Jots and Thoughts

More Changes?

2012-01-27T10:24:00.004-07:00

I have to keep reminding myself each day that "Today is the best day ever"! It's become a daily mantra. I am finding out that with each day, things keep evolving and change is definitely inevitable. Life seems to be on a slow motion spiral and when it will end only our Heavenly Father knows. I realize that generally today won't be as good as yesterday, but that today will most likely be better than tomorrow. This primarily relates to Joe and the unpredictableness (hmm, is that even a word?) of his life.

We are now in week two of such changes for Joe. He has been exhibiting the following symptoms on pretty much a daily basis. His physical therapist would not even work with him the other day for fear of Joe collapsing or worse. The symptoms include:

the worse of which is...plummeting blood pressure. It went from 190/something to 80/43 in just the matter of minutes while at the cardiologist's office for a routine pacemaker checkup.
loss of use of his legs wherein he starts to bobble in his legs and then collapses. When assisted, his legs tend to just drag.
a slight trembling in his hands.
an irregular heartbeat.

I am grateful that when these episodes have happened I haven't been alone with him as he becomes total dead weight and it is difficult to hold him up. And, they have been witnessed while at the Senior Center by their staff, while at dialysis, while at physical therapy and most importantly, while at the cardiologist's office. It helps to validate and confirm that there is something wrong happening.

Are these symptoms related to his new medications from a couple of weeks ago? Are these symptoms related to the possibility of fluid returning to his brain? Thus far this month, we have made two trips to the emergency room, had an appointment with his cardiologist, have an appointment with a neurologist next week, have had an appointment with his primary care doctor and telephone conversations with his kidney doctor and various nurses and have no answers yet. I have been told to remove one of his blood pressure medications and move one from the morning dose to the evening dose.

At this point, it's a matter of wait and see what happens.

2012-01-19T15:54:00.004-07:00

"A friend can tell you the things you don't want to tell yourself." ~Frances Ward Weller

Fireproofing My Marriage

2012-01-18T09:32:00.000-07:00

This last week has really been an eyeopener for me and my relationship with Joe. There was an incident that took place one evening between Joe and I that had never happened before regarding Joe's mental state. It was so frightening to me that I discussed it with his doctor the next day and she urged me to get him to the emergency room as soon as possible to have a full workup done on him. So, I did just that. We were at the emergency room some 7 1/2 hours while a series of tests took place. And, near the end of the ER stay, a case worker came and spoke to each one of us individually. Long story short - the emergency room doctor discussed Joe's unusual irrational behavior with a phone call to both his neurologist and nephrologist for a consult and direction on a new medication. It was/has been determined that apparently Joe's vascular dementia is becoming worse. He's now been put on another medication that will hopefully alleviate some of the stress/irritation he's been feeling, especially towards me.

I've been quite stressed and frustrated with the deterioration of my relationship with Joe. It's been very difficult to regard him as my husband and companion when so many of the things he's been doing have been so juvenile or childlike. A very good friend suggested that I have to learn to "pick my battles"...meaning learn what I think is important enough to correct Joe about in his everyday activities. I have to learn what he is and is not capable of doing. He just flat out is not able to function mentally like he used to and I have to accept that. A perfect example of that occurred yesterday at his physical therapy session. He was having a very detailed oriented conversation with his therapist about something he'd read many years ago. He was quoting specific numbers and data. I was amazed at how his long term memory is so intact and at the same time realizing, along with his therapist, how fractured his short term memory is becoming. All this has slowly been working up to a point of frustration for both Joe and me - a point of frequent irritation and misunderstanding. I haven't been picking my battles. I hadn't understood until this last week that nothing will change Joe's behavior with all the fussing in the world. I've learned that if he continues to not flush the toilet, or he wipes toothpaste on the clean hand towel or he gets into the food items on the second shelf of the refrigerator, his mind will not or cannot comprehend that he's doing something "wrong or unacceptable". I'm learning to just flush to toilet or change the towel or whatever because it's just quicker, easier and won't cause extra contention. I am trying to learn to serve my husband.

One of the things that has also helped was watching a movie I'd had on the DVR for several weeks. It was called "Fireproof". We finally got around to sitting down together to watch it.

It's about...At work, inside burning buildings, Capt. Caleb Holt lives by the old firefighter's adage: Never leave your partner behind. At home, in the cooling embers of his marriage, he lives by his own rules. After seven years of marriage, Caleb and Catherine Holt have drifted so far apart that Catherine wishes she had never married. Neither one understands the pressures the other faces--he as firefighter and she as the public relations director of a hospital. Regular arguments over jobs, finances, housework, and outside interests have readied them both to move on to something with more sparks.

As the couple prepares to enter divorce proceedings, Caleb's father challenges his son to commit to a 40-day experiment he calls 'The Love Dare.' Wondering if it's even worth the effort, Caleb agrees, but more for his father's sake more than for his marriage. When Caleb discovers the book's daily challenges are tied into his parents' new found faith, his already limited interest is further dampened. While trying to stay true to his promise, Caleb becomes frustrated time and again. He finally asks his father, 'How am I supposed to show love to somebody who constantly rejects me?' When his father explains that this is the love God shows to us, Caleb makes a life-changing commitment to love God. And--with God's help--he begins to understand what it means to truly love his wife. But is it too late to fireproof his marriage? His job is to rescue others. Now Caleb Holt is ready to face his toughest job ever--rescuing his wife's heart.

As I watched this movie, it made a real change in my perspective about how I had been treating Joe and not having patience with the things he can't do any longer. I'd taken some notes during the movie about some of the things that had been said that made a real impact with me. The "Love Dare" were things like...

The first part of this dare is fairly simple. Although love is communicated in a number of ways, our words often reflect the condition of our heart. For the next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation arises, choose to not say anything. It's better to hold your tongue than to say something you'll regret.

In addition to saying nothing negative to your spouse again today, do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.

Whatever you put your time, energy, and money into will become more important to you. It's hard to care for something you are not investing in. Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says "I was thinking of you today."

Contact your spouse sometime during the business of the day. Have no agenda other than asking how he or she is doing and if there is anything you could do for them.

Think of a specific way you'd like to greet your spouse today. Do it with a smile and with enthusiasm. Then determine to change your greeting to reflect your love for them

What need does your spouse have that you could meet today? Choose a gesture that says, "I cherish you" and do it with a smile.

Begin praying today for your spouse's heart. Pray for three specific areas where you desire for God to work in your spouse's life and in your marriage. (The biggest thing I wanted to happen this year was for Joe to find joy in his life. I realized how can that happen if I'm not contributing to that? What if I am one of the reasons why he can't find that joy)?

Prepare a special dinner at home, just for the two of you. The dinner can be as nice as you prefer. Focus this time on getting to know your spouse better, perhaps in areas you've rarely talked about. Determine to make it an enjoyable evening for you and your mate.

I decided to try some of these things - these love dares. It's only been three days, but I feel and am aware of a change in my attitude towards Joe. I've made sure that there has been a more visual display of affection between the two of us and in turn, I've felt more genuine love for him. He's also been more loving and helpful - he's done the dishes for me a couple of times, he's folded and put away some clothes, etc. I'm excited in our changes - particularly mine. Home can truly be a heaven on earth.

It's Almost Like Manna From Georgia!

2012-01-09T22:12:00.000-07:00

Look what we found in one of our local Wal-Mart store tonight!

Gonna Grovel and Beg

2012-01-08T22:42:00.000-07:00

Back in September I signed up for a photography class I'd really wanted to take for a couple of years. I finally decided it was time for me to do something for myself. I got registered, someone volunteered to stay with Joe and so I went, camera in hand, to my first class. It was such a strange situation for me all in all.

When class was over, I stepped outside into the darkness, got into my car and just sat there and started to cry. I was overwhelmed by it all. I couldn't remember the last time I'd been outside that late by myself - without Joe.

I did manage to make it the the 2nd of six classes the following week, but that was my last. I felt a considerable amount of guilt about someone else coming over to be with Joe while I was out. I just knew this man had something he'd rather be doing that "Joesitting". So, I quit my class so no one would have to do it anymore.

I find that happening to me quite alot. And, even now I find that if I need to run an errand, I will wait until Joe is napping and then hurry quickly to complete the task so I can return home as soon as possible.

I've found that many times it does no good to make any firm plans. I have made appointments or bought tickets to attend an event and then boom! A sudden turn in Joe's health can bring everything to a halt. I remember that I'd look forward to the PBR (Professional Bull riders) to come to Casper. I'd purchased our tickets near the bottom so Joe could see much better. However, he had to use the bathroom a couple of times and I had to walk him up to the facility. When the third time came, I was so frustrated, we just went home. I was missing so much of it anyway. I know these things don't happen because Joe wishes or wants them to, but it seems as though sometimes my whole life is in flux because of his condition. I am getting used to it, in a way. Whenever I try to schedule anything, I tell people that it all depends upon how Joe is feeling at that time. I don't even try to schedule dinner appointments for the missionaries because our lives are so unpredictable.

Things are changing for the better though. I used to have so much unpredictability even when it came to my being able to work a full 8 hours. Now that he is enrolled at the adult daycare, that has taken alot of that stress off of me. I'm feeling much better and more productive for myself. And, I feel that between dialysis, the Senior Center and now the daycare, Joe is having more opportunities for social interaction himself.

All I know is this...expecting surprises is part of my daily life. No one can accuse me of having a boring life. Another photography class is starting soon. I think I'm going to see if I can get back into the class and try it all over again. If so, maybe I'll make all the classes this time?

Cooking Some Wild

2012-01-08T21:05:00.003-07:00

Our neighbor, Mark, who lives across the street, gave us a Christmas present this year of an elk roast. He'd heard me say that I had really enjoyed some elk ribs I've had in Jackson, Wyoming one time. So, when I gave him his baked goodies Christmas present, he ran into his house and brought out the roast.

I decided I would cook it for our dinner today. I'd never cooked elk before. Didn't even know where to begin except to hop onto the internet and see what I could find out. I wanted to see if it would be possible to cook it in a crock pot so that it would be cooking away while we were at church. Yep, there were lots of recipes for that. But, most of them suggested marinading it overnight. Now to pick a marinade that I had all the fixin's for.

So, I blended some soy sauce, some Worcestershire sauce, and a packet of mesquite grilling powder. Then I stabbed the meat a few times with a knife on both side, smeared the thick liquid concoction all over it, placed it in the refrigerator and went to bed.

This morning I put it into one of my crock pots, added some water (for extra gravy according to the internet) and turned it up on high and started the cooking. All went well, it was so tender you could cut or flake it with your fork. The flavor was just right and the gravy tasted really good over my homemade mashed potatoes. Not bad for a girl from South Georgia who'd never cooked elk before.

I think I may have to take Mark some more baked goodies!

Joe's New Toys

2012-01-08T21:03:00.002-07:00

Joe is now part of the digital talking books program that is sponsored by the government. He recieved, free of charge, the cassette player shown above that talks and gives directions. If you stick a headphone in the side, then of course, you can't hear it. A special tape slips into the front of the cassette and the entire book is self-contained on that one cassette. No more turning a series of cassettes over to side 1 or 2 or A or B. It doesn't matter if the tape is 17 hours long - it's one tape. The only time you take it out is when you have reached "The End".

Each cassette arrives in it's own little blue plastic box. When the tape has been heard, the mailing card is turned over on the front and mailed - no postage due! There is a catalog of hundreds of such tapes and you just place your order of what you want and it's mailed to Joe. 20 tapes at a time, if you wish. This is such a godsend and so much better than the tape player I had purchased for him that he has always had problems operating and flipping tapes over. Technology is a wonderful thing!!!

The Best Is Yet To Be

2012-01-08T20:48:00.003-07:00

I wanted to share something I read today. It's from an article written by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland entitled, "The Best Is Yet To Be". I will be taking excepts from this that really made an impact on me.

The start of a new year is the traditional time to take stock of our lives and see where we are going, measured against the backdrop of where we have been. I don’t want to talk about New Year’s resolutions, but I do want to talk about the past and the future, with an eye toward any time of transition and change in our lives—and those moments come virtually every day.

As a new year begins and we try to benefit from a proper view of what has gone before, I plead with you not to dwell on days now gone nor to yearn vainly for yesterdays, however good those yesterdays may have been. The past is to be learned from but not lived in. We look back to claim the embers from glowing experiences but not the ashes. And when we have learned what we need to learn and have brought with us the best that we have experienced, then we look ahead and remember that faith is always pointed toward the future. Faith always has to do with blessings and truths and events that will yet be efficacious in our lives.

To yearn to go back to a world that cannot be lived in now, to be perennially dissatisfied with present circumstances and have only dismal views of the future, and to miss the here and now and tomorrow because we are so trapped in the there and then and yesterday are some of the sins of Lot’s wife.
The poet Robert Browning wrote:

Grow old along with me!
The best is yet to be,
The last of life, for which the first was made:
Our times are in his hand
Who saith, “A whole I planned,
Youth shows but half; trust God: see all, nor be afraid!” 2

Some of you may wonder: Is there any future for me? What does a new year or a new job hold for me? Will I be safe? Will life be sound? Can I trust in the Lord and in the future? Or would it be better to look back, to go back, to stay in the past?

Keep your eyes on your dreams, however distant and far away. Live to see the miracles of repentance and forgiveness, of trust and divine love that will transform your life today, tomorrow, and forever. That is a New Year’s resolution I ask you to keep.

Paul taught, “This one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.”

Live to see the miracles of repentance and forgiveness, of trust and divine love that will transform your life today, tomorrow, and forever.

Someone Really Does Understand

2012-01-08T19:46:00.002-07:00

Near the end of last year, one of the staff members at the Senior Center gave me a couple of books to read. She felt that they might help me cope with everything going on with Joe. I laid the books on the ottoman in front of the couch and that's where they laid for many, many days. One day I finally got around to opening up one of them and read the page for that date and started bawling like a baby. I read...

"I hesitate to go to a regular gathering for prayer or worship even though the music and messages soothe my soul. It's comforting to be there, but I can't stay. In this safe and tender place, tremendous sadness, too long restrained, breaks loose. I can't hold back the tears. I slip out to my car and can barely see through the wetness to get home.

It's too much for me to stay and try to explain to everyone how tired I am, how much it hurts, how out of control everything seems. But I know it's good for me to go there from time to time. Even when I can't stay, I am cradled for a while by the sacred sounds and sights and silences. I feel the understanding, the hope, the eternal caring. The tears find release there and the grief pours out."

