my home very early the next morning to tell me that Grandmother had died. I accepted the news matter-of-factly and proceeded to get dressed and ready for church. It was while attending church that I was suddently and violently hit with feelings of extreme guilt and remorse. Guilt that I had not taken the time to go and visit with her. I felt so overcome with guilt that I couldn't even bring myself to attend her funeral a couple of days later.

Some three weeks later, your dad and I were taking our "Sunday afternoon nap" when I suddenly awoke. I felt the presence of someone standing next to my bed. When I looked, there was my grandmother. It seemed to me such a natural thing that she should be there and I experienced no fright. I spoke to her and asked what she was doing there and she told me that "she had come to give me a message". About the time she was going to tell me the "message", the bedroom door opened and you walked in. Grandmother had disappeared and no one else had seen nor heard her. Not even your dad who was still sleeping and had never stirred. I will got to my grave knowing that she had indeed been in my bedroom and had spoken to me just as you and I would speak to each other. I, however, felt very sad and cheated to not have received her message.

I remember talking to my mom some days later and asking her if Grandmother had ever come to visit her and she said "no". I related my experience to her and she said that Grandmother had probably come to tell me it was alright that I had not come to visit her that last day since I was still feeling guilt. I wanted to believe what my mother said, but still wanted and needed some other type of confirmation since I felt that is what any loving mother would say to her daughter.

For years I searched and prayed for an answer to "why"? ABC's 20/20 had a program about people who'd had similar experiences such as me, so I knew I wasn't too crazy. I read books referred to on the program and prayed for an answer many times.

Finally, one day I was sitting in the backyard reading a book that Aunt Susie had given me for a Christmas present. It was entitled "Sanctuary" by Sister Chieko Okazaki. And, when I reached page 150, Sister Okazaki was relating her experience of the night her father died. She said she was awakened by the feeling of something brushing her hair. Later after speaking with her brother, he related that he had had a similar experience after being awakened. Her mother said, "The Japanese say that when the spirit departs, it will return once more to the home and leave a message for the person in greatest need".

When I read that, I remember starting to cry. After more than ten years, I had finally received my answer, my own personal revelation. My mom had been right all along, because I truly felt that my grandmother had come to comfort me and let me know that I no longer needed to feel guilt! Perhaps my grandmother felt that I was a person who was in greatest need!

I will be eternally grateful for this experience and I know as sure as the sun rises that my grandmother stood in my room and spoke to me because she loved me enough to come comfort me even in death.
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The necklace...this necklace was given to me by Grandmother McGhee before we went to Japan in 1961 as a birthday present when I was almost 9 years old. I have no idea where she got it from, but only know that I thought it was the most beautiful necklace in the whole world. I imagined that the middle stone is a beautiful ruby (since that is my birthstone) and that the stones around the edges were diamonds. I've never had the necklace appraised by any jeweler, so who knows I could have a very expensive necklace. The surprising part about the necklace is that I still have it. Considering all the places I've traveled and lived, I've hung onto it which is truly a miracle. I never am able to keep jewelry. I've lost my ruby birthstone ring that was given to me by my parents when I was seven. I've lost my high school class ring. I lost my diamond engagement ring given to me by your dad. Remember I temporarily (for over a year) lost the Mother's ring you gave me? Thank goodness Joe found it! Atleast I have never lost the necklace you gave me for Mother's Day either. Maybe that's why I'm not a "jewelry kinda gal"? It's too much pressure to have jewelry! So now do you see why it's amazing I've still got the necklace in my possession? It'll stay in my jewelry box until whenever. How special would it be if I had the opportunity to pass it on to my own little granddaughter sometime? So, you guys better make sure there's a little female Preston to inherit the necklace sometime in the future, huh?



Love Notes From Joe


One of the things that is so special about Joe is that he writes me love notes. They aren't poems, but rather thoughts about his feelings for me. He's done this randomly for me since we first met and they literally melt my heart since I'd never had anyone write a "poem" for me that I can remember. I have come home from work and found them under my pillow, laying on the kitchen table or somewhere he knows that I'll find them. So, I decided to share some of them and I'll also have a copy in case I happen to lose the originals.

Carol, For You

I love being with you. Your presence brings a smile to my heart.
I love being apart if only to long for your return and your embrace and kiss.
Being apart gives me a chance to listen to your smile on the phone, to know you from afar.
And to look forward to your closeness. For me this is all new. Although I've been in these circumstances before,
No one has ever loved or cared for me as much as you.

