This is something that I wrote many years ago and just recently found in a drawer. I know that some people may say this confirms that I am a crazy person, but I know what I experienced is true.
I grew up as an "Air Force Brat". Consequently, I never was exposed to people who were really sick and no one ever died around me so death and sickness was a very frightening thing for me. In fact, the first time that I ever went to a funeral in my adult life was when I was about 19 or 20 years old and it was highly tramatizing for me. And, it wasn't someone I was close to - just the lady who lived behind us in the house in Brookfield. Also, because we were stationed at various bases all my younger life, I was not able to cultivate a "normal" relationship with my grandparents.
My story begins many years ago and for ten years, I searched for an answer to my experience.
My grandmother was gravely ill and expected to die at any time. Although she was not of our faith, she was probably the most religious personal I've ever met in my life. She was a woman who put her entire faith in the healing power of God and, therefore, she would not go to the hospital, so it was only a matter of time until she died.
I woke up that Saturday morning with a feeling that I really should go visit Grandmother. Because you were still very young and had not yet visited with Santa to give him your Christmas list, I convinced myself that that was the most important thing to do that day and that I would go visit Grandmother later. Later never came.
My dad called my home very early the next morning to tell me that Grandmother had died. I accepted the news matter-of-factly and proceeded to get dressed and ready for church. It was while attending church that I was suddently and violently hit with feelings of extreme guilt and remorse. Guilt that I had not taken the time to go and visit with her. I felt so overcome with guilt that I couldn't even bring myself to attend her funeral a couple of days later.
Some three weeks later, your dad and I were taking our "Sunday afternoon nap" when I suddenly awoke. I felt the presence of someone standing next to my bed. When I looked, there was my grandmother. It seemed to me such a natural thing that she should be there and I experienced no fright. I spoke to her and asked what she was doing there and she told me that "she had come to give me a message". About the time she was going to tell me the "message", the bedroom door opened and you walked in. Grandmother had disappeared and no one else had seen nor heard her. Not even your dad who was still sleeping and had never stirred. I will got to my grave knowing that she had indeed been in my bedroom and had spoken to me just as you and I would speak to each other. I, however, felt very sad and cheated to not have received her message.
I remember talking to my mom some days later and asking her if Grandmother had ever come to visit her and she said "no". I related my experience to her and she said that Grandmother had probably come to tell me it was alright that I had not come to visit her that last day since I was still feeling guilt. I wanted to believe what my mother said, but still wanted and needed some other type of confirmation since I felt that is what any loving mother would say to her daughter.
For years I searched and prayed for an answer to "why"? ABC's 20/20 had a program about people who'd had similar experiences such as me, so I knew I wasn't too crazy. I read books referred to on the program and prayed for an answer many times.
Finally, one day I was sitting in the backyard reading a book that Aunt Susie had given me for a Christmas present. It was entitled "Sanctuary" by Sister Chieko Okazaki. And, when I reached page 150, Sister Okazaki was relating her experience of the night her father died. She said she was awakened by the feeling of something brushing her hair. Later after speaking with her brother, he related that he had had a similar experience after being awakened. Her mother said, "The Japanese say that when the spirit departs, it will return once more to the home and leave a message for the person in greatest need".
When I read that, I remember starting to cry. After more than ten years, I had finally received my answer, my own personal revelation. My mom had been right all along, because I truly felt that my grandmother had come to comfort me and let me know that I no longer needed to feel guilt! Perhaps my grandmother felt that I was a person who was in greatest need!
I will be eternally grateful for this experience and I know as sure as the sun rises that my grandmother stood in my room and spoke to me because she loved me enough to come comfort me even in death.
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The necklace...this necklace was given to me by Grandmother McGhee before we went to Japan in 1961 as a birthday present when I was almost 9 years old. I have no idea where she got it from, but only know that I thought it was the most beautiful necklace in the whole world. I imagined that the middle stone is a beautiful ruby (since that is my birthstone) and that the stones around the edges were diamonds. I've never had the necklace appraised by any jeweler, so who knows I could have a very expensive necklace. The surprising part about the necklace is that I still have it. Considering all the places I've traveled and lived, I've hung onto it which is truly a miracle. I never am able to keep jewelry. I've lost my ruby birthstone ring that was given to me by my parents when I was seven. I've lost my high school class ring. I lost my diamond engagement ring given to me by your dad. Remember I temporarily (for over a year) lost the Mother's ring you gave me? Thank goodness Joe found it! Atleast I have never lost the necklace you gave me for Mother's Day either. Maybe that's why I'm not a "jewelry kinda gal"? It's too much pressure to have jewelry! So now do you see why it's amazing I've still got the necklace in my possession? It'll stay in my jewelry box until whenever. How special would it be if I had the opportunity to pass it on to my own little granddaughter sometime? So, you guys better make sure there's a little female Preston to inherit the necklace sometime in the future, huh?
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