Some really does understand what I experience on a regular basis. Thank you. Many times I have been forced to not attend church because of how Joe was feeling and I was afraid to leave him at home along. Many times we have gone together but been unable to stay for very long because of some emergency which has happened. There have been times when he has had to be assisted by others to walk to the restroom or back out to the car.

On those occasions that I have left him at home tucked securely into bed, I have hurried to the chapel to either sit through Sacrament Meeting or to attend Relief Society. During those times, as I entered the chapel I have felt overwhelmed by a sense of peace and comfort. I knew that I was in a place where I could sit on the back pew or row and just let my tears flow. I knew that I was in a place where my brothers and sisters in the gospel loved me and comforted me. It was like coming home to a family reunion and feeling immeasurable love. I, too, have gone and sat in my car and cried because my heart felt so full and I felt some release from my daily life just listening to the music and sitting in the chapel.

P.S. to It's 2012

2012-01-08T11:37:00.008-07:00

I want things to improve so well this year that conversations with friends and family will not start off...

"How's Joe doing"? I want things to be so improved in both our lives that people will say, "Well, what have you been up to Carol"?

(Note: It's coincidental that I wrote that earlier. I was reading a daily excerpt from "Daily Comforts for Caregivers" when I read this..."People are always asking me how my loved one is doing. I'm glad they care enough to ask. I wish sometimes they would ask about me as well. I could use a show of concern.

It seems odd that I'm feeling a little jealous over the attention being given to the person I care for. I wouldn't want to loved one's shoes. Yet, although my problems might seem small by comparison, I'm having a difficult time, too. The problems my loved one experiences are more apparent than mine".

I can honestly say that there have been very few people who have really looked me in the eye and asked me how I am doing and whom I have felt have really meant it. Don't get me wrong, people are concerned and I am grateful that they do ask about Joe and then me as an afterthought. However, I am beginning to believe that unless you have truly lived and experienced having to care for someone virtually 24/7, you will never be able to understand. I never really understood before Joe's problems. I never really understood what my dad was/is going through with my mom. I admit that I had even judged my own father harshly at times for things he said or did to my mom. Now we talk to each other on a regular basis, share common problems and try to solve problems that may come up. One thing I have over him is that I am so lucky to have a friend who has already gone through this before and she is there as a mentor, a sounding board and someone to give me hugs and "comfort and joy" cookies on really bad days).

It's 2012

2012-01-07T13:15:00.012-07:00

I can't believe it's already seven days into the new year. So much for starting those new plans and resolutions at the beginning of the year. I'll just justify that by saying I'm doing more contemplating and pondering on how to implement the ones I want to keep and how to rationalize getting rid of the ones that I'm probably going to wimp out on anyway.

A new year is supposed to be a sign of promise, of hope. I know that hope won't come from focusing on the uncertain nature of either Joe's or my daily situations. The truth is, that it is possible to find hope if I trust in the generosity of life - my Heavenly Father, my family, my friends. Not that I can expect any particular outcome just because I want it. But I can expect to find help and understanding in every situation I face, now matter how difficult the circumstances may seem, IF I am aware of and ask for that help and understanding. My dad tells me all the time to "stop denying others their blessings from service. I don't have to do everything myself".

At the beginning of the new year I've always tried to determine what my "word of the year" will be. Let's just take stock of previous years before announcing this year's new word, huh?

2009 - Adjustment - To see what my impending adjustments were anticipated to be, you can go to the article and read about it and see how it all turned out - http://jocarweaver.blogspot.com/2010/01/my-word-for-this-year-is.html.

2010 - Patience - http://jocarweaver.blogspot.com/2011/01/word-of-year-2011.html. Hmm, still need to work on that one.

2011 - Joy - How'd that work out for me? By and large not too good at all! Thank goodness 2011 is over and done with. Now it's time to move on to my new word for 2012...(drum roll)

And the word is CHANGE! (Please no alluding to President Obama's campaign slogans)! The definition of change in my situation is...

1. The act, process, or result of altering or modifying (I want at least one hour of quiet time alone in the morning. I can spend that time reading and/or doing some exercise without having to attend to Joe. I want to read a book, a magazine, anything! I want to be able to have Joe tucked into bed by 10:00 each night so that I can finish up my day with at least one hour of quiet time to reflect on the day by blogging or reading).: a change in facial expression. (I want to smile more and really mean it).

2. The replacing of one thing for another (changing up routines at home, i.e., spending so much time with Joe and not spending alone time for me at the computer. I want to get back to blogging on a regular basis. I want to get my book project completed by Christmas this year.; substitution: a change of atmosphere (a new job with benefits that will work with me when Joe has medical commitments).

3. A transformation or transition from one state, condition, or phase to another (I want to continue to stay one step ahead of Joe's needs so that I don't continue to feel like his mother or his maid. I want to find and experience more love for him).

4. Something different; variety. ( I want to be able to attend a class or go to a meeting or have lunch with a friend without feeling guilty).

So, let's get back together again at the beginning of 2013 and see if I was fortunate enough to have accomplished what I wanted to this year.

The Heber Creeper Train

2011-12-31T22:41:00.039-07:00

The day after Christmas, the kids, Derek and Joe and I went on a train ride. We drove to Heber City and boarded the "Heber Creeper" so named because it creeps along the countryside.

2011 Recap of the Year That Was - Crappy, Stressed, Emotional, etc. etc., etc.

2011-12-31T22:41:00.024-07:00

equals =

JaNUaRy started out as a year with high hopes and expectations. Life was good considering we had gone through about six weeks with no medical problems, I had a great job which was paying very well and there was the promise of 12 brand new months and a clean slate.

Two weeks into the new year and month we had medical emergency no. 1. I had tried calling Joe for approximately 45 minutes and couldn't reach him. At first, I thought he might have stepped outside to feed the dogs. Then I thought maybe he's stepped outside to check the mail. Then it was that he must be in the bathroom and can't get to the phone. I knew he shouldn't and really couldn't go anywhere since it was very, very cold and snowy and he should be home. Finally, I called the Sheriff's Department, told them where to find a house key and they sent a deputy over to do a "well check". When the Deputy found Joe, he was unconscious on the kitchen floor and was rushed to the hospital. Apparently his blood sugar had dropped too low and he was going into a diabetic coma. Luckily he survived with no apparently problems and got to go home. http://jocarweaver.blogspot.com/2011/04/yes-its-true.html.

January 20th brought the end of my job out in the oilfield. 27 people, including myself, were laid off due to "budgetary problems". I immediately filed for unemployment benefits and began searching for a new job. The rest of the month was having lunch with friends, job interviews and taking Joe to doctor appointments. We were also able to make our first trip of the year to Utah for a belated Christmas celebration with the kids. http://jocarweaver.blogspot.com/2011/04/january-2011-trip-to-kids.html and also share in the celebration of Travis and Lindsea's wedding in Utah. FB said: "What a great day it was! Loved spending time with my sweet hubby, lunch with friends, Skyped Travis and Lindsea's wedding reception in Georgia, phone calls from caring friends checking on us and a quiet evening at home and clean sheets on the bed. Ahhhh."

fEBrUAry - More job searching in the coldest of winter weather!, Joe had a fistula gram operation http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hemodialysis, I started working part-time for an insurance agency where I was free to job search and take Joe to doctor appointments. We made our first trip to Utah to share in Derek's third birthday http://jocarweaver.blogspot.com/2011/04/dereks-3rd-birthday-party.html. More doctor appointments and dialysis. 2/1/11 FB said: "I can't believe that I went job hunting in -30+ degree weather today. It was butt cold and face cold and hands cold, etc.! I think I'll put it off going out again tomorrow and just search from home. Bright spot of the day was having Derek visit with Grandma Carol on the "compooter" this afternoon. 2/19/11 FB - What a great day! Spent time w/my sweetie, spent time w/ a good friend, phone conversations w/family, went grocery shopping all by myself, went to a lecture about the Buffalo Soldiers at the Interpretive Center, ate me some Chinese food all amongst snowflakes throughout the day. Ahh, life is so good. 2/25/11 FB - My fortune cookie today said "Sometimes the object of the journey is not the end, but the journey itself". I find that to be true. Live each day as though it is your own personal journey or adventure because we can't obsess about the future. That's why my heart aches 4 Joe because he doesn't seem to think life will get betr bcause of so much negativity from people @ dialysis. I want a permanent smile back on his face. 2/26/11 FB - No trip to Denver this weekend after all. Joe's kidney evaluation appointment was rescheduled to the following Monday due to a technical error with his insurance company. I was already salivating at the thought of eating at Sweet Tomatoes and bringing me back some Church's and Popeye's chicken.

MARcH - Resumes, interviews, doctor appointments, part-time work and then a trip to Denver. The purpose of the Denver trip was a kidney transplant evaluation for Joe. It was a wonderful diversion for us. A trip to a big city - eating out in some old favorite restaurants, spending the night in a motel and just getting away from all the regularness of our lives. The outcome of the trip was continued monitoring of Joe's kidneys and fluids around his heart and lungs. Been sitting here in the hospital waiting room for a couple of hrs. Joe was having surgery to have his dialysis port work better so it was nothing big, this time. 3/14/11 FB: Sitting in Denver @ the hospital waiting on the next dr. to come in for Joe's transplant evaluation. What a great place with wonderful people. The weather is beautiful here 2day. What a rush driving in the "going to work" traffic this morning!!! After some add'l tests done for Joe in Casper, results will be sent back to Denver so panel can decide if Joe is to be put on transplant list. Hopefully will know something in the next two weeks. It's all according to the doctors and Heavenly Father now. The staff was incredibly wonderful to us and wow, what a hospital!

The following weekend we went down to Cheyenne for an appointment with an eye specialist to see if anything could be done to improve Joe's eyesight. That was a fun trip which ended with us almost being snowed in because of a blizzard. Power was even cut at the motel and Joe and I had to huddle together in our bed until the power was restored. 3/18/11 FB: We're home...again. This time from Cheyenne. What a trip!. Got to the hotel last night and started having a mini blizzard. Went to eat and when we got back we couldn't find our hotel. The electricity had gone out to all the hotels in that area so it was total darkness. Great when temperature drops and you've no heat in your room for 2 hrs. eye specialist says most likely nothing can be done for Joe's eyes which is sad. However, he's being referred to one other specialist that may be able to do one other procedure in one eye so we'll have to wait and see what happens. 3/28/11 FB: Busy week upon us - dialysis, work @ temporary job, full-time job interview, dialysis, temporary job, "aggressive dialysis", temporary job, echo cardiogram, eye specialist (Joe losing more eyesight and the "aggressive" and extra dialysis and echo cardiogram are at the request of the Colorado transplant team). 3/31/11 FB: Joe went for his 3rd "aggressive" dialysis in a row today and then for his echo cardiogram, so he's kinda wiped out. The results are being sent to Denver to the transplant team and hopefully this will be his last test and the results are good so he can be put on the kidney transplant list. (Note: Eventually Joe was denied being placed on the transplant list because of fluid around heart and lungs and too many other health complications).

APRil - The greatest thing that happened in April was that Joe FINALLY got out of the house! He started working as a volunteer at the local Senior Citizen's Center http://jocarweaver.blogspot.com/2011/04/back-in-saddle-again.html. I was so happy for him! And then there were more doctor appointments, job interviews and a sleep study for Joe. 4/1/11 FB: A blessed day. Joe went to eye specialist and had surgery done on his right eye with expectation that it will help him see better. No hope for left eye though. 4/23/11 FB:   Not a good day in dialysis for Joe. I think they drained him of everything. Poor guy had to be helped into car and house so he wouldn't fall over, not hungry, nauseous, headache and I've tucked him into bed. Called the center to see if anything unusual took place - they said no. 4/27/11 FB: Joe is back in the hospital tomorrow - out patient for ANOTHER surgery on his arm where they are trying to do his dialysis. Hopefully third time will be the charm. All went wonderfully well with Joe today...Joe did not have to have surgery on his arm (fistula). After numbing the area and shooting in some dye, apparently it did a self heal on itself. See prayers really do get answered! :)

MAY - We weren't able to make it back to Georgia this year for the family reunion. With all of Joe's medical problems, I didn't feel it would be a wise decision and having lost a job had put a strain on our finances. We did make our 3rd trip to Utah during the month and were thrilled to attend a performance of "Riverdance" in Casper. A sad moment of the month though was the death of a dear friend who had been on my visiting teaching list since we'd moved to Casper. Her death was unexpected and heart-breaking for me. 5/14/11 FB: What can I say about today? It was a sad day. It began with cold, sad weather and then receiving a call that saddened my heart. Found out that a friend of mine is now in hospice and not expected to live much longer. I was told, while conscious, that she asked for me and when I got the message and went to see her, she is no longer conscious. How do you tell a friend goodbye and that you want her to know that you loved her when she is already slipping away? How do you tell her that you will miss her smile, her laugh and her infectious personality? What an honor to know that she counted me among someone that she cared about. Lesson learned here...tell your friends, your family you love them whenever possible. We never know when that opportunity may no longer be an option.

JunE - June had us dust the snow off the car and head out for our first daycation of the year. Joe also had to start bi-weekly physical therapy because of increased severe problems with balance and therapy. All year long he'd been experiencing increased eye problems, memory and balance coordination. His condition was described as "Parkinsonian like symptoms". June also found me finally finding a full-time job working at a local RV dealership. And, the kids came over from Utah for a great weekend visit with us!

jULy - We had company - Ally and Ryan came and spent July 4th weekend with us. The month was spent doing daycations in Nebraska and in Wyoming. We had the usual doctor and therapy visits and celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary and my 59th birthday. 7/25/11 FB: Hello hospital. It's been almost 7 months since we last visited. Poor Joe got whipped at dialysis today. Could hardly get him into the house but 45 mins later I did. Then things didn't improve so I called a friend to help me get him back into the car many minutes later. Dr. advised bringing him here to get more fluids. So here we sit, while one sits and one lies on that little skinny bed with an iv drip. We should go home, let me rephrase that we better go home tonight. Not starting this stuff again!!!

Got some 80 birthday wishes on Facebook alone today, plus phone calls and a surprise birthday party at the office.

aUGUst - More fun daycations, including going into Montana, but not a so great one when Joe had to be transported to the ER in Laramie because he kept passing out. 8/13/11 FB: We're home after our daycation to the mountains. Unfortunately we had to make a detour to an ER. In short, while some 40 miles away from a hospital, Joe got sick and we hightailed it out of the mountains. Had to call 911, deputy and ambulance met us outside of Laramie to get Joe and headed for ER. After a short stay, we got to leave - YAY! He had extremely high blood sugar and blood pressure as well as fell down and almost had seizure - don't know why, but he's much better now and we are home. Thankful toand we are home. Thankful to be here and grateful that all things fell into place to get him medical attention. Prayers are answered! 8/18/11 FB:It's official...Joe has a cracked rib from a fall over the weekend. Unfortunately nothing can be done other than rest, meds and ace bandage. There will be no daycation this weekend for us.    8/28/11 FB: Update on Joe...his rib is doing better. Blood sugar still extremely high. Dialysis didn't go well two days last week, but he did sleep through the night for the first time in a long time last night.