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Happy Valentine's Day 2007

Years are beginning to pass and our differences are getting smaller.
Funny how living together brings us closer.
Thoughts and actions of one are are predestinedto be that of the other.
As our differences grow smaller, our love is getting deeper and genuine.
Have no doubt of my love, my love.
I'm committed to you as I know, you're committed to me.
Life's uncertainties will be overcome by our committment to what is important - us.
So uncertainty will soon bloom into new opportunity.
So let's look forward, hand in hand, with eager anticipation of the future.
Our love will sustain and guide us if we let it.
The future may bring something old, or something completely new.
But being together, and in love, will overcome any obstacles.
To that end, I pledge my love.

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More love notes later...


Old Family Recipes


Tonight to go along with our delicious, homemade leftover turkey soup that I'd made, I thought I'd also make some of my mom's sweet cornbread. It's totally different from what my own Grandmother McGhee used to make. Hers had nothing sweet added to it and it was usually made to be eaten at every meal. But, the treat for me as a young girl was coming to visit her and eating cornbread and milk for dinner. The large meal of the day was always eaten for lunch, so for "supper" many times the leftover cornbread was broken up and then milk was poured over on the top - something we never ate at our home. Anyway, my mom's cornbread was sweetened with sugar and smeared with margarine and jelly and tasted so good! It's rare that I ever make it anymore. In fact, it's been years since I've done so. In almost four years of marriage, I'd never made it for Joe at all. So, here's the recipe for you to enjoy sometime...
1 cup flour 1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt 1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup cornmeal (not cornmeal mix)
1 cup milk 1 egg - well beaten
1 tablespoon oil
Mix the flour, baking powder, salt and sugar together. Add the cornmeal. Set aside. Add milk to the beaten egg. Add to the first mixture. Add the oil and blend well. Pour into a greased 8" pan and bake at 400 degrees for about 20 minutes.
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The recipe shown above is for my mom's "Gooey Chocolate Cake"! It's written in her own hand on a couple of recipe cards and if you click on the picture, it will enlarge it and you can actually read it clearly. Before I married your dad, one of my wedding presents was a collection of recipes that grandmother and Aunt Nancy wrote out for me and put together on a little yellow recipe holder. It's been used many times as evidenced by the mysterious food stains. Anyway, this has got to be one of the best chocolate cakes I've ever had in my life.
The cake:
1 Duncan Hines cake mix (she ALWAYS insisted it had to be Duncan Hines)
1 box of chocolate instant pudding
4 eggs
1 cup milk
1/2 cup oil
Mix well and put into 3 9" pans. Bake at 300 degrees.
The frosting:
2/3 cup cocoa 1/8 teaspoon salt
3 cups sugar 1 1/2 cups milk
1/4 cup butter or margarine 1 teaspoon vanilla
Mix all ingredients EXCEPT VANILLA. Cook until quite thick, then add the vanilla and cook for a short while longer. Put on cake while still warm. (The she wrote: Make chocolate fudge cake into three layers. Slice each layer).
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Then there are the brownies!!! My mom was famous for these brownies. My earliest memory of these brownies is her making these when I was 1o years old and we were living in Yokota, Japan in 1961. She and the neighbors who lived in our little cul-de-sac used to get together for coffee and goodies and she was always requested to bring the brownies. (Grandmother and Granddaddy were not members of the Church at this time so they were still drinking coffee).
Place all ingredients in a large bowl...
3/4 cup flour 1/2 cup shortening
1 cup sugar 2 eggs - beaten
5 tablespoons cocoa 1 teaspoon vanilla
1/2 teaspoon salt 1/2 cup nuts (you could substitute raisins too - yuk!)
Beat with mixer for three minutes. Bake in greased pan at 350 degrees for 25 minutes.
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You know that Key Lime is my favorite pie, but Red Velvet is my favorite cake! Isn't it funny that this is your favorite one too, Corey? How'd that happen?
The cake:
1 white cake mix (remember, it's Duncan Hines) 1 instant vanilla pudding mix
4 eggs 1/2 cup Crisco oil
1 cup buttermilk 3 tablespoons cocoa
1 teaspoon baking soda 1 bottle red food coloring
Mix ingredients, then fold in 1 tablespoon vinegar into the cake mixture. Pour into 3 cake pans and bake at 300 degrees.
The cream cheese frosting:
1/2 cup margarine 1 8 oz. pkg. cream cheese
1 teaspoon vanilla 1 box sifted 4X or 10X confectionary sugar
Cream margarine, cream cheese and vanilla. Add powdered sugar a little at a time until smooth and creamy.
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And, last but not least...this is the oldest recipe of all. It's my Grandmother's Pound Cake recipe. No matter how many times I tried to make it, it never turned out the way Grandmother McGhee or my mom could make it. Mine always seemed to fall - they tasted good though. Hopefully Nikki (or Corey) you will have much better luck. But no matter what, this is a fantastic pound cake.
1 cup Crisco (I think Grandmother McGhee used lard instead) 1 stick margarine
Cream together. Then add 1 small can of evaporated milk. Pour half in and beat. Add two cups sugar, beat well, then add rest of milk. Add two teaspoons each of vanilla and lemon extracts. Add three cups of flour, one at a time, beating well after each one. Add 4-5 eggs (the price of eggs being about $1.94 a dozen at this time) adding one at a time and beating well after each one. Bake at 275 degrees for 3 hours.
This is truly the old family recipe - the oldest one I remember eating throughout my life.
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So, start cooking and hopefully one or all of these recipes will inspire fond memories for you.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Beginnings - Random Thoughts