My Aunt Erma died. She was the wife of my Uncle Dave and was such a gentle, quiet lady whom I was always exited to see when they came to visit. She will be missed.

SeptEMBer - I quit my job with the dealership. I felt under so much pressure in my new job and medically Joe was declining again. He was having problems walking, seeing, lots of cognitive problems, having lots of falls and it was like I was caring for a large two year old. Joe had an appointment with a neurosurgeon who pronounced that Joe had been having a series of strokes and was most likely afflicted with vascular dementia. 9/3/11 FB: Well we're off on an extended daycation to North and South Dakota in just a bit where it's now 46 degrees where we'll be spending the night. Here's hoping for a fun and medically uneventful time with my sweetie. 9/4/11 FB: We're home - 860 miles later. Arrived to find dogs had gotten out of the yard and were returned by some nice person. Can mark visiting North Dakota off my list and don't plan on visiting again. Lunch in Rapid City, South Dakota before going to hang out with George, Thomas, Franklin and Abe at Mt. Rushmore. What a great trip, but so glad to be home. 9/6/11 FB: things are changing for Joe :(. He got lost last night in the bedroom and couldn't find the bed even with the light on. I had to help him get there and crawl in. Then this morning, he forgot how to put on his shoes. Went to dr. for some tests today. 9/15/11 FB: Weaver update...I've quit my job after 90 days. Too stressful for me most every day. Will work until time to fly to Georgia. Joe will be seeing a neurologist soon to hopefully determine cause(s) for memory loss problems he's been having. Taking each day one at a time cuz I sure can't think too much beyond that. So looking forward to spending time away from all this when we spend some time down south in about 20 days! 9/22/11 FB: Joe's appointment with the eye doctor went wonderfully. His eyesight doesn't appear to have changed. Apparently his dialysis is just messing with his eyes from time to time. Doesn't mean it won't get worse. But he is still very, very unsteady and that's the reason for the balance therapy. 9/28/11 FB: My morning has started out with hearing Joe call my name. Got up and found him in the bathtub. Apparently he was drying off outside the tub, lost his balance and fell back into the tub. I finally got him out of the tub, but couldn't manage to maneuver him off the floor and he was too weak. So, I had to call 911 and ask them to please send help with no lights or sirens and six burly dudes showed up and got his little nekkid body off the floor. 9/29/11 FB: So today...Joe thinks the bus forgot to pick him up @ the house. He goes and climbs in the bed, the bus shows up - no Joe. Door's open, house key on ground and walking stick halfway in and out. Driver knocks and yells - no Joe. She calls supervisor who comes and knocks and yells - no Joe. 20 mins. later they call police who find Joe just waking up. I get call from neighbor later that police have been at my home, I call house - no Joe answers, call where he was supposed to have been - no Joe. I leave work, hurry home and find him asleep again after everyone has left.

OCToBER - We finally made it home to Georgia the first week in October!!! Joe had to be transported to the hospital in Tifton though when he had an apparent seizure. He was also scheduled for a lumbar puncture (spinal tap) because it was determined that he had water on the brain. I was back working at the insurance agency - with no benefits though. 10/23/11 FB: Well the kids just left and took Blaze with them too. After 4 yrs. of caring for the granddog, it's unbelievably hard to see her ride away in the truck. What a wonderful weekend spent with kids. One of the best visits in quite awhile. It still hurts my mama heart when I see my son and his family leave. :( 10/18/11 FB: Today was the day Joe went to the neurologist. In a nutshell...Joe does not have Alzheimer's; he has had several strokes and seizures and will be having a lumbar puncture (spinal tap) next week to drain fluid from his brain which may have been causing some of his mental/memory/balance problems. A shunt may have to be implanted if fluid returns. He may al...so have vascular dementia, but we won't know for sure until possibly after the procedure next week. Prayers and positive thoughts are welcome. It is such a relief to know that someone has finally validated what I've been seeing and what Joe and I have been living with - especially in the last three months. 10/29/11 FB: Update on Joe. Went to pick him up from dialysis yesterday and we left an hour later. Just before he was supposed to leave, his blood pressure dropped dramatically, his fingernails and lips turned blue and skin was very cold. He was put on oxygen which helped and he was able to leave after dr. made arrangements for oxygen over the weekend at home. He's going in for a chest x-ray first thing Monday morning to see if that might help explain what happened.

NOVEMBER - Joe wound up in the ER and then in ICU with hydrocephalus for a week. He had totally lost touch with reality and kept falling. I was asked to bring his living will to the hospital and DNR was being discussed because the situation with Joe was very dire this time. 11/3/11 FB: At hospital w/joe. i woke up hearing him keeping calling"dad, dad,dad". I went 2 check on him thinking he was dreaming, found him on floor totally scrambled. blood sugars ok, eyes glazed, slurred words and no oxygen in nose. wound up calling EMT's who said blood pressure very high which is total opposite of his normal. Joe is now in ICU with drs. trying to find out what is going on. He may have hypertensive encephalopathy which I understand it is that high blood pressure is causing swelling on the brain. It was a strange day yesterday with two falls last night and then this trip to the hospital. He has no idea where he is and speaks with some foreign gibberish when he does speak.

FB Update on Joe...He has had an echo cardiogram done, a ventilation-perfusion scan (VQ) which is to look for evidence of a blood clot in the lungs. Waiting on those results. Will have a lumbar puncture (spinal tap) sometime today to relieve the brain of fluid. They are also inserting a PICC line which is a long, slender, small, flexible tube that is inserted into a vein in the upper arm and insert.

11/4/11 FB: Joe got moved out of ICU. Shortly afterwards his blood pressure started going up again and they've just taken him in for a dialysis session hoping that it brings it down.  Joe is doing much better today and may even be moved out of ICU. (Later) Still hooked up to blood pressure meds and won't have dialysis today as it would throw his bp out of whack. Dr. said Joe does have enlarged vessels in his brain which is causing the swelling and hopefully spinal tap will help/take care of problem when it's done soon. He has absolutely no memory of what has happened to him in the last couple of days which is probably very good.

ll/7/11 FB: Better day today. Joe was taken to dialysis in the hospital very early this morning for 4 hours and was doing fine until he became nauseated in the afternoon. He's much better now and speaking and thinking much more clearly. They've removed the catheter much to his delight and started him on his "delicious pineapple flavored" gallon of prep for his colonoscopy for sometime tomorrow to determine cause of bleeding that started a couple of days ago. He just can't seem to get a break. But, I am encouraged with his mental and cognitive progress. I truly believe in the power of the priesthood and in the power of prayer from our many friends and family members.

11/8/11 FB: Daily Joe update...had colonoscopy done today. They discovered polyps and are doing biopsy. He's doing so good today - conversation and humor! I told the nurse to take away his phone for tonight though as he called me every hour last night/early morning. :) Makes getting a good nights sleep a little hard. If all goes well, he may be coming home tomorrow afternoon after a session of dialysis.

11/10/11 FB: Joe's home and doing wonderfully and miraculously great. I truly do see and feel the power of the knowledge of the medical personnel who attended him, as well as the priesthood blessing he received, the many, many prayers and good thoughts sent by awesome people known and unknown and most especially for the blessings and love of my Heavenly Father.

Joe became enrolled in an adult daycare setting because he cannot be left alone. Thanksgiving was a very low key day spent at home together with our own turkey dinner. I was asked to come back to work at the RV dealership on a part-time basis until the first of the year. I went since the pay was so much better, the pace of work had slowed down and I felt I could handle it better this time. I stayed until the last week of December when they let me go again. We had more company from back east - Travis and Lindsea came and spent the night with us. The visit was too short!

decEMBer - The month started out with a company Christmas dinner at a nice restaurant. Great prime rib and it turned into a really snowy, snowy evening! Joe was fitted with a tracking bracelet by the Emergency Management Office in case he would wander off anytime. It'll go well with his Lifeline necklace in case he needs medical assistance and I wasn't around.

Joe's behavior and mood had begun to change drastically. He became very moody and disoriented and in his confused stupor, he told the dialysis social worker a number of things he shouldn't have. One night we had an unexpected visit by two police officers to check on our welfare and then a visit from the state Department of Family Services social worker the next week. I discovered the reason for his dramatic change - his anti-depression medical had been discontinued during his hospital stay and upon his return home - cold turkey and it shouldn't have been. Once he was back on those meds, things returned to a better place.

Trina's mom died...12/16/11 FB: In fond memory of my Wyoming mom, Mother Mary, who passed away yesterday. She was one beautiful and loving person. One of my greatest blessings when I moved to Wyoming was working with and getting to know Trina and then having the opportunity to meet and know her mother. Mother Mary's hugs and kisses were the best and she loved and accepted me as one of her other kids. I will miss her deeply. A week later 12/23/11 another friend - Jim Munger died. Jim had briefly been my supervisor in the oilfield until he'd become ill a month before Joe's heart attack. I spent time with his wife while he was in the hospital and she spent time with me when Joe was in the hospital. This went back and forth until they moved last October.

We ended our year with a trip to Utah to spend Christmas with the kids. Thank goodness the trip was totally uneventful!

Travis and Lindsea Came For A Visit

2011-12-31T22:40:00.012-07:00

Christmas 2011

2011-12-31T22:40:00.010-07:00

Making Decisions

2011-12-31T22:39:00.040-07:00

The first week in November Joe was admitted to the hospital again for ultimately finding out he had fluid on his brain. After everything he's gone through in the last year and a half it seemed as though he's just about exhausted every medical problem from the top of his fuzzy head to the bottom of his eight remaining toes. But, it seemed there were more things to go wrong with him.

This medical emergency was so much more different that anything I'd experienced with him before. There was more of an urgency - a crisis - an impending disaster that was spiraling quickly out of control. The ER doctor and staff must have felt the same as Joe was only in the emergency room for a very few minutes before being rushed to the intensive care unit.

I knew this was so much more different and critical than other hospital stays just by the way the doctors and nurses acted and the rapid settling into the ICU. And then it began.

I was asked if we had a Living Will on file with the hospital? Not on file, but we have one. Yes, I will go home immediately and get a copy and be right back. Then it was explaining the Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) policy. Did I understand that it might come to this point? Yes, No, I didn't. I didn't want to discuss this right now. "Mrs. Weaver you need to be prepared". Sign this consent for ______. Do you give us permission to ______?

This is one of the times that Joe was hallucinating and kept picking at his gown. Joe was not even aware that I was in his room when this picture was taken.

Then after the worse was over, it was doctors talking to me about possible extensive rehabilitation in a facility for several weeks. Then it was another doctor talking to me about the possible putting Joe in a nursing home. All this was more than I felt I could handle. No more talking to people - no doctors, no family, no friends, NO ONE! I just wanted to be left alone and process what my mind could and would understand. I made one call. I called Marla - my dear friend who had gone through a similar situation a little over a year ago. She had everyones phone numbers of who I would call if I could. I gave her the facts - nothing more - and she made the calls to family and friends and for someone to come give us priesthood blessings. In the end, Joe got to come home virtually a new man. Between the spinal tap and the blessings from my Heavenly Father, Joe has been able to function a great deal on his own. He still has cognitive problems. He doesn't understand things dealing with time. He still has balance problems. He still has orientation problems. There are still so many things wrong that will never be right, but he's home.

Joe kept pulling out his oxygen tube, trying to take out his I.V., and picking at anything else that was attached to him. Because he wouldn't quit, they eventually had to restrain his arms.

What people won't/don't understand is that with all the decisions I have to make, my own thinking gets stuck sometimes. Making financial arrangements, choosing the right kind of services, filling out and signing immeasurable amounts of paperwork, trying to second guess what Joe might do next, figuring out ways to make his life easier and more manageable, trying to find life insurance on someone that no one wants to cover - I get overwhelmed by all the pros and cons of the various options. Sometimes I can't decide what's best. And, I'm trying to do all this while attempting to maintain some semblance of normalcy by holding down a low-paying job with no benefits. I do the cooking, cleaning, the grocery shopping and making sure that Joe goes to all of his appointments and has everything he needs when he is gone from the house. Every morning it's making sure that he has bus tickets, his medications, his lunch for after dialysis, his drink and snack for during dialysis, making sure that his pants, his belt, his shirt, underwear and socks are laid out and ready for him to put on the next morning. Some may argue that lots of people do that everyday. Yes, that's true and I know that I don't have it as bad as some others may. But, some may need to understand that this is my husband - I am not an old person nor am I a young one either. This is supposed to be the wonderful years of our lives and our marriage. Even Joe now recognizes that he is no longer like a husband, but rather like my child and that hurts - both of us.

What I've noticed is that the harder I push myself to decide, the more confused I sometimes get. If I'm not getting the results I need, it makes sense to stop pushing for a while. It makes sense to tell others that I will get back to them as soon as possible. I can set aside my deliberation and no something else until my mind clears or I can just sit quietly. I can pray and ask my Heavenly Father for direction, for some type of insight as to what I should and need to do. Eventually I will get my quietness and get my answer, my solution.

I look forward to 2012 in the hopes that maybe the worse is behind us. And, if it's not, maybe I've got an adequate amount of past experience under my belt to help me make those decisions I may be faced with in a calmer and more peaceful, tranquil way with complete faith that my Heavenly Father knows what I can handle.

Georgia Trip

2011-12-31T22:39:00.039-07:00

Mt. Rushmore - 2011

2011-12-31T22:39:00.032-07:00

Joe seeing Mt. Rushmore for the first and probably only time. He was having problems with his eyes that day so actually seeing everything was difficult for him.

The Crazy Horse memorial that is still being carved.

While stopped at a railroad crossing, we spied this historical marker. Very interesting.

World Famous Sturgis

2011-12-31T22:39:00.031-07:00

Outside Sturgis, South Dakota

A buffalo "calling card".

The famous Buffalo Chip campground where thousands of bikers party while at Bike Week. I can guarantee I will never, ever be there during that time.

Well, we can say we've been to Sturgis (after Bike Week).

Hello North Dakota

2011-12-31T22:39:00.027-07:00

I'd never been to North Dakota. In fact, it was one of the last three states that I'd never stepped foot in. So, one weekend Joe and I decided to drive into North Dakota and spend the night just so we can say we've eaten and spent the night in that great state.

To prove that I'd made it to North Dakota, I wanted my picture taken. Since there was no one else around except Joe, I had no choice except him when it came to taking my picture. (People ask me all the time why aren't there more pictures of me? These pictures might explain why. All I wanted was a simple picture of me with the North Dakota sign in the background).

I never got my picture.

I'm about to lose my patience here after several attempts by Joe. I was about to start praying for some car to come along and maybe take my picture. No one came.

This is where we had reservations to spend the night. Population - 1,600+. Claim to fame - nothing.

Ahh, our home away from home...

This is where we had to eat our dinner. It used to be a Tastee Freeze and was the only restaurant that was open. We arrived there at almost 6:30 p.m. and found out they were closing at 7:00 p.m. Otherwise it would have been gas station/convenience food for us.

On the way home, all we seemed to see was miles and miles and miles of wheat fields.

This is a grave we saw way out in the middle of a field. Yes, I did try to drive there, but had to turn around when the car started sitting really low and I was afraid we'd get stuck.

A church out in the middle of nowhere.

It appears the church may not have been used for awhile.

Gotta have a restroom for the church.

I loved the entrance to this ranch.

Heading back into South Dakota...

Human artifacts have been found on or near Bear Butte that date back 10,000 years, indicating a long and continuous interest in the mountain.The Cheyenne and Lakota people have maintained a spiritual interest in Bear Butte from their earliest recorded history.
Notable visitors like Red Cloud, Crazy Horse, and Sitting Bull made pilgrimages to the site. In 1857, a council of many Indian nations gathered at Bear Butte to discuss the growing presence of white settlers in the Black Hills.
Violating a treaty of 1868, George Armstrong Custer led an expedition to the Black Hills region in 1874, and according to custom he camped near Bear Butte. Custer verified the rumors of gold in the Black Hills, and Bear Butte then served as an easily identifiable landmark for the rush of invading prospectors and settlers into the region. Indian reaction to the illegal movements of whites into the area was intense and hostile. Ultimately the government reneged on its treaty obligations regarding the Black Hills and instead embarked on a program to confine all northern Plains tribes to reservations.

This area, extending along Bear Butte Creek, was for centuries a select camp site for the Plains Indians, who found here mountain spring water, wood, protection from the bitter north winds, together with much game and wild fruit in season. Here, or nearly adjacent, was held the Grand Council of 1857 attended by many bands of Plains Indians. This council determined to resist white advance into their lands and most particularly the mountainous area, now known as the Black Hills.

Crazy Horse, an Oglalla, then a young man, was inspired by this plan of resistance and vowed to dedicate his life to this cause. While the participants did not strictly adhere to the principles then agreed upon, the hostility and discontent of the next two decades culminated in the Battle of the Little Big Horn in 1876.

Ft. Meade, adjacent hereto, first established as Camp Ruhlen in August 1878, was often obliged to house, feed and clothe Indian encampments here. For years Oglallas under Chief Lips claimed this as their abode but with the coming of settlers and the establishment of Reservation boundaries the site was abandoned. Today, mute testimony to the use and extent of this site by the Indians is to be seen in the numerous scars, made by sharpening tools, in the great rock walls to the north and on the huge floodplain boulders lying near the Creek.

9/3/2011 - Daycation Heading To North Dakota

2011-12-31T22:38:00.021-07:00

Midway between Newcastle and Four Corners http://www.ultimatewyoming.com/sectionpages/sec3/extras/cambriasaltmine.html

An old abandoned town seen alongside the highway...

We made it to South Dakota...

The town of Deadwood, South Dakota...

The discovery of gold in the Black Hills in 1874 set off one of the last great gold rushes in the country. In 1876, miners moved into the northern Black Hills. That’s where they came across a gulch full of dead trees and a creek full of gold…and Deadwood was born.

Practically overnight, the tiny gold camp boomed into a town that played by its own rules that attracted outlaws, gamblers and gunslingers along with the gold seekers. Wild Bill Hickok was one of those men who came looking for fortune. But just a few short weeks after arriving, he was gunned down while holding a poker hand of aces and eights – forever after known as the Dead Man’s Hand.

Calamity Jane also made a name for herself in these parts and is buried next to Hickok in Mount Moriah Cemetery. Other legends, like Potato Creek Johnny, Seth Bullock and Al Swearengen, created their legends and legacies in this tiny Black Hills town.

After some quick exploring, we had us a picnic lunch at one of the local downtown parks. We have got to go back and explore Deadwood a lot more. What a fascinating place.

Next it was on to Belle Fouche http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Belle_Fourche,_South_Dakota

Joe standing at the geographical center of the United States! In 1959, the U.S. Coast and Geodetic Survey officially designated a point 20 miles north of Belle Fourche as the geographic center of the United States. It is the center of the nation because the admission of Alaska and Hawaii to the United States moved the location of the official center of the nation.

Then it was onward and upward heading to North Dakota along some of the most monotonous and boring road I've ever been on!

Joe's Therapy and Birthday Celebration

2011-12-30T12:48:00.006-07:00

Joe's now been going to balance therapy for several months. I don't know exactly how it works, but it does. This is a series of pictures where Joe was outside with his therapist, Kraig, and they were walking in the parking lot practicing walking with his walking cane.

The cane helps Joe with his depth perception and he's trying to learn how to use it now while he has the eyesight he presently has.

This exercise is helping him to understand changes in ground depth and how to compensate for uneven terrain.

We frequent a Chinese restaurant here in Casper quite often and I took Joe there for his birthday this year. When I announced it was his birthday, this is what the staff came up for a birthday cake for Joe - Chinese style.

One of the girls placed this in the middle of his plate. It's a bunny rabbit made from an egg.

Time Flies When You're Having Fun?

2011-11-25T12:57:00.005-07:00

A-h-h. That's me taking a deep breath. It's the day after Thanksgiving, the house is cleaned, the laundry is done, B.J. the Dog even got a bath and Joe and the dog are now taking a nap. I'm basically all alone with no obligations or commitments today.This is a first in a very, very long time.

I realized today that it has been almost two months since I've done any blogging. Lots of things have happened and I've either had no time or ambition to blog. I've done lots of mental blogging and taken some pictures, but just haven't gotten them in print. So, here I am and going to try to get back on track which means doing a recap of what I've not written about.

October recap...

Joe began going downhill quite quickly medically. He was having tremendous memory problems such as not remembering how to put on his shoes, put his belt on correctly, he'd get lost in the bedroom coming back from the bathroom, he fell into the bathtub, his blood sugar and blood pressure was starting to elevate; he wasn't sleeping at night, but roaming around the house getting into the refrigerator, he was falling, and so many other strange things.
Was working for the RV dealership, but gave my two week notice and quite the first week in October. Things had gotten so stressful for me with Joe's medical problems and trying to learn a new job proved too much for me so I went back to work part-time at the insurance agency. Needless to say, I was earning less money, but the part-time job gave me the opportunity to recoup and regroup and figure out what to do with Joe while I was at work.

"Have The Police Called You"?

2011-09-29T23:05:00.002-06:00

It was an uneventful morning. Got Joe totally dressed after he'd made it through a morning shower with no unexpected slippage and falling today. The only mishap was when I was pulling his newly pulled on Depend a little too hard and started a horizontal tear across the backside. Ta dah! Another use for duct tape and he had wearable underwear for all day usage.

I left around 8:30 with my usual "stay out of trouble" and a quick prayer in the car. Around 10:30, I received a telephone call from Leonard Landlord asking me "Have the police called you"? And this is the reason why...

Joe's side of the story:

He was apparently sitting outside waiting for the CATC bus to take him to the Senior Citizen Center. According to him, the bus was running very late and never came and got him. And/or a bus arrived but it was a driver he'd never seen before and he wasn't going with her. And, since the bus never came, he decided to go back into the house, undress and climb back into bed.

CATC'S side of the story:

The driver arrived at our home at 9:35 a.m. The driver walked to the front door since Joe wasn't sitting outside where he usually is most of the time. She became quite alarmed when she neared the front door and found the housekey lying just outside the half-opened screen door where Joe's walking cane was half in and out of the door with the front door open. She knocked on the door calling his name repeatedly. (They are not allowed to enter customer homes). After doing this for about 5 minutes, she called her office and reported what she had observed and done. The office called our home number trying to reach Joe. (I heard that recording when I arrived home later in the morning). CATC sent one of their supervisors over to our house and for several minutes they tried to determine where Joe was. Leonard Landlord even came into the house at some point and called for Joe with no response.

The CATC supervisor finally called the police department for them to come do a "well check".

Police Officer's side of the story:

When they arrived at the house, one officer went to the backyard and spoke with Leonard, first to find out who he was, and then entered the home. (At some point someone even went and spoke with our neighbors to see if they knew about Joe). The other officer came into the front door wherein he finally found a dazed Joe walking into the living room in a pair of jean shorts. (Thank goodness he had at least put on some type of clothing). Joe couldn't understand what all the fuss was about. He just knew the bus hadn't come, he didn't feel it was absolutely essential that he go to the center and had gone back to bed. The police officers and everyone, except Leonard Landlord who continued working on the fence until...

My side of the story...

I was at work when Leonard Landlord called and asked "Have the police called you"?

Me: No, why? What's happened?

LL: Apparently Joe didn't catch the bus and they came looking for him. When he didn't answer, they called and the police came and went into the house and found him okay.

Me: Is he at the house now?

LL: No, I think the bus went on and took him to dialysis.

Me: Today's not his dialysis day. He was supposed to go to the Senior Citizen Center. I'll just give them a call. Thanks for the information LL.

I hang up the phone, search for the SCC number and call asking for Joe. They go looking for Joe and he's not anywhere to be found. I call the house. He doesn't answer the phone. I pick up my purse, clock out at work and say I'll be back as soon as I can find my husband.

I drive home where I find Joe tucked into bed like a sleeping angel. He wakes up. I question/grill him about what has happened. He gets mad at me for making a big fuss about nothing. I find items for his lunch (which he was supposed to have eaten at the Center), give some insulin and leave after I have let him live.

Then I went to CATC to find out all the real facts of the morning, then to the Center to alleviate their wonder of what happened to Joe and spoke to the police officer later when I return to the office.

911 - This is a non-emergency. No lights or sirens, please!

2011-09-28T23:37:00.001-06:00

My morning began with hearing Joe call me from somewhere outside the bedroom. I was having my best night's sleep in a long time. Carol. Carol. Carol.

There he was in the bathtub. According to him, he WAS outside the tub drying off when he lost his balance and fell backwards back into the bathtub. Did you know:

Each year, 350 people drown in their bathtubs. You are 151 times more likely to be killed by your bathtub than you are by a pit bull and/or;
Seven hundred ten persons drowned in bathtubs in 1979 and 1980 and/or;
Of the 24000 accidental deaths of people over the age of 65 every year, many take place in the bathroom from slipping and falling when entering and exiting the bathtub. Joe is now 66 years old.

I told him all that while he was lying nekkid in the bottom of the tub.

Seriously, he didn't appear to be hurt only totally unable to get out of the tub. After a great deal of struggling, we did manage to have him "slither" on the side of the tub, but then he was stuck on the bathroom rug and couldn't get up. I no longer was able to help so that's when I threw on a house dress and called 911. I told the dispatcher I needed help, but that it was a non-emergency and begged for no lights or sirens. They granted my wish. Six burly, hunky dudes showed up. There I was standing in my house dress and morning bed head hair going off in a million directions. But in a matter of moments nekkid man was standing tall and the burly dudes all disappeared.

I did call the dialysis office to let them know to be on the lookout for any strange behaviour, but all went well.

8/6/11 - 405 Miles

2011-08-28T18:35:00.008-06:00

Joe and I headed off on another daycation with the goal of making it to the Snowy Range Road in the Medicine Bow Mountain Range near the border of Wyoming and Colorado. We were taking Nephi, Hanna and Joanna Williams along with us for what was our last daycation together before they moved back to Utah. This road had only been open for about six weeks because of the excessive amounts of snow it received even during the spring. So, we expected to see lots and lots of snow. We saw snow, but not lots of it, but enough to make snowballs still during the month of August.

Nephi and Joanna enjoying the soft green grass before lunch.

The view by our picnic table.

Our day changed dramatically though when Joe got out of the car at the picnic area and passed out and fell on the ground. Then he almost did the same thing sitting on the picnic bench. I took his bllod sugar and the readings were incredibly too high. After giving him some insulin and eating our lunch, the same thing almost happened again. It was then that I decided that it was time to get to a hospital - some 40+ miles away in Laramie.

I put the hazard lights on and off we went. As soon as I had phone service, I called 911 and they sent a deputy and an ambulance our way where they eventually met us. Joe was then transported to the hospital where they kept him for a little while after doing blood tests and putting fluid into him. Fortunately, he didn't stay long and they had no reason for the passing out and the high blood sugar. But after getting something to eat, we all headed back home.

I love this picture! The moon was so gigantic that night.

Comfort and Joy

2011-08-28T17:58:00.000-06:00

My very, very wonderful friend, Marla is so good to me. Not only is she a friend who listens and understands what I'm gone through in the last few months, but she also supplies me with a really good big cookie on days when she knows it's been extremely stressful.

Hoodoos and Other Fascinating Rocks

2011-08-21T20:51:00.003-06:00

We were driving down the road when suddenly off on our left was this strange formation
of rocks that look similar to pictures I've seen of the South Dakota badlands.
This picture does not the depth of this.

Joe overlooking the formations which also contain hoodoos.

This picture shows what hoodoos are...In the middle of the picture is a pile of rocks that
almost look like a mushroom. Hoodoos are those rocks on top of a column that protects
it from wind and water erosion. They may eventually fall off.

This interpretive sign was at the location. Hard to believe that some of these rocks came all the way
from Idaho or Utah.

This was either someone's old abandoned home or an old schoolhouse.

Interesting Stops Coming Home From Cody

2011-08-20T21:46:00.006-06:00

Then we made it to Meeteesee, Wyoming. Meeteetse is an old western town located just 32 miles south of Cody. Founded in the 1890's, the word Meeteetse is an old Shoshone Indian word for "meeting place." The town retains much of its original character with wooden boardwalks, wooden watering troughs, hitching rails and many old buildings from the turn of the century.

Forget Buffalo Bill, Butch Cassidy, Billy the Kid, and countless men and women of notoriety who helped define the mythology of the American West. Meeteetse had its own brand of mythmaker: Poker Nell, Bronco Nell, Laughing Smith, Swede Pete, Airplane Jerry, Greasy Bill, Checkbook Charlie, and Shorty the Crock to name a few.