Here it the beginning of a new year - 2008. I know, I know, it's already 20 days into the new year, but better late than never to start something new.

A couple of weeks ago when I was teaching my Gospel Doctrine class, we were talking about journals - how Nephi condensed his father's record and then made an account of his own life. Then there were the questions offered to the class (and myself), "Could you write a record of your life in a personal journal? Is your life history interesting enough for others to read? Many people say, 'I'm nobody. Who would want to hear stories of my life? They are all dull and insignificant." That's the way I've feel about my life. I seem to talk all the time about the same things over and over and they don't sound very interesting. But, then that's probably the way my mom and dad feel about their lives and I would love to know so much more about the real them - their thoughts, their feelings as they grew up, become parents and what they wanted to do and have done in their lives. Maybe one day you, Corey, and you, Nikki, will want to know more about me too. Maybe one day something that I've written will inspire you, but most especially maybe by beginning to start writing about me and my life, my grandchildren can discover the real me. Maybe I'll even discover things about myself that I hadn't thought about for years. Hopefully, this will be one of those "New Year's Resolutions" that can be kept on a regular basis....It will be random thoughts and memories - good and bad. But, I have been taught many truths by my parents, friends and teachers. I have had afflictions, trials, tribulations and challenges during my life. I have been highly blessed by my Heavenly Father, both spiritually and temporally. I have been blessed with a knowledge of my Heavenly Father's goodness to me. So, I can say, as Nephi did, "therefore I make a record" of these important events in my life. Not to be judged as either good or bad, but solely as my own personal experiences that have made me who I am and brought me to this point in my life.

So ready or not, here goes...

First and foremost, I want you to know that I am the most blessed woman in the world when it comes to my husband, Joe. I truly believe that the Lord had him reserved for me until such time as we were ready for each other. I love him for so many reasons...primarily because he makes me laugh! When I say laugh, I mean genuinely laugh until I have tears in my eyes and he makes me laugh every day. It could be from the moment I wake up in the morning until the last kiss goodnight. That may seem like a small thing to some people, but if you've ever been in a relationship where you don't really experience true joy and laughter, it comes as a blessing to have a person such as Joe in your life. Marriage is being able to share the good times and the bad times together and that means being able to cry and to laugh together and knowing that your husband is truly your best friend. It's one thing when your child loves you because hopefully you've been a good enough mother that you earn his love, but it's truly something different when a complete stranger accepts you with all your faults and shows his love to you each and every day without any expectations. You now how you sometimes find a song that expresses your feeling about someone or something? Well, the other day I was sitting at my desk listening to music when a song came on the computer radio station and I realized that it was the kind of song someone could have written for me to be sung about Joe. It was Bette Midler singing "My One True Friend". The lyrics go like this:

And now, is it too late to say, How you made my life so different in your quiet way? I can see the joy in simple things, A sunlit sky and all the songs we used to sing. I have walked and I have prayed. I could forgive and we could start again. In the end, You are my one true friend.

For all the times you closed your eyes, Allowing me to stumble or to be surprised, By life, with all its twists and turns. I made mistakes, you always knew that I would learn And when I left, it's you who stayed. You always knew that I'd come home again. In the end, you are my one true friend.

Though love may break, it never dies. It changes shape, through changing eyes. What I denied, I now can see. You always were the light inside of me. I know, I know, I know, I know it was you.

I have walked and and I have I prayerd. I could forgive and we could start again. In the end, you are my one true friend. My one true friend. I always, always knew, I always knew that it was you, my one true friend.

I've tried to include an easy way for you to see the video of the song. If it doesn't link you up, then atleast here is the address. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eZLdGUfJsC0

Well, enough about Joe for the moment as I could go on and on about him. You can rest assured there will be more about him in coming posts. As a mother and a wife, I only wish you two the kind of happiness and love that I have with Joe.