By 1906, the town had seven saloons, one store, two banks, and two hotels. There were several other bars scattered over the area. At the forks of the Greybull and Wood Rivers was a popular bar called the "Bucket of Blood." The town had a reputation as a "wild and woolly" town until fairly recently. For the first time churches now outnumber saloons.

The Meeteetse area is rich in history with the expansive Pitchfork Ranch, famous as one the west's true cattle empires. It was the first cattle ranching operation of the Big Horn Basin, established in 1879 by Otto Franc. By 1900, thousands of cattle grazed along the Greybull River and Wood River Valleys. Although first discovered on the John Hogg Ranch, the Pitchfork is also well known for the fact the last known colony of an endangered species thought to be extinct, the Black Footed Ferret, was found on its grasslands.Noted outlaw Butch Cassidy lived in Meeteetse. In 1886, he signed a petition for the new bridge, and in 1894, he was arrested in front of the Cowboy Bar.

One section of the wooden boardwalk is covered with various brands from area ranches.

Smith Mine

2011-08-20T20:34:00.004-06:00

This was the site of the worst mining disaster in Montana.

The story of the mine disaster is quite interesting when you read how many women were widowed and children made fatherless and all the other statistics. This is a link to an article detailing more facts...http://www.bearcreekmt.com/disa.htm

The entire place is one total ghost town.

Unfortunately when Joe and I came by this place is was starting to become dark and we still needed to get back into Cody. I found out later that there was an old cemetery located on the top of the hill that had been there for over 100 years. Sure would have loved to have checked that one out!

We Made It To Montana

2011-08-20T20:30:00.000-06:00

At the border of Montana. The temperature was 50 degrees and windy, but we had a beautiful
rainbow to greet us.

Today In History...

2011-08-17T23:10:00.006-06:00

August 17, 2004…Singer/songwriter Dan Fogelberg announced that he was battling advanced prostate cancer. He died from the disease a little more than three years later.

I'm writing about this because it reminds me of a memory dealing with Les and I think it may be one that Corey doesn't know about his Dad and I.

After Les and I met in Louisiana, he came back to Georgia with me to meet my parents. When we returned back to his home to pick up his things since he was going to move back to Georgia permanently. We drove up to his house and out in the snow was his stereo and speakers and all of his record albums. Apparently we had arrived about the time someone was stealing things from his home.

Although the items had been left in the cold and the snow, they were all in good working order. Among the record albums was one by Dan Fogelberg. It became one of my favorites and many a night Les and I would put it on the stereo, turn down the lights, sit down on the couch and snuggle up with each other and listen to the album.

Some of our favorite Dan Fogelberg songs include:

It's amazing to me how music can stir so many memories such as these do. Happy days, happy memories which make me still wonder what went wrong?

The Beartooth Mountains

2011-08-17T23:03:00.002-06:00

The mountains and the snow kept getting closer until the road eventually took us on top of the mountain and we were above the snow. The melted snow lakes and the amount of snow was unbelievable as well as the surrounding scenery. Notice the rainbow forming in the background of the last picture.

So There We Were In Bear Country...

2011-08-17T22:41:00.000-06:00

...in the mountains where there were lots and lots of signs that said be "Bear Aware". Joe's kinda napping and dozing off on occasion, when suddenly I see this BIG BROWN thing coming down the road. I think it's a bear! After all, we are in bear country and in all the traveling we've done, I've never seen a bear in the wild. So, here is my/our big chance. I start taking pictures through the windshield, while yelling at Joe to "look, look" before it's gone. Picture No. 1...

Picture No. 2...it's getting closer and closer.

And then the bear gets closer when I suddently realize it's a lone buffalo - a bison just strolling down the road like it's out for a Sunday stroll. I totally stop the car, hoping it's a safe distance, when it walks past the car. Joe could have reached out and touched it if he'd a mind too or the buffalo could have turned around and gored the car. Try explaining that to my Allstate Insurance dude, huh?

This thing was at least 10 feet tall and 20 feet long and could have popped his head inside the sunroof. Well, maybe that's a slight exaggeration, but that's what it looked like

We had to turn the car around and go back for another look since you don't see that kinda thing just every day. No, Dorothy we certainly aren't in Georgia anymore!

The Beartooth Highway

2011-08-14T22:57:00.003-06:00

The Beartooth Highway is a 68-mile travel corridor where the road rises to 10, 947 feet at Beartooth Pass in Wyoming and has been awarded the National Scenic Byways "All-American Road" status. I can see why! This is one of the most incredible stretches of road that I've ever had the privilege to drive on and experience sheer unbelievable beauty.

Heading From Cody, Wyoming Into Montana

2011-08-14T21:29:00.027-06:00

Heading north out of Cody to Montana

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Heading west on the Chief Joseph Scenie Byway. Summer 1877 brought tragedy to the Nez Perce (or, in their language, Ni-Mii-puu). Many of their tribe had been removed from homelands to a reservation. Now the U.S. Army was ordered to put the remaining Nez Perce there. These bands objected because they had not sold their land to the U.S. government nor signed a treaty. Nez Perce leaders decided to lead their people in search of a new home. The trek of more than 800 people and 2,000 horses was to be peaceful. But warriors killed Idaho settlers as revenge for earlier murders, which caused the Army to chase the Nez Perce. Their trek became a flight marked by skirmishes and battles, the last of which stopped them more than 1,000 miles away from their homeland and less than 40 miles from safety in Canada.

Led by Chief Joseph more than 800 men, women and children composing five Indian bands refused to be placed on a reservation. In a running battle that covered 1,300 miles, the Nez Perce successfully, but fatefully, outfought and outran U.S. troops commanded by General Oliver D. Howard.

The Nez Perce plan was to seek help from their Crow allies in eastern Montana. Unfortunately the Crow refused to aid the Nez Perce forcing them to continue their flight north toward Canada. Only about 40 miles from the safety of the Canadian border and just north of the Bear Paw Mountains, the Nez Perce paused to rest and regroup before making their final trek to safety.

Unbeknownst to the Nez Perce, Colonel Nelson A. Miles, with 400 men from the Tongue River Cantonment near what is today Miles City, Montana, had been dispatched to intercept them. Coming from the east, the Indian scouts, who were deployed to the south to scout for General Howard, did not learn of the threat until it was too late. Thus began the five day Battle of the Bear Paws – the last battle the Nez Perce were to fight and the end of their dream of remaining free.

The view just went on and on and on forever.

Looking down from Dead Indian Summit.

At an elevation of 8,060 feet, Dead Indian Summit Overlook, a paved turnout at the high point of the Byway, provides a spectacular panorama of the Absaroka and Beartooth mountains. The 220-degree view from this point is among the most dramatic in the West. Various legends claim the origin of this famous Wyoming placename. Most versions of the legends agree that a skirmish between early prospectors or the U.S. Army and a party of Bannock Indians occurred here in 1878. One of the Bannocks died and was left at the summit. A totally different version says one of the mountain peaks off in the distance looks like the profile of a Native American.

Panoramic views of the Absaroka Mountains and the mouth of Sunlight Basin.

Looking back up at Dead Indian's Summit.

Cody, Wyoming

2011-08-14T20:53:00.005-06:00

Someone's travel bus covered in wood.
Hmmm.

The main objective of this daycation was to do some exploring in Cody. It was the first time I'd been to that part of the state and I was excited to see the museum and the cemetery and the old town. However, by the time we finally arrived in Cody it was almost 5:00 and too late to visit the museum or anything else on a Saturday afternoon. Incorporated in 1901, Cody is located 52 miles from Yellowstone National Park's east entrance. Cody was founded by Colonel William F. "Buffalo Bill" Cody who passed through the region in the 1870s. He was so impressed by the development possibilities from irrigation, rich soil, grand scenery, hunting and proximity to Yellowstone Park that he returned in the mid-1890s to start a town. He brought with him men whose names are still on street signs in Cody's downtown area: Beck, Alger, Rumsey, Bleistein and Salsbury.

Our home away from home.

Could you tell it was the week of bike week in
Sturgis and that Cody was a main route to
travel there?

Motorcycles lined up in downtown Cody.

I Brake For The Brown Signs

2011-08-10T07:09:00.003-06:00

Anyone who rides with me while we're out exploring or on a daycation knows that I brake for the brown signs. The brown signs signify that something of historical importance is about to come up shortly. I love the brown signs. It's amazing the things you can learn and the things I would never have known. These are examples of some of those signs...

Established in the 1890’s by Tom Lanchberry to accommodate passengers and horses on the Red Lodge to Fort Washakie run, Eagle’s Nest Station, one-half mile north, operated until early in the century when railway expansion limited it’s usefulness. Stout four and six-horse teams, under salty drivers, pulling tough, coach-type wagons, were changed every 15 to 20 miles. Stages traveled 60 to 80 miles a day, tying together cattle ranches and army posts. One dollar a night for supper, bed and breakfast was the usual charge to dust-covered passengers on the long rough route from Montana’s Northern Pacific to the Union Pacific railroad in southern Wyoming.

On September 10th 1880, Victor Arland and John F. Corbett set up the first mercantile establishment in the Big Horn Basin on the Indian Trace that follows Trail Creek. Looking to the cattlemen for business, they moved to Cottonwood Creek in1883, then to Meeteetse Creek in 1884 where Arland, their final trading post, was established.

Corbett, doing the freighting from Billings for company enterprises, set up a way station in the river bottom where the freight road crossed the Stinking Water River—later renamed the Shoshone. A bridge, the first of five to span the river at this point, was constructed in 1883 at a cost of $5,000 raised by subscription from cattlemen, the Northern Pacific Railroad and Billings merchants.

Accommodations provided were a small store, a saloon and overnight lodging. The post office was established in 1885 with Corbett the postmaster. It was a gathering place and social center long before Cody came into existence twelve years later.

Corbett died in bed at his Meeteetse home December 15, 1910. His partner, Arland, went to his reward in more traditional style—dying with his boots on. In December, 1889, a shot fired through a saloon window in Red Lodge, Montana, killed him while he is playing poker.

The name of Corbett lingers on but the need for “Corbett’s Shebang” in the river bottom ended with the arrival of the railroad in November 1901.

Heart Mountain Internment Center

2011-08-07T21:55:00.009-06:00

The Heart Mountain Relocation Center, named after nearby Heart Mountain, was one of ten internment camps used to incarcerate Japanese Americans excluded from the West Coast during World War II under the provisions of Executive Order 9066 signed by President Franklin D. Roosevelt.

The location for the center was selected because it was remote and yet convenient. The land was managed by the federal Bureau of Reclamation, which before the war had initiated a major irrigation project in the area and had already constructed canals, buildings, and some infrastructure. The site was adjacent to a railroad spur and depot where internees could be off-loaded and processed.

Barbed wire still abounds. A red brick chimney remains as the highest man-made object for miles around. And Heart Mountain still towers over this treeless section of Northern Wyoming between the towns of Cody and Powell.

But the barbed wire now is used only to contain horses and acres of barley and feed corn. The smokestack that once helped to heat a 150-bed hospital is dormant. And Heart Mountain looks down on a desert area that has all but swept clean the memories of a half century ago.

In a state that prides itself on the heritage of the old West, little can be found of what 50 years ago was the third largest city in Wyoming. In August of 1942, this area became the site of one of 10 relocation camps set up for Japanese-Americans throughout the West.

This is a listing of over 700 internees who though locked up by the American government, went on to serve in the military.

For the three years, three months and three days of its existence, the Heart Mountain Relocation Center was home to nearly 11,000 Japanese-Americans, most of whom were from Northern California.

Built in 60 days, Heart Mountain was a community of 465 barracks — each divided into family-size apartments — mess halls, baths and toilet facilities. It also had its own water system, infirmary, post office, court system, fire department and a miniature zoo complete with rattlesnakes, rabbits, kangaroo rats, bats and other creatures native to their arid environment.

Garland, Wyoming

2011-08-07T21:38:00.002-06:00

In the small town of Garland, Wyoming I spotted this sign. My thoughts turned to what beans do for some people's digestive system. That could be an interesting place to work, huh?

This was the only claim to fame in the little town of Garland - Population 50. This sign was in the front yard of
the building that was built by the Burlington Railroad in 1901.

Heading To Powell/Cody

2011-08-07T19:26:00.007-06:00

Field of sunflowers

Following Mormon settlement of the Salt Lake Valley beginning in 1847, church leaders envisioned colonization of the entire inter-mountain region. In following decades, Mormons emigrated from Utah into Idaho, Arizona and Wyoming. Seeking to improve their economic status and following Mormon pioneering tradition, several hundred people in 1900 emigrated from Utah and Idaho to Wyoming’s Big Horn Basin where they built a canal and a community.

Under the Carey Act of 1894 states were encouraged to sell arable public land cheaply following reclamation. But private reclamation projects required capital, and some were aborted as investors lost faith. Unlike other privately-financed projects, the Sidon Canal was built without a large amount of capital. Emigrants were organized into the Big Horn Colonization Company, an irrigation cooperative which offered company shares in return for labor. Upon arriving in the Basin workers plunged into canal construction, excavating with horse-drawn plows and slip scrapers. Near this point work was blocked by a sandstone boulder known as “Prayer Rock.” According to legend, prayer and divine intervention caused the rock to split, allowing construction to continue and strengthening the emigrant faith in the canal project.

The 37-mile long canal was completed in less than two years. It still transports water from a headgate on the Shoshone River near the Big Horn-Park County line to a land segregation of approximately 20,000 acres. Its successful completion serves as an outstanding example of the cooperative effort and spirit of determination exhibited by Mormon pioneers in the American West.

Rock fomations near Sidon Canal

August 6-7 - 750 Miles

2011-08-07T19:23:00.011-06:00

We headed off for Cody, Wyoming for a daycation and decided to head north first of all on the interstate. Then we were going to head west through the Big Horn Mountains since it had been two years since our last visit in that area.

Heading into the Big Horn Mountains.

There's four moose(es) eating in these bushes.

The first of the snow we saw yesterday.

Some of the summer flowers.

The Big Horn Basin that goes on and on as far as you can see.

A view of the Big Horn Basin

Diary Diddle

2011-08-02T23:32:00.001-06:00

July 25, 1970 - Tonight Clayton took me out and we went and saw "Patton". It lasted for 3 hours and then he rought me home. Mom took me out to the base about my toe again.

July 26, 1970 - This morning we went to church as usual. I didn't lead music because of my toe. Clayton wore his wuit with a ruffled blue shirt today. It's real neat. This afternoon I wrote a letter to Dad and read a book.

July 29, 1969 - This morning I went to babysit for the Walker's. I only made $.75 since she went to the dentist around the block. (Wow, .75 whole cents)!

July 30, 1970 - Uncle Paul and famiy came today and are spending the night. We got another letter from Dad today. Paula is sleeping with me.

August 2, 1970 - This morning was church as usual. Clayton sat by me. He came over and Mom took us to Reed Bingham State Park. It was fun. We went walking down a natre trail and Clayton held m hand. On the way back, we stopped at the Dairy Queen in Adel.

That's me and Clayton in the back and Nancy on the riding horse.

My Birthday Celebrations

2011-08-02T23:18:00.000-06:00

1962 - Had a Happy Birthday. Got a slip and a pair of pattes (panties). Then we went to Toyko (Tokyo). In Toyko I saw Toyko Tower. We went to a Japanese house. I saw my mother and father baptized. Then went home with some friends called Christensen. They took me to the movie and made me a cake.

1963 - Today got two very pretty dresses. A Japanese dancing fan and a sewing kit.

1964 - Today I had my first birthday party. I got many beautiful things.

1965 - Today I only got a box of candy and a card. I liked it though because we went to the beach.

1969 - I got the soundtrack "The Graduate". Dad bought some pecan divinity for me. I made Mom another dress or rather finished it. I didn't give Mom or Dad any present since I don't have any money.

Diary Diddle - July 27

2011-08-02T23:10:00.001-06:00

1962 - My mother made me a Martha Washington case. Hope I have a Happy birthday.

1963 - Today I got a Japanese Bride doll, a jewel box and a very pretty cheery cake.
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Note: I don't remember what happened to the Japanese Bride doll. The jewlry box got left behind in the house in Georgia, I think since I haven't found it here in Wyoming. And I'm sure it was a cheery cake, but it was actually cherry.

Diary Diddle - July 25

2011-08-02T23:02:00.001-06:00

1969 - Mom finally decided to let us girls shave our legs. It sure was a great feeling to get rid of those old hairs!

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Note: Now I don't see what the big deal is about shaving legs. It's a pain in the butt since it has to be done on a regular bais.

And no, that picture does not show my legs.

Birthday Card

2011-08-02T22:30:00.000-06:00

July 1996 Olympics

2011-08-02T22:18:00.005-06:00

Our Olympic tickets to the Women's Field Hockey

I wrote about the Olympic that Corey and I had in an earlier blog dated Sunday, August 10, 2008 entitled The Olympics. I have since found our tickets and some additional pictures taken that day.

Walking to the Olympic venue

At the hockey game. Go USA!

Mom's Diary Diddle

2011-08-02T22:11:00.001-06:00

July 27, 1961 - I got Jim a watch band and a box of cigars for his anniversary.

July 28, 1961 - This is the big day. Ten years. Carol was happy with her radio. My darling got me a big bottle of cologne. We are going out.

July 28, 1962 - Today Jim and I wer baptized into The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints by Don Lee Christensen. We are happy.

Their baptism day at the Tokyo Mission Home in Japan.

These are chopsticks that I picked out and Mom and Dad bought for me on my birthday in Tokyo the day they were baptized.

July 28, 1963 - Carol is 11 today. Jim got me the jewelry chest like I have been wanting.

The Best Laid Plans Often Go Astray, Awry, Away or Off Course..

2011-07-30T22:54:00.010-06:00

I had great intentions for today. I WaS going to clean my house and car and plan and organize food for the coming week. You obviously have not seen my bedroom and the slow disintegration of order in the rest of the house and there will be no pictures of it either to accompany this posting. If you had seen the house and you are a female, you WOulD understand! After all, we didn't go on a daycation and I should have had time. I even got a head start on the cleaning last night. I did some rug shampooing on an ever increasing large section of carpet, where someone shuffles back and forth in his shoes when I'm not home to remind him to take his shoes off for the 539,913, 604, 233rd time and has managed to start changing the color of the carpet from light to a sight. I washed, dryed, folded and put away three loads of clothes. Joe did clothes last night and I'm still trying to correctly find and match socks, find missing clothes and that was on the agenda for today also.

I started the day by doing some vacuuming and a little straightening up before taking my car for an oil change. Can you believe the price of just changing your oil?! Almost $33.00 and that's with a coupon, no new oil or air filter, an alleged cracked serpentine chain or belt, a blown on rear light/blinker and this could all be fixed for the amazing price of $220.00!!! I don't think so. Not today. I'll take the car to my handy-dandy I can trust him mechanic sometime next week. Then I picked up some items at the West side Walmart, since it was close by, stopped by to visit Marla who'd just gotten back into town and has a terrible cough. While there I got a phone call from Joe telling me that the man with "I've Fallen And I Can't Get Up" was at the house and I was needed ASAP. When I arrived home, I found out that Mr. IFAICGU had been in my bedroom, yes the bedroom that NOboDY should ever have seen with mortal eyes!!! They were looking for a phone jack and plug for the new machine. I was so furious, upset, and just couldn't believe he'd seen the room from bedroom hell! And, there was my underwear lying right by the door. Don't tell me he didn't see that along with my hanging bras! The man probably left our home and drove straight to therapy! But hey, Joe now has an emergency lifeline beeper.

By now it was almost 1:00 p.m. and becoming almost too late for lunch so I took my sweetie to lunch. Then we had to stop by the Eastside Walmart for med refills and dog food BEForE taking Joe to get a haircut and beard trim. A couple of times during the day, Joe had asked if we could go to the top of Casper Mountain. I asked him why since we'd been up there a couple of months ago. He said he wanted to go again and see the valley below before he lost anymore of his sight. How could I refuse that, I ask you? So, I wound up driving him ALL over Casper Mountain and all around the bottom of the mountain. Then, and only then did I finally get to come home and collapsed on the couch for a few minutes. By now it was after 7:00 p.m. way past normal dinner time so then it was on to fixing dinner.

This is where we pulled off so that Joe could take a look at
Casper and the surrounding area on this beautiful clear day.

I have run out of speed and run out of energy. WHAT HAPPENED TO MY DAY!!! Can we start all over, PLEASE!? I have virtually accomplished NOthing of what I wanted/needed to do. The bedroom from hell looks just as bad, but I suppose when I enter its dark confines tonight, I won't be able to notice the lack of improvement.

So, let's see, no meal planning done...check. No found clothes and matching socks...check. No clean sheets on the bed...check. No washed bathroom rugs and cleaned bathroom...check. No cleaned car...check. No blogging....only thing one. Hmmm, the results - one entirely, unplanned and completely unraveled day. But, while up on the mountain I stopped the car one time, told Joe to "look". He said "where?" I said "turn your head and look out your window." There was a doe standing so close to him that she could have given Joe a kiss. (Unfortunately, no camera ready this time). And, this was after seeing two little spotted fawns earlier on the other side of the road. This was what made having all my best laid plans go totally crazy worthwhile. It was seeing Joe's smiling face looking eyeball to eyeball with that doe. The sheer pleasure it brought him was priceless. It's a moment that will forever be ingrained in my mind even without a picture. It was the experience of having all the car windows open and the sunroof open and pulling off the side of the road on the top of a dirt road and just taking in the view with Joe that was something I will always remember.

All-in-all it was a wonderful non-daycation day. I did gets lots of things done even though I'm still sooooo far behind on what I wanted/needed to do. Joe's tucked in bed after giving him his nightly meds and ready to watch some DVR shows that are several weeks old. Don't know how long that'll last because ahhh, the bed is looking pretty good about now! (In the dark, of course)!
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Note: Never popped the popcorn and only made it through one show.
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From Robert Burns' poem To a Mouse, 1786. It tells of how he, while ploughing a field, upturned a mouse's nest. The resulting poem is an apology to the mouse:

But, Mousie, thou art no thy lane [you aren't alone]
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best laid schemes o' mice an' men
Gang aft a-gley, [often go awry]
An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain,
For promised joy.

60 Years Together

2011-07-28T22:46:00.003-06:00

The Ministry of Angels by Jeffrey R. Holland

2011-07-28T00:06:00.001-06:00

When Adam and Eve willingly stepped into mortality, they knew this telestial world would contain thorns and thistles and troubles of every kind. Perhaps their most challenging realization, however, was not the hardship and danger they would endure but the fact that they would now be distanced from God, separated from Him with whom they had walked and talked, who had given them face-to-face counsel. After this conscious choice, as the record of creation says, “they saw him not; for they were shut out from his presence.”¹ Amidst all else that must have troubled them, surely this must have troubled them the most.

But God knew the challenges they would face, and He certainly knew how lonely and troubled they would sometimes feel. So He watched over His mortal family constantly, heard their prayers always, and sent prophets (and later apostles) to teach, counsel, and guide them. But in times of special need, He sent angels, divine messengers, to bless His children, reassure them that heaven was always very close and that His help was always very near. Indeed, shortly after Adam and Eve found themselves in the lone and dreary world, an angel appeared unto them,² who taught them the meaning of their sacrifice and the atoning role of the promised Redeemer who was to come.

When the time for this Savior’s advent was at hand, an angel was sent to announce to Mary that she was to be the mother of the Son of God.³ Then a host of angels was commissioned to sing on the night the baby Jesus was born.⁴ Shortly thereafter an angel would announce to Joseph that the newborn baby was in danger and that this little family must flee to Egypt for safety.⁵ When it was safe to return, an angel conveyed that information to the family and the three returned to the land of their heritage.⁶

From the beginning down through the dispensations, God has used angels as His emissaries in conveying love and concern for His children. Time in this setting does not allow even a cursory examination of the scriptures or our own latter-day history, which are so filled with accounts of angels ministering to those on earth, but it is rich doctrine and rich history indeed.

Usually such beings are not seen. Sometimes they are. But seen or unseen they are always near. Sometimes their assignments are very grand and have significance for the whole world. Sometimes the messages are more private. Occasionally the angelic purpose is to warn. But most often it is to comfort, to provide some form of merciful attention, guidance in difficult times. When in Lehi’s dream he found himself in a frightening place, “a dark and dreary waste,” as he described it, he was met by an angel, “a man … dressed in a white robe; … he spake unto me,” Lehi said, “and bade me follow him.”⁷ Lehi did follow him to safety and ultimately to the path of salvation.

In the course of life all of us spend time in “dark and dreary” places, wildernesses, circumstances of sorrow or fear or discouragement. Our present day is filled with global distress over financial crises, energy problems, terrorist attacks, and natural calamities. These translate into individual and family concerns not only about homes in which to live and food available to eat but also about the ultimate safety and well-being of our children and the latter-day prophecies about our planet. More serious than these—and sometimes related to them—are matters of ethical, moral, and spiritual decay seen in populations large and small, at home and abroad. But I testify that angels are still sent to help us, even as they were sent to help Adam and Eve, to help the prophets, and indeed to help the Savior of the world Himself. Matthew records in his gospel that after Satan had tempted Christ in the wilderness “angels came and ministered unto him.”⁸ Even the Son of God, a God Himself, had need for heavenly comfort during His sojourn in mortality. And so such ministrations will be to the righteous until the end of time. As Mormon said to his son Moroni, who would one day be an angel:

“Has the day of miracles ceased?

“Or have angels ceased to appear unto the children of men? Or has he withheld the power of the Holy Ghost from them? Or will he, so long as time shall last, or the earth shall stand, or there shall be one man upon the face thereof to be saved?

“Behold I say unto you, Nay; for … it is by faith that angels appear and minister unto men. …

“For behold, they are subject unto [Christ], to minister according to the word of his command, showing themselves unto them of strong faith and a firm mind in every form of godliness.”⁹

I ask everyone within the sound of my voice to take heart, be filled with faith, and remember the Lord has said He “would fight [our] battles, [our] children’s battles, and [the battles of our] children’s children.”¹⁰ And what do we do to merit such a defense? We are to “search diligently, pray always, and be believing[. Then] all things shall work together for [our] good, if [we] walk uprightly and remember the covenant wherewith [we] have covenanted.”¹¹ The latter days are not a time to fear and tremble. They are a time to be believing and remember our covenants.

I have spoken here of heavenly help, of angels dispatched to bless us in time of need. But when we speak of those who are instruments in the hand of God, we are reminded that not all angels are from the other side of the veil. Some of them we walk with and talk with—here, now, every day. Some of them reside in our own neighborhoods. Some of them gave birth to us, and in my case, one of them consented to marry me. Indeed heaven never seems closer than when we see the love of God manifested in the kindness and devotion of people so good and so pure that angelic is the only word that comes to mind. Elder James Dunn, from this pulpit just moments ago, used that word in his invocation to describe this Primary choir—and why not? With the spirit, faces, and voices of those children in our mind and before our eyes, may I share with you an account by my friend and BYU colleague, the late Clyn D. Barrus. I do so with the permission of his wife, Marilyn, and their family.

Referring to his childhood on a large Idaho farm, Brother Barrus spoke of his nightly assignment to round up the cows at milking time. Because the cows pastured in a field bordered by the occasionally treacherous Teton River, the strict rule in the Barrus household was that during the spring flood season the children were never to go after any cows who ventured across the river. They were always to return home and seek mature help.

One Saturday just after his seventh birthday, Brother Barrus’s parents promised the family a night at the movies if the chores were done on time. But when young Clyn arrived at the pasture, the cows he sought had crossed the river, even though it was running at high flood stage. Knowing his rare night at the movies was in jeopardy, he decided to go after the cows himself, even though he had been warned many times never to do so.

As the seven-year-old urged his old horse, Banner, down into the cold, swift stream, the horse’s head barely cleared the water. An adult sitting on the horse would have been safe, but at Brother Barrus’s tender age, the current completely covered him except when the horse lunged forward several times, bringing Clyn’s head above water just enough to gasp for air.

Here I turn to Brother Barrus’s own words:

“When Banner finally climbed the other bank, I realized that my life had been in grave danger and that I had done a terrible thing—I had knowingly disobeyed my father. I felt that I could redeem myself only by bringing the cows home safely. Maybe then my father would forgive me. But it was already dusk, and I didn’t know for sure where I was. Despair overwhelmed me. I was wet and cold, lost and afraid.

“I climbed down from old Banner, fell to the ground by his feet, and began to cry. Between thick sobs, I tried to offer a prayer, repeating over and over to my Father in Heaven, ‘I’m sorry. Forgive me! I’m sorry. Forgive me!’

“I prayed for a long time. When I finally looked up, I saw through my tears a figure dressed in white walking toward me. In the dark, I felt certain it must be an angel sent in answer to my prayers. I did not move or make a sound as the figure approached, so overwhelmed was I by what I saw. Would the Lord really send an angel to me, who had been so disobedient?

“Then a familiar voice said, ‘Son, I’ve been looking for you.’ In the darkness I recognized the voice of my father and ran to his outstretched arms. He held me tightly, then said gently, ‘I was worried. I’m glad I found you.’

“I tried to tell him how sorry I was, but only disjointed words came out of my trembling lips—‘Thank you … darkness … afraid … river … alone.’ Later that night I learned that when I had not returned from the pasture, my father had come looking for me. When neither I nor the cows were to be found, he knew I had crossed the river and was in danger. Because it was dark and time was of the essence, he removed his clothes down to his long white thermal underwear, tied his shoes around his neck, and swam a treacherous river to rescue a wayward son.”¹²

My beloved brothers and sisters, I testify of angels, both the heavenly and the mortal kind. In doing so I am testifying that God never leaves us alone, never leaves us unaided in the challenges that we face. “[N]or will he, so long as time shall last, or the earth shall stand, or there shall be one man [or woman or child] upon the face thereof to be saved.”¹³ On occasions, global or personal, we may feel we are distanced from God, shut out from heaven, lost, alone in dark and dreary places. Often enough that distress can be of our own making, but even then the Father of us all is watching and assisting. And always there are those angels who come and go all around us, seen and unseen, known and unknown, mortal and immortal.

May we all believe more readily in, and have more gratitude for, the Lord’s promise as contained in one of President Monson’s favorite scriptures: “I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, … my Spirit shall be in your [heart], and mine angels round about you, to bear you up.”¹⁴ In the process of praying for those angels to attend us, may we all try to be a little more angelic ourselves—with a kind word, a strong arm, a declaration of faith and “the covenant wherewith [we] have covenanted.”¹⁵ Perhaps then we can be emissaries sent from God when someone, perhaps a Primary child, is crying, “Darkness … afraid … river … alone.” To this end I pray in the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen.

You Just Never Know Until...

2011-07-27T23:49:00.005-06:00

In a few hours it will be my birthday. My 59th birthday. I don't expect much from it mainly because I don't need or want anything. I have all that I need and want really. Oh, don't let me kid you - I'd love more money to do the things I'd like to do such as travel, hire a private trainer, someone to cook and clean for me - things like that. But, in the real world, I have all that I want or need.

I've gone to the mailbox this week and every day has brought some new surprise there or the patio chair parked beside the front door has produced handmade goodies several times recently.

I got an unexpected card the other day. It read on the inside, "So glad to have a friend like you! Happy Birthday". And then written it said "You probably have no idea how much I admire you. You are an incredible woman of strength and courage."

I don't know this woman very well other than she and her husband served a mission together, she is very sweet and so knowledgeable about the gospel and so nicely soft-spoken. In other words, she is so totally the opposite of myself. But, her words make me feel so wonderful in that she apparently sees in me what I feel I lack so many times.

Then another card arrived in today's mail. Inside it read, "Thank you for all the kindnesses you showed me when you were my visiting teacher. They helped me at a hard spot in my life. Have a great birthday. You are a super special lady. I love your great sense of humor. You are a fun person and great example of a follower of Christ."

Wow, once again the power of visiting teaching has shown me how much we can influence people even if we don't think we are. I had no idea that this sweet woman felt this way about me, but I am so happy that apparently I have made a difference in her life.

And then finally tonight when I came home after working for almost 12 hours, there on my living room floor was a beautiful bag with presents and a handwritten card for me. It read, "Dear Carol, Happy Birthday!!! I just wanted to send my love and remind you how wonderful you are! It has been such a blessing for us to know you and Joe. A tender mercy...

Here's a little something for you to remind you 1st, of what an angel you are, and 2nd - that you always have angels watching out for you! I just loved a part of this talk that reminded me of you because it was about angels.
I hope sometime when you ever get a moment or just need a pick-me up, you will read from this and be lifted.
"God never leaves us alone," he says. I know that's true. Thanks for being the first person to reach out, love and be our angel this summer! We love you guys!

The gift bag contained two angels and a beautiful talk by Jeffrey R. Holland about "The Ministry of Angels". These gifts and the handwritten card are from a young couple who are here for only three months while the husband does some internship with the federal government. I introduced myself to them their first Sunday, had them over for dinner and we've gone on daycation together, out to dinner and special lectures and I was made her visiting teacher.
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I just know it's easy to reach out and love people - especially in our ward. That's what they did for us when we first moved here and they've never stopped doing it since. Our ward is filled with angels in all shapes and sizes. So, many thanks to all the unknown angels from the Weaver family. Thanks for the anonymous goodies, the priesthood blessings, the phone calls, the cards, the visits, the tears of comfort and joy, the wonderful home teachers, the fantastic visiting teachers and all the other countless and unnamed peoples, in and out of our ward family that have been blessings in my life, in Joe's life.

Life is good. Life is great, most of the time. Life and love is a present that I enjoy having every single day - not just on my birthday.

Diary Diddle - July 24

2011-07-25T01:12:00.000-06:00

We got 4 letters from Dad today. They were so good.

Diary Diddle - July 23

2011-07-25T01:11:00.001-06:00

We went to grandmother's house this afternoon and visited for awhile. On the way home we picked up bottles and got an ice cream cone in Nashville. On the way home we saw a double rainbow and rode right in the middle of it once.

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Note: Picking up bottles along side the road became a tradition while Dad was in Vietnam. We always did it either coming or going to Grandmother's house and always stopped in Nashville for some ice cream.

Today In History...

2011-07-25T01:06:00.000-06:00

July 24, 1969…The Apollo 11 astronauts splashed down safely in the Pacific Ocean following their spaceflight that landed the first humans on Earth's moon.

It's Our 7th Wedding Anniversary

2011-07-24T19:54:00.005-06:00

Several years ago there was a movie that came out. It was called "Shall We Dance?" and starred Richard Gere and Susan Sarandon as his wife.

One of the things that I loved about that movie, other than looking and drooling over Richard Gere, was a statement that was made in response by Susan Sarandon's character. The character was asked about why people get married and her character says:

"Because we need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet. What does anyone life really mean? In a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things. The bad things. The terrible things. The mundane things. All of it. All the time. Every day. You're saying your life will not go unnoticed, because I will notice it. Your life will not go unwitnessed, because I will be your witness."

Joe is the witness to my life. He's my best friend, he's my best buddy, he's my confidant. He's a loving man who taught me how to love again when my heart had been broken and he restored my faith that someone could love me just exactly the way I am. So, on our anniversary, here's hoping for at least another wonderful seven years together.

Heading Home From Nebraska

2011-07-24T19:46:00.001-06:00

What a beautiful way to enjoy the ride home.

Hat Creek Stagecoach Station

2011-07-24T19:22:00.010-06:00

Ruts heading to the old stagecoach station

The Hat Creek Stage Station lies below a ridge of pine clad hills (or brakes) that separates the high plain called the Divide and the land at the foot of the hills known as the Hat Creek Valley. The station is on the old stage road which later became Highway 85.

In 1875 troops of soldiers were sent from Fort Laramie to establish an outpost on Hat Creek in western Nebraska. Confused, they set up a post on Sage Creek, Wyoming and named it Hat Creek. The troops were supposed to keep gold seekers and settlers out of the Black Hills Indian Territory. This was the Indian's hunting grounds and game was plentiful. They resented anyone moving in and made raids on emigrants, stagecoaches, freight wagons and ranches.

The 1868 Indian treaty was ratified in 1876 - so now the hills were open to settlement and gold seekers. Freight and stage roads were established from Cheyenne, Wyo. to Deadwood, S. D. Another route branched NE from Hat Creek to the Harding ranch on Indian Creek to Cheyenne River Ranch, Custer and Deadwood.

In 1876 a telegraph line followed the stage route from Fort Laramie to Deadwood, S. D. Telegraph stations were set up at stage stations. Hat Creek's office opened in Sept. 1876. It was later in the month before messages could be sent because Indians had torn down some of the line near Hat Creek.

Freighters first broke the trail from Cheyenne to Deadwood in 1875 and 76. In 1876 the Cheyenne-Deadwood stagecoach carried mail and passengers. Holdups were very commonplace and the breaks south of Hat Creek Station was a perfect place for bandits and outlaws to waylay the coach. Many famous people as well as outlaws came thru via stagecoach.

Hat Creek Ranch and Stage Stop on Sage Creek was built in the fall of 1876 by John Bowman and Joe Walters. The first building put up by J. W. Dear was burned by the Indians. The new building was built of logs and a tunnel ran from it to the creek. The station was open for business in 1877. Besides hotel accommodations, it had a post office, telegraph office, stock and hay, bakery, grocery, brewery and blacksmith shop. In 1879, Charles Hecht bought the station.

There was no military fort at Hat Creek. Only Calvary troops from 1875 to 1877 - according to records at Washington, D. C.

These look like old bunkhouses and/or where horses were stabled.

Outside Lusk, Wyoming

2011-07-24T19:11:00.004-06:00

On our way to find an old stagecoach station way out in the country, we discovered this old abandoned school.

This old hitching post and water pump located in the back yard of the school.

Crawford and Ft. Robinson, Nebraska

2011-07-24T19:06:00.008-06:00

Crawford sprang up as a tent city on land owned by homesteader-newspaper correspondent William E. Annin in 1886 when the Fremont, Elkhorn and Missouri Valley Railroad pushed through the Nebraska Panhandle. To incorporate the town, editor William Edgar supplemented civilian signatures with those of obliging soldiers stationed at nearby Fort Robinson. After the Burlington Railroad passed northward in 1887, Crawford became a supply depot and entertainment center for the Fort. Troops no longer man the "Outpost on the Plains," but the Fort, 3 miles to the west, remains as an important historic site and tourist attraction.

Named for Army Captain Emmet Crawford, a Fort Robinson soldier, the city lies in the White River Valley in Pine Ridge country and serves an extensive cattle ranching and farming area. The Fort Laramie-Fort Pierre Fur Trail of the 1840s and the Sidney-Black Hills Trail active during the Black Hills gold rush of the 1870s both passed through this site. Crawford has been host or home to such personages as Sioux Chief Red Cloud; former desperado David (Doc) Middleton; poet-scout John Wallace Crawford; frontierswoman Calamity Jane; Army scout Baptiste (Little Bat) Garnier, shot down in a saloon; military surgeon Walter Reed, conqueror of Yellow fever; and President Theodore Roosevelt.

Black soldiers of the Ninth and Tenth cavalry regiments (called 'buffalo soldiers' by the Plains Indians) garrisoned Fort Robinson for eighteen years and played an important role in northwestern Nebraska's history. Organized in 1866, the regiments first served in the Southwest.
In 1885 the Ninth Cavalry arrived at Fort Robinson, which was regimental headquarters from 1887 to 1898. The black troopers helped build the new post during the fort's 1887 expansion and were the first cavalrymen sent to the Pine Ridge Reservation during the Ghost Dance trouble of 1890. Lt. John Alexander, the second African American graduate of West Point, and Henry Plummer, the first black chaplain in the regular army, served here. So did ten buffalo soldier Medal of Honor men.
In 1902 the men of the 'Fighting Tenth' Cavalry, veterans of the Battle of San Juan Hill, made their headquarters here. Four years later the Tenth helped capture Ute Indians who had fled their Utah reservation, the last military action against Indians on the northern Plains. In 1907 the regiment left for duty in the Philippines."

The view inside Ft. Robinson.

Just before 10 P.M. on January 9, 1879, the 130 Cheyennes held in the cavalry barracks made their desperate bid for freedom. After disabling the soldier guards, they fled across this ground to the White River beyond. Under heavy fire from pursuing troops, they followed the river and climbed the high buttes several miles to the west. During this initial fighting, twenty-seven Cheyennes and five soldiers were killed. The Cheyennes were buried in a mass grave near the post sawmill."

The scenery around Ft. Robinson.

Montrose, Nebraska

2011-07-24T18:49:00.008-06:00

This monument on the summit of a conical hill nearby, honors Col. Wesley Merritt and troops of the Fifth US Calvary who used this position to prevent a group of approximately 800 Cheyenne Indians from joining the victors of the Little Big Horn Battle. As the troops charged toward the southeast, the Cheyenne returned to the Red Cloud Indian Agency near Fort Robinson. The Indian leader, Yellowhand, was killed during the skirmish.
This same hilltop was the site of a civilian "fort" used in protecting area residents in case of Indian attack during the Ghost Dance troubles of 1890. The anticipated attack never came. Parts of this outpost are still visible.

Montrose Church and cemetery.

Immaculate Conception Church was planned in 1886 and build in 1887.

The oldest grave in the cemetery is dated 1839.

Across the road from the Montrose church is a monument that marks the spot where Buffalo Bill Cody scalped Chief Yellowhand, the Cheyenne leader, after hand to hand combat. His scalp was displayed for years in Buffalo Bill's Wild West Show.

The Oglala National Grassland

2011-07-24T17:02:00.004-06:00

The Oglala National Grassland covers 94,400 acres of the Nebraska panhandle. This ocean of prairie grass brings to mind what early settlers found throughout the area. The grass stretches from horizon to horizon.

The next two pictures show some petrified sand dunes and sand...

Lots of signs like this along the drive.

Other sights along the way...

Agate Fossil Bed National Monument

2011-07-24T16:55:00.006-06:00

Agate Fossil Beds and its surrounding prairie are preserved in a 3,000 acre national monument. Once part of “Captain” James H. Cook’s Agate Springs Ranch, the nearby beds are an important source for 19.2 million year-old Miocene epoch mammal fossils. Cook’s ranch also became a gathering place for Chief Red Cloud and other Oglala Lakota (Sioux) Indian people.

Notice the sign - "Caution Rattlesnakes"

This is the cabin that the Cook family lived in surrounded by plains grasses and mountain ridges out in the middle of nowhere.

Joe heading for our picnic lunch. And yes, that is another "Caution Rattlesnakes" sign.

The Agate Fossil Bed National Monument is known for two reasons: the dinosaur discoveries and the Indian artifacts collection.

During this time of scientific exploration other gatherings took place at the Agate Springs Ranch. Red Cloud of the Oglala Lakota Sioux and many of his friends and family members would make the 150 mile trip by wagon from the Pine Ridge Reservation. While staying at the ranch they hunted, worked for James Cook, and butchered beef they were given, tanned hides, told stories and danced. Many residents of the surrounding area remember going to the ranch to watch and participate in the dancing and singing. From the gifts given through a friendship forged between the cultures this extraordinary collection of American Indian artifacts became known as the James H. Cook Collection. Special items such as Red Cloud's shirt and three generations of pipebags as well as items of daily use are included in the collection.

Nebraska - Part Two

2011-07-24T15:32:00.004-06:00

Here we are again - just in another part of the state.

Large pioneer ranches were established in this region of Nebraska in the 1870's and early 1880's. Charles F. Coffee was one of these pioneers, with ranch headquarters on Hat Creek in Nebraska and Rawhide Creek in Wyoming. By June, 1886, the Fremont, Elkhorn, and Missouri Valley Railroad (later the Chicago and North Western) reached the present site of Harrison. On August 15, Coffee shipped the first train load from Harrison to Chicago.

Coffee Siding, located here to avoid higher freight rates in Wyoming, became an important shipping point for Nebraskans. Wyoming ranchers also trailed herds here for shipment. Near the 1,023 footlong siding, Coffee built seven cattle pens. Cattle awaiting shipment were pastured on the Niobrara River south of here. As many as three cattle trains, each consisting of not less than fourteen cars, were sometimes shipped at a time.
Ranching continues as the major industry in Sioux County, but development of better roads and use of huge cattle trucks have reduced dependence on railroads. Sidings and pens used continuously through the 1940's were removed in 1958, and little remains to mark Coffee Siding and the pioneer ranching activity it represented.

Remnants of the trestle

Remnant of a rail bed

"Near here are ruts left by the famed 1874 Sioux Expedition, a U.S. military force sent to establish Camps Sheridan and Robinson. The 1868 Treaty of Fort Laramie had guaranteed food and supplies to the Sioux and other tribes in exchange for lands ceded to the United States. To distribute annuity goods, Red Cloud Agency was established on the North Platte River below Fort Laramie. In 1873 the agency was relocated to the White River Valley near present-day Crawford.

Misunderstandings between Indian leaders and agents hampered the distribution of supplies during the winter of 1873-74. In three separate incidents in February, hostile bands of Sioux killed freighter Edward Gray, Red Cloud agent Frank Appleton, and two soldiers from Fort Laramie, including Lieutenant Levi Robinson. General Philip Sheridan responded by organizing the Sioux Expedition.

In early March nearly one thousand troops followed an old fur-trade route from Fort Laramie to the Red Cloud and Spotted Tail Agencies. The establishment of Camps Robinson and Sheridan maintained an uneasy peace until the outbreak of the Sioux War two years later. Camp Robinson was renamed Fort Robinson in 1878 and the improved Fort Laramie—Fort Robinson Trail helped supply this outpost on the plains."

Van Tassell, Wyoming

2011-07-24T14:59:00.007-06:00

Schuyler Van Tassell, a major rancher in the area, objected to having a railroad station named after him. He persisted in utilizing Cheyenne for shipping purposes, ignoring the much closer stop.

Ferdinand Branstetter, the first US soldier to die in the trenches in World War I, was from Van Tassell. The American Legion opened its first post here in 1919, naming it after Branstetter. The Ferdinand Branstetter Post Number One is on the National Register of Historic Places.

One of the abandoned old homes left in Van Tassell - a town with a population of 14!

Lusk - Part 2

2011-07-24T14:38:00.009-06:00

Passing through the town of Lusk, near the Nebraska border, we stopped by a couple of places we'd missed in the past.

The redwood water tank was built to furnish water for the Fremont, Elkhorn and Missouri Valley Railroad steam engines. This line, which was part of the northwestern line, and later became the Chicago Northwestern Railroad, came to Lusk on July 13, 1886. The original site was several hundred feet to the west of the present location. Water was furnished from a well by a windmill. Later, it came from a hand-dug well by hand and steam power. The tank is one of six left standing in the U.S.

The above description is what is written on this old wooden sign in front of the tank.

Depicted on the above monument are many of the famous brands of the outfits that trailed cattle from Texas to Montana. For identification and explanation of brands. The trail ran from Texas to Montana. For twenty years cattle were herded on the trail to replace the buffalo.

Daycation 7/23/11 - 465 Miles

2011-07-24T14:32:00.001-06:00

We had so much fun exploring in Nebraska last weekend, we decided to go and try another part of that state. So off we went. In the beginning we basically went the same route as last week, so we just hurried along to the Nebraska border. But, there were a couple of side roads that I saw that needed to be explored first.

One of these roads was called "Spanish Diggings". I'd read that "The greatest prehistoric workshop on the American Continent lies twelve and one half miles south of Lusk. Covering an area thirty miles long and ten miles wide, it presents a panorama of hundreds of stone shops urrounded by huge piles of chippings left by generations of prehistoric arrow and spearhead makers. Hundreds of specimens of perfect pottery have been removed from this site to Eastern Museums, many more probably remain for the searcher of today". Wouldn't you want to check out this place? So we drove for about six miles until I came to a divided road and then had no idea of where to go so we turned around. Gotta do some more research on this place and come back.

These are some pictures that I took along that road...

Diary Diddle - July 21

2011-07-21T23:07:00.005-06:00

1969 - The astronauts got off the moon safely and caught up with the ship "Columbia". It still just seems incredible about man going to the moon.

Scanned copy of a newspaper I saved.

1970 - Tonight at M.I.A. there was some excitement. When we were just starting to play "fruit basked turnover" and were changing seats, someone knocked my toenail off. It just felt like someone stepped on it. So I had to sit out for the rest of the night. Needless to say, my toes doesn't feel good.
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Note: Yes, my big toenail was completely ripped off my foot.

Mom's Diary Diddle

2011-07-21T23:06:00.004-06:00

July 21, 1961 - Had my hair shampooed again today. I just love all the hair styles I get.

Mom all "dolled up" in a dress made by her Japanese seamstress and a new hairstyle. The cast on her leg? That happened when she went ice skating in Tokyo with me and other branch members and broke her leg.

Today In History...

2011-07-21T23:04:00.001-06:00

July 21, 1861…The first major battle of the U.S. Civil War began. It was the Battle of Bull Run at Manassas Junction, Virginia, and won by Confederate forces.

These are some Civil War artifacts that I have in my possession:

Some People Wouldn't Be Happy If You Hung Them With A New Rope...

2011-07-21T22:58:00.000-06:00

...this is based on a saying that I've heard my dad say my entire life. It think it's quite an appropriate way to describe this part of my life. It's my new job. Why would I be writing about my new job in a semi-negative way? After all, I was unemployed for five months and now I have a job. A job that has very nice accommodating people, nice working conditions, a better than average hourly wage, two bathroom breaks a day, etc., etc., etc.

My job has made me venture into unknown territory. I hardly ever and rarely do any real typing on my computer - that's primarily for imputing numbers and I was used to doing some serious typing as well as designing and using spreadsheets. None of that here. In fact, I use a typewriter. Yes, a typewriter to enter information on recreational titles. This is what a typewriter looks like just in case you've never seen one or have forgotten what it looks like:

I am doing a lot of counting - counting Vehicle Identification Numbers (VIN) to make sure the correct amount of numbers and letters are present. Were you aware that there are 17 numbers and letters per VIN? I wasn't either, but I am now.

I answer the telephone - lots and lots of "Good morning. Stalkup's RV. This is Carol. How may I help you? Thank you. I transfer you to that department".

I shuffle lots and lots of paper - MSO's, titles, insurance agreements, credit applications, credit checks, title reassignments, picture ID's, power of attorneys, etc., etc., etc.

I enjoy my work, well at least when I know what I am doing and at this point in time, I don't feel like I know enough or am learning quickly enough. This is all causing me to doubt my ability to learn which makes me feel inadequate and even insecure. I feel quite certain that the very nice person who is training me has probably lost quite an amount of her hair from frustration. My work self-esteem seems to be doing a violent nose dive and I'm hoping that I will be able to save myself by pulling some ripcord before it's too late.

I just know that something has got to happen one way or the other before I crash and burn - I can't handle too many more restless nights and lack of good sleep, feeling like my heart is being squeezed in someone's fist, the morning headaches, the stomach cramps, etc., etc., etc. My final prayer each morning is pleading with Heavenly Father to help me retain what I'm being taught. I just hope He hasn't gone on summer vacation!

Happy Moon Day! July 20, 1969

2011-07-20T20:30:00.004-06:00

42 years ago today, Neil Armstrong became the 1st man to walk on the moon! It's hard to believe we've reached the final flight for the space program already! What were you doing on Moon Day back in 1969?

I was (according to my diary)..."I'm now listening to the broadcast of the Apollo. They landed on the moon just perfect. They are going to step out on the surface of the moon soon. Well, they just did it! At 10:56 est Armstrong septted out on the surface. I was downstairs in the living room with Nancy, Susan and Mom."

A scanned copy of the newspaper I saved commemorating this event.

Deja Vu - Scottsbluff, Nebraska

2011-07-19T21:19:00.005-06:00

Last weekend was when Joe and I went on our daycation to Scottsbluff, Nebraska. Though this was Joe's very first visit, it was my second one. I visited here in August of 1999 with Corey while we were on our two week driving vacation. This 14 million year old sedimentary mass loomed for days in the distance and signaled pioneers they were entering into the western lands.

From notes Corey and I'd written documenting our trip..."Scottsbluff is indescribable - can see Laramie Peak 120 miles away in Wyoming and Chimney Rock 23 miles away. Saw a deer and the wind blew so cool my ear turned cold. Saw another deer while driving down - took a couple of pictures with her just standing there.

While checking out this morning, Corey met a bald-headed big biker man and his wife who had Harley's staying at the motel. Turns out they're from Denver and he's a probation office. He gave Corey his card is case we need help when we arrived there.

It's misting rain this morning and it's 67 degrees. We went to get our gas last night - paid $1.18 a gallon. But, that good cause I just saw $1.28 a gallon a minute ago". (Note: I wish we could buy gas at any of those prices now. Today's current lowest rate here in Casper is $3.29 per gallon).

Our notes also said..."FYI Scottsbluff has a cow dung odor". (It still did last weekend).

Today In History...

2011-07-19T21:18:00.004-06:00

July 19, 1799…The Rosetta Stone, a tablet with hieroglyphic translations into Greek, was found in Egypt.

In July of 2000, when Corey and I went on vacation to England, one of the things we did was visit the British Museum. What a fantastic place and somewhere I'd love to go visit again some day. While there one of the things we got to see on display with The Rosetta Stone.

Corey standing in front of the "Rosetta Stone". It was the key that unlocked the mysteries of Egyptian hieroglyphics. Napoleon's troops discovered it in 1799 near the seaside town of Rosetta in lower Egypt and it eventually made its way into the British Museum. It is a slab of black basalt dating from 196 BC inscribed with ancient Egyptians with a royal decree praising their king Ptolemy V. The inscription is written three times, one in hieroglyphics, one in demotic and one in Greek. From this meager starting point, Egyptologists eventually managed to read most everything that remains of the Egyptians ancient writings.

The Rosetta Stone

Even in England, Corey managed to "chat up" a girl who just happened to attend Georgia State University.

Passing Through Chugwater On the Way Home

2011-07-17T22:44:00.008-06:00

This was once a one room schoolhouse that was began in 1910 and eventually burned to the ground. It was out in the middle of nowhere and I've not been able to find out any infomration on it.

Then it was on to Chugwater...

Nearby Chug Springs, at the head of Chugwater Creek, was once the site of an Indian buffalo jump. According to legend, chasing buffalo off a cliff, instead of hunting them, was the idea of a young chieftain. He was known as “The Dreamer,” because he was a man of thought, not action. Derived from the sound the buffalo made when they fell into the water, the Indians called the place “water where the buffalo chug.” Immigrants shortened this to Chugwater, and so it remains to this day. Today Chugwater is best known for Chugwater Chili which was created by local residents and is now sold and famous worldwide. A lively place for such a small town, Chugwater was once the central headquarters for the Swan Land and Cattle Company, the biggest Wyoming cattle concern for many years, covering over 500,000 acres. It was also an important stop for the Cheyenne-Deadwood Stage. John “Portugee” Phillips, of Fetterman Fight fame, became the first postmaster here, and opened the Chugwater Ranch in 1876.

Chugwater is also the source of an important geologic term: Chugwater Formation. This is a telltale combination of red gypsum and shale discovered here which gives a specific Triassic dating to the rock wherever it’s found.

Heading Back From Scottsbluff

2011-07-17T21:13:00.010-06:00

YeeHaw...back in our home state!

This says...
1876 - 1897
In remembrance of the hardy pioneer stockman and cowboys who drove their Texas herds across this spot into central and northern Wyoming.

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS PICTURE!!! There was a storm brewing on the other side of
this mountain ridge and the sun was still trying to break through the clouds. I loved how
brilliantly white the edge of the mountain looked where the sun peeked through. I stopped
and got out of the car to take a series of pictures and this is the only one I got before
the clouds instantaneously covered the sun.

This paved road is so old and unused that it has cracks so wide that grass is growing in
between the cracks.

Wheat fields that look like a quilt.

These two pictures (above and below) show a canyon that we unexpectedly came upon. Unfortunately, the camer does not show the depth of the canyon. It was almost like the Grand Canyon.

Another favorite picture....this old windmill with the mountain range in the back, the old junked car and the barbed wire fence.

Rebecca Winters Grave

2011-07-17T21:03:00.003-06:00

Just off Highway 26 east of Scottsbluff sits a shaded grave, surrounded by protective green trees. You might wonder the story of that gravesite. Who is in it? Why is it so significant? An educational historical marker will tell you that the grave belongs to Rebecca Winters, one of the few people to be buried in a marked grave along the Mormon Trail.

Winters is considered a symbol of the westward movement, one of hundreds of thousands who set out to make a new life for themselves, one of so many who succumbed to illness along the way.

The 50-year-old woman and her husband, Hiram, were traveling in 1852 with a Utah-bound wagon train when she took ill with cholera somewhere near Fort Kearney. She died near what is now Scottsbluff on August 15, leaving behind five children between seven and 27 years old. It is said that a close family friend stayed up that mournful night to make a grave marker out of an old wagon tire, engraving the words, “Rebecca Winters, Aged 50 Years” into the iron.

For over 140 years, the simple marker stood unbothered, but because railroad tracks were laid only six feet from where the tire was embedded, officials began to fear for visitors’ safety as well as the integrity of the grave. So, in 1995, with more than 100 of Winters’ descendants on hand, the body was exhumed and the grave moved 900 feet east to protect it and its visitors from potential harm involving the trains.

You can now pull off the highway and pay respect to the symbolic grave and the hardship and endurance it represents. You’ll see the original marker and its thoughtful engraving.

This is heading towards the Wyoming border and leaving Nebraska...